Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kishimoto does. Because, otherwise I would not be waiting impatiently for chapter 430 to come out.

Thanks for your kind reviews, everyone! Haha, I was not planning to continue this story- it was a random thing I thought up but it soon caught on and I thought of more stuff, so I'm posting more. It'll be kinda a humor fic, so there won't be any pairings since it's also letters being exchanged during the two and a half years before the timeskip, so I'm really sorry to those of you who wanted some pairings. Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors! I did my best to check.

Excuse Sasuke's excessive use of "Doggonits" in the previous chapter. Too much of Sarah Palin's "folksiness".

2. That Goshdarned Color Pencil Set

What the hell, Sasuke?

What kind of screwed up training session is that? Oh, silly me, your sensei IS Orochimaru, after all. What was I thinking?

Don't let that ego of yours get too swollen, they were probably lousy redshirts(1) or bandits Orochimaru got hold of. Only four months so far, and you've clearly inherited Orochimaru's blatant disregard for human life, though.

Congratulations, shithead, give yourself a fucking pat on the back! Yeah! (By the way, I was being sarcastic, in case you couldn't tell.)

I don't need to "top that", Sasuke. I'll go for quality, not quantity. Plus my job isn't one to kill as many pointlessly. I am no longer clinging to those romantic notions, by the way.

Unlike you, I GREW UP.

And did you send me this letter with all the bloodstains on the paper purely for some lame dramatic effect? It failed spectacularly, just to let you know. Doggonit? Really, Sasuke.

--Hating You,

Sakura

P.S Tsunade-shishou thinks you are indeed Orochimaru's sex slave and she will not send his evil love to Jiraiya, or to anyone else, for that matter. Oh, and she says to put down that bag of glue. It's pretty dangerous. And Kakashi-sensei says he's disappointed at what an ass you've become.

Tch, Sakura, to think I actually bothered to dignify your WPS self with a proper salutation.

Heh, Sakura, you and the dobe cling to too many useless emotions, that is why you are weak. You have too many bonds, you are unwilling to kill an enemy as easily as I am. That holds you back.

You know, are you really over me and no longer a ditzy fangirl? Or are you just bolder when you don't have to say it to my face? My, your language has certainly gotten pretty coarse, eh? You picked that up from Naruto or your shishou? I wonder what ever happened to your blushing, nervous and polite self whenever you were on another of your pathetic attempts to ask me out. Or your righteous outrage when Naruto wanted to take a leak in front of a "lady".

Doggonit is a perfectly nice word, in my opinion. Still a genin, Sakura?

And it's not my fault Kakashi decided to teach me the Chidori.

--Sasuke

P.S To clarify, I AM NOT high on any illegal substances, you annoying girl. A little blood making you squeamish? Don't you have flower arranging to do, or something?

Deadlast,

I. Am. Not. Riled. Up. Certainly not by your insignificant and pathetic attempts to provoke me. Do NOT question my male-ness!

I have NOTHING to be jealous about. I was just wondering how a moron like you could manage to learn a somewhat serious technique.

Plus, at the Valley of the End, I WON the fight. I knocked you out- I could have easily killed you, you know. I spared your life ON A WHIM! A WHIM!! You stupidly used your Rasengan to scratch my hitae-ate instead of aiming it where it could do most damage, HAH, so I got you with my awesome ninja skillz. That's HOW you are weak.

I am not getting delirious, my letters are coherently written, Naruto. I have NO inferiority complex. I am not throwing a hissy fit- that'd be Kabuto; he's gotten his panties in a twist just because I stole some off his senbon and ate his lunch- I was really hungry after this amazing training session when I killed 100 ninjas all by myself.

For all your grandiloquent declarations about how you and Sakura are going to drag me back to Konoha, good luck with even finding Orochimaru's base in the first place. You better watch that ramen- you might end up keeling over before you can even fulfill this grand mission of yours.

--Sasuke, in some undisclosed location that Orochimaru has moved to.

Sasuke,

You have been known to be illogical but what you say really beggars belief. Rasengan is a "somewhat" serious technique? Hahaha! Who are you kidding, bastard? The jutsu the Yondaime created is a "somewhat serious" technique? Delusions and denial are very dangerous, dear Sasu-chan. You are clearly losing your grip on reality.

Will you even listen to yourself, bastard? By your logic, you must have been weak too, since you didn't finish me off at the Valley of the End, the same way I scratched your hitae-ate instead of striking your heart; which you harangue as a sign of my "softness". By the way, what are these "whims" of yours that you so love mentioning? They must be really dumb whims, though, from the looks of it.

Seriously, it must be unpleasant being Orochimaru's student. Even without him taking any passes at you or anything, I imagine his hideout must be some dark, musty cave or something, where bat droppings rule the day. Hell, with ero-sennin, at least I get to travel all over the Five Great Countries. And what kind of stupid training session is that? As expected, from Orochimaru, though.

Aw, Sasu-chan, I'm soooo touched how concerned you are for my wellbeing! Well, you needn't worry, I'll never die from something like that. I still have to kick your stupid ass and knock some sense into your equally stupid brain, don't I?

Go on with your sad posturing of how weak I am, Sasu-chan. Don't let my harsh words shatter your delicate self-esteem, will you?

--Naruto (Somewhere in Lightning Country, seriously, their lightning storms own your stupid Chidori, you know?)

Dead Last,

Shut up, dobe. I am not deluded. And I have no obligation to tell you what these "whims" are. All you need to know is that you've never really been able to match me on the battlefield. The only reason I spared you was because I wasn't going to follow that piece-of-shit brother of mind's methods.

My current abode is quite comfortable, thank you, and does not have the bat droppings you imagine. Yes, we do have proper plumbing.

So has that perverted teacher of you taught anything? And believe me, my new technique I am creating is intended to rival those lightning storms you talk about.

AND I AM NOT CONCERNED FOR YOUR WELLBEING. WHY DO YOU AND SAKURA LIKE QUESTIONING MY GENDER OR SEXUALITY AND MAKING THESE STUPID COMMENTS?!

I. Do. Not. Have. A. Delicate. Self. Esteem.

And I am NOT being overly-emotional or whatever nonsense you have thought up.

And you are still weaker then me, dammit!

--Sasuke

P.S Are you that stupid to tell me that you are in Lightning Country? Aren't you worried Orochimaru could, say, leak this information to that damned organization my brother is a part of?

Hey Asshole,

It's been half a year now, so how is it so far living in some hole in the ground with Orochimaru?

Don't stress your minuscule brain figuring it out.

That idiotic, "blushing, nervous and polite self" died and got lost. Actually, she'd been getting lost ever since the Chuunin exams, when I decided to cut my hair to free myself from that Sound bitch, what was her name-Kin? I guess Inner Sakura came out, loser. Too bad, I'm not going to take your shit anymore the next time we meet.

Here you go again, you chauvinist, misogynist PIG. I'm a medic-nin, I'm not afraid of blood. Flower arranging doesn't take up all my time, you know. I'm making a nice wreath for your funeral though, after Naruto and I rip you to shreds for your supreme stupidity. At least I don't spend my time talking to myself how I am going to kill my only living relative every morning, which I'm sure you do- it's the only way you can prep yourself to face the day- since you say your revenge is the only thing you live for.

Oh, my language? Shishou's been a pretty good influence and source of awesome swear words to use on annoying shitheads like you.

Doggonit is a LAME word, Asshole, for the record.

I'll be taking the Chuunin Exams in a week's time. With Ino and Choji. We have to leave for Kirigakure now. You can safely conclude that if I don't reply to you more then three months later that I've either died (Go throw a party to celebrate my demise, I know you want to) or have decided to ignore you for good.

And do tell your sensei not to pull any of his stunts during the next Chuunin exams, Sasuke, or your brother will be the only one able to revive your clan.

--Sakura

P.S What the hell does WPS stand for?

Good luck, Annoying, you'll need it.

It'd be a miracle if you could get through to the second exam, let alone come out of the whole thing alive. During that last exam, me and that dead last practically carried you through. And it was held in Konoha.

Don't stress about Orochimaru interfering- he's got better things to do. His grudge is against Konoha, not Kiri or anything.

You know, maybe if you're lucky, you'll have to move onto flower arranging after this Exam exposes what an inept ninja you are.

I'll be waiting for your reply in three months time, Annoying, only because your rantings are highly amusing.

--Sasuke

P.S Weak, Pathetic and Sad

I don't need your luck, asshole!

If I'm lucky? If I'm lucky, you would just fall on a fork tomorrow morning and die. Yeah.

And change your messenger bird; it has the most hideous, sharp, shrill and annoying squawk. Is it even a bird? It looks like one of Orochimaru's experiments that went haywire. I might just kill it by accident like I did with the other one! And how did this dumb bird manage to arrive with your letter in just fifteen minutes?

--(LEAVING FOR REAL NOW) Sakura

Hmph, so it was you who killed Bird? I have no idea how this current messenger bird got back so fast. Orochimaru must have given it steroids or something.

--Sasuke

Hey Bastard,

Then what's with all the capitals? You sure seemed frustrated from how hard and angrily you wrote the letter- the scratches are pretty deep.

I still think you're a moron for going with Orochimaru. Nothing can beat travelling around the world, and generally not associating with creepy pedophiles who want to take over your body.

Really, why is it you think you'll never be able to "catch up" to Itachi in Konoha? You were actually doing fine, but I guess you like to live dangerously.

Please, whatever flashy technique you and that pedophile come up with, you can't replicate a force of nature. Those electrical storms make you look puny, like you really are. Plus you can't beat this new technique ero-sennin is teaching me- of course I'm not going to tell you anything about it, but damn, it's awesome, even your Chidori with whatever bells and whistles you attach to it won't be able to stand up against it.

Hey, I can summon, can you? Maybe Orochimaru thinks you're too delicate to handle that- probably why he hasn't taught you yet.

And come on, admit it, Sasu-chan. Your face is at the very least, androgynous, if not, somewhat effeminate looking.

And on the issue of my location, please, ero-sennin said it was fine. He knows something (but isn't telling me, dammit!) about why that snake-pedophile got chased out of the Akatsuki and is fairly confident Orochimaru won't collaborate with them.

Even then, Lightning Country isn't exactly small.

--Naruto

P.S Your handwriting is uglier then usual. I bet you burnt your right hand while trying to create Uber!Chidori, so you're writing with your left, eh?

Dobe,

I am not even going to answer your incessant questioning of my emotional state and how effeminate I look. Yes, I injured my hand. But I am ambidextrous, at least, even if my left hand isn't my dominant hand. I bet anything you tried to write with your non-dominant hand would resemble some kind of chicken scrawl.

Heh, Chidori is effective because of its SPEED. Whatever "awesome" jutsu you came up with, nothing travels faster then light.

Shut up about Itachi. You have NO IDEA how favoritism is like among parents. They always gave him BETTER STUFF! My aunt gave him the bigger set of color pencils with all SEVENTY-TWO colors for his sixth birthday while I got the measly twelve-colored one! Well, he never used it- he was in all his damned coolness already toying with real kunai and shuriken- unlike me, but STILL. Whenever Itachi pulled another of his awesome accomplishments out of his ass- like when he got into the Konoha ANBU, Father was always; "As expected of my son."

Me? What am I, chopped liver? "Become a good ninja like your brother."

That was ALL he said when I placed FIRST, dammit, FIRST, in our class at the Academy- the same as that bastard, Itachi in his own year. And I actually bothered to go and find him to show him my card while Itachi was always nonchalant about EVERYTHING- he even threw away his own glowing report card- it was Mother who found it in the trash.

So I decide to labor for days to learn Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu to prove to Father I'm not in Itachi's shadow. The first thing my father says when I tell him I want to learn it? Oh, he thinks I can't do it. Wow, HOW ENCOURAGING. So I get burns and exhaust my chakra, and excited and jittery, I bring Father to the lake and produce one hell of a fireball. And well, he FINALLY said, "As expected, you are my son."- but he wouldn't even freaking look at me when he was saying that!

It was the first and last time he said it. After that, Itachi decided to murder everyone- and that guaranteed Father would never say "As expected of my son" to me ever again- and the rest is history.

That is also why I hate Itachi.

--Sasuke

P.S Orochimaru says he's going to teach me to summon, so there.

Jeez, Bastard,

Stop bitching.

At least you got presents to begin with. The only presents I ever got on my birthday back then was everybody glaring at me, and the time some asshole decided it would be funny to trash my apartment because I am generally disliked and my birthday is on the same day the Kyuubi attacked the village. And that time Old Man Hokage gave me a set of kunai and shuriken, and when Iruka-sensei treated me to fifteen bowls of ramen. Other then that?

ZILCH. ZERO. Nothing. Not even a glorified SIX set of color pencils or any stuffed toys like that dinosaur one you have (2).

Hell, I didn't even see a set of color pencils, be it the twelve color, let alone, seventy-two one when I was in the scribbling stage. I had to settle for ink and pencils. I didn't even have any parents, nor did I even know who they are- and I still don't, up till now. (I strongly suspect ero-sennin does, and I intend to force it out of him one of these days.) Despite your father's blatant favoritism of Itachi, hell, at least you had your mother, whom, I recall you telling me some time, was quite nice to you.

And oh, at the Academy all the teachers would gush how awesome you are. At least YOU weren't relegated to being a hopeless case.

Hey, I so would NOT write a chicken scrawl, I'm not ambidextrous but my hand would probably have healed by now, heh, Sasu-chan.

Oh? Nothing can be faster then light? Think what you want, Sasu-chan. Just don't be too shocked when you're owned by my awesome new jutsu.

--Naruto

P.S The Kumogakure lightning storms still own your Chidori. And, be careful you don't kill yourself from chakra exhaustion. Summoning is pretty chakra intensive, you know.

(1) Euphemism meaning cannon fodder. You know, in a show where they have hundreds of bad guys that are really weak and easily defeated, and basically their only purpose is to try to overwhelm the good guy through their numbers. Originated from Star Trek, or something.

(2) Reference to dinosaur/lizard stuffed toy seen in Sasuke's flashback in Chapter 402.

Thanks for reading, and please review!

More on Sasuke's inferiority complex and favoritism issues with Itachi in the next chapter. And a bunch of other stuff.