Summary: It was never his intention to hurt Kiyoshi but now his gloomy past haunts him. What will Hanamiya do if he suddenly realizes the real intentions of his actions but time is running out?
Rating: M
Words: 13,045
A/N: Yaio. KiyoHana. Characters may be OC. Pardon for my wrong grammar. Kuroko no Basuke is not mine.
AKWARD CONFESSIONS
Chapter 2
Words: 4,711
Hanamiya woke up from the annoying sounds of his alarm clock. Although, everything for him is annoying and is worthy of his wrath of destruction, this time it was different. He actually forgot to adjust the clock's timer for Saturday and this little realization of his actually spared the clock of its life, otherwise it could now be the nth clock that was slammed on the wall.
Makoto Hanamiya is not a morning person, he never was. As far as he is concerned, he walking up early and doing the usual routine only means that he was being imprisoned by the society and is being robbed out of his free-will. Although many people would actually agree with him, the way he says it makes people think that he is crazy psychopath who does not care about the word which is fact is almost a correct definition of him.
Looking up from his bedroom's only window, he smiled as he realizes that the sun was still asleep and the sky was still dark. Darkness was the only thing that could comfort him this time. Checking the time again – 3:45AM, he scanned his room for something interesting to do, aside from his laptop which was turned off and the adult magazines on top of his table, he concluded that there was indeed nothing else interesting in his jungle like room but Hanamiya, being a lazy one does not even want to rise from his bed yet. Instead of giving himself a problem, he rested his head back to his soft and comfortable pillow and as he closes his eyes, memories of yesterday came rushing back to him out of his own will.
For the first time, Hanamiya learned to be scared in his life. He was not scared when he almost lost his life when he was in nursery, he also did flinch when he lost his father when he was in elementary, the societal discrimination also did not affected him when he was in middle school but now things are totally different, Hanamiya was scared and he was scared for no reason at all.
Walking home from school was the usual, except that he actually had forgotten to change clothes. He had to leave abruptly; he never wanted to look weak in front of his enemies, the more to his teammates. It's not about pride, it all about the team's spirit, given in the most unfortunate circumstances, he will kneel to an enemy but never will he want to appear weak in front of his comrades.
Hanamiya was walking slowly his mind full of questions that needed immediate answers. If I saw him and they did not, does this mean I'm hallucinating? Wait, what the hell, why am I even hallucinating in the first place? And why it is about him, of all people, why him? Shit! Shit! Shit! Hanamiya, think straight for fuck's sake. Wait, straight, I am straight right? He pondered deeply that he did not even noticed the electric post in front of him. In mere seconds, his face collided with the metal post.
"Fuck." Hanamiya cursed as he could feel how stupid he is and how annoying the post was.
"Ne, ne, oni-san, are you alright?" He heard a voice then suddenly he realized something, wait that voice, he slowly turned his head to the direction of the voice.
Hanamiya's iris enlarged as he saw the boy, tall, brown-haired, a child version of Kiyoshi. Sweat began running through his forehead and before anything could happen, Hanamiya screamed.
His scream caught everyone's attention. In a split second, the boy was gone and what was left were eyes of people staring at him. This aint good, I should better take a good rest, maybe I am just tired and disappointed of the match results that's why I am seeing these weird people. He contemplated and began walking faster to his apartment.
"Hey, Hanamiya, how are you?" He heard a voice again and he quickly looked at the direction of the voice, wait that voice, it's him again.
"Makoto, I'm just here. Where are you looking?" The voice got louder causing him to panic.
"Hanamiya, are you all right?"
"Oi! Hanamiya, you're such a good player. I want to play with you again?"
"How many people do you still have to inure for you to realize that your technique is wrong?"
Hanamiya struggled as voices got louder and louder. Shit, why is this happening? Am I loosing sanity…
"Oi, Hanamiya, I really care about you."
Fuck, you don't. He replied mentally now running faster with his hands in his ears.
"You're really mean to me. Hanamiya, when will you stop lying to yourself?"
Shit! Shit! Shit! Stop this madness. Fuck, you've been hunting me lately. I command you to stop doing it. Damn, just leave me alone. God damn, leave me alone. "FUCK!" He shouted desperately and everything went black.
"Humph." Hanamiya itched as he woke up from his deep slumber with his heart beat racing and sweat forming around his face. He had it again; this wasn't the first time he's being haunted by his nightmares but this particular nightmare was different, it was so persistent, so convincing and was so real. Wiping his eyes with his hands, he glanced at his alarm clock; it was already 6:12AM. Not even wanting to lay his back on his bed again, he quickly rose up and got his slippers.
It was the usual morning, he would go to the kitchen and would notice the memo left by his parents saying that they had gone to work early and they left everything he needed for the day on the table. He would then go to the fridge to check which food will he cook, noticing that none of the items in stored were interesting for him, Hanamiya decided to go for a walk to the market.
Hanamiya was debating whether to take a bath first or shop first. Usually he would pick the former for he does not want to go out smelling bad although he does not really smell bad at all. Deciding it would be better to take a bath later; he brushed his teeth and combed his bed hair. After then, he wore his favorite Kirisaki Daichi jacket, got his wallet and headed for the door.
The warm morning breeze and the invading rays of the sun greeted him as he took a step out of his apartment. Their house was on the second floor of the building overlooking the busy street and on the foreground is Shinjuku district with the very familiar shade of Mt. Fuji at the horizon. Hanamiya let out small smile as he continued his way down the stairs, he does not really like walking early but he can always make an exception.
With his hands in his pocket, he whistled sadistically on the way to the market, it was not a long walk, it was nor a short walk either. Arriving in front a café where he is supposed to turn right, he took a short peek inside. Maybe eating outside will be better than cooking. Without further ado, he entered the restaurant and checked the menu.
Usual Japanese breakfast would do – bowl of rice, miso soup and some vegetable. Hanamiya thought as he went near to cashier to order. He quickly paid for the meal and sat in a table near the window. I wonder what's wrong with me; I've been quite feeling uneasy these days, not to mention I have been seeing that idiot a lot lately. He contemplated as he looks the vehicles passing the road and the people causing the pedestrian lane. Could it be that… nah, that's impossible, maybe I should just eat, hmm.
"Itadakimasu." He said softly as he started eating his meal. No doubt, the food was good and Hanamiya ate until he was sated. After eating, he took some time to sit and relax for a while; he never actually had a chance to relax after their game with Seirin and procrastinating now will probably do him some good. He was about to stand when his phone rang.
"Hello?" He answered curiously as who may call him so early in the morning.
"Hey, Hanamiya, this is Hara, uhm, I was thinking of hanging out, you know. I mean like our team hanging out?" Hara answered on the other line.
"Tsk. What made you call suddenly? Exams are coming up, you guys should just study, besides celebrations can wait after it." Hanamiya replied annoyed by the early call.
"Well, ah, it's just that we really want to meet you captain." The person on the other line replied nervously. "Please captain?"
"Fine, give me 30 minutes to prepare. Where do you want to meet? Make sure this is worth it or else nobody will go home unscathed."
"Thank you captain, uhm, let me see. We'll just meet you at Shibuya. See you later." Hara replied and ended the call.
How suspicious. Hanamiya pondered as we walk out of the restaurant. Well, speaking of relaxation, at least I could use some people right now. He then smiled sadistically as he was approaching his house.
Upon arrival, Hanamiya did the basics; he went to bathroom and cleansed himself. Afterwards, he chose casual clothes – a dark pants and a white v-neck shirt to wear and waxed his hair. Before leaving the house, he checked out all the appliances and gas knob and grabbed a dark jacket.
The trip from his house to Shibuya was short at least that is if you take the subway but that is exactly what Hanamiya hates the most, subways. Subways, where everyone would just be jam-packed as if it was a packed sardine can. Nevertheless, he took the train. As if I have another choice. Ugh, I really hate it when things are not going my way.
Hanamiya arrived at their rendezvous point just exactly two minutes from the set time. He looked around searching for his minions. They should at least be here somewhere. He walked out of the platform and the familiar sight of the Shibuya crossing met him. Now where the hell are they? He thought in irritation as his patience was wearing thin.
Just before he totally lost all his patience, he heard someone call him.
"Hello, Hanamiya."
Hanamiya's eyes widen in what he saw. Fuck. Am I hallucinating again? No. No. No. You're not real, you're not real, you're not real! He was again standing near him; Teppei Kiyoshi was standing near him.
"You seem surprised; I thought you would be happy to see me." Kiyoshi smiled cheerfully looking at the stone cold Hanamiya. "Wanna go for some coffee?"
Hanamiya was left speechless. Okay, maybe he's real but what the hell is he doing here? Besides, I'm supposed to meet Hara and the others. "Still happy as ever huh? I guess, I'll get my revenge soon."
Kiyoshi's lips curved upward listening to Hanamiya. "I was only asking if you want some coffee, it's either a yes or no."
"Shut up Kiyoshi. I'm not going anywhere with you. Besides I'm meeting my teammates today." Just after Hanamiya uttered those words his cell phone rang.
"Hello, Hara! Where the hell are you?" He asked angrily tightening his grip on the device
"What do you mean, you all can't come? Is this a scheme you're trying to make here?" Hanamiya's voice quickly turned deadly at hearing the voice on the other line. "Shit, after the finals, you all are doing tripled training menu!" He hanged up and looked at the traffic light totally pissed.
"Well?" He nearly forgot Kiyoshi was still standing beside him. "I guess you are free now."
Hanamiya quickly walked out not even saying a single word.
"Oi, Hanamiya, that's so mean. I was offering you a free treat you know!" Kiyoshi quickly caught up and grabbed Hanamiya's hand.
Makoto "bad boy" Hanamiya, the person who people said never had a heart and feelings suddenly felt his face reddened as he feels Kiyoshi's hand touching his. Dafuq? Am I sick? He thought and quickly swayed his head back and forth in such embarrassment.
"Oi, Hanamiya stop for a while ok! I will buy you all the coffee in Starbucks!" Kiyoshi gleefully said as he was holding Hanamiya's hand and was trying to make him stop.
Hanamiya for once in his life obeyed Kiyoshi, he actually stopped. Then when he realized that their hands were still holding, he quickly removed his hand from Kiyoshi's hold. "Why are you being so good to me? I won't be shock if you actually suddenly put poison in my coffee." His deathly glare met Kiyoshi's light and care-free eyes.
"You think, I play such bad tricks like you do?"
Hanamiya itched when he heard it. Rather than waiting for Kiyoshi's next statement, he continued walking toward the subway entrance, wanting to go home and sleep. Still an Idiot I see. He smiled sadistically.
"Hanamiya, I forgive you." The four words were enough to cut Hanamiya from walking. It was just so authentic, so true, so believable and genuine. "You can call me idiot, like you always do or curse me like a shit but that doesn't change the fact that you the one…"
Hanamiya looked at Kiyoshi who was staring at him full of sympathy and sincerity."It does not change the fact that you are my closest childhood friend and no matter who you are and what you have become, I'm still here." Kiyoshi shifted his gaze from Hanamiya's eyes to the signage around him. He paused for a while. Oh, that was such a confession. I wonder what Hanamiya will say. "But then again, I won't bother you if you don't like it. I guess, I'll just have to see you next time around." He waved and slowly turned around.
However, before he can even make a step, he heard a soft response from Hanamiya. "Okay, I want a Mocha Frappe, make sure it's venti."
Never expecting to hear such respond, he smiled showing his usual and traditional cheerful face. "Okay then, let's go."
The two unlikely pair walked slowly to the nearest Starbucks outlet which was just on the other side of the road. Waiting for the traffic signal, the two went completely silent as they stand side by side. I wonder what this feeling of easiness and uneasiness is. Hanamiya thought as he closed his eyes pondering of the sudden warmth and acceptance he can feel coming from Kiyoshi. Could it really be that… no, no, no. We are just going for a chat and that's it.
The traffic signal had just turned red and the pedestrian signal turned green. Suddenly, people from different directions were crossing the street. It was so chaotic yet at the same time orderly. Just like the usual Shibuya crossing rush which has been quite a tourist destination, he was feeling the same, so wrong yet it feels so right.
He was about to be ingested by his own thought when suddenly Kiyoshi shouted catching the attention of almost everyone in the same lane. Hanamiya looked at Kiyoshi with much skepticism. Now what?
"Uhm, can we walk to Seirin first, it about a 10 minute walk from here. I actually forgot my wallet." Kiyoshi scratched the back of his head lightly somehow embarrassed.
He's really a total idiot. Hanamiya thought somehow both amused and annoyed. Wait. Did he just day that we have to walk back to SEIRIN? Not knowing what to do, he actually wanted to stop but a part of him was telling him no. Makoto Hanamiya was in desperate to make a decision.
"Uhm, is there something wrong, Hanamiya?" Kiyoshi suddenly asked noticing his companion's pale face.
"Nothing, I just want to know who's in Seirin right now." Hanamiya lied.
"Oh well, not much because it's Saturday but I guess the basketball club members are there practicing for the Winter Cup."
Hanamiya nearly wanted to stop walking upon hearing what Kiyoshi said. Shit, looks like I'm getting fried. He then smiled bemusedly. At least, Seirin will remember me as the one, wait, that's not quite right; I still have another year to destroy them, I maybe smiling Kiyoshi but I still owe you a fall. I owe you a fall.
"Don't worry, they won't kill you." Kiyoshi said as if he could read what Hanamiya was thinking. "And if ever you are wondering why I'm not practicing, I'm exempted from practice today. I personally asked to for some reason. "
The duo kept on walking eastward from the Shibuya crossing. Hanamiya was now very much annoyed and was fuming on why he agreed to be with Kiyoshi in the first place but in a few more minutes, he quickly saw the familiar gate of Seirin High in which he and Kiyoshi once argued which high school to go.
"Here we are. You can wait here, if you don't want to…" Kiyoshi greeted when they arrived at the gate but was cut short.
"I'm fine; just get this thing over with. Anyway, where did you forget your wallet?" Hanamiya interrupted really annoyed now.
"Ah, it's in the locker room. Are you sure you'll be alright?"
"Nah, I'm fine, when I said that I am fine."
"Okay then.' The two continued to walk to the gym with no one saying even a single word. When they stood in front of the door, Kiyoshi suddenly opened them which quickly revealed the other members of the Seirin practicing.
"Oi, Kiyoshi, you came ba…" Hyuga, the Seirin's captain was not able to finish his statement when he saw Hanamiya standing beside Kiyoshi.
As fast as lightning, the whole practice session stopped, the sounds of the balls bouncing the floor vanished and Hanamiya felt amused as he saw nearly a dozen pair of eyes staring at him as if they wanted to kill him mercilessly.
"Ah, I just came back to get my wallet when I ran into Hanamiya, I thought we can go out for a while you know." Kiyoshi broke the awkward silence and went straight to the locker room while Hanamiya was left standing at the gym door smiling lightly.
As soon as Kiyoshi disappeared from their sight, the atmosphere even got heavier. Hyuga who wanted go get even with Hanamiya was already fuming. How dare he show us his face and even get to go out Kiyoshi naturally after what he did.
"I was just thinking of saying hi, you know. I wanted to apologize for everything. I mean whatever troubles I have caused I want to…. Idiots! I will never say such things as nonsense as that. I will make you all suffer, suffer hard, especially you." Hanamiya burst into a sadistic laugh while staring intensely at Kuroko's emotionless face.
Hyuga did not take it anymore. He never did, it was just because he was in an official match but this time, no one will tell him what he did was wrong. He can no longer stand this man's arrogance and sadism. Moving toward Hanamiya, he quickly pulled him up holding his shirt.
"You bastard!" Hyuga declared as he was about to swing his right fist directly to Hanamiya's face who showed little or no care at all when suddenly he heard Kiyoshi.
"Hyuga, stop!" He knew it was wrong to bring Hanamiya to Seirin, he knew that even if he insisted, he should have not allowed his teammates to see Hanamiya. They will never understand perhaps not even in the following years to come. It was just pure luck that when he arrived back at the court after looking for his wallet, he was still able to stop his captain from punching him.
It was his respect that made Hyuga to stop his fist colliding with Hanamiya's face; it was his respect of Kiyoshi. Hyuga quickly dropped Hanamiya who jus grinned after what happened. "This is not over; you will still pay for what you did last year and this year, Hanamiya. I swear you will pay." Hyuga threatened as he slowly walks away from him.
"Bring it on, eye-glasses boy." Hanamiya smirked.
Kiyoshi never liked his childhood friends' sudden change in behavior that started in middle school, although he prevented Hyuga from punching him, it was actually for their team's sake. We will look like hypocrites saying Kirisaki Daichi uses dirty tactics and here we are punching their captain in the face.
"Let's go Hanamiya, I don't want any more trouble." Kiyoshi uttered in a serious tone. Hanamiya quickly shifted his gaze to Kiyoshi who was now more serious than ever. Being someone who knows him very well, he knows that Kiyoshi means business when he's serious.
"Hmf. We are not yet done, Seirin. We are not yet done." Hanamiya warns as he left the Seirin gym and caught up with Kiyoshi who was already walking towards the gate.
The way back the Starbucks Shibuya was a silent one, quieter when they were walking to Seirin. Hanamiya just kept on gazing at the sidewalk stores while Kiyoshi's eyesight has never left his frontal views. Why would I feel guilty? They deserve it, the winter cup participation was supposed to be mine; I am merely stealing back what is mine. Hanamiya selfishly thought as they were approaching Starbucks.
As promised, Kiyoshi ordered one cup of Mocha Frappe and Vanilla Frappe upon their entrance at the coffee shop. He quickly paid for the drinks and went to sit beside Hanamiya who was sitting in one of the high stools facing the glass wall with the Shibuya intersection visible from their normal views.
"Here." Kiyoshi smiled as he gave him his Mocha Frappe.
Hanamiya remained silent in his seat. I wonder how this guy thinks. He thought enjoying every sip from his favorite cold beverage.
"I did not like it." Kiyoshi out of the blue uttered sitting straight and staring deeply at the window.
"Did not like what?"
"Your attitude." He replied bluntly. "I can accept it even if you kill me but if you lay your fingers on my teammates, it would be a very different story."
"Ha, as if. Quit beating around the bush Kiyoshi, you know very well I don't like Seirin that much." Hanamiya replied slightly pleased.
"I see." Kiyoshi replied in a fading voice. Silence suddenly engulfed the two. It has always been, ever since they have been walking to Seirin, from Seirin and now, the two would only talk if they have to, otherwise, they will not utter anything.
"Say, what made you decide to suddenly show up and ask me out?" Hanamiya broke the silence and looked Kiyoshi directly in his eyes.
"Well, same reason as why you agreed to my offer." He replied smiling.
Hanamiya irked. I did not see that coming. "You're lying Kiyoshi, I know you must have a very deep reason as to why you all of the sudden asked your closest childhood friend for a coffee."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot I am talking to greatest liar among all other high school basketball players." Kiyoshi teased as Hanamiya's face quickly turned from being curious to annoyed.
"Shut up. Imayoshi is better at lying than me. That stupid Too captain has yet to do his part on our agreement that we made when were still in middle school, his personality is the worst." Hanamiya defended himself.
Kiyoshi laughed. He simply laughed. "Sorry, sorry, but look's who's talking."
"Enough, this conversation is going nowhere. If we are done, I'm gladly taking my leave. Thank you for the drink." Hanamiya replied totally pissed at the insult and was ready to stand up when the next few words of Kiyoshi totally frozen him.
"It's ok. I like you the way you are." Kiyoshi smiled at him. Shit on how genuine is that idiot's smile. "I actually came to see you after hearing you are having some emotional trouble. I thought I might help. Say, what has been happening to you lately?"
Fuck, you want to know? It's actually just simple hallucinations of you that I do not totally understand. "Nothing, I'm just stressed; our final exams are coming up." Hanamiya lied for the second time taking his seat again. Where are you trying to get this conversation to?
"I may not be as good as you are but I can totally see it in your eyes that you are lying." Kiyoshi replied staring at Hanamiya's cold eyes. "Are you actually feeling being guilty now of what you did to me?"
HA? Hanamiya mentally shouted. There is no way I'll be guilty over such trivial matters, it's normal for me to hurt people. Where did you even get that thinking?
"I see that there is no reply. Well, I'll take that as a yes then." Kiyoshi quickly added.
"Of course not, why would I…"
Hanamiya was not able to complete his defense as he felt Kiyoshi's soft lips touch his. He was unable to move, unable to process anything, unable to breathe until Kiyoshi pulled away and looked at him gleefully. Did Kiyoshi just fucking kiss me? DID HE JUST FUCKING KISS ME? Hanamiya's insides were exploding.
"You look startled." Kiyoshi uttered looking at him
Hanamiya was still unable to answer; he just wanted to punch Kiyoshi there and then. He never actually had a kiss yet especially with a stranger, although technically Kiyoshi is not a stranger for him but he never had it with the same sex either. He was totally unsure of how to react. Shit.
"I just wanted you to get out of your problems and relax."
"So, you think kissing me is the solution, dumbass?" Hanamiya murmured not sure whether to be mad or annoyed.
"Seems like it, I thought you would have my other knee broken and my face injured by your punch but I guess my predictions were wrong." Kiyoshi smiled with pleasure.
"Then wait for it. I'm totally going to break all your bones and joints." Hanamiya quickly stood up. "I'm leaving now, this is ridiculous."
"That's it?"
"What do you mean, that's it?" Hanamiya looked back and saw Kiyoshi grinning. What the hell is it this time?
"I mean, that was my first kiss. You should at least have to take some responsibility." He smiled.
Hanamiya was unsure if Kiyoshi has lost his mind lately or he just had injured him enough for him to lose his sanity. You kissed me, dumbass, it's not like I wanted to do it with you but I don't, shit stop thinking it that way, Hanamiya. "Oh yes I will, next time we'll be on court, I'll surely make sure I will take all the responsibility." He glared at the smiling brown-head and walked his way out but even before he can leave the shop he felt a strong pull of his hands and when he turned around, Kiyoshi quickly caught his lips again.
This time, it was longer and much warmer. Hanamiya could definitely feel it. He could feel Kiyoshi's affectionate lips and perseverant tongue asking for entrance, not to mention he could also taste the flavor of the vanilla frappe. When Kiyoshi broke away, his lips produced a slight smile that quickly disappeared as soon as it was formed. Without further ado, he continued his way out.
"Have some shame Kiyoshi, we're in public." Hanamiya uttered his last words as he left Kiyoshi alone staring at him from the insides of the Starbucks coffee.
I have always wanted to see that genuine smile of yours; it has been so long since then. He thought and went back to seat to finish his vanilla frappe.
Before Kiyoshi could even forget and leave the restaurant, he pulled his phone out and typed a message.
To: KDBC
Message: Done with the request, He has already left. I think he did not notice but I wish you all good luck on your tripled training menus. I'll probably meet him again after his finals.
After typing, he took one last glance of Hanamiya who is now crossing the pedestrian. Kiyoshi then let out a short chuckle and pressed 'send'. Hmm, I wonder when will he admit it, himself.