A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the reviewer who gave me some confidence and for all you sexy things that decided to follow it. I don't know WHY you did, but I'm grateful. P.S: Upon writing this chapter I have decided that this fic will take place in the new world of MHW, but will have some special appearances from my favorite/most requested monsters! BTW, Our prickly-pickley pal will be referred to as Green when in the third person, since I've yet to give him a name. Do vote for that, too ;)! So please, R&R to let me know who you'd like to see, and what to call our baby-lord pickle!
THWAA-OOM!
Son of a BITCH!
"Reahg rr ha GRARG!"
'Damnit. This sucks. I can't even walk properly.' I keep trying to turn like normal, or jump over a quick thing darting underfoot. And consequently falling on my fat, green ass. Or face. Or side. Or just sliding onto my stomach like a sledding kid who missed his 'lift.' It was humiliating! I need to get used to being...big. And mad. I had some...rather serious but not TRULY harmful anger built up when a human, but...jesus. I want to kill EVERYTHING. That bird, those fish, that Great Jagras…
…
…
...Wait what? 'A JAGRAS?! Why…' Wait, so that means i'm in the new world...but then, that means...oh fuck. 'Did I eat the hero fifth fleet member meant to kill Zorah, Vaal, Nergigante, and the rest of those Elders?!' Wait, no, that can't be right. Just earlier I saw the coast and there was no sign of any ships. 'Did...Did I kill a member of the first fleet?' I feel that should be an accomplishment, seeing how badass they are, but now I feel even worse. Huh...well shit. At least I'm not AS lost. Now, the real question… 'Could I eat that Jagras? I mean, i'm barely bigger than it but, I'm a Deviljho, how hard could it be?' These things would be my bitch when I got a bit bigger. Hell, once I was fully grown, I would beat other monsters with that shithead. 'Wait...I just imagined what it would be like to use Odogaron as a weapon...ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehahehahehehahehahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! HELL yes! This is gonna be hi-larious when I grow up. Just because I can fuck with people because of it.' Anywho, focus time. 'Jagras, you will be my breakfast!' Alrighty, lets focus. So...It's a Jagras. Fairly quick, but that's about it for strengths. Weak power, low health, not very threatening in general. 'Pfft, I destroyed these things as a human, This will be a damn breeze at worst!' Oh how wrong I was…
-POV Switch-
Green quickly thought of a strategy. And then said, fuck it. Because he was a Deviljho. So, with the normal tact of his species, he loosed a carnal, terrifying roar. The Jagras snapped it's head to him, having been about to devour a small Aptonoth beforehand. Green huffed cockily, and began to saunter forward, his tail flicking as he began to drool a small bit. The Jagras, brave fucker he was, turned and roared right back. It wasn't very intimidating, but it was pretty impressive. And ballsy. Green acknowledged the challenge by lowering his stance, bunching his muscles in preparation for a battle. The Jagras beat him to the punch, scampering forward with its snake-like gait. Green charged straight forward, lowering his maw to duel the Jagras bite for bite. Both beasts collided with a resounding thud and the power clamping of jaws. Green...had missed. The Jagras had halted at the last second, pulling its body upwards and slamming into Green's snout, sending him reeling on instinct, pain, and surprise. The Jagras quickly capitalized, leaping onto Green and biting at his neck while his claws scratched ineffectively against Green's built sides and tough scales. Green growled and quickly came up with a solution most monsters wouldn't think of, he rolled onto his back and stayed there, holding the Yellow fighter in place as it's arms waved and scrambled for purchase to free itself. Thus came the problem, however. Green now couldn't reach it. But, our story is named as such for a reason. So, he pulled his head up, and brought it back down with a mighty crack! The Jagras stopped moving, and Green whimpered a bit in pain. He underestimated himself, despite being quite arrogant. His skull was aching. But the Jagras was dead. Neck snapped, throat crushed, and brain thoroughly turned to paste. Green rolled off of his first query, and shook himself, clearing his head.
Thwuuuummmmppppp.
A colossal step echoed through the forest. Then a second. Then a third. Green looked up, and suddenly felt inconsequential with the sheer size of the monster before him.
Zorah had reached the new world, and with him arrived the Fifth fleet.
'Well,' Green mused, turning back to his about-to-be-meal. 'At least I know where I am in the timeline.' He leaned down and allowed his jaw to sink into the lizard-like creature. His eyes widened, his pupils dilated, because good god it tasted like heaven to him. Any restraint quickly met the proverbial window. And shattered said window. He ripped the chunk out, chewing the warm flesh, savoring it as he swallowed soon after. Green groaned in bliss. The Jagras tasted like a cheeseburger. Green dipped back in, biting the edge of his previous nibble and pulling along the side of the Jagras, pulling a long strip of flesh which he slurped up like a noodle. 'It tastes like an honest to god cheeseburger! God this is almost as good as Mrs. Charendella's homemade ones from the next ranch over!' He thought, diving in and wrenching a large chunk off of the stomach. After eating said large piece, he dove in, and his tongue touched the organs. It was at that point he blacked out. When he awoke, his stomach was bulging in a small bump, and his former foe was naught but a skeleton with a fair bit of meat attached to the lower half of the skeleton that was left over. Being full, green decided that now would be a good time to leave the area, give the scavengers and other small creatures a chance to feed. As he stood, he shook the last vestiges of his hunger-induced-state from his body, humming and stretching. He blinked and an odd scent caught his nose. His eyes flicked left towards its source. And both him and the woman before him froze in surprise when Yellow met Brown. He blinked. She blinked. Both inhaled sharply and slid their feet back a bit.
'...Handler?'
A/N: Clifhanger because I'm as monster as Green is. Byyyeeeeeee. Reviews are life.