Chapter 2
We went on the tour and now we are entering the dining hall.
"Where do you want to sit?" asks Christina, I immediately scan the crowd for Tobias and find him sitting alone at the same table he was last time.
"How about there?" I say, pointing at the spot next to him, Christina shrugs and we walk over.
When we sit down, I pretend that I've never seen a hamburger and Tobias nudges me with his elbow, passing me ketchup.
The conversation follows the same script as last time and I keep getting powerful waves of Deja vu.
When dinner is over, Eric shows us the dorms and I go to find the public shower across from Tobias's apartment. I need to be close to him even if I can't be with him right now.
I think about everything that has happened. I died, I came back to life, I left Tobias, I came back to him, he doesn't know who I am.
I sing a song I learned at the Beuro that makes me think about Tobias and how I left him.
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking When the morning comes Then only for a minute Know that means I'll have to leave When the evening falls Then only for a minute Know that means I'll have to leave So I'll go, I'll go Lately, I've been, I've been thinking Then only for a minute (Only for a minute) Know that means I'll have to leave So I'll go, I'll go
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
When we see what we've become
In the cold light of day, we're a flame in the wind
Not the fire that we've begun
Every argument, every word we can't take back
'Cause with all that has happened
I think that we both know the way that this story ends
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me
I wanna raise your spirits
I want to see you smile but
Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
And I'm left there with my thoughts
And the image of you being with someone else
Well, it's eating me up inside
But we ran our course, we pretended we're okay
Now if we jump together, at least we can swim
Far away from the wreck we made
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me
I wanna raise your spirits
I want to see you smile
Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
I will go, go, go
So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
Even though I might not like this
I think that you'll be happier, I want you to be happier
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me (Right to me)
I wanna raise your spirits (Wanna raise your spirits)
I want to see you smile but
Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
I will go, go, go
When I finish the song I have tears streaming down my face, "I love you, Tobias. I'm sorry I left you." I say to myself.
I get out and dry off, my eyes puffy, only to realize I was not the only person listening to my singing.
"To- Four!" I yell in surprise when I open the door, he smirks a little but you wouldn't have been able to see it if you didn't know him like I do.
"Hello, Tris. You have a beautiful voice," he says and I see the hint of color in his face while I must look like a strawberry.
"Did you hear what I said when I said finished singing?" I ask and he shook his head. I sighed in relief.
"So, what are you doing in the shower across from my apartment?" he asks and I blush a little more. Think of a good lie!
"I had no idea your apartment is here. I came here to shower, some of the initiates are not nice people to be around," I say and it's true, but that's no the reason I came here. Tobias leans in closer, I want to pull him to me and kiss him with a passion, make him mine again.
"Maybe you were cut out from Candor, Tris, because you're a terrible liar." and with that, he walks off, back to his apartment.
I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and quickly walk back to the dorms.