Chapter 2: The Plan
I wrenched my eyes open, struggling to breathe and quickly reached my hands to my throat, no blood and it didn't burn like it had in my dream. It was all too familiar: Edward holding me close; telling me it will be ok. Then, as he caressed my cheek, he would gently slide his cold lips along my throat. I would never remember the bite, just the burning...always the burning. The dream visited me more often, probably because the time for my transformation was steadily creeping closer.
I looked around me, where was I? I was sitting in a medium sized bed that overtook the miniscule room and the homemade quilt lay bunched up at my feet. I could see my reflection in the mirror that was perched on the wall directly across from me and a little lamp sat on the bedside table. Everything was made of wood, the bed, the nightstand and even the lamp. No sun shown through the yellow lace curtains near my head. I had obviously been placed here during my sleep because I had no memory of what had happened. The last thing I recalled was Edward's face, his beautiful eyes filled with anguish, watching as I was stolen from him. And then Jacob's steady pace as he made off with his prize.
"Bella"
I turned my head ever so slightly in the direction of his voice.
"Bella, can we talk?" Jacob asked, he sounded sincere.
"There is nothing to talk about" I said icily
He ignored me and continued. "You have to understand, it was for your own good." He said, stepping into the small room, making it smaller.
I jumped up from the bed, and I was now about four feet from him. I could feel the heat radiating from his body. "My own good? Since when do you decide what is good for me, Jacob?" I almost felt bad felt bad for saying that, but then again, why should I, especially after what he had done.
Ignoring me once again, and taking no notice in my anger, he proceeded. "I couldn't let you go through with the wedding knowing what was coming afterwards." He grabbed my hand, but when I struggled he only held it tighter, and pulled me over to the bed which wasn't very far, and sat me beside him. "While I was alone, I had time to think. I tried very hard not to think of you. I tried to block out memories that involved you." His words were careful. "But sometimes I invited them, knowing that the pain was worth it to remember your smile."
"Jacob, stop it." I had to remind myself that I was furious with him.
"Bella please let me finish." He insisted, his chocolate eyes met mine and they looked sad, apologetic.
I didn't say anything and shifted my gaze to lace on the windows.
"Well, like I said, I had a lot of time to think while I was away. One day, I permitted myself to think about you. I tried to picture you as one of them" malevolence filled the last words and he went on. "I tried to tell myself it would be okay. But I couldn't. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got, I felt out of control. To know you were to become something that I hate, you were going to become cold and lifeless...a murderer." That's when I lost it, he had gone too far.
"Jacob, I am not a murderer!" My eyes flashed to his.
"No...but you will be." He whispered and he lowered his gaze.
I could see where this was going, because I too worried about the uncontrollable thirst that I had heard about in the first few years of being a new born. It was not too long ago I had seen for myself what they were talking about.
"How could you?!" I tried to change the direction that this conversation had led to.
" I thought I just explained it." His face was confused, but he had regained his composure.
"Yes, but Charlie? How could you?!" The anger was flooding back and I'm sure my face showed it. Good. I didn't have room for any another emotions, let alone want any.
"Bella, I would never hurt Charlie." He said it as if I should have known it already.
"Then what were you doing, inviting him for tea?" Annoyance and sarcasm colored my voice.
" I had to do something so that bloodsucker would let you come with me." He winked. Did he think this was funny? I couldn't believe it; he obviously thought he had been clever.
"Jacob, that was unnecessary." My voice rose with anger.
"Face it Bella, would you have come with me otherwise?" he prodded, and I could feel his eyes examining my face.
"Of course not." I said while shaking my head.
"Then it was necessary" he finalized.
Just then, Leah walked by the room, her eyes flashed to our intertwined fingers, she gave a loud sigh and strode away. I had forgotten about our hands, and only just realized the third degree burn I would get if I kept it near his for much longer. I gently slid my hand from his grasp. It surprised me when he didn't grip it tighter, I was expecting a struggle.
"Where are we?" I finally asked not looking at him.
"Oh, we're still in La Push." Changing the subject he said, "So, what would you like to do today?"
"What do you mean?" confusion coated my voice. Was he not taking me home? Of course not, especially after all the trouble he had faced to get me, I immediately felt stupid for even thinking that.
"We can do anything you want. How about cliff diving?" he suggested with a slight smile. "I promised I'd take you, remember?" Yes, I remember. Remembered it all too well, actually. How could I have been so stupid? I should have never attempted that myself. However, it had brought Edward back to me, so it couldn't have been that bad of a decision, could it?
I had to force my mind out of its reverie and back the current issues before me. I couldn't believe he was asking me this, did he not remember what he had just done not even a day ago? I looked at him with unbelieving eyes and said, "Jacob, are you serious? I'm not going with you. Just please leave me alone." I explained, his eyes were filled with hurt but his smile remained on his face. "We're going" he said. And that was the end of the conversation. I decided not to fight anymore; maybe this was my chance to get away. I don't know how far I would get, but I knew I would have to try. I knew my way from the cliff to Billy's house, if I could just get there to use the phone I could call Edward and tell him where I was. I knew he would be watching me though, so I would have to be quick. The more I thought my plan through, the sillier it sounded. A wave of doubt shivered up my spine. How far did I think I could get without him catching up or worse, when my clumsiness got in the way, - as it always did- what would I do then? I shoved the doubt out of my mind and focused on the positive: making it back to Edward. At that moment, that is all that mattered, getting to see his face, that is what my heart longed for.
We were to head up there at noon which was only a half hour away. He looked down at me, eyeing me furtively. "What is it?" I was a little self-conscious now, and I looked down to see what he was staring at. I had forgotten that I still had my wedding dress on. It was a mess. A blanket of dirt and Jacob's fur hid the true color of the gown. It was ruined. I let out a low sigh and a grumble, so much for the perfect dress. "Here," he said while taking a pair of jeans and a shirt from beside him and handing it to me. "They're Leah's, I'm sure she won't mind."
"I'm sure she will" I thought to myself, but I took them anyway. They were a bit too long and too wide, but nothing unmanageable. Ducking as he went through the doorway, he left the room, leaving me with nothing but Leah's clothes and my thoughts.
While I grudgingly got dressed, I began to think about what had happened. He had not given me time to really process the damage he had done. He had ruined my wedding, which was inexcusable, but somehow -deep down- I knew I had to forgive. I had forgiven him so many times before but this time was different. I deliberated this while struggling to get my leg into Leah's pants. Then my thoughts took a different route. Would a friend really do that the one another? I assumed that what he did was for love. I knew he loved me and wanted to protect me, and if that meant ruining the happiest day of my life, I guess he would do it. "But why my wedding?" I asked myself again as if the answer would change. "Could he not have kidnapped me before?" My anger began to creep back up on me now while what happened began to sink in all the while leaving unhealable scars. I could not forgive him, no matter what he said or how sorry he was, this is something that was simply unforgivable. He knew it would hurt me, yet, he did it anyway. He was a selfish friend, if I could even call him that anymore. I took one last look at myself in the mirror. The deep forest green of the shirt stood out against my skin, and I had to keep rolling up the sleeves because they persisted to cover my hands. As I went to the door I tripped over my pants, almost falling headfirst into the wall, but caught myself on the bedpost. The jeans went past my feet, and had to be rolled up as well, I never realized Leah was so tall.
After everything was carefully tucked in and rolled, I opened the little wooden door of the room that contained me and walked aimlessly down the hall. I didn't know where I was going, but decided to just follow the path that lead straight. It guided me into a small yellow kitchen with a tiny round table plopped dead center in the middle. Jacob sat on the farthest chair and looked up at me. The chair looked like it was about the crumble beneath the weight of its occupant. He suddenly leapt up and dashed out the back, beckoning me to follow him. I gave out a sigh and stomped out the screen door, slamming it behind me.
My eyes got large when I saw him, "Jake no." I said, my tone serious. Why did he insist on acting like this? He let out a playful growl and nudged me with his cold nose. "No." I repeated. He obviously didn't like that answer because he put his giant furry head down on my backside and slung me onto his back. He did this so fast, I didn't even have time to object. I landed on my stomach facing the wrong way, and had to maneuver myself so I would be facing the same direction as he was. It was not an easy thing to do because his tail insisted on hitting my face and the bumpiness of the ride was not helping me. When I finally managed to get myself turned around, we had stopped. He kneeled down on his paws and let me gently slide to the safety of solid ground. I looked around; this was the exact place that I had jumped. It seemed like it was a million years ago. I didn't even notice that Jake had disappeared until I saw him returning from behind a tree, clothed in nothing but a pair of worn blue jeans.
"Ok" he breathed. "Are you ready?" "Jake, I told you I'm not doing this. Just because you forced me here against my will doesn't mean I'm going to cooperate." He didn't seem at all bothered by this news. I guess he was trying to return things to the way they were before, but he didn't seem to realize that could and would probably never happen. "I see...you're scared." He chucked, shoving me playfully. "That's alright. Would you like me to go first?" he asked, looking at me. I didn't meet his eyes, afraid they would betray me and my plans to escape. I thought about his question. If he went first, this would give me time to at hide. Then, when he came back up, he would notice that I was gone, and look for me. While he was searching, that is when I would make my run for Billy. What about my scent? I thought. Then I remembered I had borrowed Leah's clothing, it should keep him confused for a little while, and maybe it would bide me just enough time to make it to my destination. This had worked out perfectly.
"Well?" he asked, scrutinizing my face, looking for any changes in my expression. "Yes, that would be fine." I tried to make my voice sound light, but still avoided his eyes. "Alright" His voice sounded eager as he walked toward the side of the cliff. He positioned himself carefully on the ledge, his toes dangling over the side. With one fluid movement, he flung himself gracefully from the rock.
"Now!" I thought to myself. I quickly spun around to face the forest behind me, almost too fast because I stumbled a bit. I ran as fast as I could, careful not to fall, I could not leave behind blood. I saw a large Spruce tree, and decided it was safe enough to take cover. Trying to regain my breath and keep it low at the same time, I peeked around the tree's large prickly needles, and tried to see if Jacob had returned. I couldn't see anything except the green that surrounded me. But then, I saw a huge figure with russet fur emerge into the forest. Had he found me already? I was prepared to give up when suddenly, I saw white figure flash from the woods and run directly into Jacob. He let out a loud howl of pain. I could hear the ferocious snapping of teeth and menacing snarls erupting from the brawl. Fur and flashes of pallid skin were the only things I could decipher from the gruesome fight taking place before me. Despite all my anger toward him I could not help but panic. And at that moment, all I could think was...not Jacob.