Chapter Two - Severus' Mission
Severus Snape, Potions master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was a very private man who preferred to work on his life's work of potions than go out and socialize. He preferred keeping to himself. Especially, since he was acting as a double agent for Albus Dumbledore by spying on the Dark Lord. It was a pretty important position, for Severus was also acting as a spy for the Dark Lord. The very fact that he had to keep his true loyalties a secret to the Dark Lord, was a pretty good reason to why Severus Snape didn't bother forming relationships outside of Hogwarts and the Order. He couldn't trust anyone to keep their mouths shut. So Severus often spent the summer holidays, and every other holiday during the year alone. Severus in fact enjoyed his lifestyle. When he wasn't on a mission for Dumbledore or in a meeting with the Dark Lord during the holidays, he often spent his free time brewing and doing research on his own potions that he created.
After a long day of brewing potions for Madam Pomfrey's potion store for the next school year, Severus had retired to a cup of tea and a potions book. He was just starting to read the first line when his fireplace glowed green and the face of Albus Dumbledore appeared in the green flames.
"And what do I owe the pleasure for a social call at this time of hour?" Severus drawled as he reluctantly put down his book.
"Severus, how have you been fairing this summer? I hope your enjoying your holidays."
"If I could call it a holiday!" he snapped. "Skip the pleasantries, Albus, and indulge me on the details for my next useless mission for the Order."
"Ah, Severus, let's hope this one is useless and Petunia is worried over nothing," he said somberly. The twinkling in Albus' blue eyes disappeared.
"Petunia?" Severus echoed the name in confusion. "Petunia as in Lily's..?"
"Yes Lily's sister and the guardian of Harry Potter."
"What's wrong with the Potter brat now? Is he not getting enough attention from his fan club?" Severus rolled his eyes, covering up the tiny spark of concern for the boy, then pushing it away immediately, as the image of the insolent Potter brat's face popped into his mind.
"I have just received word from Petunia Dursley. She claims that Harry is not taking the death of his godfather well. She has mentioned that he is having nightmares every night since the beginning of the summer holidays. He doesn't eat and she found cuts, Severus..."
"What do you mean cuts?"
"I don't want to make assumptions, but Petunia had written that they look like they are cuts due to self-harm. And if we don't do something to help, she fears for her nephew's life," Albus said in a solemn tone.
"And you want me to do what? Albus, are you sure the boy isn't throwing one of his infamous tantrums?" Severus asked slowly. He had an idea where the headmaster was heading.
"I'm unable to check on Harry myself. I'm in the middle of a personal mission. I would really appreciate it if you can check on the boy for me and make sure he is okay. If you think that he isn't safe there for any reasons, take him to Hogwarts. I know this might affect the wards placed on him but if Petunia still considers that Harry has a home with her, then that shouldn't be a problem."
Severus sighed. He knew he couldn't say no to the headmaster, especially since Albus had done so much for him in the past. Severus just couldn't stand the thought of being the person to check on the boy. Who was going to watch Potter? Not himself surly? Severus had better things to do than babysit this summer.
"If I bring Potter back, then what am I to do with him until you return?" Severus asked.
"He is to reside in your quarters where he will be safe, Severus. I can't thank you enough."
His worst fears confirmed, Severus scowled in annoyance at the headmaster.
"Are you sure there is no one else fit for this mission?" Severus asked. "What about the Weasleys or the wolf?"
"Remus is out on a mission at this moment and the wards around Hogwarts are stronger than the Burrow. Voldemort is more powerful than ever. We can't take no chances on relying on the wards that are placed on the Burrow, when the wards on Hogwarts are so much stronger."
Severus sighed loudly again and pinched his nose in frustration, "okay, Albus, I'll do it. I'll check on Potter first thing tomorrow morning."
"Don't sound so glum about this, Severus, it can be nothing after all. But if not, and Potter does end up coming back with you, maybe it's for the best. It would be wonderful if you can use the time to work on your differences with one another," Albus chuckled merrily at the scowl Severus let out. Then he disappeared, causing the flames in Severus' fireplace to turn back to the orange and red flames once more.
"You little freak!" Uncle Vernon yelled as he punched his nephew hard in the stomach, causing Harry to double over and gag.
"I told you to finish up this list before I come home from work and you've only done half!"
Harry still gaging, choked out, "I did them as fast as I could, but it was too much! No one can finish all of that in one day!"
"Don't you dare talk back to me, boy! I'll show you! You lazy little…," Uncle Vernon didn't finish his sentence. For his fury rose so high all he could do was push Harry against the wall and choke him.
Harry gasped and try to claw his uncle's meaty hands off him, but it was no use. Uncle Vernon was too strong. Harry gasped for air. His vision clouded with dark spots.
And then it came to him...
Maybe, it wouldn't be that bad if this was how he died...
Harry had nothing to live for anyway. Dumbledore can find a new hero. Neville would probably do a better job than him anyway. Especially since Harry screwed up so badly at the Ministry at the end of fifth year, resulting in countless injuries to his classmates and Sirius' death.
I can see Sirius again and my parents...
Suddenly Harry was falling to the floor. The air whooshed back into his lungs as he inhaled and exhaled loudly. Uncle Vernon gave him one hard kick in the ribs before shouting, "go to your room, boy!" and stomped off to the living room.
Harry laid there for a couple of seconds, trying to gain control of his breathing.
It hurt so much to breathe!
The left side of his ribs where Uncle Vernon had kicked him were screaming in pain. Harry was surprised that Uncle Vernon had let go so quickly. Maybe he realized that Harry had stopped fighting. Uncle Vernon was always determine to make sure Harry received nothing he truly wanted, maybe even death.
Harry stood up and shakily climbed up the stairs to his room. He laid down on his bed, not even pausing to examine his new bruises or his neck or even his bruised ribs. He didn't care at all for anything anymore. He just wanted to sleep and forget.
Harry was dozing off when he heard his door open. He was too tired to open his eyes to see who it was. He flinched when he felt a soft hand lay on his forehead.
"Shh, Harry, it's alright. It's just me," Aunt Petunia whispered.
She laid down a bowl of soup and a glass of water with some aspirin on his night table.
"Eat this now, before he comes in and sees this."
Harry opened his eyes and took the aspirin, swallowing it down with a glass of water.
"You don't have to do this you know," he muttered as he stirred his spoon around in the bowl of soup. He didn't really have much of an appetite. Harry couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten.
"Yes I do, Harry," Aunt Petunia frowned, as Harry placed the bowl of soup on his night table. He was slightly embarrassed for his meltdown last night. His aunt probably saw him as a pathetic kid now.
The fact that Aunt Petunia was acting like she cared all of sudden, after years of neglect and dislike, bothered Harry once more. He found himself blurting out in a raspy voice due to just being choked minutes ago. "But why now? Why now, when you could had treated me better as soon as I first came into this house."
Aunt Petunia frowned as Harry watched her gather her thoughts. She sighed in defeat and said, "I was young, Harry, and full of anger and resentment. And then when I found out about your mother's death, I didn't allow myself to grieve. I choose to be angry. Until it came to the point where I couldn't look at you because you reminded me of her every day, not just because of your eyes but by the way you fight. Harry, Lily was a fighter and she stood up to her beliefs. You got that from her, along with her good heart and compassion. I've had a lot of time to think and now seeing you suffer is breaking my heart. I often wonder what your mother would say to me if she knew how Vernon and I raised you. I wouldn't be surprised if she never forgave me. I know I shouldn't try and redeem myself for what I've done, because I know I don't deserve a second chance or your forgiveness. But now I'm trying to set things right. Harry, you'll always be family, no matter how Vernon and even Dudley says you're not. Just know that with me, you'll always have a home."
Harry gapped at Aunt Petunia's confession before anger took over.
"If I'm family and you're trying to set things right, then why do you let Uncle Vernon hit me? Why do you just look away while I'm getting the stuffing beaten out of me? He was bloody choking me today and where were you?!" he shouted, not even bothering to hide the hurt he was feeling.
"Harry, please understand that I can never be as strong as Lily, and with Vernon... I have to pick my battles. If I stood up to him…." Aunt Petunia shuddered at the thought of her husband's anger.
Harry glared at her. He understood. He completely understood that Aunt Petunia cared for him, but not enough to stop her husband from beating him. As always, her first priority was Dudley and herself. Harry knew it was too good to be true to think that his aunt had a complete change of heart. Harry felt so stupid to believe her. And he realized that he can never trust an adult again, especially one who cares for him, because they'll either leave him or they don't care as much as they say they do.
"Harry…," Aunt Petunia said in an apologetic tone. She was about to touch his shoulder, as if to comfort him, but Harry flinched away. He scooted far away from her, laid back down on his bed and covered himself with his blanket.
"I'm tired, Aunt Petunia," he muttered.
He ignored his aunt's apologies, closing his eyes and trying not to cry. A lump formed in his throat. Making it hard to breathe due to the fact that his neck and throat was still sore from his uncle's hands. His ribs hurt and felt so tender, that he wondered if they were broken from Uncle Vernon's kick.
Harry couldn't understand why he was feeling so upset about what Aunt Petunia had said. After all, he was supposed to be used to not being cared for in her house. His aunt's footsteps was the last thing he heard, before he dozed off into a fitful sleep.
"No," Harry mumbled in his sleep.
Sirius was laughing, he was laughing and Bellatrix took her chance.
"Avada Kedrava!" she shouted.
Green light blinded Harry and Sirius' laughter was gone.
"No!" Harry screamed.
Cruel laughter filled the room with the veil. It was echoing off the walls.
Voldemort...
Fear filled every inch of his body...
"Sirius!" Harry shouted.
He sat up in bed drenched in sweat. His vision blurry since his glasses were on the night table. A cool hand touched his arm and Harry flinched back in surprise and fear.
"Lumos," a soft voice whispered. A bright light illuminated Harry's room.
Harry grabbed his glasses and put them on. His mouth dropped open in surprise. He was sure he was still dreaming, for the person standing in his bedroom was none other than his Potions Professor Severus Snape.
"Snape?" he hissed. "What are you doing here?!"
He pulled his wand out from under his mattress, ready to defend himself if needed. He knew Dumbledore trusted Snape but Harry had every right to not trust the snake.
"Put your wand away, Potter! And it's Professor Snape or sir to you! Look at you, already disrespecting your elders!" Snape hissed. "I was sent by Professor Dumbledore to check on you. And seeing that you're shouting in your sleep, maybe he was right to send me!" he snapped impatiently. His black eyes glittering coldly in the wand light.
Hoping the Dursleys were still asleep, Harry reached over and flicked on his lamp. He inwardly groaned from the pain in his ribs. It seemed as if they had gotten worse while he was asleep.
"What time is it?" was the only thing Harry can think of, besides the whirlpool of questions going on inside his head. Why did Dumbledore decide to send someone to check on him now all of sudden? And why did it have to be Snape? Hagrid or one of the Weasleys were perfectly capable of completing the task but Snape?!
"Of all the things to ask you insolent boy," Snape hissed as he rolled his eyes. "Its 5am and you have an hour to explain yourself!"
"I have to explain myself? Bloody hell!" Harry gritted his teeth at the sharp pain his exclamation caused him. He really couldn't breathe without irritating his bruised ribs. Luckily, Snape was too busy yelling to have noticed it.
"Language, Potter!"
"Why did Professor Dumbledore sent you?" Harry couldn't help but ask.
"Like I said, he sent me to check up on you."
"Yes, but why? He's never done something like this, unless to pick me up, but to simply just check on me? He usually has Aurors trailing around and keeping watch for Death Eaters outside."
"I was sent here to check on you because the headmaster has received a very worrisome letter from your aunt. He is too busy doing far more important things for the Order than to be bothered by some bothersome child!" Snape hissed in annoyance. "Now explain yourself, Potter!"
Harry could only stare at his professor.
Aunt Petunia sent Dumbledore a letter?
"What did she say to him?" Harry asked. His shock was written clearly all over his face.
"You're more of an idiot than I thought if you don't already know!" Snape snapped in annoyance.
Harry only glared at him, stubbornly waiting for Snape to answer to his questions.
"If you're not going to explain yourself, I see no reason in staying here any longer, completely assuming that your aunt has nothing to worry about," Snape announced as he prepared to leave.
Harry then realized he was costing his only chance of leaving this place for the summer.
Maybe Snape will take me to the Weasleys!
"I'm guessing Aunt Petunia told Professor Dumbledore how I've been taking Sirius' death?" he muttered in a low voice. He can feel his face flushing in embarrassment. Seriously of all people it had to be Snape!
Severus was becoming more annoyed by the second.
This brat seems okay! To hell with Albus and his concerns! It's obvious Potter is just trying to gain attention! The attention-seeking brat, exactly like his father!
He was just about to leave when he noticed the pain in Potter's voice as he spoke. Severus turned around to look at him. The boy was frowning, looking down at his hands. Potter's green eyes behind his glasses were dark, showing an internal battle the boy seemed to be having with himself. It looked as if he were torn between keeping everything to himself, and explaining his problems with his least favorite professor.
Maybe there is something to be concerned about….
"Bloody…," Severus cursed in annoyance, swearing to himself that Albus Dumbledore was going to be the death of him one day. He pulled up Potter's desk chair so that it faced the boy, taking a seat, while Potter stared at him with wide green eyes.
So much like her eyes...
Severus decided to look away and not think about Lily at all.
"Why don't you start with the nightmares you've been having, Potter," Severus said stiffly. Showing the boy that he would rather be doing something else than listen to his teenage angst.
"Can't you just tell Professor Dumbledore that I'm not doing well here and take me to the Weasleys? Do we have to do this whole talking thing?" Harry complained in horror when he realized that Snape was expecting him to start talking about his nightmares and feelings.
"Potter, for the love of Merlin! I'm just following the headmaster's orders! I know you think you are above anyone's orders and too arrogant to follow rules to respect your professors. I know this is uncomfortable, but for once, just do as I say, and not make it more unpleasantly painful for the both of us!"
Harry glared at Snape. Hatred for the man raged through him. Why should he even tell Snape what his nightmares have been about? How he was forced to watch Sirius die over and over. The man wouldn't understand! No one did least of all Snape, who didn't even want to listen!
"No! Why should I tell you! You don't care at all! You hated Sirius!" Harry forced himself to not clutch at his ribs when he shouted. He didn't want Snape to see how much pain he was in. It was obvious the man didn't know about Uncle Vernon's punishments and Harry wanted it to stay that way.
"Calm down, Potter, before you wake the muggles!" Severus snapped. "I can honestly feel a headache starting to take place due to your attitude!"
He uttered a silencing spell around the room. "I'm surprised those infernal muggles haven't woken up due to all of your ruckus!"
"No, you hated him! You hated Sirius! You hated my dad and you hate me! You don't even know anything about me!" Harry shouted. He gasped painfully for air. Now that he was shouting, he couldn't stop. And now everything, all the pain, guilt, grief and anger that he had been holding inside, uncontrollably spilled out.
"Since day one, you've hated me! So why should I talk to you? You don't even want to be here! It's obvious you're being forced by Professor Dumbledore to be here! So just take me to the Weasleys and save yourself the trouble!"
"Believe me, Potter, If I could, I would in a heartbeat! I'm not going to repeat myself to an arrogant swine, just like your father! Now tell me about your bloody nightmare or so help me I'm go..!"
"Or you're going to what?" Harry shouted, cutting off Snape in the middle of his rant. "Are you going to curse me? Go ahead. Finish what Voldemort's started! Like I bloody care anymore whatever I live or die!"
Severus stared at him in disbelief.
Did Potter really mean that? Or did he just say that because he is so angry, he can't control his mouth?
Suddenly all of Severus' anger vanished. This boy must be really taking his godfather's death pretty badly. Either that or the stress of the prophecy was too heavy for him to bear, causing the boy to break. The boy had deeper problems than he thought. And what was worse, was that Petunia's suspicions about the self-harm was most likely to be true.
"Do you really consider ending your own life, Potter?" he asked softly.
It was quiet for a few moments. So quiet and the air so full of tension, that Severus almost missed the small voice coming from the child.
"Sometimes…."
Severus sighed and covered his face with his hands.
I guess this qualifies as a reason to take Potter back with me, since he's trying to gain everyone's attention by being suicidal of all the things... Bloody hell!
"Show me your arms, Potter," Severus ordered in a slow menacing voice, showing the boy that there will be consequences if he didn't do what he was told.
Potter sighed in defeat, as if he was thinking there was no point in hiding it anymore.
He got out of bed and stood in front of Severus, glaring at him with raging green eyes as he held out his arm.
Severus lifted up his sleeve, frowning at the long healing cuts along the underarm of Potter's left arm. Some were small, some long and looking as if they were pretty deep. Along the skin were crissed-crossed scars, some looked old, some looked fresh. Severus couldn't believe the boy would stoop this low. The sight of these self-inflicted cuts melted away the ice in his heart, allowing Severus to see that the boy wasn't doing this for attention. Potter truly needed help. Severus now understood why Petunia was so worried. If the boy went too far one day, he can kill himself. And Severus doubted it wasn't going to be any longer, considering what the boy had recently shouted at him moments ago.
Severus drew his wand over the boy's arm and whispered a healing spell over the opened cuts, turning them into freshly healed scars. When he was done, he let go of Potter's arm and asked in his most sincere voice, "why do you this to yourself, Potter?"
The boy looked away. His face red with embarrassment and shame and Severus knew he wasn't going to get an answer.
"Fine, if you won't answer me, then you'll have to answer to your headmaster. This leaves me no choice. I'll have to take you back with me. This is exactly what Professor Dumbledore was afraid of." The anger and hate was gone from Severus' voice. Only to be replaced with compassion for the student he has hated for almost six years.
"Am I going to the Weasleys?" Potter asked hopefully as he pulled his sleeves back down, covering up his scars once more.
"No, I'm to take you to Hogwarts. Now start packing up your trunk," Severus answered. He decided to leave out the part where the boy was going to reside in his living quarters. He was sure if he did, Potter would absolutely refuse to go with him and the brat was quite stubborn.
Potter looked crestfallen for a moment at the knowledge that he wouldn't be heading to the Burrow, before he muttered, "Sir?"
"Yes, Potter?" Severus scowled.
Seriously, the boy can't follow one simple task!
"My trunk is locked away under the stairs in my old cupboard."
"Your old cupboard?" Severus asked. "Care to explain, Potter?"
"It was where I slept up until my first year at Hogwarts." Potter said it so calmly, as if sleeping in a broom cupboard were quite normal for children.
"What are you talking about?" Severus was so confused to why Potter was suddenly saying he used to sleep inside an old broom cupboard. Albus only mentioned that Potter was harming himself, nothing else that might be going wrong in the Dursley household.
Severus glared closely at Potter, who was looking anywhere but at him. He then noticed for the first time, the hand-shaped bruises around his neck.
Don't tell me that that they abuse him…, Severus realized.
"How did you get those bruises on your neck?" Severus snapped without intending too.
The boy gaped at him, lost for words at the sudden question.
"Answer me, Potter! Did your uncle do this to you?" Severus snapped again, as he placed his hand on Potter's chin, forcing him to look up at him but it only caused the boy to flinch away.
"I ...I... don't want to talk about it," Potter muttered.
That gave all the proof Severus needed.
Those worthless bloody muggles! Severus thought as he frowned at the boy. His lips forming a thin line of disapproval as he fought to hold in the rage at what he just found out.
"Stay here," Severus muttered as he opened the door to Potter's room and crept quietly down the stairs to not wake up the muggles.
He whispered, "Alohomora," unlocking the bolts and chains on the cupboard door. Severus still couldn't believe what Potter had said. How can anyone can allow a child to sleep in a cupboard was beyond him.
As much as Severus hated the boy, Potter didn't deserve that. What upset Severus the most, was that he never knew Potter was being abused at home. Sure he heard the boy complain about his relatives occasionally during term at Hogwarts, but he always assumed Potter was just being ungrateful and spoiled. All teenagers complained about their parents. But Severus never knew, never noticed the signs. And the part that made Severus angrier was that Albus surly must had known. He must had known about Potter's home life. Albus was the one who sent the boy there and had Mrs. Figg watch him, surely she must had noticed the abuse and informed the headmaster.
Severus frowned as he opened the cupboard door. He couldn't help but think of another boy who was mistreated and abused by the person who was supposed to love him and protect him. Severus pushed away the familiar emotions that came up every time he thought about his past and forced himself to focus on the task at hand, which was collecting Potter's trunk and getting the hell out of here before he lost control and cursed the filthy muggles.
The cupboard was so small and dusty as he pulled out Potter's trunk. Severus swore that he saw a bunch of spiders crawl away into the shadows. He tried not to imagine Potter as a small child on that folded up cot, laying in pain with no one but spiders to comfort him. On the small shelves, Severus noticed the little toy soldiers, broken and worn out. No doubt they were second hand toys that have most likely been tossed aside by Potter's cousin.
Next to the broken toys were old papers with a child's drawings on them. Without thinking about it, Severus grabbed the old artwork and stuffed it into the inside pocket of his robes. Without pausing, Severus closed the cupboard door and levitated the trunk upstairs back to Potter's bedroom.
Once Severus reached the top of the staircase, to his utter surprise, he was confronted by Petunia Dursley. She had on her pink bathrobe and her blonde hair was pulled up in a neat bun. Her arms were crossed and her mouth was shaped in a thin frown. Severus almost didn't recognize the woman. The last time he saw Petunia Dursley was when they were teenagers. She was Petunia Evans than. She hadn't even gone to Lily's funeral.
"Of all people, I didn't expect that headmaster of yours to send you to pick up Harry," she snapped. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I can see you've finally grown a decent height, Snape."
"It's a pleasure seeing you too," Snape sneered at her. He was giving everything he had to not pull out his wand and threaten the woman who was supposed to be responsible for Potter's well-being.
"Lily would have been disappointed in you if she knew what you and your poor excuse for a muggle husband did to her child!" he hissed. He fought harder to control his rage for the abuse Potter had suffered.
"What if I forbid you from taking, Harry!" she snapped in anger, ignoring what Severus told her. "When I wrote to the headmaster, I asked him to pick Harry up! Not you! If you take him and I refuse, then you are committing kidnapping!"
"Don't be stupid, Dursley! You had your chance with raising the boy right and you failed. Now get out of my way! Your empty threat means nothing to me," Snape growled.
Petunia could see the man tightening his hold around his wand. She glared at the man she once knew as a child. She had hated him ever since they met in that playground. When he took Lily away from her. Resentment clouded Petunia's blue eyes. Why should she entrust her nephew's care to the hands of this man? Why should she let him take off with her sister's only child?
As hard as it was to admit though, Petunia knew why...
She knew Lily and Severus were best friends. Her sister loved this man standing right in front of Petunia. Lily saw the good in everyone and she obviously saw something in Snape, so why couldn't she see it too?
She stepped aside and let Snape pass through her. Maybe entrusting Lily's son to the man who was her best friend will redeem Petunia and her crimes. It was the least she can do for her sister after the hard childhood she gave to Harry.
She followed the man inside Harry's room and saw that the boy was ready to go. She wasn't sure if he was going to come back next summer. For Harry's safety she hoped he didn't, but for own selfish reasons, she hoped Harry will return. Now that she was trying to change, she wanted to truly get to know her nephew, and see the person he has grown up to be.
Severus finished explaining to Potter about the Portkey that was going to activate in five minutes. Potter was double checking that he had everything when Severus noticed that Petunia had followed him inside the room. He chose to pretend he wasn't paying attention, busying himself by shrinking Potter's trunk as Petunia hugged Potter and said, "You don't have to come back, Harry, you're not obligated if you do not want too and I perfectly understand if this is the last time I see you. Again, I am truly sorry for what I have done to you. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but just know that you are always welcomed back by me, no matter what happens. I hope that when you go the wards will still hold, keeping you safe from the wizard that killed your parents. That's the least I can do after everything," she said to the boy who looked surprised at his aunt's behavior.
Severus wondered if this was the first time Petunia had said something nice to the boy. He decided not to ask. Potter will be able to talk about his home life when he was ready. At least the boy would still be protected by the blood wards and he mentally reminded himself to inform this to Albus when he got the chance.
Petunia gave Potter who looked uncomfortable at the attention, another small hug when Severus interrupted them by saying, "it's time, Potter."
Harry held Hedwig's cage close to his chest and put his hand on the Portkey. The last thing he saw before leaving number four Privet Drive was his room and his aunts' teary face before he was pulled from his naval and whisked away to Hogwarts.
A/N: Whew nine pages! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please tell me what you think. =)