one year...one whole year since kendall stepped into that limo and drove away with my heart. one whole year since my life changed forever. i blame kendall for everything thats gone wrong in the last year. this wasn't our destined path, this wasnt what our grandmothers planned and thats why nothing but chaos has been happening this last year. It was only a month after kendall left that my parents announced that they were going through with a trial speration. it was hard on our family, dad left town a week later with on of his co-workers. kendall was very supportive the first few months, always called when i need him. he even flew back home for the weekend just because i couldnt handle it all anymore and i need his arms around me to make it feel normal again.

when kendall returned to L.A thats when our relationship started to change. we went from calling or texting all the time, to me getting a call or text from him once a week. then it dwindled down to once a month and now i just get updates from mom when she talked to jen every now and then. i knew i was losing him so i decided to end things, it was like he didnt even care. the memory of that day replays in my mind every single day...

"aye kam, sup with you?" he said as he picked up the phone. i took a deep breath, my best friend leighann whispering to me i can do this.

"ken we need to talk about us." i felt the tears start to come and i quickly wiped them away.

"ya i think we do" i heard someone in the background, sounded like a girl, "hold on a sec kam." then i heard what sounded like a kiss and a door shut. i started to lose it. i knew he was cheating on me i just knew it. " sorry bout that mom was headin to the store. now what about us do you need to talk about?"

"i..i think we need to end things kendall. we hardly talk anymore, this distance is killing us. its like i dont even know you anymore. " i held my breath. i didnt know how he was going to react.

"yea, i agree ive been to busy with all this going on. but we still will remain friends, and we'll still be in each others lives but i got to get to the studio, so ill text you later, bye kam love ya." then i heard a click.

"bye kenny ill love you forever..." and thats when i completely broke down.

But back to the presant, since the break up ive talked to kendall three times. once on my birthday and once on each of the aniversary of our grandmothers deaths. it gets harder for me every day to accept the fact i lost my one true love, i lost my grandmothers, but most of all i lost my family. its not the same. i want to be nine years old again, bbqs every saturday the whole family got together, everything was perfect. nobody fought, love was the farthest thing from both mine and kendalls minds, although a few years later it was the only thing. all of us kids just ran free with no care in the world. but that was then and this now. i would be finishing my junior year of highschool this june. Going into my senior year of highschool is alot different then i orginally planned. i thought me and kendall would be getting ready to have the best senior year of our lives. Going to all the football games during the fall, me wearing his hockey jersey in the stands every night cheering him on, us going to senior prom and winning prom king and queen and then us walking up there to recieve our diplomas together. But that dream was long gone and id be entering my senior year without my childhood friends. It was like something was missing at school this last year, the boys were the big pranksters at school and it seemed like no one could live up to them, many tried to replace them but it never stuck.

i was in my room finishing my homework when mom pulled in. Usually dad would be pulling in right behind her, but that hasnt happend for months now. He was in texas or arizona, or some where down south with his new girlfriend, he called once a month to make sure us kids were ok. i refused to talk to him, he broke up our family, he cheated on my mother for almost a year.

"kids im home, what do you want for supper?" i heard mom yell when she walked through the door. i walked down stairs to greet her. she was standing in the kitchen rubbing her temples.

"hi mom" she jumped a little and looked at me.

"oh kam, honey you scared me." she laughed a bit. i saw a large manilla folder sitting on the counter.

"whats that?" i asked and pointed to the folder.

"its all the divorce papers, it should be finalized in two months, so by the time school ends for you guys, me and your father will be no more." she wiped a tear from her eye. "im so sorry about this baby, i didnt want you guys to go through this, i thought me and your father would last forever, we were so in love when we were younger, but i guess im not young enough for him any more."

"its ok mom, remember we are family, we are going to get through this together. " i hugged her tight.

"i know sweetie. by the way i have some great news! once the divorce is finallized we are going to take a nice trip to L.A for the summer. i wastalking to jen and she thought it be a good idea that we be with people who love and care about us. so after school ends for you and kole then the four of us are hoping on a plane to L.A. doesnt that sound great?" she smiled her beautiful smile that i luckly got from her. every one said i was a clone of my mother, her brunnette hair and piercing green eyes were some how magiacally transformed to me. as for spending the whole summer with kendall...i didnt know wether to be happy or scared. i mean we broke up but i havent seen him in so long i missed him so much,

"thats great mom! i can't wait. " i ran upstairs to my laptop and quickly tweeted to my few followers and posted a facebook status that read: things are looking up, get to spend the summer in beautiful L.A and see my amazing childhood friends i havent seen in one year! cant wait xoxox.

i had a feeling this was going to be a summer i would never forget. i just pray that me and kendall will find the right path for our future.