Hell in our Eyes
Fill up the air balloon and ride with me
Yeah hell is jealous of the rain (rain)
Make love like time and space Is ending
While befriending fate's alluring way of putting us to shame
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
You make the sound of pulling heaven down
You brought the rain's romantic pour
You make the sound
You make the sound
Of pulling heaven down
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
(Tired of wasting time)
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
(tired of wasting time)
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
(go go go go)
lyrics by: Blue October
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
JANUARY
CHAPTER 2: WAKE UP SCREAM
BPOV:
"That is it Grams, I can't take this anymore!" I looked up shocked as I heard Charlie's strong voice, and his fist coming down on the dining table. I blinked, and licked my lips, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I was causing unnecessary pain for one of my only living descendents. Esme did not exactly count as living, she was a vampire – though she looked so much like her great grandmother – my baby girl. Her hair was the spitting image of my little Margaret and I wondered what color her eyes had been? Had she inherited my blue, Margaret gray or my father and most my siblings brown? I shook my head trying to focus. I had been little better then a ghost since I broke down, unfortunately for me when I lost something I loved, something as large as the Cullens had become to me, I fell hard. I did not respond to change or lost well. At least not in the beginning.
"I'm sorry Charles, I really am," I whispered, using Charlie's full name, not the nickname he had been called since birth. He blushed slightly in embarrassment and agitation at being called Charles. I smirked, he was a bit like me in that regard, I didn't like being called Isabella at all, but then again I had not been born Isabella.
"I know this is hard for you Bella..." I sighed, wincing at the name. I shook my head, looking up into his eyes with my annoying colored contacts. I hated these things.
"Please...don't call me Bella. If you must call me Kathleena, child," I told him, reverting into my natural style of speaking. I had tried for a long time to get with the times, not speak like I was stuck in the 1500's or something, but it was hard to do at all times. I found now that I had no will to hide my speech around Charlie. He didn't seem to mind, he knew I was much, much older then him or any of the mortals today. Even their oldest humans were not a dent in my age.
"Grandma Kathleena, I understand what your going through. When Grace left me and took Bel with her I thought I would never move on. I loved Grace, I loved her with my whole heart and it broke me to smithereens when she packed up and left when her her sister left town. I thought we'd be together forever. I know forever means something different to your kind, but I am still not over Grace. I never will be, don't let that boy crush your spirit to move on," he said, and I looked at him in shock and pride. I was so proud of him, I think this was the second longest speech I had ever heard from his mouth. It was full of sincere emotions, and I knew this because I had years and years worth of experience reading people the only person I could never read properly, was him.
"I'm sorry Charlie, I've been so childish haven't I? I'm almost seven hundred and three years old and yet I've been acting like a eighteen year old who had her heart broken for the first time." Charlie smiled, taking my hand where it sat on the table beside my bowl of cereal. Some human food was good, I had my favorites, not that it did much for us. We could live without it but it was sort of uncomfortable unless we ate every day, at least three times. I didn't wish to kill that many humans a day, not that I always killed my supply of human blood. Sometimes I got my blood from blood bags, others I got what I needed from multiple sources and then left them with no memory of it. There was times I went for the kill, usually only homeless or criminals.
"I think your aloud to act this way. Ed..Cullen was your first true love I think. I know from stories your father pretty much arranged your marriage when you where human," he assured me. I laughed, yes that was true. I had never loved anyone like I had loved Edward. My Charles was sweet, but he was not someone I would have spent my life with had it not been for my father. I was his oldest daughter, and though he let me marry someone who was not of royal or higher standing then a knight he had chosen the man I would marry.
"Thank you Charlie. I think your right, I need to move on. It won't be easy, but I won't do this to you any longer. I planed to leave Forks months ago, after he left but as you know I had my little catatonic episode -" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "- You'll have to tell everyone something. I went back to Renee or something. As for Isabel, such a darling she is, you'll just have to explain how she is my half-sister." Charlie nodded, I knew he'd think of something. He saw Bel every summer, this summer she planed to come here, unlike me Bel did not mind the rain. I had never been terribly fond of it, even as a human, but I had grown accustomed to it. People really did think I was Renee's daughter, oddly enough Charlie went to school with Renee and had dated her for two years before Renee disappeared. Everyone assumed I was the reason why she disappeared. Charlie's mother's name had been Helen Isabel, which is where many thought I got my name. Truth be told I wasn't related to the woman, I had compelled her in the hospital in Phoenix – why she even came is a mystery to me. I was just happy and lucky that they had not taken blood from me or been to curious about my vitals. We had heartbeats but they were weaker then a normal human. I was lucky to get away without to much compulsion on my part. I was shocked the Cullens never caught on.
I guess ignorance is bliss. I degrees – eight years after Renee left Charlie had married Grace Higgins, who was five years younger then Renee or him, and Renee's sister. They looked a lot alike, only where as Renee had light chestnut hair and blue eyes, Grace had auburn hair and blue eyes. People knew this, and they knew Grace had a baby hardly a year into their marriage, a baby girl and her name was Isabel, but she was hardly one when Grace had left with her visiting sister. Charlie was crushed, I didn't realize how much so until now. It had been ten years now, many people had forgotten all about little Isabel Swan. I was never fond of Grace, but I always sent Isabel gifts on her birthday, every September seventeenth.
"If that is what you want, though you don't have to leave Grams, I always have room for you and Isabel adores you," he said. I smiled and stood up slowly, taking my bowl of untouched cereal to the sink and cleaning it up as I figured out how to phrase my next words.
"I know, but this is for the best. I have to do this, I have to move on. If the Cullens where going to return anytime soon they would have already. It's been four months, it is time to let go," I said nodding to myself. I would hold on to them in my heart but otherwise I had to let go. I had to forget, I was a vampire, I'd find something to distract me. 'the sound of pulling heaven down...' I thought as I chuckled. I would have to create a new heaven in a way, my life had changed, just as I had, but I couldn't let my spirit die. I would return home, Mystic Falls was once a place I could call home, I had been friends with Giuseppe and Phoebe Salvatore since they had arrived in Mystic Falls in 1839, I myself had just arrived a few months before.
I knew Giuseppe was a Vampire Hunter, and it was very dangerous for me to be close to them, but I was lonely and I was very careful. I stayed in Mystic falls for six years, using make-up, what little I had to make myself appear older then the what I did. I had a strong youthful appearance and was changed at 19 so I hardly passed for 24 much less the 23 I was trying to pull of to a vampire hunter. I had stayed long enough to see Phoebe have her first son, Damon, he was the cutest baby and child. I left for Europe after this and never looked back in 1845. I don't know what happened after this.
"I understand, you'll write won't you?" Charlie asked. I turned and smiled, a semi real one this time. My eyes probably looked just as dead as before, but I put effort into this.
"Of course darling, now I'm going to get packed. Can you call the school for me and let them know?" I asked him, he nodded and I walked up the stairs at a fast pace, almost seeming to float. I chuckled as I remember when I told Charlie I was a vampire. He had instantly asked if I could fly and while I can't fly, like a bird so to say, I can sort of bend gravity. If I jump from a tall building I can seemingly float to the ground once I am close enough, and I can levitate is the best word I can think of. Walk on air being the second most correct term. Most vampires can do this, and most can compel others, some are stronger then others. We all have animal forms, some the older and more powerful ones have two, some have none. I have two, a Lioness, and a python. Katherine used to tease me that I had the form of the snake that tempted Eve from the bible. I would glare and shake my head, ignoring my younger sisters words.
I packed everything of use, some cloths, my toiletries, books, my laptop. I didn't touch much else. As I was walking with a handful of books and few CDs I stepped on a board in the floor that creaked and felt odd. I backed up throwing the stuff in my hands across the way tot he bed. It landed with a plop and I sunk down to ground level as I ran a hand over the board before I ripped it up in one swift movement. I gasped at the contents inside. It was the gifts I had noticed he had taken. I sighed, he obviously had not taken them after all.
"Stupid boy!" I hissed and shook my head as I placed the board back over the items. I couldn't take them with me, it would be like putting salt on a freshly reopened wound. Right now it was scabbed over and slightly pealing from finding the items, if I touched them or took them with me the scab would be ripped off and the salt would burn. I stood up quickly, going to my closet and getting out the outfit I had not worn since I moved from Europe to Forks to live with Charlie.
I was quick to change into one of my favorite dresses, one I kept well hidden and out of..Alice's sight. It was a beautiful cream lace dress with a ra ra skirt. It fell a bit above my knees and showed off my legs, and I slide a pair of swede lace up ankle boots on. I kept on my necklace, though I always had it on me, if I did not and usually if I was around...them...then I had on another means of protection like my matching ring or even earrings. Something a bit less distracting then my cameo pendent that was exactly like Katherine's. I also placed on a black lace choker and a sheer black knitted jacket which fell to her knees. It was pretty much see through. After I did this, leaving the jacket open so my dress was visible I pulled on a pair of black leather ladies gloves with zippers, which I pulled closed. I turned slowly in front of my mirror, happily. I had not worn this outfit in so long. I loved this dress, the way the neckline was and the way it pushed my cleavage up reminded me of the dressed back in the 1800's and those days were my favorites.
I grabbed my bags after I was happy with my look, applying some champagne and bronze/brown glittery eyeshadow and pale pink lip gloss for makeup along with some blush before walking down the stairs and opening the front door. I pushed my bags into the back of my truck and turned to look at Charlie who had fallow me.
"Please, be careful Grams," Charlie said, leaning in to give me a hug. I hugged him back and sighed, breathing in his honey and musk scent. For being relatives we did not smell much alike, the only thing I could pick up was in our blood and that was the scent of nutmeg. It was more powerful in him then me, or so I've been told. According to him, I smelt of freesia and strawberry's. I knew my natural scent was of Freesia, Jasmine, Nutmeg, and Strawberry's. My nose and my kinds nose was more powerful then their kind, so I wasn't surprised he only caught two out of four.
"I promise. Tell Bel I said hello," I told him and kissed his stubby haired cheek before jumping into my truck and leaving. It would take me a bit before I got to Seattle where I would buy a faster, newer car, possibly a Lexus or a Audi. I wasn't sure and I really didn't care, I just knew this truck would never make it to Mystic Falls, Virginia. I drove in silence until I was in Seattle and I exchanged cars and drove slightly faster – ninety the whole way instead of forty to forty-five.
"Hello?" I asked, as I answered my phone. I had always had the cell, it was under my real name not my assumed name, but I had hidden it away when I moved here.
"Hello darlin'" a soft Texan voice floated over the phone and I held back a gasp.
"Jasper?" I asked. How the hell had he gotten my number, it wasn't even under my real name.
"Kathleena, god that sounds weird, may I call you 'Leena darlin'?" Jasper asked. I blinked, I didn't really care for the shortened version of my name, but at least he had not asked to call me Kathy or Bella. I pulled the car over onto the shoulder, not able to concentrate on driving with the one person who I thought of a little brother – considering age – on the phone.
"Yes, that is fine. How did you get this number? Who is there with you? Why are you calling me?" I asked. Jasper chuckled and I heard a little giggle in the background, Alice.
"A little Pixie couldn't keep her mouth shut any longer. After four months she finally cracked. She couldn't see you any longer, she fell out of tune so to say but she remembered the name you wrote in that letter in her last vision. Kathleena Pierce. I looked into the name, and found your number. I didn't know if it was you or not but I took a chance," he explained. I smiled, so she had seen me write that letter.
"I see. Hell Alice, I miss you," I said, containing my excitement and hurt at the same time. I heard Alice squeal and scream out. "I miss you too 'Leena!" I chuckled and leaned back, resting my head against the head rest.
"Where are you headed Darlin'" Jasper suddenly asked. I bit my lip wondering if I should tell them.
"I'm taking a vacation in Mystic Falls, Virginia. Fells church as it was once called." it was true, once upon a time it was not called Mystic Falls, but Fells Church, but when the church burned – and I heard from rumors – they changed the name in honor of a new beginning to Mystic Falls. Fells church still stood today, sort of.
"I see, not the most sunny place in the world, but not exactly always cloudy either," Jasper said, sighing. I chuckled, shaking my head.
'No worries child, if you wish to come visit or whatever just give me a ring, I can make sure your secret is safe," I said. I heard a gasp and then Jasper confusion was almost laced over the phone.
"Child? Bell..'Leena what exactly are you? How old are you?" he asked. I sighed, I wasn't ready for this.
"Look Jas, I love that I got to hear from you, but now is not the best time. One day when we see each other again I will explain, but right now, over the phone, is not the time. Goodbye Jasper, Alice." I didn't wait for a response as I hung up. I stuffed the phone away and pulled back onto the road, returning to my journey home.
~ 0 ~
Updated as of Oct 31st - Ok, just wanted to say it has been updated, edited, and if you notice anything wrong, like I forgot to change her name somewhere please let me know.
A/N: Well there we have it. The beginning. I have a picture of the outfit on my Polyvore, you can get to it through links on my profile which while not a direct link will take you to the site so you can find it. If you do it manually my ID there is Lily Desdemona Cullen, Not Potter, but Cullen. I will have the next chapter up soon enough.