ONLY LOVE

DISCLAIMER: Slayers belongs to someone other then me.

AN: Well, this is the final re-write of Only Love. I hope you enjoy this version; the other one was tedious and hard to understand… I hope this is easier.

Please note I do NOT have a beta, so please forgive any mistakes I may have made, I do spell check and read over my work but there are always things missed.

Reviews are as always appreciated.

CHAPTER ONE

Filia ran, not caring where she went or what she went through to get there, the only thing in her mind being to get away. Away from the group and their constant presence, away from her friends with their well meaning questions and aid and most importantly… away from him. Her tears had slowed as she ran, concentrating on the movement and blocking everything else out.

She paused a moment, glancing around as she realized she truly had no clue where she was. She had left the path as soon as she was out of sight and now… she stamped her foot in frustration of what her emotional state had caused her to do. She stood there fuming for a few moments before, as quickly as the emotion had come, the irritation faded leaving her tired.

She sighed and headed over to a large tree, sitting down on one of the exposed roots and placing her head in her hands with a shaky sigh as she closed her eyes, feeling so incredibly tired and not even knowing why anymore.

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Xelloss had followed Filia as she ran, he knew that she was lying; he had felt the despair rolling off her in waves. She lied a lot now, he considered as he attempted to pinpoint her location through the interference in the woods.

In the time they had travelled together the young Dragon had changed. She began to seem almost corrupted in some ways. She lied all the time, and at times he felt her hatred when she watched the humans and the golem interact. She was no longer righteous and proud… no, nothing like that at all anymore… now she was always sad… no, more than sad.

It had taken a while to build, and Xelloss had originally put it from his mind, as she had never seemed overly different when he was around, sure, there had been an underlying hint of sadness in her anger but over time that over took and soon… sadness was all he could taste.

She was depressed.

Why this concerned him he wasn't really sure. After all, she was a Ryuzoku, why should he care if she was sad? It meant sustenance for him either way. He was a Mazoku, they were natural enemies, it was a fact that did not even need to be voiced and yet… he found himself growing more and more concerned. He decided it was just him worrying about losing such an appetizing food source… what else could it be?

Having lived such a long time, Xelloss had spent a lot of time studying the other races. He had always been an incredibly curious creature, living by the adage that even if curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back again… but then… he'd never really liked cats and had always thought of himself as more like a wolf and far smarter than a cat besides.

Having studied the Ryuzoku quite thoroughly, after all, one must know ones enemies; he understood exactly how dangerous deep depression was for one of the creatures. The Ryuzoku were pure beings… according to them at least. But they were polar opposite to the Mazoku, so whilst he thrived on the depression of himself and others it would slowly drain Filia to the point of killing her. That thought alone was disturbing, more so than it should be… the most disturbing part however… was that he cared!

Having located the Gold in a clearing not too far away he began floating through the trees, not needing to bother teleporting, she wasn't moving. Being a scholar of sorts he had to admit that her condition, despite disturbing him greatly, was a source of curiosity to him. He made up his mind that he was going to ask her why she was depressed, what was pushing her into that spiral… and what the emotions he kept sensing from her were.

"Miss Filia!" He called out to her as he approached her location, half warning her of his approach and half testing whether she would reply. He could see her in the distance, curled up at the base of a tree.

Filia's head came up as her sensitive ears caught what she could have sworn was him calling her name… she bit her lip, mentally chiding herself for having once again allowed herself to hope. Her eyes narrowed in self-recrimination. Xelloss could feel the despair wafting from her like tentacles as he came closer, but she did not see him as she buried her face in her hands again. It was only a moment before she began crying.

"Oh please no…" she half sobbed, "I don't want to cry anymore!" The last word was dragged out of her in a keening whine. She bit her lip hard, drawing blood as she fought with her emotions, hunching into a ball as she lost the battle, tears streaming down her cheeks and sobs wracking her form. Her whole body shook and she felt so weak…

Xelloss moved closer and froze shocked by the force of her emotions. 'Self-hatred? Her? Depression, despair, fear and anger… why are all these emotions negative?' Xelloss shivered slightly as her emotions energized him, made him feel so strong… and yet…

Suddenly she threw her head back and screamed to the sky causing Xelloss to almost fall from the sky in shock, it was only years of practice that stopped him from hitting the ground, he glared at her in irritation.

"Why?" She screamed. "Why did I have to fall in love? And with HIM, what have I done to deserve this? Why? Why?" She broke off as the sobs overcame her voice, curling tighter, trying to block everything out. Trying to understand.

"How can I love him? It's not possible, it can't work, and it WON'T work. He doesn't love me, its impossible for him to love me… I know this. So why does it hurt so much?" Her voice was a broken whisper as she bowed her head, too tired to even sob. The tears now running silently unchecked down her pale cheeks.

Xelloss recovered from his shock and moved next to her, confused. 'Is this why she is upset? Love?' He frowned as he felt irrational anger rising within him, directed not at her but at… his face creased in concern.

'Why does the idea of her loving someone anger me?'

Xelloss reached out and gently wiped the tears from her face, not entirely sure what was making him do such. He pulled back, however, and forcing a smile, as she looked up at him in shocked nervousness.

Filia pushed herself up against the tree until she was sitting, frowning up at Xelloss as he floated before her, head tilted slightly to the side in thought. They were silent for a long time, just observing the other until Filia couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"What?" She asked with annoyance coloring her voice though really she was feeling almost too drained to feel much of anything. His smile became wider as he crossed his legs, laying his staff across them. His eyes opened slightly so he could observe her better and she immediately cursed herself for getting caught in his gaze.

"Hmm, well, I was just wondering why a virtuous and righteous dragon maiden would tell such an obvious lie. Weren't you taught it was bad to lie by your stuffy elders?" His tone, though as mocking as always, failed to get even the slightest rise out of her. She stared up at him for a moment before forcing herself into turning away and staring at her hands.

"How did you know I lied?" She asked, voice soft, glancing up at him. Xelloss lost his smile, his eyes opening fully as surprise crossing his face before he closed them and just stared at her, his face expressionless. Filia shifted nervously, frowning at him, confused.

"Are you sick Miss Filia?" He asked finally, his voice was soft and confused. He floated closer and looked her over. "You don't look sick… but you must be… how could you forget otherwise?" He muttered, almost to himself.

Filia blinked, opening her mouth to ask what he was talking about, what had she forgotten? Standing in front of her now he gave her a look of slight concern, mixed with his confusion.

"Filia… I am a Mazoku… remember? Do you know what Mazoku feed on? Negative emotions. And do you know what that means?" He stared down at her, watching her reactions. "I can sense emotions."

Filia's eyes widened in shock… 'I forgot he was a Mazoku? Impossible! But… I did and I… Oh Cepheid… he can sense my emotions!' She shook her head, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to speak; however she found herself incapable, so great was her shock.

"You really did forget didn't you?" Xelloss shook his head in disbelief. 'Could it be, she doesn't hate me as much as I believed? In order to forget what I am…' His voice betrayed his surprise as he continued. "How could you have forgotten something that you remind me of daily!"

He paused as he looked her over again, looking as though he was seeing right into her soul, though his gaze was tainted with confusion. His gaze did not betray the questions running through his mind. 'Does she actually not mind me? Just not hate me? Or is she too busy thinking about the person she loves to worry about what I am?' That thought saddened him much more then it should. 'What is it about this Dragon that causes me to feel so much?'

'Please don't let him know, please don't let him know!' Filia repeated the same thing over and over in her mind and she felt the fear rise within her. He would kill her if he knew; make her life hell before throwing her to the wolves. She watched as he looked thoughtful for a moment before focusing back on her. 'Please don't let him know, please don't ask me, please don't know!'

"Perhaps you would care to explain something to me Miss Filia? This has been bothering me for quite some time now." He made his tone deliberately offhand.

She began to truly panic as he opened one eye to look at her. 'He knows, oh Cepheid he knows!' He stepped closer to her until his open eye was looking directly into her own wide ones. 'He's so close, I'm going to blow my cover. But I don't want him to move away. So close, but then he'll know. Get me out of here. So, close. HELP!'

Suddenly he felt her fear, he had been too distracted by his thoughts to notice that her nervousness had been increasing. 'What is she afraid of? She's looking at me… she's afraid of… me...?'

Xelloss stared at her in something akin to horror and felt his eternal mask begin to crumble as a sharp stab of pain travelled through his heart. He stared at her, for the first time in his existence the one who feared him was someone that he wished more than anything would never fear him...

He then felt anger rising within him. She feared him, how dare she fear him? After how patient he had been with her, not reacting when any other Demon would have slaughtered her, for warning her and helping her… deep inside him something cried as he fought with his very nature… if she was going to fear him… then she was going to have a very good reason.

Filia stared up at him as his expression darkened and he seemed to come to a decision. He shifted his stance and she held her breath.

"XELLOSS!" Lina's voice cut through the clearing and Xelloss flinched in slight surprise and then growled lowly. Anger covering his face as he glanced in the direction her voice came from. Turning back to Filia he stood so she knew she would be unable to stand. He was obviously not done with her yet.

Lina came running full tilt into the clearing. She took one glance at their positions and gathered up a fireball. She took a few steps closer, glaring at Xelloss.

"Leave Filia alone." She ordered in a dark tone. Xelloss stiffened, eyes opening slightly as his grip of his staff tightened. Lina's glare deepened. "I'm warning you Xelloss." His eyes opened fully and Filia shivered. There was murder in that gaze. She felt herself unconsciously push further into the tree, moving away from the angry demon before her.

"Back away or I'll be forced to Dragon Slave you." Lina told him, voice deadly calm. Xelloss stiffened further, eyes flashing angrily. "Order me around… that's it. I'm going to kill her." He muttered. Filia's eyes went wide.

"You can't, you'd hit Filia too… which considering you're trying to save her from me would defeat the point." His voice was low, mocking, malevolent and he shifted his stance, ready to fight.

::Xelloss do not kill the Inverse girl, she may come in useful later:: Zelas Metallium's voice echoed through his mind. He began to protest but she cut him off. ::Don't argue with me Xelloss… come and see me when you're done playing.:: He suddenly sighed and relaxed his stance, turning to face Lina while Filia gave an inaudible sigh and relaxed slightly.

Xelloss glared at her, murder in his eyes. "You should feel lucky. My Mistress has asked me not to harm you. But remember this for the future." His voice oozed malevolence as he spoke. "Stay out of the affairs of the Mazoku and Ryuzoku. They are none of your concern." He teleported away leaving only his voice echoing behind him, carrying with it the hint of his dark power.

"You may be strong Lina Inverse, but so am I. I will be back." His voice faded leaving Filia shivering and Lina glaring at nothing. Finally Lina sighed and looked to Filia who appeared to be in shock.

Filia looked down confused. 'Why did he do that? Why was he so angry? Lina always orders him around… What was he going to ask me?' She groaned softly, 'what is up with me today?'

Lina hurried to her side. "God Filia, can you go ten minutes without me having to save you? Sheesh. Come on; let's go back to camp. I want to get to that town quickly, I can't wait to taste all the yummy food." She led the Dragon out of the forest talking about different types of food she wanted to eat. Filia ignored her, still confused about Xelloss.

She blinked in surprise as she realized they were back at camp. Shaking her head she set about helping take the tents down and put the breakfast things away. Amelia looked over at Filia after some time and gasped.

"Oh Miss Filia! Are you ok? You have dirt up your arms and on your face." Filia frowned and glanced at her arms. She was right she was filthy. She bit her lip uncertainly and looked over at Lina.

"Miss Lina… there is a stream nearby… would you mind if I went and bathed quickly? I… need to recover…" She murmured and she sighed.

"Be quick about it Filia, I want to get to that town by lunch time!" Filia just nodded and hurried to the stream. Kneeling beside it she looked at my reflection and sighed.

"Even if I do manage to finish this quest I will never be able to go home. They will never trust me again, not when I have travelled with him." She shook her head and cupped the water with her hands, washing her face and arms.

"I'll start a new life. I'll do something I want to do… I'll have my own home… my own life…" She trailed off and turned away from the stream. Trying to crush the welling sadness within her. "Even if I'm alone." She sighed and then hurried away, it wouldn't do to keep everyone waiting.