Okay, calm down Santana. Just relax, everything is going to be fine. She assured herself. *beeeeep* the obnoxious sound of the horn blared behind her again. And whatever you do, do not put this car in reverse and ram the idiot behind you. She told herself, as she picked her head up and gave the driver behind her a dirty look through the rearview mirror.
Seriously, what the hell was wrong with this guy couldn't he see spare one green light to give her time to deal. She saw the guy throw up his hands in exasperation and shove his them, as if to physically put his frustration on her. She turned her attention back to the traffic light, and saw that it had changed back to red. Good. It served him right, being so rude to her. She thought, exchanging one last raised brow with him through the mirror, and gently slammed her head back to its previous position, rested on the car horn.
Couldn't this guy read her mood at all? Hadn't he realized that maybe the person in front of him was going through a major life crisis and develop a little bit of patience? She ignored the fact that she would have done way worse than settling for a glare, if the situation had been reversed. But hey! So what if this random person's day was inconvenienced for a bit. She deserved to be acting a bit irrational today!
She had played that scenario a thousand times before in her mind. However, what had happened was nowhere near what she imagined. Who could've thought that after 4 years of anguishing over her decisions, everything would have fallen apart so quickly? It was all stupid Finn Hudson's fault! She had believed she had 5 more months to prepare! It wasn't like she didn't know this day was going to come, but when push came to shove, she just ran out like a child. She had resolved to act more like an adult a long time ago; she had a daughter to raise after all.
Her daughter. The image of Isabella quickly sobered her up and renewed her strength. Fuck! What was she thinking? Just leaving her with someone who was practically a stranger to her. She berated herself, forcefully clenching the steering wheel.
She contemplated turning the car around and going back to the house. Finn was and okay guy, but who knew what kind of damage he could do. She was very careful with who she exposed her daughter too. First impressions were important and well intentioned or not, Finn had a record of being careless when it came to delicate moments. After all, he was going to be a big part of her daughter's life for now on. Shouldn't she be there to make sure everything went smoothly?
As she wrestled with her indecision, she heard the car behind her sound its horn again. "Fine." She grumbled as she pulled her car forward and entered the employee parking lot of Lima General. She saw the other car as it quickly accelerated past hers and park directly in front of the rotating doors. The guy came out took a cooler from the backseat and rushed through the entrance of the hospital, but not without giving her one last glare. She read the text on the side of his vehicle. "Human Organ Transportation" Crap, he actually did have a good reason to give her attitude.
She started feeling guilty as she thought about it. Well that was one person who had more to worry about, than their baby daddy showing up out of the blue. Hell, even she had gone through much worse. She was a single mother for god sake! She was stronger than this, she had to be.
Her resolved strengthened as she got out of the car. Carole was with them, she completely trusted her to keep Finn from doing something stupid. And Isabella? It would be better if she just went about her day normally and become more comfortable with having Finn around, before they took a relationship with her biological father any further.
Finn hesitated with his hand over the doorknob of his old room. Or should he say Isabella's room now.
He had heard the gist of it from his mother downstairs, with assurance that Santana should be given a chance for the full explanation. However, throughout her brief details, all he could think about was the life he had no idea existed until an hour ago, which was currently upstairs.
As soon as she was done, he asked if he could go see Isabella. In response, his mother just puckered her lips and gave him a calculated look.
"I'm not sure if that's a good idea now honey…..maybe you should wait until Santana gets off work." She told him shaking her head.
This was definitely not the homecoming he expected. He had expected his mother to be overjoyed with having him home, getting pushed into a seat with food thrust before him, and being doted upon while eating, and tears lots of tears. All he could see in his mother's face was concern for the little girl's well being. She must really love the kid, his kid. He realized.
So after lots of begging and promises of following the rules she laid out, she relented and allowed him to go upstairs to meet Isabella under her supervision. But not before coming over and giving him the tearful hug he knew she was dying to give him.
Even though Finn was so intent on seeing Isabella before, he couldn't quell the fear that was beginning to build up inside of him. None of his training had prepared him for something like this. He had walked into many times more dangerous situations than what was on the other side of this door before. Why was he so nervous now? Sensing his apprehension, his mother gave his hand a tight squeeze and nodded for him to enter the room. As pathetic as it sounded, he was glad that he had his mother with him.
As he entered the room, he faintly noticed that unlike the downstairs his room had gone through some changes. It looked like all of his stuff here, but little things were added here and there. However, most of his attention was consumed with the mini-Santana lying on his bed. As he got closer, he couldn't help think of how befitting his earlier nickname for her was. She really did look like a princess. Both of her hands were clasped on her chest and her hair looked liked it had been meticulously fanned out on either side.
Of all the times to choose to fall asleep kid. He wondered. She wasn't even sleeping under the covers. When he looked to his mother for an explanation, all he saw was his mother studying the little girl with nothing but adoration on her face.
"She's playing Disney princess." She whispered to him when she saw his confused expression. As if that explained anything. "You know, Sleeping Beauty" She continued.
"Ummm, is that the one with the talking lobsters?' He asked
"Nooooo!" Isabella's sudden outburst startled him. He looked down at the 3 year old's comically scandalized face. "That's The Little Mermaid!" She told him deeply offended
"Oh….sorry, I don't think I've seen that one before" He tried defending himself. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. He could see Isabella's opinion of him brought down a few pegs from the admission.
But come on, give him some credit. He wasn't lying before when he said nothing had ever prepared him for something like this. He wasn't even sure that 3 year olds could talk before this morning, let alone understand what happened in movies.
He heard his mother's laughter as she went to sit by a chair near the window. Without a word she held out her arms and the little girl crawled onto her lap and pulled his mother's arm around her. It looked like the most natural thing in the world.
So why couldn't he have that? He was the girl's father after all. Shouldn't there be like an instant bond or something between them. She wasn't just Santana's kid, there had to be some part of him in her too.
"It takes more than blood to be someone dad Finn." She explained to him sadly, reading his mind. "But don't worry; I know you have it in you. You'll get there eventually, just have take it slow." She finished, giving him a smile.
Throughout the exchange, he could see Isabella looking between them with a confused expression. His mother must've known the little girl wouldn't have been able to understand them in the first place, or else she wouldn't have said anything.
"Hey Izzy! I have an Idea! Why don't we show Finn The Little Mermaid? "She offered the little girl in a perky voice. "Santana doesn't really like to let her watch TV so early in the morning, but I think its okay for today." She told him.
He could see Isabella visibly brighten at the promised treat. She quickly went up to him and pulled his hand. "Let's go Finn"
He tried not to let it show, but the use of his first name did sting a little bit. "Remember, just take it slow" his mother mouthed to him as she passed by.
Santana carefully opened the door, ready for almost anything to greet her. What she saw was her daughter lying as straight as possible on a bed, and Finn Hudson lying on the floor doing a poor imitation of the figure next to him
The Disney princess game huh, she realized. As she got closer to the pair she noticed that they were both asleep. Standing over her daughter, she was struck with the thought of how she really did look like a princess. While Finn? He just looked like he was dead.
Probably dead tired from trying to keep up with a 3 year old all day. She gathered with some satisfaction. "And you considered basic training hard, huh soldier boy." she muttered looking down at him.
She was pretty tired too. So she crawled into bed next to her daughter and hugged her closer to her body. She closed her eyes, and a wave of nostalgia hit her. That's right, it was just like this. Even though it had been one of the hardest times in her life, she missed it a bit.
Back then it was just her, Isabella, and this room. She loved Carole, she really did. Who knows where she would be without her help? But the time she spent holding Isabella in this bed, were some of the happiest moments of her life. She couldn't really explain it. It was as if time stood still and she could forget about all her worries and fears and they were just mother and daughter in that instant. Inevitably, Carole would open the door and she would bring the reality of her situation back.
As she drifted off to sleep, she couldn't' help but observe how Finn's presence in the room felt completely natural and did not intrude on any of her memories.