A/N: Hi hi hi! :D Sorry for the delay, my laptop froze -_- Anyway, oooh, fun fact: one of the scenes in this story is inspired by the cover photo I've used! (if you can't see it, it's Austin hugging Dougie the Dolphin!)
Also, I apologise for not including much of Trish in this story ;-;
Comment replies:
LoveShipper: I know, I wouldn't know what to do if I were in his position ;-; and yep, she's definitely finding out like now!
Rauslly-and-Percabeth-Rock: Ahh, I'm sorry for making you cry! ;-; This story is the result of me looking up medical conditions late at night for an assignment. But eee, thank you!
tslodforever1: Hehe, here's the next chapter! and thank you very much! :)
Anyway, enjoy the final chapter (even though it's a bit more emotional than the last one)!
Warnings: some depressing thoughts in one bit; um, a bit of cussing (like two mentions tbh).
Disclaimer: I do not own recognisable things, okay.
Previously:
She walks out of the room, bumping into someone.
"Eeek, sorry." She apologises, before she looks up, eyes widening at the familiar face.
part ii
"Dez?"
"Ally!" Dez says in surprise, his expression mirroring hers, "What are you doing here?"
"I needed to get my head checked for a concussion. But anyway, what are you doing here?"
"Uhh, visiting my brother?" He says this as if uncertain with his answer and she takes note of him wringing his hands.
"Dez, you don't have a brother."
"Um, my sister, I meant my sister!"
"But isn't she in New York?" She narrows her eyes at him. "Dez, who are you really seeing?"
She doesn't know why it's her business to ask, but she still feels like she needs to know. Why did Dez need to lie?
Why was everybody keeping secrets from her?
"I...I-" a panicked expression crosses his face when he looks at her expectant gaze, before he sighs in defeat. "It's Austin."
Her large eyes swirl with confusion as she furrows her eyebrows. "W-what? What's wrong with him?"
"He's...well...I'm not supposed to be doing this, but...do you want to see?"
She nods slowly, still not sure how to feel. But one thing she does know is that her plan of getting over the blond just went out the window. Her heart is already pacing rapidly at the thought of seeing him again.
"But you can only stand near the door, okay? When you see him, promise me that you won't make a sound? Literally, don't say anything at all. Don't let him know that you're here."
She's becoming more confused by the second. "Dez, what's going on? You're not making any sense."
"You'll find out soon. Just don't let him hear your voice," He looks at her, a pleading expression etched on his face.
"Please, Ally. He didn't want you to know." Is this the major secret he'd been hiding? Is she finally about to discover what's going on and what had led to their breakup?
"Fine," she speaks softly, "I promise."
A. MOON
That's what the little plaque-like thing on the door says, shattering her idea that it's only a dream – or maybe a nightmare, depending on what happens in that room.
She's actually seeing him for the first time in eight weeks.
Dez opens the door, gesturing without a word for Ally to wait beside it.
And there he is. Lying in the bed, probably listening to music – judging by the earbud in one of his ears – is Austin. He looks perfectly fine, so why was he here? She wants to call out to him, scream at him, ask him why he ended their relationship, though she manages to stop herself, remembering what Dez had told her.
Austin sits up from his bed, though one thing she notices is that he's looking straight ahead, as if he can't grasp where his friend is.
"Dez?" His eyes dart around the room, and she sees his confused expression when he looks directly at her, though not exactly. He doesn't seem to actually notice her, or maybe he's ignoring her existence? Is he pretending that he can't see her?
Ally frowns. She'd expected some sort of reaction, but not that.
"I'm here." Austin turns his head towards Dez's voice and as she observes him reaching his hand out to feel Dez's already outstretched hand, that's when she realises, he really can't see.
She doesn't know what to think. How? What? Since when? Why?
His soft voice interrupts her thoughts. "How are things?" he asks.
Dez begins to talk about whatever's been happening in his life since the last time they talked – because she assumes he's been at the hospital for some time – while looking at Ally hesitantly every now and then.
She's starring at Austin, still trying to come to terms with what's going on, when she hears the mention of her name come out of his lips.
"How's Ally?"
Dez freezes for a moment, looking at Ally worriedly before speaking up.
"Um, things have been fine with her. She's been recording a few songs. Her latest album's rising up, and I think it's just under yours in the charts!"
Austin smiles at this, and Ally can't help but tear up.
He still cares.
"…and does she still mention me?" He asks in a small voice.
Dez averts his eyes back to her. "She does. A lot. She misses you, you know."
"I miss her too, Dez, just as much, if not more. She can't know about this though."
"Austin-"
"Try to make her forget about me. Please, Dez. Introduce her to...I don't know, one of our other friends. Just tell her I don't…l-love her anymore so she can stop thinking about me."
She wants so badly to scream at him for trying to push her away, but once again stops herself.
"I can't promise you that, Austin. She still loves you. Do you really think she'd get over you that easily?"
He sighs. "I know. I just hope she'll be able to move on soon."
(Oh how wrong Austin is.)
Once they come out of his room, closing the door, she demands answers from the redhead.
It turns out that he has some condition called choroideremia.
"Apparently full blindness occurs around late adulthood, but Austin's case was different. His eye sight seemed to deteriorate faster than usual." Dez murmurs sadly, and suddenly the constant starring she'd received from Austin before they broke up makes sense.
"Is there a cure?" There has to be one, there just has to be. Austin can't live like this, he-
"There isn't, Ally. That's probably why he didn't want you knowing. He's gonna live in darkness for the rest of his life, Ally. He doesn't want you having to help him forever."
"But I love him, Dez. Something like this won't push me away so easily! I'm going back in there right now!" She heads to open the door, but feels Dez grab her wrist.
"Please, Ally. He doesn't want you to know. At least not yet. He's still trying to wrap his own head around his condition, so please don't do anything drastic yet. He wouldn't want to face you right now."
She thinks about it for a minute, knowing that he's right. However, she knows she can't stay away from him now. If he doesn't want her to know about this for her own good, she'll hide something from him too. This will be for his own good.
"Alright. I'll make you a deal. I won't say a word to him, as long as you let me come with you every time you visit him. I promise I'll always keep quiet when I'm in there."
"Ally, you can't-"
"Dez, please. I need to see that he'll be okay. If I don't get to see him after this, I'll never be able to sleep peacefully at night, knowing that he'll always be living in a world without light. As long as I can see him, I'll be h-happy." She tries to blink back her oncoming tears as her voice cracks at the end.
"I don't- okay, Ally, you can see him, just don't make any noise in front of him."
"Yes, yes, I won't! Thank you so much, Dez, this really means a lot!" Ally cries, and Dez pulls her into a hug, not seeming to mind as she wets his shirt with her tears.
She continues to visit him with Dez throughout the whole week. Dez had also made sure to inform anyone near Austin's room to specifically not let Austin know anything about Ally's presence. And even though it's technically a breach of patient privacy, she had told them about her relationship with Austin, about their argument, and – with help from Dez – had somewhat convinced them to let her visit him.
(To her relief, she also finds out that the gorgeous blonde she'd seen at Austin's apartment those few weeks ago is in fact just his ophthalmologist.)
There are close calls though. One time, Austin says some things that seem to upset her, ("Dez, do you think life's worth living now without light?" is one of them), causing her to run out with an audible gasp. As Austin looks in her direction in suspicion, Dez manages to cover it up by telling him that the cleaner spilled something and gasped. And luck seemed to be on their side as one of the cleaners is actually present, manages to back up Dez's excuse, and Austin is somehow convinced.
That visit ends with Dez encouraging Austin to never lose hope in life, and the blond apologising for having voiced such thoughts, insisting that they were just spur-of-the-moment and that he never meant to upset anyone.
The next time she visits Austin, she doesn't come along with Dez. She hadn't planned on telling Dez about this visit, so she decides she needs to be extra careful. Dez usually visits Austin during the afternoon, and currently it was still the morning, so she has plenty of time to stick around without him knowing.
She opens the door and closes it behind her, to see Austin sat up in his bed, again with an earbud stuck in his ear.
He turns his direction toward the door, taking out the earbud.
"Dez? Nurse Alice?"
She stands by the door, and waits with bated breath.
After a while, he shrugs. "Must've been the wind or something..." he mumbles before putting back in his earbud.
She continues to observe him, quietly moving closer, but not near enough for him to feel her presence. Several questions spring up in her mind.
What happens after he leaves the hospital?
Is he destined to be looked after by old nurses for the rest of his life?
What happens to his career? Wouldn't the fans eventually have to know the truth?
Why had only Dez known? She wasn't even sure if Mike and Mimi knew.
But what she does know is that he doesn't deserve this. He's at an age where he should be living his life, travelling around the world, not stuck here in Miami.
She understands why he hadn't told her about his sight – after all, she probably would've done the same if she were in his position. But it doesn't matter now. She wants to tell him to screw what he says – she's staying by his side whether he likes it or not, because she loves him, because like the sun needs a world to shine on, she needs Austin in her life because he is her world.
She hears him sigh, grabbing for what she realises is his phone. He double clicks the home button and presses the top of the screen; she guesses that he probably paused the song he was listening to.
"It's that song." He murmurs.
She moves dangerously closer, careful not to make a sound, and catches a glimpse of the album art.
She knows what song it is. It's the one that they sang together when she got over her stage fright. It was all thanks to him that she was able to overcome her fear. She can't believe he still has their older songs on his phone.
He feels for something on his bed and pulls out what she recognises as Dougie the Dolphin (which she assumes is the only thing he's kept to remind him of her).
"You're all I have, Dougie. I mean, well, besides Dez. I guess Sargent Bearington and the others too. I mean, how long will it be before Dez leaves me? I know he's my best friend, but I can't hold him down from his future. Though you'll still be here, right?"
He cuddles the stuffed toy securely in his arms, bringing it close to his face for comfort and she wants to tear up at the sight because he looks so lost, so vulnerable.
"How weird would it be if someone walked by and saw me, a twenty-one year old, talking to a stuffed animal like you? They'd probably think I'm insane! But whatever.
"You know, I'm getting out of here soon, which is great, because the food here is horrible. No offence to the chefs here. I mean, I guess their pancakes aren't too bad."
A watery smiles spreads across her face. Of course he'd comment about the pancakes. Typical Austin.
What Austin conveys to the toy next makes her more emotional than she already is.
"But they're not as good as the ones at IHOP...or the ones that Ally make," he smiles sadly as he reminisces, "ah, I remember the five foot one she made me..."
She remembers it too.
(She also remembers the time he bought that necklace for her.)
(Actually, she's wearing it right now.)
"I wonder how she's doing now. Do you think she misses me, Dougie? I still miss her. I haven't heard from her for ages, but I guess that's my fault. Dez told me that she's actually moving on. I wonder if she still loves me as much as I still love her," his voice drifts off sadly, before it changes to a cheerier tone, "You know what? I'm glad that Ally can move on and not worry about silly me."
'No, you idiot, I'm still here, I still love you!' she wants to scream.
But then he chuckles bitterly, and she notices one of his hands are clenched tightly. "I was too cowardly to tell her the real truth! I wonder if she hates me. Do you think she hates me, Dougie? I mean, I broke up with her without any logical reason, I haven't answered her calls, I refused to face her when she came knocking on my door and pretended that I wasn't living there. It was never my intention to make Ally hate me, though I guess it'll be easier for her to distance herself that way."
She desperately wishes to call out to him, to tell him that she doesn't hate him at all; that she's still here for him.
"I probably have to keep explaining why I pushed her away, but this is the only method. She can't stay with someone blind! She doesn't have to know about my condition, because knowing her, she would stay by my side and then she wouldn't be able to grow in her music career and then- and then, it would be my f-fault." His voice breaks at the end as he blinks back his tears.
That's the last straw for Ally, who, with one hand clamped over her mouth, tries to run out, but – curse her clumsiness – she slips to the floor and knocks something over.
She freezes.
Austin picks up on the noise, hurriedly wiping away his tears. "Who's there?"
Ally tries to keep quiet, keeping her hand over her mouth as she stills in her position on the floor.
Unfortunately, Austin's adamant that he knows someone's here.
"Tell me. Who are you? I know someone's in here..."
Silence.
He's so sure that there's someone in here. It's terrible enough that his eyesight's gone – he better not be losing his mind either.
"Someone is in here, I know it! Don't mock me, I'm fucking blind, not stupid!"
No response, yet he can now definitely hear the person's breathing become erratic.
Austin flicks the covers off himself, and swings his legs out, ready to hop off the bed. Even though he's blind, it doesn't mean that he can't use his other senses. "If you don't tell me who you are right now, I swear, I'll get out of this bed and-"
"It's m-me."
He freezes.
No.
It can't be her.
"…Ally?"
Maybe he really was losing his mind. It can't be her, it just can't-
"Y-Yes."
The confirmation causes his mind to panic. How does she know where he is? How long has she known?
After a significant period of silence, he begins to speak calmly, trying to make sure that his voice doesn't waver. He can't let her know how he's feeling. "You're not supposed to be here. How much did you hear?"
His heart clenches at the sound of her sniffles, and if he wasn't trying to maintain his indifferent composure, he would be comforting her now.
"A-All of it. W-well, everything you've said since you asked Dez a-about me earlier this week."
He can't help but voice his surprise. He's going to have a word with Dez the next time to visits. "So you've known for a while now? Did Dez-"
"No, don't blame him…I forced it out of him." Honestly, he should've expected that. But all he's thinking about right now is that she cannot be here.
"You…you didn't have the right to know. You need to leave now, Ally…"
"No, I know the t-truth now, Austin. And I obviously heard e-everything just then. I still lo-"
He knows what she's about to say, but he can't let her finish. That would mean accepting her back into his life, and he can't keep her here. She has to move on. So with a stoic expression, he tells her, "Get out."
"Austin, p-please..."
"I said get out. I'll even call someone if you don't leave now."
"No, Austin! You don't get to decide for me!"
"What-" He hears a shuffle of movement until he senses a small weight beside him on the bed, and suddenly feels a small hand grab hold of his large one. His breath hitches at her touch, and even though he tries to resist, he finds himself automatically entwining his fingers together with hers.
"I am not leaving you! Not now, not ever. Looks like you're stuck with me." He spots a hint of cheekiness in her voice at the end.
He misses his stubborn Ally so much, and no matter how hard he tries to maintain his façade, he just can't do it. His eyes begin to water and he finds soon himself in a blubbering mess.
"No, Ally, you c-can't stay here- you can't, you can't- you can't see me like this, y-you-" his mind tells him to stop fucking crying, but his heart isn't listening, "you can't be here, Ally. I'm blind. I'm basically useless now. Don't stay with me. Be free."
"Austin, I d-don't care if you're blind! Heck, I wouldn't even care if you were mute, or if you lost the use of your legs. It doesn't make me love you any less, Austin! You wouldn't be able to push me away if you tried.
"And you aren't useless, Austin! You may have lost your sight, but you can still perform, you can still make music! There are plenty of people who can live their previous lives without their vision. They just need some help along the way…"
He tries to wipes his tears with his free hand, but they keep pouring. Why can't he stop sobbing?
"But I'll only be a b-burden to you. You can't just risk throwing your own career away for m-me…"
"Oh my god, Austin! Have you forgotten how many times you've risked your career for me? Remember Miami 'h8ter' girl? Remember your first magazine cover? Remember when you tried to get Jimmy to sign me instead because he couldn't accept both of us? And remember the one time you actually did lose your career? Let me do the same for you. You won't be a burden, Austin. You're more important to me than all of this."
He does remember. But this is different. He's blind.
"How can you be so sure? How can you be sure that you'll be able to handle it, because I might have to rely on you most of the time for the rest of our lives, and you might get frustrated, and, and-"
"I can't be certain that we won't have our fights, but you have to trust me on this. Besides, our love is stronger than that. And you know you'd be doing the same thing if I were in your position."
He stays silent. But he knows she's right. If she was becoming blind, he wouldn't leave her side.
"Please, Austin," she grips onto his other hand, squeezing that one firmly, "I still love you. We can work this out. You, me, also Dez and Trish. The four of us can get through this together."
There's a long pause before, "I-I…you heard me before, I still love you too, Ally. And I trust you. T-Take me back?"
He knows that they're okay when he's then pulled into a hug. A warm feeling spreads through him, and a small grin appears on his face. He misses this.
He pulls her even closer to him, trying to soak in every fibre of her being. They stay like that for a while, before Ally moves away from him. He almost groans at the widened distance, but then he feels her hand move to the back of his neck, and her lips crash into his. Their lips move together in perfect sync creating a beautiful dance, and he can taste the hint of saltiness, not quite sure whether they're from the tears leaking down his face, or from hers, or both.
Eventually running out of breath, they pull apart, leaning their foreheads against each other. He closes his eyes as he cups her face, before he begins tracing over her delicate features; he feels her round eyes, her button nose, her soft lips.
An image of his Ally appears in his mind.
He sighs in content, knowing that she's the only source of light he truly needs to brighten up his life.
A/N: (let me add at the end + Dez and Trish because he needs them too!) I hope I didn't disappoint anyone; I had quite some trouble with the end. Though I'm still proud of this story, haha.
Thank you for anyone who stopped by to read this story, and extra thanks to those who commented/favourited/followed! :)
Yeah, also, talk to me on twitter, rnoonlights (I swear I'm super nice; I'm just also...awkward, haha)
A&A's ending (let me get some trishues!), but hopefully this isn't the last time you see me publishing a story in this fandom :) Most likely will try sometime after the A&A finale, which I am NOT ready for (okay, no one is)!
Bye for now though,
Helene