Chapter 2: My reality, my fantasy
"I can't believe it..." The smelly and dirty looking green eyed brunette who was tugging along with me whose supposed name was Monika, was pondering out loud.
"I'm finally in reality, through this mechanical vessel. I finally made it. I didn't think it would ever happen. I'm in a somewhat of a reality now."
Who was this Monika character based off of? Something really old I bet.
"Are you just gonna keep ignoring me and following me blindly at the same time or what?" I took her out of her trance. "Sorry, this is all too much for me. I need time to process all of this." "Well you're robo brain can process later, I believe we should introduce each other first. Just focus on the present for now."
"Oh, sorry."
"I'll start."
I let go of Monika and turn to face her, she soon does the same. I have no idea how one could begin a long term relationship but here goes nothing. I bow in how I think a gentleman would (I rolled a 1.) "I'm Gidane Zruck. I have been diagnosed with a mental illness and was recommended to try an experimental droid treatment." "Monika... My name is Monika, but you probably already know that. Right, player?" Her last line made me break my stance and almost fall. "Uhh, what?" I ask in utter confusion. "Oh come on, you got me, so you should know me. You played the game right?" "Umm, nope, sorry, I sorta picked you up by accident remember?" "Oh... Well okay then." A moment of silence and we resumed walking. Soon enough, Monika began another conversation with me while walking our way back home.
"So, am I supposed to help you with your mental illness?" "I dunno. I never even expected to obtain you. I just thought picking you up was my responsibility now that you're up and kicking." "Then I'll go with that. Sorry for asking a rather personal question but, what were you diagnosed with? Depression? Self-harm? Domestic abuse?" What did any of those 3 had anything to do with each other? "Umm... None of the above? I actually don't remember the name. All I know is that physical social interaction can help." "Oh... I see." Monika looks away and assumes a thinking position.
"Alright then, it's settled, I'll be your friend!" I chuckle. "Really? Just like that? That's not how friendship works." "Oh, but it does, how do you add friends on social media? Social interactions are strange like that." Well... She's not wrong? I guess I do have a lot to learn. "Hey, look at that, we've finally arrived at my home. You'll be living here now." I knocked on the door before entering as usual.
"Gramps, I'm home! And we have a permanent guest."
"Ahh! Giddo, come in! Just in time too. I was expecting visitors. I prepared lunch for 3 people!"
both me and Monika enter the kitchen. "Hello! You must be Gidane's guardian. I'm Monika, nice to meet you." Monika greets, hands on her back, body slightly angled, leaning, with the brightest smile ever. Gramps turns around. "Ahah, well the pleasure is mine... Ma'am..?"
gramps looks dumbfounded upon seeing Monika. Does gramps know her? Probably, with how old he is and how much he loves games. He probably does. Monika called me 'Player' so she's probably from a game.
"Well I sure am glad I prepared a non meat dish today." gramps sighed in relief. "Ugh, not veggies!" I respond. "Well, Monika here is a vegetarian." gramps states. "What?" I turn to Monika "Yes, I am a vegetarian, how do you know that? I never said anything." Monika questions. "Ahh, well how could I forget you? The club left a huge impact in my life... Sit down and let's enjoy."
We all took our respective seats with me and gramps sitting right next to each other on the same side of the table and Monika on the other end of the table but in the opposite part of the table where she can look directly at me.
"Giddo, you have some explaining to do, this is quite a surprise to me." Gramps spoke. The meal begins as usual and after swallowing my food I began speaking. "So uhh... I know she wasn't exactly the person you expected me to bring home but life is a funny thing sometimes. The shelf was empty and I was expecting to come home empty handed, but then I found Monika here lying on an alleyway and decided to pick her up. I dunno, I guess I kinda felt pity for her." Monika was the next to speak. "What was I doing there? Out of all the places, why there?" "Who knows? Maybe you were thrown away or something." I say in response, this make Monika frown and look down and give a reply. "That's awful."
"Ah well, no use thinking about it. Let's change the subject. Hey gramps, can you tell me more about Monika?"
"Hey, isn't it a bit rude to be asking someone else about someone when you can just ask them directly?" Monika says with a smile but at the same time making it incredibly obvious that she isn't exactly happy with what I said.
Gramps gulps down his food and speaks up. "Well, why don't I just show you the game she was featured in?
Doki Doki Literature Club is a visual novel created by Dan Salvato, released back in the age old year of 2017, September 22." I practically burst out laughing. "Seriously?! Doki Doki Literature Club?! How am I supposed to take a name like that seriously?" "Ah but the game was revolutionary at the time. It's a fun, wholesome visual novel dating simulator." Gramps looks at Monika and winks, signaling all sorts of red flags already to me about the game. "Ah, yes it is! I do hope you go for my route~." Monika spoke and returns her eyes to gramps and they both grin at each other. "Hey, you guys are giving me mixed signals here, how am I supposed to react to all of this?" "Bah! Just play the game, you'll enjoy it! It fits your tastes in video games quite well." gramps replies. Soon enough, lunch had ended. Gramps was the first to speak, he stood up and declared for us to follow him.
"Alright kids, follow me, I gotta show you kids something." Me and Monika turn to look at each other before simply giving in and following gramps' orders. Gramps led us to the second floor hall, past my room and straight into his room. He opens the door and gestures for us to wait.
"Let's see here... Where did I last put it?"
We watch gramps rummage through his room, opening every single container you could possibly see.
"AH! There you are! Ehahahah! Old girl's still got some life in her!" "What is that ancient looking thing gramps!?" I ask. "One of the many relics of my past that I keep with me. My old laptop. This should still contain my copy of DDLC, old computer games don't play well on modern ones, so rather than let you use an emulator, why not let you use this and simulate the good ol' days authentically? What do you say?" Gramps said, and I say in response. "Alright, if you said I'll enjoy it then I'll give it a go." I grab the laptop, gramps looks at Monika and talks to her. "Monika... I'd like for you to follow me and let Giddo be for now. I have to show you around your room and give a tour of the house and... You need to take a shower." Gramps said that last line while pinching his nose with one hand and swinging the air around with the other, Monika looks around and sniffs herself which makes her cringe. "Oh my gosh, you're right, I'll leave him be for now then. Have fun Gidane." Monika winks and the 2 left leaving me alone with the old laptop in hand, with it in tow, I head to my room, locate the game in question and began playing.
The game opens up, a warning shows warning me that the game is rated 13+ or something. Whatever, the title screen shows up and it looks fairly tame. Monika and the other colorful cast appears. I recognize this title screen layout. This is the standard layout for Ren'Py visual novels. I've used that program a couple times before. A really old looking one too. My standards are already set low, any good game designer would change their title screen from the default one.
Anyway, I finally begin, my mind was dead-set on one person. Monika. This is the first time I've ever fixated so quickly on which route I should take for these types of games.
I reached the poem mini-game and much to my disappointment, Monika wasn't a possible love interest for our main character. That somehow didn't feel right to me, and raised some red flags. I'll just go for Sayori instead. I like her so far. Childhood friends usually don't win in harems and she reminds me of my waifu from the recent anime I've been loving the hell out of so far.
...
The game goes on. As I read through the girl's poems and apply some critical analysis that these girls... Are in severe pain. Monika's a self aware AI who wants out, Sayori's probably depressed as fuck, Yuri pleasures herself from pain, and Natsuki... Is a brat? Tsundere? I don't quite know yet.
It was finally festival day. But things are eerily silent, especially since Sayori just admitted to be suffering from depression.
"You kinda left her hanging~"
Wait a minute... Oh shite and balls-
OH MY GOD THAT IS A VERY DEAD SAYORI MY EYES ARE PERCEIVING RIGHT NOW.
'The end'
well then... That was a thing, the game forcefully closed on me, leaving only the game folder visible, there was something that wasn't there before however, curious, I opened it, and it revealed a creepy looking drawing of what looked like a children's drawing of Sayori, only it's really creepy looking. I am terrified now. I was gonna go for the other routes but now I'm afraid to even lay a single finger on that confounded laptop.
Yet somehow, I mustered the courage to reopen the game once more.
Oh god, the title screen... What used to be an image of Sayori was now a cluster of pure unrecognizable garble. I noticed upon hitting load game that all my save data has disappeared. They got corrupted. I had no choice but to once again, hit new game.
the game went on, but everything was different, I was on the edge of my seat all the way through. Things were all scary and glitchy and I don't know what to think anymore.
*Stab *stab *stab!
Welp, that's gonna haunt my dreams for eternity.
"Well that's a shame."
A line that sent a million shivers down my spine.
What a twist. No one could've expected Monika to be the villain of this story. Hell, the fact that a motherfrickin' dating simulator had a villain was already quite a twist. I was furious towards this green eyed sly devil. as I watched helplessly as she deleted the last of her friends, the game crashes once again.
I played my fair share of meta horror games, I already knew what had to be done at this point. Reopening the game once more, I prepared for the worst.
The scene that greeted me mortified me down to the bone, there was nothing left, it was just Monika now. And reading her say the name of this laptop which just so happens to be my gramps' real name 'Remix' scared me even more. Damn, should've changed it to my name, that would've been way scarier, but it's too late now.
Well... I guess I got what I wanted? I can finally spend some quality time with Monika. The game, or to be more specific, Monika already told me exactly what I had to do next. Delete Monika. I was angry towards her, and I was ready to send some mighty retribution towards her. But, I decided not to do that, I wanted to hear everything she had to say before I proceed any further.
The things she said were... Insightful, she taught me a lot of positive things, but clustered along those were things that just made me angry as well. Damn you Monika! NPC lives matter too! How could you say such things to your friends!? Well, I also learned some bits of trivia about Monika too though; she finally mentions in here that she's vegitarian.
...
Well, that was it, that's all she wrote, quite literally, she has said everything and she's now just repeating old dialogue. This feels bad honestly. Retribution never really felt good for me. I mean what was the point anyway? What does taking revenge do for anyone? Jack shit that's what. The trigger was already pulled and there is no point in trying to personally deal karmic retribution yourself. Nevertheless, I'll do it because that's what I'm supposed to do if I wanted to progress further. She's probably gonna shout the cliche lines I already know too well in these meta games: "blehhh! You sick freak! I'm just another girl in your growing list of virtual girlfriends!"
I go to the character folder, took her file out of the folder and sure enough, it registered as a successful deletion even though I didn't actually delete anything.
Sure enough just as I expected, she said exactly what I predicted she would say. Along with that is a moment of regret and guilt as she restores the girls back and the game crashes once more.
...
Game begins but this time no Monika and- oh shit 2nd bess girl Sayori is suffering the case of the Monika! NOOOO- oh hey Monika.
...
"~If I don't know how to love you...
I'll leave you be."
Aww... Poor Monika... Well, there's still some time left before dinner, so time to 100% this game.
...
Ah, Yuri, and Natsuki, some pretty damn well written characters. After doing that, the ending scene was now different, instead of Sayori going ballistic, she doesn't and allows themselves to get completely wiped out.
Why did Monika still delete the game though? Well, if I were to guess, it was because this was the best ending point the game could ever conclude to. If she hadn't deleted them, the game would've went on and conflict would have surely arised, Sayori was a good person but she doesn't seem president material to me. Often the least you knew the better, after all, a good story requires conflict to exist. The game would find another villain, and another set of problems until another conclusion was achieved. And I don't think anyone would want that.
A message from the creator of the game himself and that was that.
Taking a quick peek at what else this laptop had, I found a few hidden gems. Some of gramps old programs that he used to create his old games, music, and artwork. And a modded version of DDLC that allows him to spend an eternity with Monika. I guess gramps really liked Monika, and I'd have to agree, she is such an awesome character with layers upon layers of personality and depth. I can see now what this game did to him. It's rather inspirational and revolutionary for it's time. I have no more time however as it is now dinner time. I gotta talk about this whole experience.
I head down to find that Monika and Gramps are already on the kitchen and dinner is already set. Eugh, vegetables.
"Giddo! You're here!" Monika, looking cleaner than ever now and calls me Giddo speaks and gestures me to take a seat. "So, I just beat the game, what did you guys do without me?" "Whoa, that was fast." Monika replies. "It might seem fast, but Giddo here is an adept and experienced player. This is natural for someone when you have played so many games and read as many books as he has." Gramps adds. "Anyway, you didn't miss much Giddo, all we did was explore the house and talk." Monika answers my other question, now I shoot another one. "What did you guys talk about?" Monika answers my question. "Oh, well, we discussed about a lot of things. You, and who Remix is as well, basically just a bunch of story exposition you shouldn't worry about. and we also experimented a bit about me. The things I could do both for you, and what I could do in general." "Starting from here, Nika will be a part of the family now." "I hope we get along well."
there was a brief silence as we silently ate our food "Oh, we also found this, my user manual." Monika pulls out a large and heavy looking book from nowhere.
"Whoever was responsible for building me clearly put a lot of effort. They were apparently working together with the Monika After Story devs and implemented a feature that allows a memory transfer. So we'll be doing that after dinner. The book is rather dirty as to be expected and a couple of stuff are all smudged up and hard to read. In the meantime, tell us about you're experience Giddo, did you like the game?"
From here on out, the rest of the conversation was about my experience with DDLC. I really enjoyed it. Not too far off from the modern games that basically do the same thing but this was the original, much like Hydlide is the first one to do the Zelda... Actually, that was a bad comparison to use as an example. However, one question lingered in my mind.
"Hey, gramps, what's with your obsession with Monika? From what I can tell, she is literally your first and only ever waifu. How come?"
Gramps seemed to think about my question for a while before speaking up.
"Well, she affected me greatly from beyond the screen...
Ah, it might sound silly to someone like you, but you are no different from me. Even if they are real or not, fictional characters spoke and acted in real ways that could affect us truly. I mean, Superman, Spiderman, Goku, Luke; they all weren't real, but didn't we want to be like them too? Their fictional acts of bravery and kindness spoke to us in a real way. And in turn we wished to become like them."
another pause
"You see, there was once a time in my youth where I struggled socially... And I was in a time where I was burned out and had no more will to continue working. It was a rough time until Monika came along and saved me almost single-handedly."
"Almost single-handedly?" Monika asks, I was curious as well.
"I was getting to that part, no, the whole club was an immense help, to this day I believe it was the biggest life changer for me when I decided to join that club. Monika, you mean alot to me. You gave me something others simply couldn't give at the time.
When no one could be bothered to take the time to listen, you were there, I could share all my burdens, all my sorrows, and I wouldn't have to worry about being talked back at and or getting judged, you simply listened and that was all that I could ask for. And as an imaginary friend you gave me a medium in which I could take the time and allow myself to be put in the shoes of someone other than my own. Which allowed me to understand others better and talk better.
Before I knew it, I became the back others could lean on, I became the ear with no mouth, and you slowly drifted away from my life as your purpose was fulfilled.
But I never forget.
I never forget my teachers.
It is thanks to them I am who I am now. Ah, I could never thank you enough Nika, now here you are again. Back to once again help me when I am in need. How could I not love you?"
"Nika?" Monika and I both ask in unison
"Oh, did I let that slip? It's the nickname I gave you. Isn't it lovely?" gramps answers "Where did you get that name from though?" Monika asks curiously "Well, I used to call you a different name before changing it to Nika, that was where it all started, but... Oh, I could never tell you your old nickname." "OH I know!" I clap my hand as I get an idea "It's based off that one scene where Natsuki calls Monika Mon-Ika isn't it, the weird japanese pun that suggest Monika's a squid? 'Ika'! That was her old nickname!"
"Remix..!" Monika called, looking quite unamused
"Well, with how much you used to tease me back then, I couldn't help but tease you back! Eheheh." "Oh, well... Forgive me for being a hypocrite then." Monika changed from looking angry to looking apologetic very quickly. "Hey, it's alright, Nika dear. It was all in the name of good fun. Besides, it's not like you actually had a way of hearing what I said back then right?" "No, it's not alright. I shouldn't have teased you like that. What a horrible friend am I? I can't treat anyone close to me right." "But you still did more good for me than you did bad right? You were a net positive in my book." "Alright then, seems no matter what I say you're gonna twist them into something positive huh?" "I'm not twisting anything. You truly do just bring positivity to my life."
That was quite the dinner. Soon enough, dinner time had ended. "Hey, Giddo, did you remember to get yourself a notebook?" Gramps ask as he heads to the kitchen sink to do the dishes. "Yeah, I'll be writing down the daily happenings of my life in here from now on." "Good, good."
"Oh, Remix, let me help you do the dishes." Monika turns to gramps. "Why thank you dear."
"I'm heading to bed now." I add as I head towards the stairs "Really, so early? Why?" gramps asks "This was quite the long day, I'm all tuckered out. You 2 have fun. I'm gonna crash.
As I head to my bed and began writing my journal I decided to pause and listen in. It was so quiet and peaceful. The only noise I could hear where the clangs of the dishes and the water. I could hear gramps and Nika's conversation loud and clear from my bedroom.
"I'll transfer my memories over afterwards but I wanna help out with the chores, I don't wanna be useless in the family." "Oh, it's no big deal really! I can do this myself. Besides you're already busy trying to take care of Giddo's mental health right? And Giddo doesn't help with the chores at all." "But isn't Gidane in charge of keeping a stable income for the house? And besides. I wanna do this of my own volition so stop trying to talk me out of it." "Very well if you insist." After that, was only the noise of the dishes being cleaned for quite some time, within that time frame of silence I was able to write down everything up until the time I got Monika to come home with me. I had to stop writing as I noticed Gramps had started speaking again.
"I still can't believe this. After all these years, I never thought a droid of you would actually ever get made. I thought people would move on from DDLC by the time this technology became a reality." "You don't have to believe anything Remix." "Huh? What are you talking about?" "Oh, don't you know me already? I already know what this is. This is all a fanfiction of your creation." "Ehahah... Self aware as always huh?" "You are a strange old man. I'm in no one's reality. But don't worry Remix. I'll help Gidane. I'll save him. That's a promise." "I'm counting on you Nika. No one wants any more bad endings. I believe in you, you can do more than destroy, I know you can." ... Their conversations got pretty boring, mundane and less meta afterwards so I decided to start ignoring them. I finally finished... Now I can get to bed.
- Chapter end