A/N: I officially have no life for continuing this. There, I said it! Well, when I first wrote it I had in mind to make it a two-to-three chapter story. I wasn't sure because I really wanted the first chapter to stand on its own but at the end I gave in. It's my messed up mind and my muses… anyway, I didn't expect this to be so well liked and I have to thank you for the reviews. Hopefully you won't think I ruined it by adding this ;)

ChApTeR 2

Some people say that the human mind is the most powerful tool a person possesses. You know how it goes; if you want something pretty bad and you really, really put your mind into it, you'll eventually get it.

It's what we are taught since pre-school; setting your mind into it can make you conquer the world, right?

I used to believe in that; after all perseverance does pay off and I can attest to it. In fact, I can talk for hours about it and about all that doctrine of working hard, following your dreams, never giving up and blah, blah, blah.

Well… let me tell you a little something about that right now, something I came to learn the hard way in the last few days; when it comes to the matters of the heart, the mind is nothing but useless.

It's true; and I know this may sound sad and to a certain point pathetic, but the thing is that for all I tried, I just couldn't stop thinking about him.

Now don't you say I didn't try enough because I did; I put my mind hard into it, I disconnected from the outside world and for three consecutive days I forced myself into an extreme homemade treatment to detox my system of anything Phil related… it's just that… it didn't work.

I tried to use my mind as my biggest ally and most powerful weapon, but for every time I tried to convince my mind that I don't need him, I would wonder what he was doing; for every time I repeated to myself that I wouldn't miss him, I would glance at my phone to see if he called; and for every single moment I said out loud that I was better off without him, my eyes would tear up with the memory of his rare laugh and the way his secret touches would keep me high and alert during our nights together.

I told you it was sad, didn't I?

But what can I say? That's what he reduced me into. I'm just a shadow of my former self and seriously, who would believe that the Glamazon, the one that talks about being pinup strong, spent the last three days of her life in bed, lamenting and weeping over a broken heart.

Maybe I feel like this because it's too soon, I mean in three days I can't forget about someone that meant so much to me, right?

I just need to give myself some time and I'm sure that eventually, I won't live my days drowning in the memory of him.

So I don't know, maybe what I need to do is suck it up, hold my head up high and stop being such a whiner. Yes, that we are no more hurts in places no one can reach to heal me and most of the time I feel like his absence is overwhelming, but I just can't let this defeat me.

With that in mind and after my little retreat, I decided to get out of bed and face the world. The first person I called was Nattie. I had three missed calls from her and a few text messages I didn't care to check out.

I thought that talking to her was going to do me good, after all she is my friend and who better to help me crawl out of the hole I dug for myself than a true friend.

But, little did I know that talking to her was only going to make things worse. That was yesterday, the day before I took a plane headed to Europe for the WWE overseas tour.

Anyway, when I called her, the first thing she asked was what happened. I tried to play dumb because I didn't feel like talking about what happened, what I wanted was to talk about anything but that. But being the insistent person that she is she went ahead and asked how come she had to find out through the internet that her best friend and her boyfriend broke up.

You see, apparently, the twitter world took notice that I unfollowed Phil and Amy so the dirt sheets were reporting our demise… and the involvement of Amy in it. That right there took me by surprise, first because I didn't know people cared enough about something as trivial as my love life and second, because who the hells keeps track of who I follow or don't?

But that wasn't all, that was just the beginning of all. It's like this, before I could respond to that, Nattie told me that she talked to Phil and asked him about us and he said that he thought that I broke up with him…

Now let me repeat that, he thought that I ended things between us.

That right there hit me like a blow to the stomach and having no response and muttering something about packing for the Europe tour, I hung up on her so my brain could turn and swirl and process what she told me.

I'm still processing it, and today when I saw him at the hotel and he briefly glanced my way with those deep olive green eyes that I love with everything I have, I was still processing it.

Part of me started to think that I acted out of an impulse and that instead of telling him that I wanted to get my things out of his apartment, I should have told him that I wanted to talk things with him instead.

Maybe it was all a misunderstanding and by doing that I ruined everything. For hours that was all I could think off.

But then I got to the hotel and saw him walk as if he didn't even see me and another part of me knew that we were done before I made that call and that if he would have wanted to stay with me, he would have called to fix things.

He didn't; he didn't call, he didn't text me, he didn't send me an email or even a smoke signal. No, he didn't even talk to me earlier when he saw me at the hotel so that talks volumes about how much he cares.

What he did was take my call as the way out he has been looking for to be free.

That stung, I won't even try to deny it and one of the questions I asked in my mind over and over again while I lay in bed with no desire to feel was answered; no, he didn't miss me even half the way that I missed him.

I would have cried right there in the middle of the lobby, but by then I didn't have any more tears to give and instead of sorrow, what I felt was a big wave of desolation hitting me full force.

I was running on empty, I was tired of feeling so emotionally drained and taking in a deep breath I just got the key to my room and dragged myself to the elevator, thinking.

I don't even know how to explain the things that ran through my mind as soon as I lay my eyes on him; I just can say that seeing him so close made me realize that I didn't know what to do with my lips whenever they wanted to kiss him, or what would I do with my hands if they suddenly felt like begging him to come back to me. Worse of all, I didn't know what I would do with my nights… those awful nights when his essence seemed adamant of holding on to mine.

One thing was thinking about him while having him far, but now he's here… somewhere in this arena and that's an entirely different thing.

Biting hard on my lips, I grab a bottle of water from the catering table and open it, drinking the precious liquid from it as I put my legs into motion so they can carry back to the Divas' locker room.

Now, in this tour the only one I have to share this room with is Eve and since I saw her sitting near catering talking with some of the guys, I know I'll be on my own for now.

I like it this way, I don't feel like talking to anyone and besides, I need to clear my mind before stepping into the ring. It's true that the show is yet to start but with the way things are going for me, I have a lot of work to do with my mind.

Musing about that and taking another sip of water, I spot the door to the room I want to get into and when I reach it and open it, I see that there's someone already in.

It's Phil; he's sitting with his hands folded to his chest and his head thrown back against the wall opposite to the chair he's on.

For a few seconds I just look at him and I'm scared that my mind played an awful trick on me and that instead of opening the door to the Divas' locker room, I opened his.

Only that I didn't, I can see my bags and Eve's neatly placed inside the room and that's when I get it, he's the one who came here… to see me…

Feeling my mouth getting dry even though I just took a mouthful of water, I blink a couple of times, watching him.

"I thought you were going to get your things before coming here," He says, tilting his head up and looking straight into my eyes.

He went straight to the point with those words and I feel my jaw tensing. So much of me thinking that I rushed things by wanting to move out of his place.

"I was busy," I lie, but I wasn't going to his place if he was there… no way. I could have ended up begging him to give us another chance. "But if they bother you so much I'll get them first thing when I get back." I reply, and I must say that I'm proud that my voice didn't falter.

Phil shrugs, as if he really didn't care. "They don't bother me, but since you seem to be in such a hurry to move out I thought I should be nice enough to remind you."

Pushing the inside of my cheek with my tongue, I walk into the room and let the door close on its own. For a moment I don't know what to do so I grab the handle of my rolling suitcase and bring it closer. "Well thank you, I'll make sure not to forget about them."

After I say that, he just stares at me and swallowing on dry, I force myself to maintain my eyes on him. I don't want to let him know how weak I am for him… my pride is too strong to let that happen.

"So this is it, you are just going to walk out like this?"

Chuckling in disbelief, I run one of my hands through my hair and I shake my head. "Phil; I'm not walking out on anything. I'm just making your life a whole of a lot easier by giving you what you wanted but where afraid to ask, you wanted to push me away? Well, I'm out."

Licking his lips and shifting where he sat, Phil snorts bitterly and then he blinks. "Yeah, Beth… this is exactly what I wanted, for you to give me a call and out of nowhere tell me that you were moving out, thanks. Oh, and in case you didn't notice I was being sarcastic." He says, a bit too loud for my taste.

"No, don't try to turn the roles now and play victim here; for months you've been giving me the cold shoulder and you knew this was eventually going to happen. I know you Phil Brooks, and you knew that I wasn't going to sit around watching you drift away."

He doesn't give me a response to that and that's all the answer I need. That's when I now that he cowardly pushed him away so he wouldn't have to be the bad one that gave me the boot.

"See?" I say through clenched teeth and as I say it I realize that I'm mad at him.

I'm mad that he threw our relationship down the toilet without looking back. Yes, maybe I was the one who gave the first step to move on but if I did that was because he pushed me there.

"You know I care about you." He says, as if that was enough.

"No you don't, if you cared you would have come face to face with me to tell me that it was over. Because Phil, you knew it was over a long time ago and it was that way because you wanted it to be that way."

As soon as I finish saying that I realize that I'm also speaking a bit too loud. Maybe people can hear us outside so I take in a deep breath and close my eyes.

I don't want to end this in a fight. I don't want to taint what he had with a stupid argument that would lead us nowhere.

"Maybe I would have told you if it wasn't because you turn every single conversation into a fucking fight."

Snorting, I bit on my lips and blink the itching that's taking over my eyes. "Well…" I say almost in a whisper. "You said it right there… now don't go saying this was a decision I made because you know it wasn't."

Getting up to his feet, Phil's eyes turn a shade darker and he starts to make his way to the door. "You know, fuck this."

At his words I feel mad… I just can't help it and not thinking before speaking, I yell after him. "Yeah, walk away Phil, maybe you should take the next flight to Atlanta so you can be with your good friend Amy. Maybe she can comprehend you better than I did."

Turning around and looking down on me, Phil shakes his head and chuckles. "So this is all about that, uh? I just knew it. Well, let me tell you this, there's nothing between Amy and me… not that you would believe it anyway."

"Oh come on…"

"No, no… I mean I have a reputation to live in right? So let's just assume that I just fucked her while doing her stupid radio show!"

"Just go away, Phil, I don't want to listen to you." I say and I even put my hands on his chest to push him away.

Now, it's not like I shoved him so he doesn't even move and taking my hands away from him I try to turn on him. If he doesn't leave, then I will.

I don't think I can survive this with my emotions intact and I don't want to crumble down in front of him. I mean I can already feel my eyes watering and crying is the last thing I want to do while he watches me.

"No, you want me to talk about this so let's talk. You want to know what your problem is?" He asks in a hiss, grabbing me by the arm and fixing the intensity of his eyes in mine. "You are so set up into believing that I was going to screw up the first thing with a skirt that at the end that's the only thing you could think of. Every single thing I did had a double meaning to you and…"

"That's not true," I interrupt him and I can feel a couple of angry tears sliding down my cheeks. "I walked into this trusting you more than I trusted anyone and if I started to doubt was because you started to push me away. Or what? For how long did you want me to warm up your bed while you were out 'working out'? and for how long did you wanted me to believe all the excuses you threw my way every time I tried to touch you? I'm not stupid Phil, and that I love you doesn't mean that I have to settle for less."

Once that's out of my chest, I wipe at my eyes. I know it's useless, there's no way he hadn't notice that my eyes are leaking.

"I never cheated on you; not that you would believe me anyway. I mean why trust me, right? It was easier to walk out like you did."

"And what did you expect? I couldn't keep waiting for you to notice me… even if there was no other woman, if you cared like you said you did you would have notice that you were hurting me with your indifference and that even though you say I turned everything into a fight, I always ended up doing whatever you wanted me to do.

Biting on my lips and lifting a hand to his face, I place my hand over his cheek and then it slowly slides down to his chest. Maybe this is the last time I will have him this close so I'm letting myself indulge in this little act.

"I would have done anything for you, Phil… you know that-" I still would… he always had that over me and I guess that part of me will always succumb to anything he wants; it was like that even when we were just friends and it would probably be like that even if we go on to be nothing at all. "But I couldn't sit and see you being with me if you didn't love me anymore."

Phil blows out a breath and I close my eyes. He is not saying that he still loves me and even though I wasn't expecting him to do so, I still feel my heart withering and dying inside my chest.

"Believe it or not I do care about you and I didn't want things to end like this." He mumbles, his fingertips tracing the wet path my tears left in my cheeks.

His touch is so soft… differing greatly from the roughness of his usual attitude.

"I didn't want that either." But they did. It's okay, someday I'll learn to live without him… maybe.

Lowering his head and getting so close that I can feel his breath caressing my lips, Phil slides his hand to the back of my head and he lets it run it down my hair as he speaks. "I always thought you deserved better than me. Maybe you'll get it now."

With that said, he kisses the corner of my lips and before I would even think of turning my head to kiss him full in the mouth, he pulls away and turns around to leave.

I watch him as in a trance, thinking that there could be lots better than him in essence, but the one my heart and body wants it's him…