I look back at him curiously and pick up my plate before depositing it and following him out the door. What does he mean "let's go for a walk"? Is something wrong? When did he get back? And if he got back recently, then why is there already an issue with me?

Was he thinking of me while he was gone? That question grips at my head and it hurts because I already know the answer.

While we walk in silence, I notice traces of a wide cut on his neck and slight bruises on his arms.

"Where have you been?" I blurt out. Obviously, whatever Abnegation manners were instilled into me back when I was younger have dispersed into thin air.

He stops and turns around to face me, and I wonder if it was the wrong thing to ask, but he just leans in close to my face—so close that I can feel my cheeks get warm—and menacingly whispers, "Somewhere dangerous."

We stop near the Chasm and stand next to railings, listening to the water crash violently against the rock walls. Though, I can't really think much outside of how much I want to wrap my arms around Four and feel his grip on my shoulders again. That hasn't happened in a long time either. His black hair, although still short, has grown a little longer and is starting to curl around his ears.

Without looking at me, Four leans on the rail and simply states, "It's been a while, huh?" He's assuming the tone of an instructor, and it bugs me.

"Yeah." I answer, crossing my arms.

"How have you been?"

"Okay." I actually want to be the one interrogating him right now, but since he's been "somewhere dangerous" I guess I'll let him disclose whatever information he's willing, or allowed, to let out.

"I missed you," he says quietly, finally turning to look at me. He voice becomes sweeter, more like him.

That took me by surprise. I try to gaze back, but after living so long without his blue eyes, I feel crippled and turn away. So much for bravery. Red floods into my cheeks and I cover them with my hands. He missed me. He missed me.

"I missed you too," I whisper almost inaudibly over the rush of the water. I'm staring down at the floor and sense movement in his position. He stands up and walks closer to me so that we're only a few inches apart.

"Hey, look at me," he says. I feel his fingers wrap around my chin and lift my gaze up to his. Too close. He brushes a strand of hair out of my face and tucks it gently behind my ear.

I grasp his wrist and softly squeeze it. "When did you get back?" I ask.

"This morning."

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" My voice sounds almost bitter to me, and probably to him too.

"I'm sorry," he says rubbing circles on my cheek. "It wasn't something I could be open about and one day they called me over and told me I needed to go."

"Okay." I'm not okay with that answer really, but I don't care. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his chest. The smell of a musty shirt fills my nose and his hands slide comfortingly up and down my back. We stand there in silence for a few minutes until eventually he says, "I'll make it up to you."

"How?" My shoulders stiffen. Him taking me to his dorm suddenly fills my mind and nothing but tension wells up in my stomach. The thought makes me…scared.

"You choose," he answers with a courageous smirk. Of course he would say that. He's from Abnegation. My body relaxes.

"First, tell me where you got your bruises and cuts from." He shoots me a questioning look, his lips tightening into a straight line. "I know they're there," I persist. "There's a big cut on the back of your neck and some bruises on your arms." I look at him expectantly but he just shakes his head. He can't. I guess it's related to his secret mission. That's annoying. I try to suppress the anger in my face. "Come on, it's been two months. The least you could do is tell me where you've been." My voice still bites. His face remains placid, expressionless, but I can tell the memories are replaying under the surface in his eyes. I push him away and glare.

"You wouldn't want to know." An icy frost creeps over his eyes as the words dangle from his lips. The tone sounds threatening almost, and I decide not to push further. It hurts that he still keeps secrets from me. But maybe we've always been like that. Keeping little things from each other in fear of hurting each other. I sigh heavily. Not anymore, I think as I pull him in again. He rests his forehead on mine and closes his eyes. I feel the cut on his neck, the scar brushing roughly under my fingers. He doesn't flinch. He just hugs me tighter. "I really did miss you," he murmurs.

The air feels warm, despite standing over the relentless waters, and even the dimness of the cave seems a little brighther. No secrets. "I know how you can make it up to me."

He pulls his face away to look at me, his eyes now curious and almost…determined. Maybe he felt sorry for leaving while he was gone. "Help me get through my fear landscape."

The excitement fell from his face. "Tris, I've already done that with you."

"You've watched me. Never experienced it with me. And besides, I have a new fear that you haven't seen." I don't think at least. He raises an eyebrow and shrugs. He looks disappointed but he doesn't know about how scared I am of wanting him. Of being with him. That's a secret I've kept from him ever since initiation and now he'll know.