Scully sighed as she finally opened the door. She had been expecting him. She knew that the conversation in the bull pen this afternoon would not be the last time they spoke on the matter. She knew that he would not fully accept her leaving. She stood in the doorway not allowing him to enter the apartment. She knew that she couldn't let him in because he would not go until she conceded. She had to strengthen her resolve to stick to her immediate plan.
Fundamentally she had to get away from this man. He was dangerous for her. She was scared for her sanity. She had followed this man for 6 years as his friend and companion. He had a way of gravitating everything to him - everything about him reeled her into him. His handsome looks, his boyish manners his intense gazes the way he made her smile laugh out loud on rare occasions. She had been his friend for years and he had this effect on her.
She had only recently started to accept her feelings for him but she couldn't help wondering if she was prepared to die for him, prepared to sacrifice everything for him as merely his friend what would she be prepared to do as his lover? She didn't like the idea of delving into that Pandora's box. Like Pandora's box it would be full to the brim with nothing but pain and despair. Surely the small glimmer, the tiny orb of hope that was left in the bottom would not be enough to outweigh the darkness? She didn't want to contemplate it. All she knew was that with the simplest of actions he had betrayed her with another woman, he had stood with Diana instead of her. In that action Scully had felt like anything that she had done to prove herself to him in the last 6 years had disappeared. Now she was left with the choice to preserve the last vestiges of her dignity and her heart by walking away. She no longer felt any loyalty to this man. He didn't deserve it.
He looked surprised at her as he moved forward to step into her apartment and was blocked at the door. His eyebrows shot up so far that they were in danger of getting lost in the soft brown hair that hung slightly above his forehead. "Are you kidding me? You want to do this in the hallway?"
She was dressed in her grey jogging bottoms and a black fitted racer top. Her thick, red hair was lazily clipped back with tendrils softly falling around her face and neck. No makeup. He thought she looked beautiful at that moment as her blues eyes gazed softly at him with quiet resignation. She suddenly looked very tired.
"I don't want to do anything at all Mulder. I said everything that I needed to say to you today in the office. I have nothing further to say to you."
"This conversation is not over," he glowered quietly," I can't believe you have done this. Like this! I had to find out from Skinner that you were transferring. One thing that I have always admired about you Scully is that you have more balls than everyone I know but you didn't dare say it to my face. That you were leaving me."
She balked at this insult. "Mulder, I followed you for 6 years and was nothing but loyal to you. You had the opportunity to reciprocate that loyalty numerous times over the last couple of weeks. What do you? You ditch me every chance you get - I give you evidence that your allies are not who they say they are. You chose the side against me."
"Scully - I get it you don't like Diana. You gave me circumstantial evidence and meshed it to fit in with your view of her! You were being unreasonable." He had not told her that he fully intended to follow up and confront Diana over her accusations. Unfortunately Scully was hitting a sore spot with him in regards to his ex wife. He was still loyal to Diana not wanting to believe that she had betrayed him.
Scully stood in shock her mouth opened once or twice. Her beautiful Azure eyes flashed dangerously and she folded her arms across her chest.
"Circumstantial evidence?" She whispered incredulously. "How many times have I followed you blindly on a wild goose chase based on nothing more than a badly doctored photo or a whispered instruction from an untrustworthy shadow? That is absolutely worth pursuing with not a second thought but I give you a sound theory based on observation of facts about this woman and I am being unreasonable to say that I don't trust her?" She threw her hands in frustration.
Mulder sighed frustrated with her and rolled his eyes but couldn't deny with a pang that she had a point. Her damn rationalism and intelligence had been the bane of his working life for the last 6 years. He had told her the truth those months ago before that damn bee had stung her that she had saved him. As each year had passed it had peeved him that he had to concede on quite a few occasions that his impulse and cavalier attitude had got him into quite a few scrapes and she had been there to get him out of them. Where it had been annoying at first when he had accepted her reluctantly as his partner, now he depended on it. He depended on her.
It hurt him that she was walking away. More so that she had done it without telling him. Although he knew why she had done it this way. She knew that he would fight and try to bully her or guilt her into staying. He couldn't let her go. Not now after he had started to accept his feelings and had started to act on them. He had begun to hope that she felt the same way as him. He had hoped that the blushes he had seen when she caught him staring at her lost in thought meant that she had felt a connection. He had dared to hope that the times they had spent sat on the sofa chatting and eating a take away late on a Friday night, files forgotten on the coffee table, as they talked about everything and nothing, had meant as much to her as it had to him. He had to tell her that he loved her. He had to salvage this mess.
Scully was desperately losing the battle to keep her cool with him and she hated the fact that they were having this intense, low argument in her hallway. She envisioned her neighbours with their ears to their doors listening to the two agents throw low blows at each other.
"What it boils down to Mulder is that I am simply and will always be like a loyal dog to you!" She spat, Mulder winced as her words cut through him. "I cannot work with you any more. You have lost my trust. I can't even look at you right now." She could feel the tears swimming in her eyes threatening to spill over.
She grabbed the door to slam it in his face but he blocked it with his foot. "No, Scully. I won't let this be the end. Please I can't do this without you." He grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand off the door. His hand slipped into hers as his eyes pleaded with her.
"Scully, I don't want to lose you. You're wrong, you mean everything to me please believe me. I love you." He pulled her close to him. He snaked his arm around her waist and lent in to kiss her. Their lips met, soft and salty. Her hot salty tears ran in runnels down her face as she yielded to his kiss. Her breath hitched as his soft lips moved against hers. She could feel herself capitulating to him, her heart hammering against her chest. It was what she had not dared to hope for many months now. The secret that she had kept close to her heart about her feelings. Feelings that she shouldn't be feeling for him. She had not dared to hope that he reciprocated. When you moved past the innuendos and the overt flirting she had hoped that there was more than the playful need he had to embarrass her and make her blush. She had indulged the idea that there was affection and love behind his actions. She had many times imagined his strong arms around her like they were now pulling her closer to his toned body. The smell of him filling her senses.
It suddenly occurred to her that it was empty and not real. She felt with certainty, no, she suddenly knew that Mulder was using this against her as a last attempt ditch to keep her with him. To keep her in his world. He must have known about her feelings. He must have watched her over many months react to his innuendos and playful teasing. He was a profiler. That is what he did; he would get into someone's mind and understand them better than they knew themselves. He would have watched her blush, watched her eyes dilate when she saw him maybe even notice the fact that she had been flirting more than she had ever done. This was his last weapon that he had in his arsenal against her. She was also sure that of all the people he wanted in his life she was not even a close second to Diana. The thought had pierced her like a hot lance through her chest.
And in that instance she felt her heart break. She suddenly realised why it was called a broken heart. She physically felt her heart splinter in half. She felt her lungs burn as she struggled to breathe. The pain was beyond anything that she had felt in her life.
She roughly pushed away from him. The kiss had lasted 30 seconds but she felt as if she had been there for an eternity. "No, No!" Her muffled protests made Mulder pull away. He had felt his heart leap when she had accepted his kiss. He had not thought about it, he had simply reacted to the touch of their lips. It had felt so right, he had imagined it a million times kissing those beautiful plump lips and it had surpassed his wildest fantasies. Although he was sorry that she was crying even the saltiness of her tears had just added to the pure sensuality of it.
He opened his eyes in surprise as she struggled against him. When he looked down at her in confusion he recoiled and let go of her hand. Her eyes were filled with the deepest anguish. Her face was contorted with pain that he had never seen on any living creature and would never wish to. Her eyes showed a pain beyond anything that he could every imagine. She was sobbing uncontrollably. "Sc-cully, what-" He whispered in horror.
"You have broken my heart." She mouthed barely audible, her tears cascading over her eyelashes and dripping off her defined jaw line. She stood back gulping deep breaths to stabilise her breathing and regain her composure for a split second.
She grabbed the door handle and faced him, with pure venom in her voice, "If you ever touch me again I will make sure you can't have children either."
Mulder stood in the hallway staring at the door that had been slammed in his face.