The sky was beautiful; lit up with pinks, blues, oranges, and yellows, all complementing each other and swirling around in a pattern that made my breath catch.

I watched, captivated, as the light and colour of the sky slowly lightened from the darkness of night to the early beauty of the morning.

It was 4 am.

I always got up this early to watch this.

There was something amazing about seeing the sunrise that entranced me. Maybe it was because it was almost immediately eclipsed by the white clouds. Maybe it was because there was only a fleeting moment of beauty before it was suddenly hidden by the cloudy day that is regular for Forks.

I sighed, and let the curtain fall, hiding the beautiful image.

I had to have a shower, get dressed and then I had plans to see Jake before school.

It was a tradition that we had started years ago; Jake and I would start every second day of the new semester by going to La Push and sitting on the beach, then going to Pancake House for breakfast.

It was our way of kicking off the new school year, a way to celebrate the fact that we were one step closer to our senior year.

I checked my phone. Jake would be here in about…twenty minutes. If I rushed the shower…

Ten minutes later I was stepping out of the shower, dripping wet and shivering in a thin black towel. I shivered as I stumbled over to my phone, the burn of the hot water no longer keeping me warm.

4.20 AM.

I had spent around eight minutes; I had just enough time to get dressed and drag a comb through my hair if I hurried, but that was about it, I thought wryly as I hurried. Jake was certainly not the most patient man in the world.

I had just finished dragging my jeans on when I heard Jake's engine pull up. A small smile spread across my face at the sound.

Jake drove an old Ute; it was his father's before him and the only car his father had permitted him to have. Jake had always despised the Ute, dreaming and saving up for a Toyota, but secretly I preferred the Ute. I couldn't tell you why, but I had always loved it. Something about the black, the darkness that the paint implied, drew me in.

"Bells!" Jake boomed, appearing at my door and effectively bringing me out of my musing.

He bounded across the room and swept me up in a big hug, not seeming to mind the cold water droplets that flung desperately onto his shirt, creating dark patches.

I felt a laugh escape my throat at the familiarity of his over exuberance. "Hey, Jake."

"I missed you." He angled my head up, warm hands pressing on the skin under my chin, to look into his melting eyes. They were so different from –

No.

"I missed you too."

His lips were closer to mine now, and I shut my eyes tightly, anticipating what was to come. A second later his lips gently brushed mine, ever so slightly, warm and tender and totally mine. I felt myself warm into the kiss, slowly responding to his amorous mouth and easing my tongue into it. His tongue met mine and slowly massaged it with the tip, and then he slid his tongue back to glide over the inside of my lips, brushing against my teeth.

Jake's hands moved from my shoulder blades down to my waist, holding me against him. He moved one hand under my shirt, to my back, massaging in slow, lazy circles.

I felt the atmosphere begin to get heavy and I sighed, knowing I would have to end this soon.

As if Jacob had read my mind, he pulled away, grinning bitterly at me. He knew very well the boundaries I had set up.

"I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"No problem," I responded. He had no idea how tight he wound me; sometimes…my body ached to throw him down and show him the passion he deserved.

I could never tell him that. My feelings of suppressed passion and need, if brought to light, would only encourage Jacob, pushing him to further the boundaries I had set up and making him cross the line.

And if he crossed the line...

I couldn't explain why I didn't want that. There really was no reason as to why not, logically. There was no one I was saving myself for, no issues that stopped me, no bad history, nothing.

But it was like my mind and my heart were holding me back, keeping me grounded, being rational and safe, weighing and analysing everything, and more often than not, actually killing the mood entirely.

Jake smiled at me understandingly.

I was lucky to have a person like him who understood how I felt about a physical relationship. It wasn't that I was a prude, I was just cautious. I had been raised to be responsible and although Jake loved that about me and never said anything to rebut my views, or convince me otherwise, I know he wished that sometimes I would just let loose.

I never told him, but I yearned for the same thing.

The difference between us was he thought I never would, while I wasn't sure.

"Come on, Bella, let's go."

I eagerly followed him out the door, grabbing my backpack and a granola bar as I went. We would eventually be filling our bodies with pancakes in a few hours at the Pancake House as per tradition, but I needed something to sustain me until we got there. After all, it was only 4.30 in the morning.

The drive to First Beach was short and full of chatter. We caught up about my week, his week, what we had been up to. The conversation was light, easy, comfortable to steer. When I was with Jake, I felt fine; sunny, happy, and complete. They were the best words I could come up with to sum up how I felt whenever I spent time with my boyfriend.

But I had always been yearning for more. Somewhere along the way, I had slowly come to realize that I wanted to push boundaries. I didn't want to be the designated driver, the go–to girl, the one known as always playing it safe.

That wasn't who I was, despite everything that concurred– my father, Jake, my own sense of responsibility to them. I knew, deep inside me, that I was wild, untamed. I just needed the right somebody to unleash it.

And deep down, I also knew that Jake wasn't the one to do that. It was a secret that I kept close to my heart, destined to be whispered only at the dead of night when I was the only one awake. Never to be breathed into anyone living's ears.

I wanted the real me to be known before I could fall into a pattern of being someone who I wasn't for the rest of my life.

It wasn't too long before Jake and I were sitting on the rocks, staring out at the turbulent ocean. When I commented on the rough conditions, Jake told me that a storm was clearly coming in later, judging by the choppiness and craziness of the waves.

I smiled at him, thinking how proud he was of his family and his heritage, how different he was from the boys that went to my school.

I knew that Jake took his home and heritage very seriously. Both his mother and father were Quileute, although his mother had died when he was young. He had the same russet silky skin, black shiny hair, and strong build that all of the Quileute Indian boys possessed.

There were lots of rules and tribe meetings with the Quileutes, and though I was never told anything about it – despite asking Jake repeatedly – I knew that Jake's father, Billy, and Harry Clearwater, another elder from the reservation who had a daughter my age, Leah Clearwater, were the joint chiefs of the Indian tribe.

"So, Bella how was your day yesterday? I forgot to ask you," Jake said to me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

I shrugged. It had mostly been the same: greetings from teachers, students, explanations of the year's events…

"Long."

He grinned. He knew I didn't like to talk about school that much and I hardly ever mentioned how my day went or how I was feeling at the end of it. I didn't like to bring up school with him; I felt I should keep the two worlds separate. And if he ever asked, which he didn't, I would simply use my wit to distract him. School wasn't a good thing, in fact it was downright boring, but I was dedicated to it. I just had this year to go, and then I would be free, doing whatever I wanted and heading off to whatever college I chose.

"Okay." Jake knew when I had reached my tolerance limit, and he backed down, sensing I was in no mood to be pushed. I appreciated that about him.

"What about you, handsome?" I teased, swatting his chest. "Get into any trouble with Quil?"

Jake laughed heartily, his whole body shaking with deep laughter. The force of it made me shake a little. "You know it, Bells," he teased back. "We're just juvenile delinquents. Hanging around us is going to get you into trouble, little girl."

I chuckled. Jake always knew how to make me laugh.

Falling in with the familiar banter, I added "Hmm, maybe I should stay away from you then," pretending to make a move to get up and walk away.

His arm shot out and pulled me back down next to him protectively. "I don't think so, Bella. You're mine."

He grinned up at me, his white teeth sparkling in the slowly rising sun. I smiled, happy to see him so happy.

Jake was like my own personal ray of sunshine, his happiness was infectious.

At Pancake House, the waitress that served us flirted incessantly with Jake, and only backed off when I growled at her. She had shot me a look of disdain and flounced off, most likely to tell her co-workers all about 'the crazy bitch that growled at me.' It was probably going to be her story of the year.

Of course, Jake thought that the growling sounds I had made were the funniest things ever. I didn't find the humour in it, but he kept growling at me all the way back to school. I didn't have the heart to tell him that, though.

I was still laughing at his antics when we pulled into the school parking lot. Jake cut the engine and turned to me.

"Have a good day, all right?"

There was a serious message behind the seemingly caring words. Jake cared about me and my wellbeing; I knew he was telling me to not be so down about school for once.

"I will." I would try.

I leaned in to kiss him square on the lips.

"Good. I'll see you this weekend, yeah?" He asked casually, after he had ended the kiss, as if it was no big deal.

My eyes widened. This weekend? It was Tuesday! I didn't think I could handle not seeing him for another three days, especially when I had hardly any friends at school, just my little group. It would be torture.

"What? Why?"

"Oh, you know…I'll be busy, I have a big football game coming up and we're practising like mad. I'll be training every day of this week after school. I'm so sorry Bella, but I promise I'll see you this weekend, and make it up to you, okay?" His big puppy dog eyes were pleading with me to understand, to accept his apology.

I sighed, and smiled at him. I knew I would accept his apology, and be grateful that he could see me on Saturday. He had a lot going on. "I get it. Don't worry, I'll see you then."

Jake smiled, relieved and thankful. I knew then that it had been the right thing to say. "I knew you would, Bella."

I smiled and nodded, but his words ticked away inside my head. What did that mean? Was he perhaps suggesting that he always knew I would accept whatever excuse he threw at me; that I would just roll over for him whenever he wanted me to?

No. I pushed that insidious thought away. It wasn't fair to him.

Jake's groan brought me out of my thoughts. "Oh, look who it is."

I followed Jake's disdainful gaze and saw Jessica talking to Mike near the entrance to the school. She looked very animated and was waving her hands around, while Mike looked uncomfortable and kept glancing around, clearly hoping for a distraction.

It always pained me to see Jessica and Mike talking. Jessica was deeply interested in him, clearly showing it with her body language and facial expressions, while Mike clearly did not return her unrequited interest, instead pushing his affections onto me, which I certainly did not return. It also upset me because Jessica was always trying to set me up with new boys so I never had time to be actively interested in Mike, despite the fact I would never go for Mike, and Mike resented her for trying to play matchmaker. It was a vicious cycle.

I wished Jessica would see how much she was ruining her chances with Mike by her own actions, and I wished Mike would see that I was definitely not interested and just ask Jessica out.

"Be nice," I hissed.

Jake snorted. "Sure, sure."

He was clearly saying it just to pacify me, because he knew as well as I did that nothing could make Jessica and himself friends. Their different personalities and opinions of each other were just too strong and dominant to bring themselves to make nice.

I tried to kiss Jake again, partly to distract him and partly because I wasn't ready to let him leave, but he suddenly jerked upright, his attention caught again by something outside of the windshield.

"Who's that?"

I turned my head, curious and to be honest, more than a little annoyed to see what, or more accurately who, had Jake's attention this time. I was getting a little sick of all the interruptions.

Edward Cullen.

Edward was standing with his sister Alice, against his sleek black Mercedes, two spaces away, and she was looking intently in our direction.

Or more importantly, in my direction.

Edward had his head tilted up and was looking into the heavens, seeming not to notice anything around him.

"Who is that?" Jake repeated, stroking his hand across my neck. I couldn't be positive, from this distance, but it looked like Alice's eyes narrowed at his gesture, just the tiniest bit.

"Alice and Edward Cullen. They're new. They started yesterday." I stated off a one-sided introduction to Jake.

"The car is nice."

"Yeah." The Merc stood out amongst all the other cars, looking extravagant next to most of the shit models some kids had.

Jake was sizing up Edward through the car, his muscles flexing in a show of machismo.

I wanted to roll my eyes. Forget Alice, Jake was already trying to prove dominance over Edward, even though he had only been here a day. The whole competing for alpha male thing was what had Jake on edge.

Typical teenager boys. The whole thing was ridiculous.

"What's the deal with their eyes?"

I shrugged noncommittally. I didn't know, but it did intrigue me. I had never seen that color in my life before. "No idea. They must have unique genetics, or something."

"What a weird shade of violet," Jake mused, still looking at the siblings.

"You think it's violet? I was leaning more towards a dark blue," I stated, puzzled. I squinted closer at Alice and did see, indeed, that her eye colour was more violet than blue.

"Hm, I don't know. I've never seen it before in my life, that's for sure. Are they nice kids?"

I shrugged again. They hadn't spoken a word to me. Poutiness was beginning to take over me.

"I guess. They haven't talked to me."

It was clearly the response Jake wanted, because he turned to me with a smile and gently kissed me on the lips. I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw his eyes flickering towards Edward and Alice's general direction while we were kissing.

Finally he pulled away and grinned at me. "Get out of this car before I pull you down, hold your arms over your head, and ravage you!"

The words were joking but had a serious meaning underlying them. I stiffened. I felt the smile slide off my face as I said seriously. "I hope you were joking, Jake."

He looked up at the roof of the car and took a deep breath before answering. The mood in the car had suddenly changed from joking and teasing to serious, in a matter of seconds.

"You know I wouldn't, Bella."

I just nodded as I got out of the car. Did we just have a mini argument? So few words were spoken, and it was hard to tell. But the atmosphere had felt too heavy to be just normal play.

My mouth felt dry.

I raised my hand and waved as the car reversed and sped out of the parking lot, but I wasn't sure if Jacob noticed the gesture, because suddenly Edward and Alice were walking straight past me, and my eyes were glued to them.

They didn't acknowledge me at all.