AN: Okay, so I had to Ozify a few things here, like the word Bohemian, and the names of those jewelry companies that are listed in the song. For the first case, my brain came up with the following train of thought:
Beau, in French, is pronounced as bo.
Elphaba is beautifully tragic.
Nessarose is tragically beautiful.
Bohemian.
Boho.
Beauhemian.
Beauho.
And for the jewelry companies, I used some Celtic names, except in the case of Black Star, and you'll see what that became when you get there. Also, I did try to Ozify the name of the village, Montmarte, but I couldn't come up with anything, so I just kept the original name. Same goes for the word French at the opening of the song, when she says, "The French are glad to die for love." And, also, I figured that, hey, absinthe is absinthe where ever you are, so I kept that name, too.
Anyway, yeah, just wanted to get that out of the way. Also, there is going to be one line of song lyrics that are underlined, and that indicates that it's Diggs/Zidler.
I came to the Emerald City one year ago. It was 1899, the summer of love. I knew nothing of the Moulin Verte, Oscar Diggs, or Elphaba. The world had been swept up in Beauhemian revolution, and I had traveled from the Vinkus to be a part of it. In the Lower Quarter of the City was the "village" of Montmarte. It was not as my great-aunt had said.
"A village of sin!"
But the center of the Beauhemian world! Musicians, painters, writers! They were known as "The Children of the Revolution." Yes, I had come to live a penniless existence. I had come to write about truth, beauty, freedom, and that which I believed in above all things: Love.
"Always this ridiculous obsession with love!"
There was only one problem:
I had never been in love!
Luckily, right at that moment, an unconscious Quadling fell through my roof. He was quickly joined by a Munchkin dressed as a maunt.
"How do you do? My name is Boq!"
"What?" Fiyero asked in confusification. The Munchkin gestured wildly. "I'm terribly sorry about all this, we were just upstairs rehearsing a play," he said. The crease in Fiyero's brow only deepened. "What?" he repeated.
A play! Something very modern called Spectacular Spectacular.
"And it's set in Ugabu," the Munchkin added.
Unfortunately, the unconscious Quadling suffered from a sickness called Narcolepsy.
Fiyero got up to have a look at the Quadling, and the Munchkin seated himself in the chair that Fiyero had just vacated. "Perfectly fine one moment," the Munchkin said, "then suddenly," he let out a snore, "unconscious the next." He laughed.
"How is he?" a voice asked. Fiyero looked up. Three other faces had appeared in the hole made by the Quadling. "How wonderful," one of the others said, "now the Narcoleptic Quadling is unconscious, and therefore the scenario will not be finished in time to present to the financer tomorrow!"
"Right, Boq, I still have to finish the music!"
"We'll just find someone to read the part!"
"Now where in Lurline's name are we going to find someone to read the role of the young, sensitive, Ugabian poet goatheard?"
And then, suddenly, all eyes were on a very confusified Fiyero.
Before I knew it, I was upstairs standing in for the unconscious Quadling.
"The hills are ablaze with the euphonious symphonies of descant!"
"Stop, stop! Stop, stop, stop!" Tibbett cried, getting up and going over to Dryxen, who was seated at the horribly out-of-tune piano. "That insufferable droning is drowning out my words!" Tibbett exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air dramatically. "Could we please just stick to a little decorative piano?!"
There seemed to be artistic differences over Tibbett's lyrics to Dryxen's style.
"I don't think a nun would say that about a hill," Astalebaen said bluntly. Dryxen snapped his fingers. "What if," he said, "he sings, 'the hills are vital in toning the descant?'" Boq leapt up, waving his arms around. "No, no!" he shouted. "'The hills quake and shake!'"
"No, no, no, no. "The hills...tone..."
The Quadling woke up suddenly and blurted out, "The hills are incanate with symphonic melodies!" And then he promptly passed out again.
Everyone started talking at once, and all Fiyero could make out anymore was "the hills," although at one point, he could've sworn he heard Dryxen shout, "Frankie is living in my foot!" whatever that meant.
Fiyero had something, and he thought it was rather good, but he couldn't get a word in edgewise. Finally, not knowing what else to do, he just belted it out as if it were already a song.
"The hills are alive with the sound of music!"
And everything fell silent as they all stared up at him in wonder. Damn, but he could sing!
And then the Quadling woke up. Again.
"The hills are alive with the sound of music? I love it!" he announced. Fiyero let out the breath he'd been holding. "The hills are alive..."
"...with the sound..."
"...of music. It fits perfectly."
Gathering some encouragement from this, Fiyero kept going. "With songs they have sung for a thousand years."
Everyone let out a cry of excitement. Boq jumped up again. "It's perfect!" he shouted. "Tibbett! You two should write it together!" Tibbett put one hand on his hip and the other against his chest, obviously offended by this. "Excuse you?" he demanded.
Boq's suggestion that Tibbett and I write the show together was definishly not what Tibbett wanted to hear.
"Goodbye!"
The door slammed, and Tibbett was gone.
"Here's to your first job in the City!" Boq said, taking a gulp of absinthe. "Boq," Dryxen said, "Diggs will never agree." Turning to Fiyero, he asked, "No offense, but have you ever written something like this before?" Fiyero looked at him, completely lost, and shook his head.
"Bah!" the Quadling shouted. "The boy has talent!" He stood up, throwing his arms out to the sides, one hand landing directly on top of Fiyero's "special area," since he was still up on the ladder. Fiyero gasped, his eyes widening. "I like him!" the Quadling announced. Then, noticing where his hand was, he pulled it away and quickly added with a nervous laugh, "Er, nothing funny! I just like the talent."
Boq and the others got into a huddle while Fiyero struggled to hear what they were saying. "'The hills are alive with the sound of music,'" Boq whispered. "See, Dryxen? With Fiyero, we can write the truly Beauhemian revolutionary show that we've always dreamed of!"
"But how will we convince Diggs?" Dryxen asked.
But Boq had a plan.
Fiyero managed to catch a few whispered words, such as:
"...Elphaba..."
Fiyero frowned. "Elphaba?" he muttered. They all looked at him, and he flashed a nervous grin.
They would dress me in the Quadling's best suit and pass me off as a famous Vinkun writer. Once Elphaba had read my modern poetry, she would be astounded and insist to Diggs that I write Spectacular Spectacular. The only problem was, I kept hearing my great-aunt's voice
"You'll end up wasting your life at the Moulin Verte with a showgirl!"
"I can't write for the Moulin Verte!" Fiyero blurted out in a slight panic. He ran to the hole in the floor and started descending the ladder back down to his own room, but the others ran and stopped him. "Why not?!" Boq demanded. Looking up at him with his eyebrows knitted together over his eyes, Fiyero said, "I don't even know if I'm a true Beauhemian revolutionary!" They all pulled back slightly. "What?!" they shouted, obviously shocked by this statement. "Do you believe in truth?!" Boq asked. Fiyero nodded. "Beauty?!" the Quadling added, and again, Fiyero nodded. "Freedom?!" Dryxen asked. Again, Fiyero nodded in response. And then, from Astalebaen:
"Love?!"
He froze. "Love?" he repeated. "Love...Above all things, I believe in love. Love is like oxygen, love is a many-splendored thing, love...lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!"
They all cried out. "We can't be fooled!" they shouted, pulling him up out of the hole. "You see?! You can't fool us! You're the Voice of the Children of the Beauhemian Revolution!"
It was the perfect plan. I was to be introduced to Elphaba. And I would taste my first glass of...absinthe.
The rest of the night was, in all honesty, a blur. He remembered a green drink, a green fairy with glowing red eyes that had let out a blood-curdling shriek, and then, suddenly, he was in the Moulin Verte among the throngs.
Oscar Diggs and his infamous girls. They called him his...
Diamond Dogs.
Fiyero and the boys found themselves all mixed up in the crowd, dancing with these girls in ruffly skirts and too much cleavage showing. Girls couldn't get away with that where he came from. In the Vinkus, at least in the town where he'd lived with his great-aunt, you either covered your boobies, or you stayed indoors, dammit, and no exceptions, especially with Fiyero's Aunt Becuma in town. But here, these girls were just letting it all hang out, quite literally, and all but shoving it into his face, which he did not particularly care for, in all honesty.
Finally, they made it to a little table. "Mission accomplished!" Boq said. "We've successfully evaded Diggs!"
Then, suddenly and out of literally nowhere, everything darkened, got quiet, and everybody looked up. Sparkles and smoke came down from above onto everybody's heads. "It's her," Boq whispered to Fiyero. "The Sparkling Emerald!"
Perched on a trapeze that was being lowered from the ceiling was a girl with raven black hair tucked up underneath her glittering tophat. She wore a glittering silver-and-black leotard with black satin opera gloves that went up to her elbows, and black high heels. Fiyero wasn't sure in the dim light, but he thought he saw that her lips were coated in glossy red lipstick. And her skin was emerald green. He couldn't look away. Was this what people meant by love at first sight, he wondered?
"The French are glad to die for love.
They delight in fighting duels..."
But someone else was to meet Elphaba that night.
"But I prefer a man who lives..."
Diggs' investor...
"And gives expensive...
...Jewels."
The trapeze came lower and swung over the crowd, everybody reaching up towards the girl perched on it, none other than Elphaba.
The Margreave.
Elphaba finally set foot on solid ground and began strutting through the crowd as she sang, a radient smile on her face. Fiyero couldn't stop staring at her. Could a human possibly be any more gorgeous than this woman? How was it even possible for her to be so...perfect? How was it even fair?
"A kiss on the hand may be
Quite continental,
But diamonds are a girl's
Best friend.
A kiss may be grand but it
Won't pay the rental
On your humble flat
Or help you feed your,
Mmm, pussy cat!
Men grow cold as
Girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end;
But square cut, or pear-shaped,
These rocks don't lose their shape!
Diamonds are a girl's best friend."
When some of the men held out jewels to her, she smiled and took them.
"When am I going to meet the girl?" the Margreave demanded of Diggs.
"Tristana's!"
"After her number," Diggs said, "I've arranged a special meeting, just you and Miss Elphaba. Totally alone."
Elphaba grabbed some offered flowers.
"Clarisant!"
"After her number," Boq said to Fiyero, "I've arranged a special meeting, just you and Miss Elphaba. Totally alone." Fiyero pulled back to look at him with wide eyes. "Alone?!" he repeated.
"Totally alone."
'"'Cause we are living in a material world,
And I am a material girl."
"Come and get me boys," she teased. Diggs glanced over at the show. "Excuse me," he said, and left.
"Black Rose, Rhain Cael! Talk to me, Oscar Diggs, tell me all about it!"
And she and Diggs were both up there together.
"There may come a time when a
Lass needs a lawyer"
"But diamonds are a girls best friend!"
"There may come a time when a
Hard-boiled employer thinks you're..."
"Awful nice!"
She let out a squeak as he pretended to grab at her ass, and she, in turn, pretended to slap him away.
"But get that ice,
Or else, no dice!"
"Don't worry, don't worry!" Boq said to Fiyero. "I'll go and tee things up!" As he turned, he accidentally knocked a tray onto the Margreave, spilling drinks on him.
"You'll get by when stocks are high,
But beware when they start to descend."
"Is the Margreave here?" Elphaba asked Diggs as the pair danced around together. He smiled at her. "My dear, would Daddy let you down?" he replied. They both turned, and Diggs noticed that Boq had spilled drinks all over the Margreave. Meanwhile, Boq had taken the Margreaves handkerchief in attempt to clean up. "I'm so sorry!" he said. Elphaba smiled at Diggs. "Where is he?" she asked. Diggs subtly gestured. "The one Boq is waving a hanky at," he told her. But Boq had seen whose hanky he'd tried to grab, dropped it, then turned to Fiyero, asking if he could borrow his hanky, then just taking it without waiting for an answer.
"Diamonds are a girl's best,
Diamonds are a girl's best,
Diamonds are a girl's best friend!"
Elphaba was looking, and saw Boq waving a hanky at a man she didn't recognize, not realizing that it was Fiyero, not the Margreave. "Are you sure?" she asked Diggs. "Let me take a look," he said, and glanced behind her. By then, Boq had turned back to the Margreave and was trying yet again to dry him off, saying over and over again how sorry he was and that he was so embarrassed. "That's him, dearest," Diggs said, then frowned. "I hope that crazy Munchkin doesn't scare him off."
Meanwhile, the Margreave had refused Boq's help and threw Fiyero's hanky at the Munchkin, who frowned. "Fine!" he said. "Clean yourself up, then, you snobby pig!" And he then proceeded to make pig noises at him until the Margreave's manservant grabbed his shoulder, at which point he went back to apologizing before returning to the table where his friends were.
Elphaba and Diggs had started dancing a bit dirtly, then vanished behind a "curtain" that the dancers made with their skirts. Inside, Elphaba began a costume change while Diggs undressed himself.
"Will he invest?" the green girl asked.
"After spending the night with you, how could he not?"
"What's his type? Wilting flower? Bright and bubbly? Or smoldering temptress?"
"Smoldering temptress, definishly. We're all relying on you, sweetheart. Remember, a real show, in a real theatre, with a real audience! And you'll be...
Elphaba looked at him hopefully. "A real actress," she breathed. She sighed, then smiled as the dancers took their skirts down and the pair stood up, Diggs in his long underwear, making it seem as if Elphaba had undressed him while they were hidden.
"'Cause that's when those louses
Go back to their spouses!
Diamonds are a girl's best friend!"
And then, suddenly, Fiyero looked up, and there she was, smiling at him. "I believe you were expecting me," she said. He was dumbstruck to the point he couldn't speak, so he just nodded. She turned to face the audience. "Sorry, boys, it's ladies' choice tonight!" she announced, eliciting a collective groan of disappointment. She pointed to Fiyero, who was frozen in place like a deer caught in a spotlight. The Beauhos tried to encourage him to get his ass out there and dance with her, and Elphaba pouted, pretending to be disappointed and offended, which made the crowd start chanting her name. She danced around a bit, making odd little twittering, bird-like noises.
"I see you've met my Vinkun friend Fiye—"
"I'll take care of it, Boq," she interrupted. Turning to Fiyero, she took him by the hand and pulled him out of his seat. "Dance with me?" she said. Boq yanked lightly on Fiyero's jacket. "Give her your most modern poems!" he said, then watched as the awe-struck young Vinkun was lead off by the infamous green girl. She moved to the center of the dance floor, and some of the men pushed Fiyero out with her.
"That seemed to go well," Dryxen commented. Asta shook his head in amazement. "Incredible..." he muttered. The Quadling raised an eyebrow. "He's got a gift with the ladies," he added thoughtfully. Boq's smile was big enough to nearly split his face. "I told you," he said, "he's a genius!"
The other men were dancing with other showgirls, but only Fiyero was slightly awkward about it. Diggs, who didn't have a very good view of Fiyero from where he was, muttered to himself, "That Margreave certainly can dance..."
Meanwhile, Fiyero had gotten a bit more comfortable, and Elphaba was now trying to engage him in a little bit of conversation while they danced. "It's so nice of you to take an interest in our show," she commented. Fiyero flashed a brief grin. "Well, it sounds exciting," he said, "and I'd love to be involved." Her eyes lit up, the slender, sharply arched eyebrows going up a bit. "Really?" she said. Fiyero blinked. "A-Assuming you like what I do, of course," he added. She smiled. "I'm sure I will," she said.
Fiyero tipped his hat to the Beauhos, who returned the gesture.
"Boq thought we might be able to, um..."
Fiyero dipped her.
"...do it in private?"
"Did he, indeed?"
"Yes. You know, a...a private..."
Another dip.
"...poetry reading...?"
Again, her eyes lit up. "Ooooh," she said. "A poetry reading...Yes, yes, of course! Oh, I love a little poetry after supper!"
She kicked her leg into the air. "Take off your hats!" she yelled. Everyone threw their top hats into the air.
Back up on her trapeze, Elphaba began to rise above the crowd again.
"Diamonds...
Diamonds...
Square-cut, or pear-shaped,
These rocks won't lose their shape,
Diamonds...
Are a...
Girl's...
Best..."
Everyone reached up towards her in anticipation of the final word. They didn't hear her quiet gasp as she suddenly had trouble catching her breath. Diggs looked up and realized something wasn't right, but nobody else saw it. Then, suddenly, as everyone watched, she fell from the trapeze.
"No!"
AN: Maybe the Margreave is Avaric, maybe it's not...I dunno, I myself am not even that clear on it, to tell the truth. XD And, oh, hey, wait'll you see who Chocolat's Ozian counterpart is! n_n
Disclaimer: Again, it's FAN FICTION, not FICTION PRESS, guys.