January, 2014
He could never forget the look on those children's faces, as they looked at their brothers and fathers cold bodies lying on the ground, unmoving. And the wives, the mothers, the sisters, the daughters, how their eyes had followed him in agony, asking him one unspoken question: Why couldn't he save them?. Steve Rogers sat quietly on a bed inside the infirmary, waiting.
He could have done it differently and then nobody would have to die. Only if he had tried harder,the casualties would have been different. Their mission had been accomplished, but was it worth all the sacrifices? Freedom has a very high price, he was willing to pay all the cost. But did all those broken families?
Being Captain America, he was the icon of American soldiers, who everybody had their faith in. However, the more of the innocents died on their missions, the more Steve realized that he was a man after all.
"Rough day?" Asked a familiar voice.
He looked up and saw a dreadful Romanoff landing herself on another bed in the room. The Captain swallowed solemnly, nodded in reply. The woman didn't give him any further response nor a sign to show that she wanted their conversation to be proceeded. The agent carefully laid her back on the mattress, minding the scratches and took a nap in less than a minute.
The atmosphere was quietly and still until the door opened again, revealing a young woman in nursery white.
"Hello Captain Rogers. Um... How are you doing?..." Asked the nurse and a small snicker came right after from the Black Widow's bed.
"I'm okay, mam." Steve answered politely. The girl's probably a rookie and she didn't need a scare on her first day at work. He noticed the nurse was blushing in embarrassment as she stumbled across the tray for the gauze. "Don't mind Nat. You're new here, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am. I studied molecular biology and biochemist, but I've always wanted to be a nurse so here I am, nursing the superheroes of the world!" Chimed the blonde nurse excitingly.
Steve froze.
She was a student in molecular biology and biochemist once. She was a nurse in the Army Nurse Corps once. Until he lost her.
Steve mumbled a quietly okay and let the nurse help him with the bloodstains and the small scratches. Whilst, his thoughts drifted back into the year of 1936, when she had made the decision to change their lives forever.
August, 1938
The sky was so grey that day, or it was just him. They all had heard the doctor: his mother would not live. Not with tuberculosis eating her inside out.
Steve wanted to cry, but seeing his mother like that, frail and weak on her bed, he couldn't let the tears go. Since he was a child, Steve had always been the sick one, but now, for once, that kid wanted to be strong for the sake of his dying mother.
"It's okay, Steven. We all know it'll come this day." Smiling weakly, Sarah told her grown son lovingly.
Steve looked at his mom and held back a tear. How had he not noticed how thin she had been since the last few months?
"It shouldn't have come so soon..."
December, 1938
Sarah Rogers' funeral was a small one. It was a typical Catholic funeral: a dead person, a family member to give the speech, some family friends, and an unbearable grief.
20 years old Steve Rogers stood formally in his brown suit, watching 7 people with their heads down, paying his mother their respect. The son stood alone and just simply watched the scene played for his eyes to see, silently wishing it was anything but reality. Jane was clasping her hand to her mouth, choking back the heartbreaking sobs while her father was holding her in his fatherly arms, soothing the pain. Bucky and Rebecca remained in silence while their parents were trading words with the priest whom they had helped him found. Jane mother stood outside that picture, alone. The woman shifted awkwardly in her spot and looking at the surroundings with strange eyes. Steve didn't mind, though. He might not know Maria Carnahan that much, but enough to not be surprised. At least she came.
"Hey, Steve, you okay?" A sudden pat on the shoulder jolted him from his train of thoughts. Steve tilted his head to face Bucky, he nodded dryly.
"It's the second funeral since dad's and nothing will ever be the same again." Muttered the slim young man.
"She's still around with us, Steve. In our memories and hearts." Bucky told him. If it hadn't for the occasion, he would have made a remark on how deep the brunet's words were. "My family will always welcome you, pal. Mom wants you to come and live with us since it's only you on your own now. We have a room ready for you at any time."
"Thanks man, but I think I can make it alright."
"We're being serious, mate. You don't have to deal with all of this alone. I know Jane would have said the same, too, if her mom weren't there to nag."
The two guy glanced at their female friend. The girl had stopped crying now but her nose was still red and her hazel eyes were horribly puffy. The sight reminded Steve the reason why Jane hated to cry ever since she was still a little girl, Emotions are contagious. I'd rather stay happy and not letting the ones who love me worried. She had said.
"Thanks, Bucky. I'll... I'll think about it." Hearing Steve's words seemed to assure a great deal of Bucky's concern, so he squeezed the blond's shoulder and strode away.
After being left alone, Steve looked up and caught eyes with Jane. The look in her eyes told him that she wanted to talk; Jane excused herself out of a conversation she was having with Mr. Carnahan and started approaching until she had reached him across the lawn.
"Bucky asked you to move in, didn't he?" She started talking casually.
"Yeah, he did. He told you?"
"Actually,... your mom did..." She answered, slightly tugging him towards an empty bench several feet away. "Sarah and we had discussed about you before she... passed away."
Steve nodded. The two quietly sat together and by the time meaning, he studied Jane secretly. His friend had grown, they both had; time flies and they just weren't that 5 years old boy and girl anymore. The age of 20 had hit them without realising it. Jane was simply beautiful in her black dress even when her pretty eyes were weary and her feet carried the weight of her body heavily as if there was the whole world on the girl's shoulders. Nonetheless, Steve found in Jane the presence of peace he didn't know he need all this time.
"You didn't just lose a mother, Steve." Sighed Jane, her voice suddenly became raspy at the sound of his name. "I lost a mother and Bucky lost a teacher, too." She paused, taking a deep breath. "The Barnes and my dad lost a friend. And for my mother... my mother lost a good neighbour. I'm not sure if she cares or not but she's remorse. That's good, right?" Smiled Jane in vain, her lips struggled to form a smile but it ended up being a distorted frown.
"Do you need a hug?"
"I think you need it more than I do, Steve."
Pushing her comment aside, he pulled the redhead to his chest and held her close anyway. Jane was small and heartbroken, so was Steve, and together, they was each other's company through the loss of a life.
"I've done some thinking." Jane spoke out of the blue, her warm breath sending tingles to his ears. "I'm 20, we're graduated and dad has been asking me what I want to do with my life. And for the first time of my life, Steve, I don't know. You go to art school, Bucky go to business, and me? Not a clue. Mother doesn't scare, to be honest. She thinks it's the best for me to get married to a wealthy man and never have to be worried about money."
"She can't be serious, can she? It's 1938, not 1838!" Exclaimed Steve as the idea bugged him greatly.
"Old-fashioned, I know. I'll be dead before she got me into it." Said Jane as she tried to add a sense of humour into it. "So many things have happened, Steve, and then the thought came to me one day: I want to go to med school. I remembered how upset you were on the sick bed and when I came back to the reality, I saw life leaving Sarah. I want to save lives, Steve. A nurse, a scientist, a doctor, anything to save people from dying while there are still so much left to lose. And I've never made any greater decision in the last 20 years."