Lieutenant Commander Sarah Jane Shepard was an Alliance vanguard. When she wasn't clinging to her typical self depreciating humility, she could admit to herself that she was a damn good one - one of the best. She'd come out on top against overwhelming odds, been victorious in what had been considered unwinnable situations, and had defeated enemies that far outclassed her.
Her biotic capability was a large contributor to her wild success as a vanguard. Her biotics were exceptionally strong, and were primarily combat oriented. Her proficiency with a pistol was second to none, preventing her from being defenseless during cooldown periods. As a younger officer she'd typically had no difficulty racking up a body count on missions equal to or larger than the rest of her squad, and sometimes even her entire platoon.
But not today.
Today she'd had to struggle for every hit, fight for every kill. She was panting, and her legs were burning from exertion. Her hair was sweat soaked, plastered to her head from Virmire's brutal heat and humidity. She was running at full speed towards the enemy, hoping she would get there in time.
She didn't.
A biotic lift from behind her yanked a pair of Geth troopers out of cover, where Chief Williams effortlessly picked them off with her rifle before they were even a body length from the ground.
"Dammit Ash!" Shepard shouted in a voice that held no malice as she yelled back over her shoulder. "You need to leave me some!"
"You just have to work harder for it Commander!" came the reply. "Do you need a break?"
As she continued to race ahead of her teammates she passed a fork in the canyon that contained a Geth rocket trooper less than 50 meters away from her. 'Finally,' she thought. She pivoted sharply on her right foot as she launched herself at the threat. She sidestepped the rocket fired her way when she had changed direction while unleashing a warp at the trooper. She followed up quickly with carnage, and by the time she reached the Geth's position, shotgun at the ready, she found herself standing in a smoking pile of sputtering electronics grinning like a madwoman. She was loving every minute of this.
She started to trot back towards the main canyon just as Ashley and Liara rounded the corner into view.
"Oh look, the commander got one. Good for her." Ashley's sarcastic tone included a mild echo from the canyon walls as she spoke loud enough for Shepard to hear. "I think that makes six for her today."
"Five," corrected Liara.
"And that's compared to our...?" Ashley's voice trailed off.
"Fifty seven," completed the maiden.
"You're keeping count?" came Shepard's response as she regrouped with the pair.
"Obviously," replied Liara.
"Someone has to keep your ego in check Commander," continued Ashley.
"I didn't realize that it was becoming a problem," growled Shepard in return. Her eyes swept up and down the canyon. "That's it?"
"That's all in this area Skipper," replied Ashley. "If you're tired you can wait here while we run back and get the mako."
"I'll show you 'tired' Marine. Double time back to the mako." Shepard charged between them as she took off towards their vehicle, parked several hundred meters away with only the nose visible around a curve of the canyon. Shepard listened as the conversation continued behind her.
"The commander seems displeased that we have dispatched more Geth than she has," mentioned Liara as they started running after Shepard.
"Nah, she's just used to having the highest body count," Ashley looked at Liara appraisingly, not for the first time today. "This terrain favors our fighting style more than hers."
"She is also a biotic."
Ashley noticed that the maiden's reply had included nothing that might be construed as criticism of Shepard. Whatever was going on between them couldn't be that bad then. "She's a biotic who prefers to get in your face," Ashley glanced at Liara again to make sure she understood the idiom. "You use ranged attacks, which happen to go very well with this," she slapped her Volkov. "I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often when she has you and Garrus with her."
"I do not believe that I have ever combined my talents with Garrus' in this manner. Certainly never against enemies hundreds of meters away. Usually I work to find a way to augment Shepard's biotic abilities with my own. Our engagements during this mission have been... unique in my experience."
"Yah. We've really had the commander racing all over the place today. Probably doesn't help that she runs funny."
"I can hear you back there Chief!"
"Yes Ma'am!"
.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.
'All good things must come to an end,' reflected Ashley as she hunkered down behind some machinery for a moment to allow her shields to recharge. It wasn't often that they got a break in the middle of a mission, but between Wrex' hissy fit and the bombastic Captain Kirrahe, their time at the Salarian camp had practically been an afternoon off.
Unfortunately, the second half of their mission hadn't been nearly as much fun as the first. Once the battle had moved among structures, and eventually indoors, the commander's preferred set of tactics had allowed her to quickly surpass her and Liara's number of kills. It seemed that Shepard had taken the earlier teasing harder than Ashley had expected. The spectre had been extravagant, almost foolishly ostentatious in her technique at the start of the assault on Saren's base. More than once the chief had seen Shepard firing in one direction while targeting her biotics in another. Liara had moved forward to support Shepard, but had found herself with remarkably little to do. The maiden seemed to have to push herself hard just to keep her place next to Shepard at the pace the spectre had initially set.
Speaking of, Ashley left her cover and sprinted to catch up with Shepard and Liara.
"Eighty four, eighty five, eighty six!" she heard the commander shout out from in front of her as soon as Shepard realized she was back in earshot. That was definitely a habit the chief was going to get tired of if it continued. Apparently the first Human spectre did have a bit of an ego after all.
Clearing the complex had taken some effort, not all of it physical. Meeting the indoctrinated Salarians had been... difficult. To lose control of your own mind, to be a prisoner in your own body, Ashley couldn't imagine a worse fate. It had shaken her to her core. The encounter with Sovereign had been even more unsettling than finding out the details about indoctrination. Ashley was surprised, and not by the body count the commander had reached. As compassionate as Shepard seemed to be, the chief had expected that the spectre's performance would have been hampered by the day's discoveries, but Ashley had seen no indication of such. It appeared that the commander had been able to shake off both events. Ashley didn't see how.
Perhaps it was the strength she'd had to develop after losing her family, or maybe Shepard simply focused on the positive. She had gone out of her way to save everyone she could. The apparently unindoctrinated Salarian, the Asari scientist, both had been happy to see Shepard, and grateful for their release. Or maybe, maybe Liara had another influence on the commander than just the one Ashley found so irritating. Shepard had practically leaned on Liara after the encounter with the Prothean beacon, barely getting her head together before Sovereign's appearance. Now, even as they were picking off Geth hoppers on the approach to the rendezvous point with the Normandy, Shepard kept Liara in close quarters, almost near enough to touch. The commander looked to her often, nearly always getting a reassuring look in return. 'Are they always like this?' Ashley suddenly wished she'd been on more missions with the pair.
One last door and the team broke into the area near the geothermal taps that Kirrahe had targeted as the optimal location for their ordinance. They were in the area for only minutes before the Normandy appeared in the sky, swooping into a fast landing and opening the cargo ramp practically at their feet. Joker always was a damn showoff. Ashley had been the officer trained on the weapon's detonator by the STG ordinance tech. Once the ramp was down Shepard waved her up to collect the weapon. She quickly scrambled up and retrieved the bomb from the cargo bay, then placed it almost under the nose of the Normandy with the assistance of one of Kaidan's marines.
She had just reported same to the commander when Kaidan's voice burst from out from comm.
"Commander, can you read me?"
"Get to the rendezvous point Alenko" came Shepard's reply.
"Negative Commander," Kaidan's voice was difficult to hear over the sound of enemy fire. "The Geth have us pinned down on the AA tower."
The commander switched channels. "Get them out of there Joker."
Kaidan cut through again, his voice loud enough to be heard over the din of battle, yet still oddly calm. "Negative, it's too hot. We can't risk the ship. We'll hold them off as long as we..." The transmission cut off.
The mission was over if they lost control of the AA tower. Shepard had to reinforce the STG team. Ashley spoke up. "It's okay Commander. I need a couple of minutes to finish arming the bomb." It wasn't true, but what the hell. "Go get them and escort them back here. I can hold this position."
Ashley squirmed as the commander locked eyes with her. The moment lasted seconds, but felt much longer. 'Could the commander tell I was lying?' Finally Shepard turned to Liara, and motioned to Wrex who was at the top of the cargo ramp. "Up to the AA tower! Move people!"
The commander, Liara, and Wrex charged to the door on their left. Ashley had a good view of the trio as they engaged a combination of Krogan and Geth. She considered trying to assist with her rifle, but her vantage point was poor, and she didn't want to risk shooting between members of the team. They didn't appear to need much help anyway. It took no time at all for the commander and the rest to clear the room and make it to the elevator on the far side. Once the elevator door closed Ashley suddenly felt alone and exposed, despite the oppressive bulk of the Normandy hanging over her and Garrus providing cover from the top of the cargo ramp.
Less than a minute passed before things suddenly got interesting. A Geth troopship appeared on the far side of the Normandy and started disgorging troops. At least the troopship was unarmed, and the Normandy wasn't at risk from small arms fire. She looked up at Garrus and the pair of marines in the cargo bay. The ship was facing the wrong way. From their position they wouldn't be much use until the Geth were almost on top of her. Garrus' look was questioning anyway, and Ashley knew what he was asking. She shook her head. The security of the Normandy came first. They couldn't leave their position without leaving the bay undefended. Ashley was repositioning herself with her back to the bomb when Kaidan cut in on comm again. "Heads up Chief, We just spotted a troop ship headed to your location."
Ashley rolled her eyes. 'Just in the nick of time LT,' she thought. "It's already here. There's Geth pouring out all over the bomb site."
It was true. There were a lot of Geth. She heard the commander's voice even as she started reevaluating her chances downward. "Can you hold them off?"
Ashley wet her lips before replying. "There's too many. I don't think we can survive until you get here." She took a breath. "I'm activating the bomb."
"What the hell are you doing Williams?" The commander's voice was a mixture of shock and urgency.
She picked off some of the closest Geth. "I'm just making sure this bomb goes off, no matter what." Easy enough. The timer was a simple keypad. Once she'd set the delay she smashed the controls with the butt of her rifle. All that worked now was the countdown display. After reassuring herself that the timer was still counting down, she continued. "It's done Commander." She punctuated each word with a rifle shot. "Go get Alenko and get the hell out of here."
Alenko cut in, sounding vaguely indignant "We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Williams."
There was a long pause before the commander came back on comm. Or was it her? She lined up another shot. "Alenko, contact Joker and tell him to meet us on the AA tower."
Alenko started to object before Ashley interrupted. "It's the right choice, and you know it LT."
There was a click as Shepard switched over to a private channel. "I'm sorry Ash. I had to make a choice."
The chief couldn't suppress a smile as she replied. "I understand, Commander. I don't regret a thing." She didn't. She'd been living on borrowed, no stolen time since Eden Prime anyway. 'Never leave someone behind indeed.' Ashley intended to have words with the other members of the 212 about that when she saw them again.
The cargo hatch was rising as the Normandy lifted off. She couldn't spare a hand to return the salutes from Garrus and the marines, but she acknowledged them with a nod. She quickly became impatient for the Normandy to get out of her line of fire. The further away she could keep the Geth from her position, the longer she could hold out. She needed to minimize the time they'd have access to the device before detonation. The casing was hardened, and the bomb would be nearly impossible to destroy outright by anything less than Sovereign itself. That didn't mean a Geth couldn't disarm it if given enough time. She intended to make sure they wouldn't have that time.
.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.
Saren was here.
Shepard had thought that alone would have made this mission worthwhile. The intelligence she gathered from her dialog with the Turian had only served to strengthen her belief. Saren had been so talkative. She'd thought she might be able to convince him, sway him from his conviction. He seemed so rational, so willing to hear her side of the discourse that she unknowingly fell into the same trap as Benezia had, thinking the Turian only needed the right persuasion to come back to the her side. Then he attacked.
After the following battle, she reevaluated her opinion as the rogue spectre held her suspended over the edge of the building.
Fortunately, she was able to overcome that mild complication with a right hook.
Saren bounded away as the Normandy approached. Either he didn't like his odds, or Sovereign warned him of the bomb.
Shepard scrambled up the ramp as the Normandy hovered at the edge of the building. She turned to lay suppressing fire as Kaidan and the survivors of the STG team ran towards the safety of the Normandy. Her position allowed her to shoot over the heads of the team, and also made her the more tempting target, providing relief to the Salarians.
As soon as the last Salarian set foot on the ramp she yelled out to Joker, "Joker, take us down to..." She was interrupted by Garrus putting his hand on her shoulder. She turned to the Turian, the sharp retort on her lips dashed by the look on his face as he shook his head.
"Commander?" came the questioning tone from the cockpit.
"Get us out of here Joker. Best possible speed."
.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.
Ashley still had the smile on her face as she saw the Normandy pull away in a nearly vertical climb. Joker would get them clear, she was certain of it.
She was tired, and she hurt. She lined up another shot from her position using the bomb as cover. She glanced at the timer. She could rest now, and just await the inevitable, even the closest Geth would never reach her. She just didn't have it in her to do it, not while she still had ammunition, while her weapons still functioned. She saw that some more Krogan mercenaries had joined the Geth. She ignored them. They also could never close the distance in time to be a threat. She focused instead on the closest of the Geth, and continued to pick them off one after another.
When the blast finally took her, tears of joy were streaming down her cheeks, and her face ached from smiling so hard, for so long. Even as the base was vaporized, she was pulling the trigger on an enemy, personally ridding the galaxy of one more thing that did not belong in the universe she thought should be.
.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.
Kaidan was lamenting Ashley's death during the debriefing. "I can't believe that Ash didn't make it. How could we just leave her down there?"
Shepard knew Kaidan was essentially questioning one of her orders but she let him grieve. "Williams knew the risks going in. She gave her life to save the rest of us." She didn't add that Ashley had probably been happy to do so. She'd never forgiven herself for Eden Prime.
Kaidan couldn't let it go. "But why me? Why not her?"
"It wasn't your call. It was mine. I chose you." She could continue that he hadn't been the only one rescued, that the STG team was also aboard because of her choice, and in fact the Normandy herself was probably intact because of her decision not to let their position at the AA tower fall, but she knew there was no point. Kaidan was in no mental condition to hear it.
The lieutenant shook his head, not allowing Shepard to alleviate his burden. "If I'd done my job, you wouldn't have had to make that call."
Shepard tried another path. "It wasn't your fault. If you're looking for someone to blame, blame Saren."
Kaidan hung his head. "Yes Ma'am. I, I'm... We'll get it done."
Shepard waited until it seemed that Kaidan had pulled himself together enough for the debrief to continue. She was just about to proceed when Liara spoke up.
"Commander. Excuse me for interrupting, but I have an idea. I think the beacon we found in Saren's base was similar to the one on Eden Prime. It may have contained the missing pieces of your vision. I might be able to help you put those pieces together."
Shepard looked to Alenko, trying to see if she needed more of her attention. The man seemed to be all right for the moment. She looked to Liara as she rose. "You want to join our minds again? I'm ready." Shepard was relieved to hear Liara make the suggestion. It had been a rough day, one of the worst of her career. She'd needed to know that Liara wasn't still angry with her over whatever it was. If nothing else, perhaps the meld would help with the headache she'd had since the beacon. Liara had been the only thing to help with the last one too.
Liara rose to join Shepard in the middle of the comm room. Shepard took a deep breath as Liara told her to relax, with the now familiar instruction to 'embrace eternity'.
The maiden's eyes went black, and for Shepard, the room went black as well.
.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.
Liara was getting used to these sojourns into Sarah's mind, although she still found it exhausting after the fact. She had never melded with non-Asari before Sarah, and the Human hadn't yet learned how not to resist the alien presence entering her psyche.
As before, the Prothean imposed memories were at the highest levels of Sarah's mind. She sank through them, recognizing several from her earlier melds, but also encountering new ones. They were just as powerful as previously, but no more recognizable. She needed to filter them through the Cipher. Liara went deeper.
Liara found herself in an open area. This was more familiar territory. The vistas offered into Sarah's mind were similar to when she'd melded with other Asari, just with less structure and no areas restricted by privacy. Liara would have blushed if she'd been able. Sarah was completely open to her.
She "walked" around, looking for indications that would lead her to the Cipher. She skirted past regions that held memories with a strong emotional component. The memory of Virmire was a raw, gaping wound. Those thoughts were easily recognized and quickly avoided. The Cipher would have been pure data, with no additional context.
There were many such areas. Dark regions associated with memories of family, battles lost, fallen comrades. Most of these were older memories, and Liara did not focus on them.
There were brighter areas as well. Many were associated with her time on the Normandy. Several were memories of time spent with Captain Anderson. One was a memory of their dinner together on Thessia.
Liara came upon the brightest area yet, and encountered herself. Not the self she saw in the mirror every morning, but an enhanced, upgraded version. This Asari was physical perfection, and moved through the landscape with certainty and purpose. She radiated intelligence and competence. She carried a pistol, yet wore a human style lab coat and glasses. Liara briefly wondered what kept them perched on her face. Her aurals would provide no assistance on that score. This obviously wasn't a memory, yet held a position of some great importance in Sarah's mind. 'Is this a fantasy? Is this how Sarah really sees me?' Liara was simultaneously embarrassed and overjoyed. Her excitement almost broke the meld. There were a few ways this could be interpreted, but she knew in her heart which it was. She wished she could risk contacting Sarah's consciousness, but that was a depth to which she wasn't yet willing to go. That would mean sharing her own thoughts and memories, and was a level of intimacy she wasn't ready for yet - at least not in front of the squad.
Liara forced herself to continue onwards, and didn't take much longer to reach the Cipher. She immersed herself in it, and thus wrapped, lifted herself back to the first memories she had encountered. They now seemed almost childlike in their simplicity.
Liara's head snapped back as she broke the meld, only seconds having passed. She swooned for a moment. Fortunately, she had been in mild distress the last two times she had melded with Shepard. It wouldn't be obvious to the room that her response this time was for an entirely different reason. "Incredible. I... I never thought the images would be so... intense." That was an understatement. She carefully didn't identify which images. "I need a moment to collect myself."
Shepard gave her that moment, and more as she scrutinized the maiden. Something... had happened. She wasn't sure what, but this meld had been different somehow. "Did the vision make any sense to you?"
Liara focused on the bulkhead behind the commander. "It is a distress call. A message sent out across the Prothean Empire. It was a warning against the Reapers, but the warning came too late."
Shepard prompted "What about the Conduit?"
Liara looked down as she replayed the memories she had accessed. "There were other images. Locations, places I recognized from my research... Ilos! The Conduit is on Ilos! That is why Saren needed to find the Mu Relay! It is the only way to get to Ilos."
Shepard cocked her head. "How come you never mentioned Ilos before?"
Liara was earnest in her reply. "The Mu Relay links dozens of systems and hundreds of worlds. How was I to know Ilos was the one we wanted? Without the Cipher the images in your visions were never clear. Only now do I recognize them as landmarks from Ilos."
Shepard took a deep breath. "Thank goodness you were here. Who else would recognize landmarks from a Prothean world? We need to get to Ilos."
Liara was floored. She was going to Ilos! She never dreamed that she would set foot on one of the Prothean regional capitals! She was so focused that she barely heard Tali reminding the commander that an Alliance frigate would not be welcome in the Terminus systems. Shepard reiterated Ilos as their next destination, causing Liara's heart to skip a beat. She couldn't remember having been so excited, but logic prevailed. "Saren will have his entire fleet orbiting Ilos. We will never make it to the surface without reinforcements. We must start with the Council. We will need a fleet to..." She swayed as her exuberance caught up with her.
Shepard immediately stepped from standing in front of her to bedside her. "Are you all right?"
Liara turned to look at Shepard. "I am sorry. The joining was... exhausting. I should go lie down for a moment."
Shepard nodded. "Dr. Chakwas should have a look at you."
Liara shook her head. "I just need to rest for a moment."
"Are you sure?" The concern in Shepard's voice was apparent.
"I am," replied the maiden, as she turned to head to her quarters, her mind full of a great deal of new information that she needed to process.
As the door opened to the CIC, she could hear Shepard ordering Joker to get the Council on comm. The lieutenant's voice sounded dull and lifeless, but the hatch closed behind her before she could make out his reply.
.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.
It was getting late.
The commander had been making her post mission rounds. It was not unexpected that with the loss of Chief Williams, the time she spent with each crew member was much longer than usual. The crew was also atypically restless tonight. It seemed each member of the team had needed someone to confide in after talking to the commander. Garrus was in engineering talking with Tali, Kaidan was sharing stories about Ashley to Kirrahe and the STG team, and even Pressly was in the cargo bay toasting Ashley with Wrex, using a bottle of ryncol that the Krogan has smuggled aboard. Liara was still surprised about that last.
Shepard had been in the cockpit with Joker for over an hour. Dr. Chakwas was leaning against the doorway to Liara's lab. The women had been chatting with each other, but both were really waiting for Shepard. Liara was the only member of the team that Shepard hadn't yet been to see.
The pair finally heard telltale hiss of the medbay hatch. Liara noticed that so certain was Chakwas of who had entered the medbay, she didn't even turn around. Seconds later the commander strode by Chakwas without a word. Instead of engaging either doctor in conversation Shepard simply threw herself face down onto Liara's cot.
The maiden locked eyes with Chakwas. Her wide eyed look conveyed her question without a word. 'What do I do?'
Dr. Chakwas' reply was equally silent, simply a head nod towards the commander. 'Go to her.' The hatch closed as Chakwas backed out of the lab on her way to check on Joker.
Liara rose from her desk and quietly walked over to kneel down next to Sarah. She reached out to gently take Sarah's hand, only to have it sharply pulled back, and Sarah turn away from her.
Liara started to stand, not certain what to do with the unexpected rejection, but willing to let the commander have her privacy. Then she stopped. 'She does not want privacy,' Liara chided herself. 'She does not want to be alone. If she did, why would she be here? She could have had solitude in her own cabin. She wanted companionship, comfort. You know whose cabin she's in, who she came to for solace. You even know how she feels. She simply does not know how to express those feelings. Not yet.'
Thus emboldened, Liara sat down on the edge of the cot to try again. Instead of attempting to take Sarah's hand, this time she gently reached out for Sarah's hair. She closed her eyes as she touched it. It was as luxurious as she always imagined it would be. When her touch brought no response, she gently started stroking the copper colored strands.
It took some time, but Sarah's shuddering breaths finally eased. Liara didn't stop until well after her commander had fallen asleep.
A/N: Assumptions here include:
FemShep/Liara (Not yet LI)
Later ME1 - after Feros, Noveria, and "Obligations" (Sorry, it probably makes sense to read Obligations first)
Before/During/After Virmire
Shepard is:
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero
And so ends my first story that actually covers a canon event. I truncated some of the dialog from the game, and actually called out the fact that the Normandy was right there when Ashley was attacked (as well as why she didn't get any help). I've had a lot of feedback about the fact that she was my obvious Virmire casualty, but I did my best to give her a reasonably worthy death scene.
This story is continued in "Connections".
As always, feedback is welcome and desired.