The story's title is from the song "One Day" by Kodaline. All of the chapter titles come from various songs by the same band.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot and any original characters that may be added in later. All rights over characters of the TV show Arrow belong to CW Television and DC Comics.

I've Only Got Myself to Blame for It (And I Accept It Now)

October 2010

Cambridge, Massachusetts was a beautiful place and Felicity loved it. The MIT campus was filled with culture, having been founded in the 1800s, and was so unlike everything she was used to back in Starling City, California being different in almost every aspect. Having been there for a little over a month, Felicity was in love with all her classes and most of her professors. It'd been difficult so far to make friends, because sometimes she felt a little out of place with the fact that she's a year younger than most students and a genius even by MIT standards. Her roommate is a short, red-haired girl named Michelle, and let's just say she partied more than she studied. The only real negative to being there so far was being away from all her friends. Sara and Caitlin texted her almost every day, filling her in on all the summer drama that she's missing, but it wasn't the same as actually being there; sleeping over in Caitlin's room, watching movies and painting each other's nails. And she missed Oliver. He and Tommy were somewhere in Greece, and it was still hard for them to find a time where they could talk, especially now with her very busy schedule.

Felicity tightened her grip on her computer bag, making her way through Killian Court towards this little coffee shop that she fell in love with her first week here; they had the best vanilla lattes. Looking around, she took in her surroundings; students studying on blankets in the grass, the cliché guys playing frisbee. Distracted, she was brought back to the present when she collided with someone, his papers falling to the ground. "Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Felicity clambered to the ground, picking the scattered papers up into a pile.

"Oh no, don't worry about. It, it was my fault," a male voice replied, stammering a bit as he tried to put his papers into his backpack.

She glanced up at the sound of his voice, eyes falling on a tall man probably around her age, though he looked younger and kind of scrawny, but still cute. He seemed a bit awkward, not unlike herself as he stumbled over his words. Felicity released a small laugh and handed over the papers she had gathered, "Here."

"Thank you so much," the boy looked up at her and his eyes widened, "Wow, you're pretty. I mean, you - obviously, you're attractive, but I wasn't hitting on you or anything. Not that I wouldn't hit on you because like I said, you're really pretty. But I wasn't! I swear, I just -" he cut himself off, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before opening them again. "Sorry."

Felicity giggled, smiling sweetly up at him, "It's okay, really. I've had worse rambles. Don't worry about it." He returned her smile and they fell into a bit of an awkward silence before she furrowed her brows slightly at him. "What did you say your name was?"

"Oh! I didn't, actually. But it's Barry. Allen." Barry shuffled his belongings clumsily between his hands before offering her his right one to shake.

She accepted it, shaking it lightly with a wide smile pulling up the corners of her lips, "Felicity. Smoak."

"Well, it's really nice to meet you, Felicity. Do you go to school here?"

"Yeah, I'm a freshman. I'm studying computer science."

"No way! That's really cool. Computers have always interested me. Maybe we could meet up sometime, study together or something," Barry's smile fell and his eyes widened as he was quick to recover, "Not as like a date or anything. As friends. I don't really know a lot of people here, I'm from Central City."

"Really? I'm from Starling. And I'm actually headed to get some coffee from a little shop not too far from here, if you want to join me?"

A giddy smile spread across his face as he looked down at her, nodding his head, "I'd love that. Let's go."

September 2017

Tommy makes his way towards his best friend's office, noticing that Gretchen's desk is empty and concluding that she's probably on her lunch break. Seeing Oliver standing near his desk talking on the phone in what seems to be a heated conversation, he silently makes his way into the room, nodding in a hello to his friend and sitting in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"I don't care. Get it done," Oliver finishes tensely, hanging up the phone and nodding a hello in return.

Tommy looks up at him, brows drawing together, "What was that about?"

He runs his hands over his face, sitting in his desk chair and sighing in exasperation, "Just the legal department. There was a mistake in the new contracts for one of our subsidiaries that has to be fixed. I swear, a monkey could do their job better than them."

"Well I highly doubt that," he laughs.

Oliver shrugs, "Anyway. What are you doing here?"

"There's some workers at Verdant today fixing the lights in the dance floor. I don't really need to monitor them 24/7 so I figured, why not come see if my best friend wants to go get some food?" he offers, hoping his voice doesn't give any his true motives. Tommy opened his nightclub Verdant about four years ago after he dropped out of SCU, deciding college wasn't the right fit for him. Turned out he had a knack for business and he already knew everything he could possibly know about nightclubs, his teenage years partying with Oliver having proved beneficial after all.

"I already ate." Oliver narrows his eyes at his best friend, sensing the underlying concern that laced his voice. "Tommy, why are you really here?"

Tommy sighs, realizing he's been caught and might as well just tell the truth now. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay after last week. I know that Felicity left after you, I assume you guys talked. You came back looking pretty upset and she never came back in."

His entire body tenses at the mention of her name, thoughts of their encounter re-entering his mind after trying incredibly hard to push them away since it happened. "I don't want to talk about it."

"C'mon, man. You can tell me what happened when she went after you. I don't know everything that went down between you two, but I know that it messed her up. She's never gotten over it and would never tell me the full story. Whatever happened, you can tell me."

Oliver's head shoots up at his friend's words, anger coursing through his veins. "It messed her up? Tommy, you don't know what the hell you're talking about. She ended things out of nowhere, not the other way around." He narrows his eyes at the other man, "And how would you even know that she never got over it? You haven't seen her in five years."

He gulps, glancing down and shifting uncomfortably under his best man's intimidating glare.

"Tommy," Oliver clenches his jaw, his voice low, "Have you been talking to her?"

"Look, man, please don't be mad. I know that you cut off all contact with her after she left and that you were in a pretty dark place for a while… But I kept in touch. We've been talking over the years; I've been filling her in on everyone's lives. I went to visit her a couple times. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you but I knew you'd be upset."

"Upset?" Oliver questions, a disbelieving huff bubbling past his lips as he tries to control the volume of his voice. "She broke my heart and you've been visiting her? What, have you been sleeping with her again, too?"

"Hey, watch yourself Ollie. That's not fair. It's hasn't been like that between us since high school and you know it. You're like a brother to me Ollie, but Felicity is my friend too."

"Well she isn't mine. You wanna know what happened between us? She left and that's all there is to it. She walked out of my life five years ago and I've moved on. I'm finally happy now, okay? I'm over her and I'm over this conversation, so if you don't mind, I have work to do." Oliver pulls out some files from his top drawer and starts going through them, body still tense as he hopes that Tommy will get the message that he's through talking and to not push him right now.

"Fine, whatever Ollie," Tommy sighs, standing up and walking towards the door, noticing that sometime since he got here Gretchen had returned to her desk. Reaching out, he wraps his hand around the door handle, turning around one more time before leaving. "But if you're over her like you claim that you are, how come you haven't said her name once during this entire conversation?"

Felicity takes a deep breath and climbs out of her brand new (leased) red mini, making her way up the steps to a place that had become like a second home to her. She hasn't been here since that night and she needs to prepare herself for the feelings that the mansion stirs in her. Steeling herself, she knocks on the door a few times and waits, twisting her body to take in the property where she, Oliver and Tommy used to play tag, the bushes that they used to hide in.

She hears footsteps rapidly approaching and a voice start speaking before the door swings open. "Britt, I told you that I didn't want to party toni -" Thea freezes, her voice cutting off her sentence as she takes in the woman before her. The teenager's look of shock quickly morphs into one of bored anger, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the grand wooden door. "So you are alive."

"Thea. Wow, you look so old. I feel like just yesterday you were four feet tall and now you look like you're about to graduate from high school," Felicity laughs, taking in the younger Queen. Thea really does look older, now the same height as Felicity and she's obviously grown into her body, no longer the lanky little girl that used to follow her big brother around like a puppy.

"Yeah, that's what happens when you don't see someone for five years. I mean, I didn't even get so much as a phone call from the girl I considered to be my sister." Felicity can see the pain in the girl's eyes that she is so desperately trying to hide, wanting to appear strong and unfazed by everything around her.

She looks down, fidgeting with the strap of her bag, "Can I come in?"

"It's a free country," Thea retorts, moving away from the doorway and into the main room. Felicity follows her, closing the door behind her. "What are you all dressed up for, anyway?" the brunette asks.

"I actually had a job interview. I think it went well so hopefully I get it and then I'll be back for good."

"Good for you," her voice is laced with sarcasm. "So why exactly are you here? Ollie doesn't live here anymore."

Felicity's mouth falls open at that, "He doesn't?" Of course he doesn't, he's 25 years old and the CEO of a multibillion dollar company. Of course he doesn't live in his mother's house anymore. Brain finally digesting that tidbit of new information, she shakes her head. "Uh, that's not why I'm here. I actually came to see you. I wanted to apologize."

Noting that the older woman's tone appears completely genuine, Thea's entire demeanor changes, dropping her defensive stance and shifting on her feet. "For what?"

Felicity sets down her bag on the armchair and takes a step towards Thea. "I'm sorry that I dropped out of your life. Thea, things with Oliver didn't work out and I obviously didn't handle things well. My relationship ending was no excuse for me disappearing and not calling you anymore. Losing touch with you has been one of my biggest regrets. I love you Thea and I've always liked to pretend that you were the little sister I never had. I'm sorry that I ever made you doubt that. I just hope that you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance because I'd really love to get to know the young woman that you've become." Felicity lifts her hand, running it through the younger girl's hair lightly.

Thea looks up at the blonde - the girl that she's spent five years missing, wondering what she did wrong to make her leave. She blinks back tears before throwing her arms around the older girl's neck, pulling her into a tight embrace. "I missed you, Lissy."

"I missed you too, Speedy," Felicity whispers back, closing her eyes and pulling her in tighter. After a few minutes, the girls finally pull away, laughter bubbling past their lips as they wipe the tears away from their cheeks. "Okay, enough of this sob fest. Tell me about you, tell me about your life. I want to know everything!"

Thea laughs, "Okay. Do you want to make smoothies and put them in martini glasses like we used to when I was younger?"

A wide, genuine smile tugs up the corners of Felicity's mouth as she squeezes her hand, "That sounds amazing."

Smiling back at the older woman, Thea walks backwards towards the kitchen, pulling Felicity with her. "So I guess I should start with this guy that I like. His name's Roy."

After an excruciatingly long day at work, Oliver rides up the elevator to his penthouse loft, rubbing his hands over his face and loosening his tie. His conversation with Tommy has been playing like a song on repeat in his head all day, his best friend's words about his inability to say Felicity's name sticking with him especially. It wasn't untrue, but the implication that it meant he was still in love with her is completely ridiculous. Especially coming from Tommy. Traitor. Oliver still can't believe that Tommy has been talking to her, visiting her, for years and didn't even tell him. Even after everything he saw, everything he witnessed being beside Oliver when things got dark for him. Tommy was there the entire time, seeing how bad Oliver got and he continued to be friends with her, almost like he was taking her side in everything. Oliver can't even remember how many times Tommy stopped him from drunkenly calling her or jumping on his private jet to go see her. Did Felicity ask Tommy to stop his calls? Did she tell Tommy that she didn't want to see him?

Pulling his keys from his pocket, he sighs, unlocking the door and making a beeline straight to his bedroom, not noticing the smell of food coming from his kitchen. He takes off his jacket, toeing off his shoes and untucking his dress shirt from his pants. Opening the middle drawer of his dresser to pull out a pair of sweats, he stops suddenly. Taking a deep breath, he makes a decision and opens up the top drawer containing his socks, shuffling them around until he feels the all too familiar soft felt in the back-right corner. Wrapping his fingers around it, he pulls out the square box, twisting it around experimentally in his hands. Oliver leans forward on the top of the dresser, examining the box before flipping open the top. Inhaling a sharp breath through his nose, he looks at the ring that he's long-since memorized every little detail of, the diamond glinting in the dull light that his room offers.

Hearing shuffling behind him, he quickly but casually closes and secures the tiny box back into its hiding place, closing the drawer as he turns his head. He smiles at the woman standing in the doorway, "Hey, I didn't even realize you were here."

"I used the key under the mat. I know you've been stressed at work lately and I wanted to make you dinner."

Oliver sighs, an easy smile on his face as he moves towards his girlfriend, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You didn't have to do that, McKenna."

"I know. But I wanted to," McKenna Hall smiles up at him, hands gripping his biceps and pulling him down to place a small peck on his lips. "Change your clothes and come to the kitchen. I made my famous mac and cheese."

"You know my weaknesses," Oliver laughs. McKenna winks at him before pulling out of his embrace and walking down the hall towards the open living space. He watches after her, smile fading slightly as he turns his head and stares a hole into his sock drawer, knowing what's lying behind it. Oliver sighs and unbuttons his shirt, unable to explain the feeling in the pit of his stomach that everything is about to change.