Chapter 2

James,

Mission got cut short

I'm back at work today

Lily xx

"What is this?" asked James angrily. He had cornered Lily in the empty staff room. He balled up the note, that had been left on his desk, and threw it in the bin.

"I just thought I should warn you, that's all," said Lily sipping her tea.

"When did you get back?"

"This morning," said Lily. "You never answered any of my letters, I wasn't sure how happy you would be to see me."

"You mean after you deserted me and abandoned our marriage!"

"I didn't abandon anything," she sighed. "I know you're angry with me but…"

"Angry? I passed angry a week ago!"

"But I want to work on this, I don't want to give up on us."

"Maybe it's too late for us," said James harshly.

"Don't say that," said Lily sadly. She knew James had a habit of lashing out when he was hurting, most of the time he didn't mean the things he said. "I missed you."

"Whatever," said James breaking eye contact with her. "I have to get back to work."

"You're not wearing your wedding ring."

"I don't have a wife."

"What am I?" snapped Lily. It was one thing to be mad at her but it was another to deny that she existed altogether. "A colleague? Some girl you occasionally screw? Cause' I'm not your ex wife…"

"Yet," said James walking out of the room. If he stayed they would end up arguing again and he didn't want to argue, he wasn't sure his heart could take anymore arguing.

"Damn," muttered Lily.

That had not gone how she had hoped, James was more than mad at her, in fact she almost saw some indifference in him. He hadn't shown any sort of emotion, he hadn't seen her for three weeks and he didn't care. Lily hadn't made a decision about her pregnancy yet. She was only three weeks along, there was plenty of time to decide, she didn't want to rush into anything. Her main reason really was she didn't want James to take her back just because she was pregnant. She had to know that he still loved her for her, not just because she was having his baby.

That night when James got home he found that the lights in the house were already on, something that surprised him. He knew it was still Lily's home, he just didn't expect her to go back especially after what he had said to her earlier.

"Hello," he shouted. "Lily is that you?"

"Yeah it's just me," said Lily appearing at the top of the stairs. "How was your day?"

"Fine," said James harshly. "I wasn't expecting you to come home."

"I do still live here," Lily pointed out.

"And another thing," he said suddenly remembering. "Why weren't you called to the attack earlier today?"

"Um…I hurt my leg on the mission," said Lily uneasily. "It's going to take a while to get back into shape, so I'm on desk duty for a few months."

"You said your mission got cut short."

"Yeah it did because I hurt my leg," said Lily. It wasn't a lie exactly, she had hurt her leg she just didn't mention that the Healer had fixed it.

"Is it bad?" James asked casually as if he didn't really care that much and was just being polite.

"Why? Do you care?" Lily asked raising her eyebrow at him. James had never been very good at hiding his emotions.

"We don't need someone on the team that can't hold their own," said James avoiding eye contact with her.

"Like I said you won't have to worry about that, I'm on desk duty," said Lily sharply. "I would have thought you would have been happy about that."

"Why would I be happy about my wife getting hurt?"

"Now I'm your wife?"

"Legally you're still my wife," said James. "And I would never wish any sort of harm on yo…anyone."

"Isn't that what you wanted though, James! Me to be the good little wife that just filed reports but stayed out of harms way and ironed your damn socks! You hated that I wanted to fight them, you always did! This should make you happy, I don't get anywhere near the battlefield! So are you happy now?" Lily shouted at him

"Am I happy that you got hurt? No! Am I happy that you're unhappy? No! Am I happy that you're not putting yourself in harms way? Absolutely!" James shouted back at her.

"You never supported my decision to be an Auror! I supported you, but you never did the same! How would you feel if you couldn't fight?"

"That's completely different!"

"Why? Why is it different for you?"

"Because…"

"Because I'm a woman, you sexist arrogant son of a…"

"Because I loved you!" James roared. "And I couldn't watch you being thrown ten feet into the air by those people! You're my wife, I'm supposed to keep you away from all that."

"Loved?" said Lily quietly. "You loved me?"

"You know I did," said James wondering what had made her stop shouting at him.

"Past tense," she said feeling like she was about to start crying. "Right, I guess that answered the question I came here to ask you."

"What question?"

"If you wanted me leave? I didn't know if you wanted me to come home so we could work on this. But I guess you just answered that, I'll just go and get some of my things," said Lily as she all but ran up the stairs.

"Lily…" James tried.

He knew it was no use, she wouldn't come back down stairs. In fact if he knew her she would lock herself in their bedroom and cry. She would deny it and hide it if he went up there. The worst part is he hadn't even meant to say it like that, he hadn't stopped loving Lily. Now his wife was upset because of him, he hated it when she got upset because she always tried so hard to be brave.

Lily was sitting on the edge of her and James' bed, tears streaming down her face. She already packed a bag of clothes before James had gotten home, she had wanted to make a quick exit if he had wanted her to leave. But she couldn't leave until the tears had stopped, James didn't have to see how upset she was. Once she had stopped crying, she got up and walked over to her dressing table, she put a few simple charms on her face to disguise the fact that she had been crying. How could she have been so stupid? She knew they had been having a few issues but she hadn't known that James was falling out of love with her, if she had known she would never have gone on the mission in the first place. How had it happened so fast? Her feelings for James hadn't changed at all since their wedding day? He still infuriated her, annoyed her, hurt her but she still loved him more than anything.

She got up and went to his wardrobe she pulled out his Grey jumper. He had had it since they had left school and wore when they were lying around the house, hanging out. She lifted it to her face and inhaled the scent, it smelled like James it always did. She put it into her bag and hoped he wouldn't notice it was gone.

She quietly crept down stairs, praying James wouldn't hear her. She couldn't face talking to him again that night. She was almost at the front door when he crept up on her.

"You weren't even going to tell me you were leaving?" he said.

"You're a smart man, you would have figured it out," said Lily not turning to face him.

"Lily you don't have to leave," he said.

"I-I don't," asked Lily, hoping he was willing to work things out.

"No you don't," he said. "This is your home. I'll go."

"No I'm already packed," Lily snapped. "I'll see you around Potter."

"Lily…please."

"Please what?"

"I don't know," James confessed. "But I don't want to leave it like this."

"Me neither," she sighed. "We do have to work together, lets just try to keep it civil, okay?"

"Okay," said James.

JAMES POV

She left four hours ago and here I am yet again, sitting at home alone in the dark drinking firewhiskey. The only difference is last night, I was wishing for my wife to come home and tonight I hate myself because when she did come home I let her walk out the door again. I swore I wouldn't do it, that I would work on our marriage because I can't give up on my wife. I'm officially pathetic. I drove her out the door and here I am wishing she was here, because I missed her more than I ever thought I could. We had spent exactly two nights apart since we got married, before she went on that damn mission. So in the past three weeks I haven't exactly gotten a lot of sleep, I need to know that she is sleeping next to me because then I know she's safe. I just want her here with me! She belongs here, and I have to go and tell her that I didn't love her anymore, when nothing could be further from the truth. I do love my wife, I always have. Lately we just got lazy and forgot that we had to work at our marriage and we started arguing because I hate her fighting the deatheaters. I admit I hate her fighting them, if I had my way she wouldn't be out there because there is nothing like the terror of looking around a bloody battlefield and realizing that your wife is one of the lifeless bodies lying on the ground. She is a great Auror though, one of the best but even the best Aurors lose and die!