NOTE: To the people that read the first little bit, I may have mixed up a couple words slightly. One of the 'she's is supposed to be a 'he' or 'her' is supposed to be 'his' and the word 'mother' should be replaced with 'brother.' So here's how it goes for you people who haven't figured it out yet and are a bit confused. This story is based on the musical. And NO, Ike is not Kyle's son! They're still brothers.
NOTE 2: It would also appear that a lot of you read the first little bit. I know there are a LOT of Style fans, and there are a few Kyle and Christophe fans as well. Probably Christophe and Gregory too, but I dunno. What made me smile is that this story got, like, 100 hits in one day. That's just cool. Thanks a lot, you guys! Don't forget to read my other stories. R&R, please! Enjoy!
Mamma Mia,
You Killed Kenny!
K. J. Pitre
Prologue: I Have a Dream
"No, absolutely not!" Kyle snapped, folding laundry on the couch.
"But why the hell not?!" Ike whined, standing in the kitchen doorway. "You said that once I get married, I could!"
"But you're not married yet, Ike!" Kyle protested. "You're only engaged!"
"Kyle, in case you haven't noticed, I'm twenty years old! I have a right to know who you love!"
"And Ike, in case you haven't noticed, I'm twenty-five, and you have a privilege, not a right."
"But what's the big deal, anyway?" Ike asked, sprawled on the couch now.
Kyle grabbed the pile of laundry and moved to the lounge chair, then pulling one of his sweaters from underneath Ike's body.
"I'm not telling you about my love life," Kyle replied calmly. "Goddammit, if only you could have just stayed in University with all your friends."
"Kyle, I told you," he explain sitting up. "Our professor died, so everyone in that class got 1 week off until they could find a replacement. And since Flora, Kindergoth, his name is really Vic, and Filmore are in that class with me, and they're having time off too, I invited them to the wedding with us at mum's summer home off California."
Kyle stopped his business and looked at the corner of the room with a pondering expression. "Who's Flora again?"
"My fiancee, you dumbass!" Ike shouted. "We've been going out for a year-and-a-half!"
"Oh, yeah." Kyle continued his folding.
As Kyle continued, there was a silence in the room. Kyle didn't mind in the least; he loved silence. Ike, of course, despite how intelligent he was, enjoyed a little noise. Ike began tapping his hands on his thighs to the drum beat of 'Slipped Away' by Avril Lavigne. Kyle was oblivious to which song he was doing, but he needed to get this laundry done. He still had to fold the whites which were still downstairs. Then Ike started to softly sing the first part of the song to himself, but loud enough for Kyle to still hear it.
"Na, na," Ike sang. "Na, na na, na, na."
At this, Kyle immediately shoved one of the towels in his face and bent over.
"Come on, Kyle," Ike said. "It's a good song, don't act like your so..."
But Ike was stopped in his sentence. He stopped talking when he noticed Kyle's shoulders begin to shake and the muffled sound sniffling was heard.
"Kyle?" Ike asked cautiously stepping in. "Are you okay?"
No answer, but his sniffling turned into light sobs.
"Kyle, why are you crying?"
Ike's older brother rose his head and brushed the soft towel across his reddened eyes.
"It's that song," Kyle explained, sadness still clinging to his voice. "It just reminds me of mum and dad."
"Oh, shit, Kyle I didn't mean it!"
Kyle returned his face to the towel as Ike sat on the chair's arm and began to rub his back. Ike's hand travelled to the other side of Kyle's arm in a warm hug. Kyle let go of the towel and hooped his arms around Ike's body. Ike closed his eyes and began to shush him softly.
"It's okay, Kyle, it's okay," he shushed, hating to see his brother so upset. "Both of them know what you're doing for me, taking care of me, getting a job, keeping up the house. They're so happy for what you're doing right now, you have no idea."
Kyle wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his arm and held onto Ike's shoulders looking into his silver-grey eyes. Of course, they looked nothing like mom or dad's considering one of them had green eyes and one of them brown, but I guess it was a plus for Kyle so that he wouldn't get as choked up looking at someone who looked like either of his deceased parents.
"You're such a good brother, Ike," Kyle said to him wiping away a single tear on Ike's cheek with his thumb. "I know I've said that a million and one times, but you know I mean it."
"I know," Ike smiled. "So will you tell me who you're in love with?"
"Nope."
Kyle, throwing the sweater and towel, that were now dirty, through the open basement door, grabbed the basket of folded laundry and made his way upstairs.
"Oh, come on!" Ike groaned. "You promised me!"
"I was kidding, Ike," Kyle replied on his way up the stairs.
"But you said you would!"
"I was 17, Ike," Kyle reminded, stopping in mid-step. "I was stupid to have told you something that would have kept your hopes up. Now forget about that. I want you to finish packing upstairs. Our flight to California leaves in 3 hours and we need to be at the Denver Airport by 2."
"Ugh, fine!"
Chapter I: Honey, Honey
"Jesus Christ, it's been too long," Kyle said almost to himself as he placed his bags on the docks.
Down the docks was a small hilly island. On one side of the island was a stone house. It was painted white, though it was chipped, and every square hole on the wall (prehistoric window) was covered with sky-blue painted shutters, which also had chipped paint. The stone shingles on the roof that were rusty brown really brought out the blue in the shutters and the magenta flowers that vined the canopies on the stone porches that outlooked the Pacific Ocean. At sunset with the breeze against your back and the turning of the waves with a flower delicately placed in your hair, it was the perfect ending to any day. Although it was in not-so-perfect shape, it was so beautiful and romantic. With the money that Kyle's family had collected with his dad being a lawyer and such, he began to keep up payment for this summer home shortly after they payed off the house. Now that both the summer home and the house in Colorado were fully paid off, Kyle's job drew plenty of money for food and the other bills and such. The only thing he wasn't looking forward to was cleaning up this place for Ike's wedding. Sure, there were workers that helped out with the vineyard outside and the clothes and the dishes and everything else who worked for cheap, but Kyle was in charge of making the house look real nice.
With a sigh, Kyle picked up his luggage and headed for the front door where he was greeted by the workers he passed. Ike was just getting off of the dock and not without a smile on his face. He could invision the sky purplish pink with him standing at the alter at the old chapel by the north of the island and Flora in a thin white laced dress riding in on a horse. And along the way, candles would be lit. It would look so beautiful. Anything for Flora. All that romantic crap was her idea.
He was about to head into the front door behind Kyle until he heard the sound of a loud motor skipping across the waves accompanied by the sound of screaming 20-year-olds.
"Yo, Ike!" one of them yelled. "IKE!"
"Hey, guys!" Ike shouted back running to the end of the dock where the boat would 'park.'
Once the boat was tied to the dock to prevent drifting, the driver of the boat and the passenger, Ike's friends from University, Filmore and Vic, hopped off of the boat and ran to Ike. Filmore hoisted himself on Ike's shoulder's rustling his hair while Vic grabbed the bags from the boat.
"Woo-hoo!!" Filmore cheered into the afternoon sky as loud as he could. "Ike's getting married to the finest piece of ass in Colorado!!"
"Filmore, shut you mouth!" Ike laughed, lightly pushing Filmore off of him. He walked to Vic giving him a hug and helping him with his bags.
"So where the hell have you guys been?" Ike asked wrapping an arm around Filmore's neck. "I thought you'd get here hours ago."
"Well, someone left the tickets on the kitchen table," Vic answered darkly shifting his head to Filmore.
"So, where is sweet-ass Flora?" Filmore asked, also placing his arm around Ike's shoulder.
"How's your brother?" Vic asked. "Kyle must be slitting his wrists over this wedding."
"Yeah, he's pretty stoked," Ike answered, a bit disturbed by Vic's choice of words. "But there's something else I have to tell."
Ike uncoiled himself from Filmore's arm and stood next to the two. "And it's a secret and I can only tell you guys."
"You have AIDS?!" Filmore joked.
"No, I don't have AIDS!" Ike laughed punching his arm. "I invited Kyle's ex-boyfriend to the wedding."
"Oh, you mean the one that he's still in love with?"
"That's the one."
"So, you found him at last?" Vic asked.
"No, not exactly," Ike answered pulling out a small book. "Look what I found in Kyle's desk!"
"Kyle! You're not supposed to snoop around through your brother's diary, that's just creepy!" Filmore said.
"No, listen to what it says," Ike protested opening the book.
In the book were three folded pages, each ripped out.
"Each entry on these three pages are undated and out of order, clearly, so I'm unaware of which comes first. Listen to this one..."
Ike read aloud. "What a night. After the show, Stan rode me over to the little island. We danced on the beach and kissed on the beach and... dot dot dot."
"What the hell is 'dot dot dot'?" Vic asked.
"It means they fucked," Filmore answered nonchalantly.
"Thank you, Filmore," Ike said, slightly annoyed.
"So that means Stan is the one that Kyle still loves."
"Probably, but it says that shortly after, he left to go get married to this Wendy girl."
"Ass hole!"
"Kay, keep listening," Ike ordered, flipping the page to read the next. "What a night! Then after the show, Christophe rented a motorboat and I took him over to the little island. One thing led to another and... dot dot dot."
"Christophe?" Vic asked. "A Frenchie?"
"Yes, a Frenchie!" Ike repeated, slightly offended because of his French Canadian heritage. He returned to the next page. "What a night. Gregory turns up out of the blue so I said I'd show him the little island. I must need my head examined. But he was so sweet I couldn't help it and...
"Dot dot dot!" Vic and Filmore shouted together.
"Yes!" Ike answered. "The love of my brother's life has a name... well, three names, Stan, Christophe, or Gregory."
"And they're all arriving for the wedding?" Vic asked.
"Yes!"
"Well, do they know?"
"Well, no. What do you write to a total stranger? Hello, come to my wedding, my brother might be in love with you," Ike laughed. "No, they think Kyle sent the invitations. And after what I read in here, I'm not surprised all of them said yes."
"Oh my God, Ike," Filmore sighed with a smile. "Are you sure about this?"
"Yes, I'm sure! I want my brother to be happy again. Ever since mum and dad died, he hasn't been the same. And you CAN'T tell Kyle about this. So help me God, if I find out any of you told him, I'll kick you square in the nuts."
"Okay, okay, jeez! But Kyle's gonna find them sooner or later."
"Well, I'm not gonna have Kyle frighten them off before I get to know them. And once I do, I'll figure out who is Kyle's type. I know these things. I'll figure out who he is almost right away!"
"And what if you don't?" asked Vic.
"Then I've got 24 hours to do so!"
The three friends run into the house, laughing and shouting.
Chapter 2: Money, Money, Money
Off of the next boat that docks off the island walk two 25-year-old men. They appear to be good friends, since they carried each others luggage. One of the men has faded blue jeans with a rip and a chain looping from his pocket to his belt loop. He has a bright orange t-shirt on and brown cotton wrist bands. The friend he walks off with has a light blue T-shirt that looks a bit shrunk. The sleeves are short as well as the hem, showing a small bit of the stomach. He had faded short jean shorts with small rips. He almost looked like a more innocent version of his friend, especially with his pink and blue flip flops. Most of this man's luggage had little 'Hello Kitty' stickers on them.
"Dude," Kenny said. "You really oughta take off those Hello Kitty stickers. People are starting to look."
"Well, I don't give a rat's behind!" Butters snapped. "Well, uh, I like my Hello Kitty. She's all soft and fluffy."
"Well, look what the tide's washed in!" Kyle said loudly walking to his friends.
"For one night!" Kenny began.
"And one night only!"
"KYLE AND THE KOSMOS!" They all cheered, leaping in the air and bumping their asses.
Once they had landed, they all hugged and patted backs and rustled hair. When Kyle went to university, he, Butters, and Kenny all took one of the same classes: music; vocal. One of their major assignments was to create an original album with at least 12 original songs. The three boys teamed up and called themselves 'Kyle and the Kosmos.' Even after their 4th year was done, they decided to make 'K&K' official. They had concerts for a while, but then called it quits after they turned 24, seeing as Kyle had to take care of Ike. Every now and again they get together and have a little dance and song party. Kyle and the Kosmos were gonna perform at Ike's bachelor party, do a couple of songs, not before their drinks, of course. Ike, not being a homophobic, and loving his brother to death, was more than obliged to have Kyle, Kenny, and Butters sing at his party. Whenever Ike would ask about Kyle and the Kosmos, Kyle would quickly change the subject. Kyle said he would try to bring the guys back together and sing at his bachelor party. This was one promise he intended on keeping.
"So how's the brother of the groom?" Kenny asked.
"Oh, all the better seeing you two here," Kyle replied smiling. "Jesus Christ, Butters, I haven't seen you since the Kosmos' last show."
"Well, uh, I got grounded for starting a homo-erotic boy band," Butters replied skidding his sole on the dock's wood.
"Oh, I see. Well, I don't exactly envy my mom and dad for keeping up with this place. My mom was almost constantly on the phone with the bank manager arguing with him."
"I pity the banker," Kenny laughed.
"KENNY!" Ike shouted from the other end of the island.
Ike ran as fast as he could, not caring that his flip flops flew off behind him, the bottom of his jeans were getting dusty, and his slightly unbuttoned shirt was flapping, exposing his naval. He ran to Kenny with open arms and leaped onto his body wrapping his arms around his chest and his legs around his waist. Kenny accepted this explosive sign of happiness and wrapped his own arms around Ike's back spinning him around laughing.
"I knew you wouldn't let me on this island for one second without an Ike brand hug!" Kenny laughed hard.
Ike leaped off of Kenny's body and gave Butters a tight hug that almost made him cringe in pain. Kyle tilted his head and rested his cheek on his hand, enjoying Ike's love for his own friends.
"Oh, look at my little sweetie," Kyle teased pinching Ike's cheek. "Getting so old."
"Cut it out," Ike chuckled wiping away his hand. "I'm getting married, not joining a foreign legion."
"At least not again."
The two brothers laughed at this; inside joke.
"And I was taught not to get married at 20, anyhow," Kyle said.
"No," Kenny joked. "We were taught not to get married full stop! Less commitment, more fucky!"
Kyle couldn't help but laugh, but to maintain his role model-esque image, he gave Kenny a slight slap on the arm.
"A white wedding," Kyle smiled, shaking his head at Ike. "I don't know where you get it from."
"Sorry, you can blame me, Kyle," Flora said popping up from behind Ike. "It was my idea."
Ike was a bit surprised when Flora popped out of what seemed to be nowhere. But he quickly turned around and gave her a quick but deep kiss on her soft pink lips. Kyle held Flora by her shoulders and pulled her in to introduce her to his friends.
"Guys," Kyle began, as if he were the emcee on opening night of a Broadway show. "Introducing the leading lady at tomorrow's do, Flora." Flora shook their hands with 'hello's and 'pleased to meet you's. Kyle, once again, had to slap Kenny because he couldn't keep his eyes off Flora's ass when she turned to say 'hi' to Butters. "Uhh, anyways, Flora, this is Kenny and Butters my one time backing band and all time best friends."
"Hey, 'sup y'all?" Token greeted.
Everyone turned their heads and saw Clyde and Token begin to walk toward them. Token had topaz bathing shorts and a dark purple button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled the buttons undone to his abs. His hair was in dreadlocks and waved in the wind. Clyde had grey bathing shorts with a dark red Abercrombie shirt. While walking behind Token, the wind brushed his messy bangs in front of his eyes to which he wiped to the side of his face and continued to walk.
"Oh, you guys know Token and Clyde," Kyle introduced. "They run the bar over on the beach on the other side of the house. They're the bar staff, waiters, boatsmen, general help. Only generally, they're no help at all." He turned to the two. "Aren't... you supposed to be... doing something right now?"
And with a "Sir, yes, Sir!" the two helpers were off, pushing each other and laughing.
"And in the meantime," Kenny began. "Someone should take care of that crappy 'cruise' ship over there. Someone oughta sink it."
"Sink it?" Flora asked.
"Yeah, it's a bit of an eyesore."
"No, no one's sinking anything," Kyle ordered. "Ike and I are gonna turn that boat into a floating casino; a millionaire's paradise!" He turned to Ike and Flora. "Could you two be a hand and put the bags of balloons on the boat."
Flora hopped on Ike's back and slapped his rear making him run into the house.
"Wow," Butters said. "A nice cozy little boat where you can gamble under the stars. Now, uh, that's just neato."
"It sure isgonna be neato," Kyle chuckled. "This could be my jackpot. One of these days I could use a vacation."
"Well, hey, Kyle," Kenny said. "Everyone could use a vacation. Maybe you wouldn't need this jackpot if you had your eyes set on a rich guy."
"Well, ya! But I'm no gold digger. But ya, anyone could use a vacation to Las Vegas or Mamaco, or some other exotic destination. If I had that much money, I would just use it on whatever I wanted and I'd just have a ball!".
"Oh totally!" Kenny agreed. "Hell, I'd try to find some hot rich chick."
"Or guy."
"Or guy," Kenny nodded. "And so would Butters."
"Yeah, wait what?!" Butters shouted. "Fellas, I ain't gay!"
"I don't know, Butters," Kenny teased. "Your shorts and shirt tell me a different story."
"Guys, come on," Kyle sighed. "Let's just get back to work. We need to realize that the rich get kissed and the poor get kicked. Let's face it. It's a rich man's world."