AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay so now we're getting somewhere with this piece. I do have to admit I'm shocked that it's not as popular as Helpless though admittedly it's the darker of the two pieces. Also please don't get angry with me about what's contained within. I was serious when I told you this was pretty twisted. So all the usual warnings apply, this is a darker piece with sexual content, abuse, rape, etc. Please don't read if you are faint of heart or not of age.

Yearning

Chapter 2

Regina sighed as she dropped down at the large desk in their rooms yet again. She was coming here more and more frequently especially now. With Emma now dealing with a full out battle- something about an elderly witch that wanted control of everything- she was being left alone more and more. Especially with the threat of another ogre war breaking out along with the previously stated war; Regina had never seen an ogre before, but from the descriptions from her wife she figured they weren't pretty or pleasant to deal with. The last ogre war had been almost a hundred years ago and since her wife's parents' capture of the imp Rumplestilskin nothing truly threatening had happened and yet all good things must come to an end.

Emma knew more about sword fighting and planning battle strategy then she ever did though Regina was decent with a knife and could give some rather helpful insights. Her father wouldn't have allowed her not to learn at least one weapon and he always insisted on her being there when he met with his people about upcoming battles. He hadn't wanted her to learn the sword and certainly something like a bow and arrow while a bit more like a lady still wasn't the right choice for his little girl. A spear would've taken too much power as well so a knife was the only logical conclusion. She'd enjoyed those lessons the most, they started the moment she turned four and was sturdier on her feet. Her father didn't want her to injure herself accidentally. Refusing to allow anyone to teach her other than himself he'd taken on the responsibility along with everything else that went along with raising a child.

"Daddy, I don't think it's heavy enough," She wrote as she recalled the first time Adar had given her a knife to use. "It won't hurt anything." She added. "I want something bigger."

"Regina," Adar smiled as he knelt down to her level. "You are so tiny you wouldn't be able to hold up a sword and a knife is a bit easier to carry around without anyone even knowing it's there."

Regina had frowned, "I'm not tiny Daddy." She pouted her lips at him. "I'm bigger than most of the kids my age."

"That you are my love but you're still not quite ready to be holding up a long blade. This will do for now and perhaps when you get older we will see."

Regina nodded her brow furrowing in concentration as her father took a fighting stance and began to show her some basic moves as well as how to throw the knife properly. It was a skill she wouldn't master until she was about ten summers.

At ten she was still a rambunctious precocious child with a strong sense of self and a mouth to back it up. At least that's what she was told on a regular basis by her adoring father. Everyone else merely allowed her to do as she chose she was their princess after all. She was also a bit cocky when it came to her fighting abilities.

"Daddy I don't want to hurt you." She'd spoken with wide eyes when the man had told her to throw the knife at his heart.

Adar merely smiled, "You won't hurt me my Gina."

She shook her head with a sigh as if her father was truly a dumb man. "Okay but it's your funeral." She muttered as she lifted the knife her father had given her when she was four. She took a breath centering herself as she pulled the knife back. She waited a moment eyeing the spot on her father's leather bound chest that the knife would hit before letting the steel fly. The knife flipped over itself twice its ivory handle and silver blade spinning before being caught firmly between her father's hands.

"How'd you do that Daddy?" She asked with a gasp as he held up his flat palms the knife held perfectly still in between them.

"A lot of practice my love. I'm going to show you how to catch it."

Regina's doe brown eyes widened, "You are?"

"Yes. I want you to learn every aspect of how to catch a knife. You may cut your hands a bit until you learn but better your hands than your chest."

Regina nodded, "I want to learn Daddy. Teach me now?"

"We'll start now. I'm going to use a wooden knife so that you won't get cut but it can hurt you when it hits you so I want you to be careful." Her father held out her knife to her and she took it sliding it into its sheath that hung from her leather belt that held up the short skirt that was just a bit too big for her just yet.

She bounced excitedly on the sandy desert floor as she moved a distance from the strong man and waited. The sun from this angle wasn't shining directly in her eyes making this a bit easier for her to see. Her father pulled back his large arm much in the same fashion she did but he didn't throw with nearly all of his strength. She watched the blunt ended "blade" as it flew towards her. She waited a moment or two trying to judge the distance before bringing her hands up and clapping them together much the way her father had. She was a moments too late and it hit her squarely in the chest with a thud. She gasped her caramel eyes widening as she watched it hit the ground.

"That's all right love. It's going to take time." Adar called watching his daughter's incredulous face with a look of amusement. His braided hair shifted from side to side as he walked towards her lifting the blunt ended "blade' from where it had fallen. "We'll have to practice a lot and you are likely to miss a lot. Do not worry we will have you there soon and that's what truly matters."

"There you are," Emma's soft voice interrupted Regina mid written word.

It took a moment for the brunette to register what was going on before she looked up smiling when she saw her wife. "How did the meeting go?"

Emma paused setting her heavily brocaded jacket on the back of the couch facing the stone hearth which was lit as today was cold and wet as she thought about how to address her wife's question. "Concerning," She decided. "The troops from Briar Rose's lands may not be able to get through the mountain pass due to the storms coming through the north."

"That's not a terrible loss we still have access to Cinderella and her husband Thomas' army."

"Yes but they are still unsure of me after my parent's untimely death and I worry they may turn on us."

Regina frowned, "They do dislike me immensely."

"I don't really care if they like you or not. As long as they respect you as queen," Emma moved around the desk stopping when she caught sight of Regina's leather battle skirt and top. "I haven't seen that outfit in a while."

"Yes well I haven't felt the loss of my tribe for quite a while either. This writing is bringing it back." She'd even pulled her hair back with the leather thong Emma had given her so long ago when she'd mentioned how much she'd missed her old clothing which she was never allowed to wear once she'd been brought to the Enchanted Forest.

"I'm sorry my love. Do you not wish to continue?" Emma studied Regina's beautiful face in concern.

"No, all the more reason for me to continue; I was never allowed to mourn for them Emma. My people my father they didn't even let me say goodbye before the lit the pyres."

Emma knelt down touching her wife's bare knees. "I know and I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. You were only a teenager yourself." Regina pointed out with a sigh glancing back at the parchment full of her curvy writing.

"Do you think us wicked Regina? Do you think we suffered so because of the things we did?"

"I didn't deserve to have my father and my people slaughtered before my eyes. Nor did I deserve the fate that awaited me at the hands of the monster that kept me his slave for years." Regina stared at the parchment and not her wife concealing the wetness gathering at the corners of her beautiful dark eyes.

"You're right. You didn't deserve any of it which makes me righteous in rescuing you from going to the gallows."

Regina gave a nod, she knew what had happened the night of her rescue more vividly then anyone could've imagined as her spouse had related it to her that very night. It was their first night together where they had merely fallen asleep in each others arms choosing to wait for their wedding night to share their passion for one another. "Yes my love for surely we deserve one another."

Emma arched a brow at that, "No," which caused Regina's head to swivel around to look at her with questioning eyes. "You deserve better than me."

"You are a Queen I don't think I could've done better."

"Do you still love me Regina? Even after what I've done?"

"Yes," Regina didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I love you. Why do you even need to ask?"

"Because I'm not the same person you fell in love with," Emma looked down sliding her hands along her wife's bare knees and down her shins and then back up.

"People are shaped by their experiences Adonia. I'm not the same person you loved either. A life of comfort and contentment has seen to that," Regina pointed out. "So you tell me do you still love me knowing all the things I've done and said to get where I am today?"

"Of course I do." Emma murmured, "Now more than ever."

"Then you needn't worry so about the circumstances that brought us together. Everyone will believe what they will about us. People claim that I've bewitched you, put you under a spell to make you believe you love me. That I'm the one that poisoned your parents and the only reason you escaped was because you were away that night."

"Our people say no such things. They adore you just as I do."

"They've also seen me and they know of the generosity you and I give them. We take care of them and they in turn adore us." Regina answered easily. "It's the people outside of our Kingdom that speak about me so."

"You know I would cut them down tomorrow if they ever spoke those words to your face." Emma murmured palming the golden sword handle hanging from her side. It belonged to her father another relic from their sordid past. It certainly made the case to their people that Emma was James' daughter and their true sovereign.

"Yes but if you cut everyone down there is no one that will help fight this upcoming war," Regina sighed rising to her feet brushing by her still kneeling spouse.

Emma slowly rose to her feet watching as Regina made her way to a small table in the far corner of their room lifting a golden pitcher and filling the two goblets resting there with the sweet red wine they both preferred. She made her way back to Emma with the same grace that had so captured her the first night they'd met. Regina was poetry in motion, her movements fluid and precise never wasted. To this day she wondered if any of the women of her wife's tribe still existed would they favor the same movements. Or was it solely Regina's way?

Regina held out the goblet to her wife taking a sip herself. "I would've liked to have had lunch in the gardens. The rain is a bit much for me to handle at the moment. I fear my emotions have been all over the place lately."

"Do you think…" Emma trailed off watching as Regina's hand trailed to her flat abdomen. She'd always have that she knew. She used far too many muscles in her stomach to dance to ever have them complacent.

"No not yet." Regina sighed, "It may not ever happen. After what happened…"

"That's why there's magic Regina. If you want it we can make it happen. We need only talk to a sorcerer or the fairies."

"The fairies won't help us. Not after the suspicion that has been cast on us." She pointed out settling her hand on her hip. "They believe the rumors just like everyone else."

"They will help if I ask Grumpy. He's owed a favor by them."

"You'd go to the dwarves? After all they accused you of?" She stared at her wife incredulous.

"If it means fixing the damages done then yes I'd do anything for you."

Regina sighed, "I know. But it's not necessary. We still have time and other options."

"Yes you're right as usual. We're both still young." Emma reached out sliding her hand along Regina's abdomen, "But that doesn't mean the thought of you carrying our child doesn't thrill me."

"And what if I'm unable to? Will you carry our child?"

"You know I would. Our kingdom won't suffer a lack of an heir from us." Emma pointed out.

Regina paused watching the sky light up before a loud crack of thunder could be heard through the stained glass windows of their room. "The storm is getting closer."

"With every passing day," Emma agreed softly.