Journal 24

October 6, 2013

I dreamed for the first time in months. I was in a world full of Technicolor. I saw negative outlines of trees, and shadows, and then I saw a red chair in the midst of a grassy plane. Suddenly a woman appeared, seated on the red chair she was holding something, although I couldn't tell what it was. Her head rose slowly, as she acknowledged my presence. She was weeping, her eyes bleeding black ink. It soon accumulated into a puddle around her and the red chair began to sink. She drowned, and then I woke up…

Chapter two: Cerebellum

"So…this dream of yours, do you think it has any significance?" Dr. Durless inquired. Sebastian shrugged. "What did the woman look like?" She continued. "Dunno." Sebastian answered simply. A labored sigh left Dr. Durless' lips, as she uncrossed her legs, and placed her feet flat against the carpet. She was wearing a pink tank-top, and silk pajama bottoms. Today was her day off, a Monday. The woman worked odd hours.

Her usual fringe was pinned back with bobby pins, and her usually crimson-painted toenails where covered with a pair of pink, fuzzy, socks. Sebastian liked Dr. Durless like this, something about her lax attire made her seem more motherly and less serious. Sebastian was still in his flannels, and a large black T-shirt that read "Aurora Borealis" on the front in red lettering; a favorite band of Sebastian's.

"Have you taken your Ritalin?" Dr. Durless asked, rising from her seated position and heading for the kitchen. "Yeah." Sebastian answered. "Did you eat anything? You know that stuff makes you forget to eat." "Does a Monster drink count?" Dr. Durless furrowed her brows, and placed a hand on her hips. "You know I hate it when you drink that crap. It makes you even more hyperactive then you already are." She protested.

"I feel sluggish all the time, because you've got me all doped up 24/7." Sebastian joked. Dr. Durless found no humor in his comment. "The medication has stabilized you a great deal; your progress has been remarkable. If you feel sluggish, then don't stay up so late rather than poison your body with extract of bull testicles."

"You make it sound so appealing when you put it like that." Sebastian commented sarcastically. "And anyway that's a myth. They don't really put that shit in energy drinks."

"Get dressed, I'll drive you to school, you look tired I don't want you driving."

Sebastian shrugged, "I don't feel much like driving anyway."

Opting for a long sleeved shirt, due to the torturous comments he received last week at school, he found a grey and black striped shirt, and pared it with kacky shorts. It was muggy out so he didn't want to suffocate himself.

It had been three days since he'd seen Ciel, and 'Fuck-Face.' He longed to see Ciel again, though he could do without the other one. Cute knees, pretty laugh, charming smile…No Sebastian promised himself he wouldn't become obsessed, and in any case Ciel was already taken, to fantasize about him any further would be counterproductive and a waste of time.

Dr. Durless' car was of the sleek and red variety. Much like Mrs. Sutcliff, she too shared an affinity for the color red. Sebastian wasn't very educated in the vast ethnicities of vehicles, though he did understand that this car in particular was a Porsche and a very lavish one at that. Once boarded, Sebastian slumped in his seat, propping his feet on the dashboard.

"Don't do that please." Dr. Durless admonished, and Sebastian, as in his teenage-nature, simply rolled his eyes and moved his feet. He decided to busy himself by pulling out his school schedule. He'd been studying the locations of all his classes religiously so that he wouldn't be "that guy" who was always stopping spontaneous people in the hallways, asking for directions.

"Edward Gory High" was a grandiose facility, housing a healthy sum of students, reaching the mid-thousands. The Edward Gory "Grave Robbers" were one of the most formidable high school football teams in the district. The representatives for the team consisting of lead quarterback Claude Faustus, and Coach Spears, even appeared in the newspaper on several occasions. Sebastian had grudgingly seen Claude's face plastered on the front page, smirking like a self-righteous douchebag.

Sebastian hated the guy before he even knew him. He surmised that Ciel must be Claude's little trophy boyfriend or something. After all Ciel was too cute, beautiful, and perfect, it only made sense for a nefariously popular guy like Claude to attain such an unusual and beautiful creature, coveted by both women and men. Sebastian sneered; he could join the football team if he wanted. He had the stamina, agility, and strength, he may be a lanky thing, but he had muscle.

He could beat the shit out of that Claude guy if he wanted. Sebastian grinned at the thought of curb-stomping the burly, Ciel-hogging, son-of-a-bitch, in granny glasses. In truth Claude wasn't a bad looking guy, actually he was quite handsome, so it wasn't as though Ciel didn't choose to be with him of his own volition. Nevertheless Sebastian was still perversely irked by the whole scenario, perhaps because it was in his basic nature to be both possessive, and jealous.

And in any case, wasn't the whole moody, emotionally disturbed, dark, bad boy-thing supposed to be sexy? Sebastian lifted up his shirt and analyzed his fizeek. He pinched his stomach.

"Have I gone flabby?" He asked, eyeing Dr. Durless for a response. To which she simply raised a brow, and shot him a dubious glance. "Where on earth did that come from?" She questioned, as she stole a glace at Sebastian's exposed belly. Sebastian patted his stomach like a drum. "Dunno, just thought I'd ask, I mean it's not like I work out."

"Sebastian you could easily be a model if you wanted, there's nothing wrong with your body." She reassured him. "Oh yeah, ah Dr. do you have a thing for me that I am somehow unaware of?" He teased, poking her arm. "Any girl would be drooling at your feet." Dr. Durless retorted, playfully ruffling his hair. "It's not just anyone I want drooling at my feet." Sebastian explained vaguely.

"Isn't your school supposed to have a talent competition coming soon? You have a nice voice, and you can play the electric guitar. Why not enter and show your stuff?" Dr. Durless suggested. If Sebastian did decide to enter he could impress Ciel, or at least cause the boy to take more notice of him. Then again Sebastian wasn't too excited about the prospect of making a spectacle of himself in front of the student body.

*"Oh Sebastian, that was incredible! You looked so sexy on stage it made me so hot. Please say you'll make me yours"*

Sebastian blinked rapidly. he doubted severely that Ciel would ever say such a thing to him. But the fantasy still made him grin wildly, the thought of a blushing, cooing, Ciel, begging for his attention was all too tempting. Sebastian heard sweet moans, and lilting cries, in his ears. He could feel soft lips against his, and a slender body in his lap, plump, lavish, thighs, caressing his hips. The feel of silken velvet surrounding him, and the dampness of pleasure.

'Knock it off! Now isn't the time to be thinking about fucking Ciel.' Sebastian mentally chastised himself. Dr. Durless pulled alongside the front of the school to let Sebastian off. Swinging his backpack over his shoulder, he exited the vehicle, nodding his head to Dr. Durless as she pulled out. Sebastian was so annoyed with himself for fantasizing about Ciel naked on his lap, that his face soured, and his eyebrows furrowed.

He wanted Ciel for himself, and at this point it was foolish to ignore that desire. Though Sebastian had to try and be logical about this, however impossible it seemed. First he'd have to meet the competition. Only then could he further devise a plan to make Ciel his. Claude be damned, if Sebastian had to rip that man's tongue out and hang him with it to get Ciel he would.

There was a reason the term "prone to violence" was written in red ink on his record at the asylum. Sebastian had maimed countless nurses: stabbed one in the throat with a fountain pen, pealed another one's nails individually off her fingers, poured boiling hot tea down another nurse's throat. Sebastian had been in a very bad mood during his stay at the asylum.

It was believed that one of the medications Sebastian had been on was the product of violent tremors in his hands. Unfortunately Doctors couldn't ascertain which antipsychotic it was that was causing the issue. To solve this, they decided to purge Sebastian's body of all medication to draw blood samples, then gradually give him medication indiscriminately. The withdrawals were torture, and the inconsistency of the medications being distributed was even worse.

Sebastian wanted to instill a sense of equilibrium amongst his fellow conspirators, and pay them in kind for the pain they had caused. Sebastian had frustrated doctors to such an extent that they were willing and ready to take liberties. They wanted to set Sebastian's able body aside for exclusive experimentation, doctors were ashamed of his lack of improvement, and thusly deemed him a threat to society.

Fortunately for Sebastian, Dr. Durless, his primary care physician and psychiatrist had proposed a compromise. She'd built a sort of communion with Sebastian that she wasn't quite ready to demolish, by handing him over for illegalized electro shock therapy. Due to Durless' sycophantic faculties, she was able to coerce her superiors into allowing Sebastian parole, only if she cares for him permanently and nurtures progress.

So far Dr. Durless had managed to soothe out the violence from Sebastian's tense body, with kind words, and thoroughly researched, tested, medication. The trembling of Sebastian's hands unfortunately was just a side-effect that couldn't be helped. Doctors at "Percival Duffy's Institute" were cruel, and had too much time on their hands. Dr. Durless was convinced that they simply wanted to document what would happen if they jumbled a mentally ill person's medications.

Sebastian had been tortured at Duffy's, it was even reasonable to assume that the institute had made him even worse off than when he had first been committed as a young boy. For the most part, violent tendencies had been dormant from deep within Sebastian's psyche, unless otherwise provoked.

Sebastian was like a mindless drone throughout his morning classes. It was only until his fated 5th period encounter with Ciel Phantomhive that helped to animate his usual dullness. Sebastian had really tried his best to be as unnoticeable as possible by all the rest, but Ciel was a special case. He didn't mind at all if Ciel noticed him.

Upon taking his seat, Sebastian observed that Ciel was missing. He'd supposed he was just early. Sebastian had felt jittery all morning, and now wasn't any different. His hands were quivering slightly. He'd felt as though he'd guzzled a gallon of coffee the way his body was reacting. Sebastian wanted to hit something just to purge his body of all the stress. He bounced his knee repeatedly up and down with vigor, while chewing on his bottom lip.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Apologies for the cliff hanger. I usually dislike leaving my chapters in purgatory, but unfortunately my mind has drawn a blank. My Plot Bunny has scampered off into the multi-dimensional rabbit holes in my brain. But once I finally subdue the little fucker, I will then produce another chapter, hopefully without a cliff. Until then, thank you for reading!