Hey hey fabulous readers :) So I'm really excited because of the great response I received for this story and am equally thrilled to give you guys the next chapter. This story will hopefully have a lot of comedy as well as a good dose of sadness/angst and I think those two combine to make a great fic. On top of that, we've got major characters with some major damage, which always makes it fun.

This chapter has one of my favorite elements: banter. I hope you guys equally enjoy it because you're definitely going to get some more of the Elena/Damon dynamic in this chap.

And finally, I want to say thank you times a thousand for your sweet reviews. Even the short ones mean the world to me and reassure me that you are enjoying this story. And I can say it a million times but I write these stories purely for you all. So continue to leave your reviews, even if they seem pointless and especially message me on my tumblr (ninadobsession, the same as my username here) because I've recently been getting some love on there and I definitely appreciate that.

Alright, I'll shut up now. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 2: Soul Meets Body

I want to live where soul meets body

And let the sun wrap its arms around me

And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing

And feel, feel what its like to be new

Elena nervously tapped out a beat with her fingers on the coffee table. She'd been putting off the phone call for hours now. She'd wasted practically her entire Monday, doing anything and everything but picking up the phone and dialing his number. She'd spent the weekend avoiding thinking about it. After her eye-opening conversation with Bonnie on Friday, they'd spent the weekend doing girly things: laying out at the park, buying cute clothes at the mall, and a chick flick marathon. Elena had been the instigator of the activities, not wanting to think about the major decision she had ahead of her.

"How about this?" Bonnie had propositioned as Elena was setting up their fourth movie. "Why don't you just call him on Monday and ask him some questions? That way, you can buy yourself some more time to think about it."

"I don't need any more time," Elena grumbled. Elena knew that time wouldn't help her make her decision. She knew her answer already; she just wasn't sure how she could possibly say it out loud.

"Honey, I can tell you're nervous," Bonnie replied as Elena settled back down on the couch. "You've been tapping everything in sight." Elena's nervous habit sounded dirty, but it was instead her uncanny knack to tap her fingers on any available surface when she was anxious.

"I just… How can I do this to myself? How can I say no to the greatest offer I'll ever get?"

Bonnie sighed. "Because you're better than that, Elena. You're better than sleeping with a douchey guy just for some fabulous opportunites." Bonnie readjusted so Elena would turn to look at her.

"I've considered it a million times, Bonnie. Really, I have. Does considering it make me just as trashy as the rest of them?"

Bonnie chuckled. "No. It makes you human. Look, don't get me wrong. You know what turning this down means. We both do. But we also know what accepting it means. And my roommate does not fuck her way to the top. You know that behind the razzle dazzle of this offer is just a slimy guy with a bunch of his slimy friends taking advantage of talented girls like you." Bonnie noticed her friend's quickly developing tears and grabbed her chin so that she was forced to make eye contact. "Elena Gilbert, I've read your stuff. You have an incredible talent. You should be recognized for that and that only. And you will. Your work speaks for itself and it doesn't need Damon Salvatore or anybody else for people to realize that. And when that day comes when Elena Gilbert becomes a household name, you'll know you didn't achieve what you achieved because of the way you looked or how good you were in the sack. You'll have done it because you're amazing."

Elena smiled at the memory from the previous night. But Bonnie's encouraging words hadn't stopped her from waking up on Monday morning and being terrified of informing him of her decision. Elena knew how disappointed Bonnie would be if she came back from an entire day of classes to a coward of a roommate so Elena clumsily grabbed the phone and dialed the number scrawled on her portfolio.

"Damon Salvatore," Elena heard on the other end after three rings.

"Hi, Damon," Elena stopped herself from calling him Mr. Salvatore, remembering his dislike for it. "This is Elena Gilbert, calling about-"

"Ahh, yes, Ms. Gilbert, quick question for you."

Elena faltered, surprised at his interruption. "Oh, alright."

"What's your favorite song?"

Elena's forehead crinkled in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, what is your favorite song?" Damon's tone sounded completely serious.

Elena paused. "Damon, are you drunk?"

She heard light laughter on the other end. "No, Elena," He drew out her name, adding about five more syllables to it. "I'm not drunk. I'm just simply a curious man and I would like to know some things about my future biography writer."

Elena held back a scoff. "Well, that's actually what I was calling about. I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your offer."

Elena smirked after hearing the pause on the other end. She'd finally thrown the un-throwable.

But his rebound time was minimal. "Alright, what'd you find?" He sighed.

"Excuse me?"

"What did you find that's making you say no?" He spoke slowly, as if there were a child on the other end.

Elena stuttered. "I didn't find anything."

"Don't lie to me. You obviously did. Remember that whole 'I read people well' thing? Now tell me what you found out that's making you say no."

Cause in my head there's a greyhound station

Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations

So they may have a chance of finding a place

where they're far more suited than here

Elena gulped. She hadn't expected this. She'd expected him to be a little pissed, maybe even some groveling but not this. "I didn't find anything, Damon. I just decided that this position isn't a good fit for me." Elena wasn't exactly sure how to say "I don't want to have sex with you."

"Good fit for me… good fit for me…" She heard Damon repeat her phrase a few times. "Elena, did you do your research? Any at all?"

"Of course I did," Elena replied indignantly. On top of the conversation she'd had with Bonnie she'd spent early into Saturday morning searching his name on the internet. She'd gone almost fifty pages back in the search engine, reading and scanning every single article, picture, or YouTube clip she could find.

"Yes, of course you did, because you're good. You're good at what you do and, like me, you have an inherent curiosity that you were just dying to satisfy. But you wouldn't have done your research if you were planning on automatically writing me off so you had to have discovered something that made you say no."

"I understand you have some twisted desire to analyze my every move," Elena interrupted his train of thought. "…but unfortunately, if you continue, you'll just be wasting your time. I simply made a decision based on a careful list of pros and cons, like any adult would do, and I determined that working for you wouldn't put in me in the right place for my career and-"

"You don't want to fuck me."

Elena felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. "Excuse me?" She nearly shouted, her tone strained.

"You heard about the sex thing. You heard about the sex thing and that's the reason why you don't want to do this. In fact, it's the only reason." She could practically hear his smirk over the phone.

Elena was officially flabbergasted by the conversation. "I have absolutely no clue what you're referring to," she stuttered.

"Oh, don't play dumb. If I wanted a dumb girl, I could have picked one of the hundreds before you. You already confirmed that you did your research so I know you comprehend all the perks. But you also did enough research to find out all of the myths and legends of being an 'Original girl' and that is your reasoning behind saying no."

Elena sighed. She was about to just hang up, but the curiosity Damon had previously referred to was biting at her. "Why do you call it a myth? Isn't it true?" she conceded.

"Depends what parts you're referring to."

Elena huffed out a breath. She decided to start out slow since he was obviously playing some sort of game. "The biography part?"

Damon scoffed. "Of course. I already asked you to do that. Come on, dig deeper, Ms. Journalist extraordinaire."

"I'm not a journalist, Damon."

"According to the Mystic Falls High newspaper, you are."

Elena's jaw dropped. "What the-"

"Don't act so surprised, Elena," Damon sighed. "You think I would have offered you this job without digging up a little dirt on you first? Figure out if you're even a half-decent writer? Research, Ms. Gilbert, is key. It's why they invented the internet."

Elena was reminded of the old adage explaining that a conversation was like a tennis match. But talking to Damon was like playing Roger Federer. She was absolutely out of her league. She attempted a comeback. "Don't you know curiosity killed the cat?"

"Good. I hate cats," Damon replied without a moment's hesitation. "Make sure to write that down."

Elena's temperament was rapidly reaching furiousness. "Damon, I already conveyed to you that I was not taking the job."

"Keep asking me your questions, Elena. I'd love to clear the air." He was basically ignoring her answer at this point.

Elena let out another huff of breath. "Fine. Is it true that you disappear off the face of the earth while you're writing?"

"Let's not be dramatic, Elena…"

"Damon!"

"Well, you would be in an unnamed exotic location. We try to keep the paparazzi as far away as possible from our little outings."

So it was true. She would have been witnessing the vacation part of his life, not the working part. Elena was becoming more thankful by the second that she was declining.

"So the vacation thing is true? You go absolutely buck wild for six months? Frat boys: grown-up edition?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny the allegations placed against me and my brothers." Elena noted his mention of the Originals as his brothers. "The only people who have one hundred percent factual knowledge of what occurs are those that attend, an invitation of which has been courteously extended to you."

And I cannot guess what we'll discover

When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels

But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's

And not one speck will remain

Elena rolled her eyes at his far too obvious attempt. But Elena was done playing his games. She knew she'd never talk to him again so she didn't have fear of embarrassing herself. "Alright then. Is the 'relationship' thing true?"

Damon laughed lightly on the other end. "Partially. Have all my brothers been romantically intertwined with the woman that wrote their books? Yes. Is it a requirement for the job? No."

Elena gulped. "What do you mean?"

"It means, Elena," Damon's tone sounded exasperated. "… that this isn't a small prostitution ring. You don't have to fuck me to get your money."

Elena winced at his use of the vulgar language. "I don't have to…" she repeated, still a bit concerned.

Damon sighed. "Elena, I cannot speak for my brothers and why they chose those women to enter into relationships with. But from my inference, these are all attractive, talented, witty women who have a close, personal relationship with the men they were writing for. From that, I can reasonably see why they would 'fall in love.'" Elena noted his tone of bitterness over those last three words. "In absolutely no way am I expecting the same from you. In fact, it's quite enjoyable to instead bicker with you incessantly." Once again, she could practically hear the smirk return.

Elena was absolutely stunned by his response, mostly because of the fact that it made sense. She took a deep breath, desperate to get off this call. "Oh, well, I appreciate your time, Damon. Thank you again for your generous offer-"

"Elena, wait," Damon interrupted.

"What?"

"Wasn't the only reason you turned down this job because you didn't want to sleep with me?"

Elena cringed, not expecting such an invasive questioning session. "Umm…"

He didn't wait for her answer. "Did I not just disprove that very reasoning only moments ago?"

"Yes," Elena conceded.

"Than why are you hanging up right now?"

Elena gulped. When presented with the question, she had no clue. She'd spent the entire weekend convincing herself not to do it because of that one reason and that one reason only. Now that he had fully denied it, what exactly was stopping her? She remembered her words from earlier, how she'd considered it the opportunity of a lifetime. So why was she still turning it down?"

"Say yes, Elena," Damon's tone was softer, almost similar to what she would expect if he were begging. "I want you to write this just as badly as you do. I waited years for the right person and I found them. Please don't make me settle for second rate."

Elena was drawn in by his words. She cursed herself because she realized she didn't even have to consult with her head and her heart. Both were screaming "yes" with bullhorns.

"If I said yes…. And that's a large if, Damon… I'd need to know more details."

She groaned at his victorious cheer on the other end of the line. "Well, we're leaving on Friday so you'd need to be ready by then."

Friday? Elena could practically feel the sweat forming. "Where are we going exactly?"

"Oh, no can do princess," Damon warned. "It's a surprise."

"A surprise? You've got to be kidding me. I'm a grown woman, Damon."

"Yes, and as a grown woman, I expect you to take a risk without complaining."

"Any other rules, Mr. Salvatore?" She smirked at his growl.

"Yes. You'll need to stop by my office today and sign a NDA, non-disclosure agreement."

"I know what a NDA is, Damon."

"Somebody been reading their Fifty Shades of Grey, Ms. Gilbert?"

Elena flushed crimson. "No…" Elena cursed herself for sounding so obvious. "I knew what it was before that."

Damon laughed heartily. "Kinky… I like it."

Elena was surprised at how she felt. She didn't feel absolutely mortified discussing an erotic novel with him. Actually, she felt confident and bold. "Not kinky. Just curious."

"The line between curious and kinky is a fine one, Ms. Gilbert. I would know."

"Can you please repeat that, Damon? I don't think my recorder quite picked up that last one."

Damon laughed again, a sound that was becoming increasingly pleasing to her. "Unfortunately, this position doesn't come with a HR department to report sexual harassment to."

"Is that a threat?" Elena tried to sound confident, but his words had shaken her nerves a bit.

She heard his chuckle before his response. "I, Damon Salvatore, promise to not throw anything your way that you can't handle as long as you do the same."

Elena scoffed. "I highly doubt I could throw anything your way that would shake you, Damon."

Damon paused for a moment, a moment so long Elena began to wonder if she'd lost him. "You'd be surprised, Elena."

And I do believe it's true

That there are roads left in both of our shoes

But if the silence takes you

Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes I hold you near

Cause you're the only song I want to hear

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

"Alright then. Is there anything else I should expect while I'm there?"

"Yes. Actually, there are some things I expect of you."

"More rules?"

"Yes, Elena. Just three more rules. But why don't you come on down so I can explain them after you've signed your life away?"

Elena groaned. She took a look at the time, recognizing that Bonnie was due home soon. She wasn't exactly sure how she was going to break the latest news to her roommate so maybe being out of the house for a bit would be a good thing. "Fine. Do I need to be… umm… dressed professionally?"

"No wear whatever you already have. Especially if it's slutty"

"Damon…" she whined.

"Fine, fine. I'll text you the address."

Elena arrived at the downtown office building, this one far different from the location her interview had been in. She rode the elevator up nineteen floors before arriving at an unmarked door. She entered only to be faced with the same receptionist from a few days ago, a receptionist who'd apparently undergone an attitude transplant.

"Good evening, Ms. Gilbert," she came from behind the desk and held her hand out for Elena to shake. "It's a pleasure to have you join our team. I'm Sarah, one of the many assistants around here and I'd be happy to provide you with anything you need while you're here."

"Umm…" Elena wouldn't think it was the same girl if it weren't for the judgmental way she scanned Elena's outfit. Her gaze made Elena instantly feel self-conscious over her white jean shorts, denim shirt and red moccasin flats. "I don't think I'll need anything while I'm here, Sarah. It'll be a short visit."

"Of course," Sarah smiled warmly. "Well, once again, just know I'm here if need be. I'll take you to Mr. Salvatore."

Elena followed the girl through the halls, passing more unmarked doors. Elena was surprised with how busy it seemed, as it was fairly late on a Friday. Finally, they reached the corner office and Sarah knocked before opening the door wide.

"Ahh, Elena, you must live nearby. Excellent timing." Damon typed out one last sentence on his computer before pressing the enter key and standing. "Sarah, you're free to go." Sarah nodded her head and exited quietly behind Elena.

"I might need that HR department after all," Damon mumbled cockily, staring at her long and exposed olive legs.

Elena rolled her eyes. He hadn't done much to hide his remark. "I have to get back to my roommate. I'm presuming the NDA is already prepared."

"Yes," Damon replied, grabbing the large stack of papers on his desk. "Come sit." She followed him to a small table with two chairs towards the side. She really liked his office with its massive amount of books and magnificent view of downtown LA.

He pointed out the various areas she'd need to initial, basically explaining to her that she couldn't provide any information about the vacation to reporters, journalists, or even her friends and family. She grew a bit nervous at that. How wild were these trips exactly? Elena fiddled with her beaded necklace, another nervous habit of hers.

"And here's the list of all the sex toys you'll allow me to use on you…"

"What?" Elena yelped, eyes wide.

Damon let out a hearty laugh. "Joke, Elena. I make them from time to time."

"Oh," Elena's heart beat slowly settled back down to its normal rate.

After signing and initialing in a few more places, Damon smiled and tapped the papers back into a more organized pile. "Alright, we are official. Thank you for doing this, Elena." He held out his hand for Elena to shake, something she'd yet to do since she'd denied it in the courtyard last week. She shook it, praying her hands weren't as sweaty as they typically got when she was nervous.

"So is there anything else I need to know before meeting you on Friday?" Elena asked.

"Well, I'll text you more details as I'm getting them. I'm not handling all the specifics. But yes. I guess now would be the time to share those three rules."

Elena had actually completely forgotten about his extra set of rules. "Oh, yes, of course."

Damon settled back into his chair, lazily intertwining his hands in his lap. "Number one: you're required to stay for the full six months, no exceptions. This is a rush job in the first place, so there are no breaks."

Elena swallowed, but didn't argue. She did note in her head that this six month vacation would fall over the holidays. She wouldn't be able to go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas? This was rough.

"Number two: if I ask for you, you come."

Where soul meets body

"Excuse me?" That one threw her. "What century do you reside in?"

"It's part of the job. I'll be relaying information to you on my own time and how I please. I don't particularly care to do this whole 'life story' thing but since it's required of me, I will do it my way and my way only. So if I want to talk to you at noon or three in the morning, you'll come with notebook in hand. Is that clear?"

Elena grumbled. It didn't seem that terrible. "Fine. You sound like a caveman though. You might want to work on your delivery."

Damon chuckled. "I hope to never do this again."

Elena sighed. "Alright, Salvatore, what's the last one?"

"You are not permitted to drink while on this trip."

"What?" Elena asked, shock marring her features.

"You heard me, Ms. Gilbert."

"I can't drink while you're on a six month binge drinking fest? That's absurd!"

"No. That's the rules."

Elena's mouth was agape. "So what am I supposed to do while you and your brothers are off gallivanting and having a good time? Knit?"

"If that's your hobby of choice, sure. Look, Elena, I don't want anything distracting you from your job at hand. Most other companies wouldn't allow you to drink on the job. This one just happens to be in a much more tempting environment."

Elena huffed. His argument made some sense, but it still seemed absurd. "So I have no breaks, no free will, and no alcoholic privileges?"

Damon smirked and stood up, pacing towards the floor-to-ceiling window and looking out over the horizon. "Look, you're the one using me here. This is the only job on the planet where you'll receive the kind of benefits you're about to get. Did you really expect there to be no sacrifices?"

Elena gulped. "No, of course not." She felt like a child who'd been scorned for naivety.

"Good," Damon pivoted, facing her again with an expression that deemed their conversation officially over. "Well, everything's official now. You're free to leave. Make sure you have your phone nearby so I can give you details as they arrive."

"Alright," Elena now felt excruciatingly awkward. "Thank you for the opportunity, I guess." She cursed herself, knowing her nervous statement would only bring about that perpetual smirk. Elena determined that leaving was the best option, so she turned and exited as gracefully as she possibly could.

Once out in the hall, she did her best to get back to the lobby, although the unmarked doors and numerous hallways made it difficult. She took a deep sigh of relief once she did find her way to the front, happy that at least one of her difficult tasks was accomplished for the day. Of course, she still had to deal with a judgmental roommate back at the apartment. But before she could get to the elevators, a female voice called her name.

"Elena, Mr. Salvatore would like to see you."

Elena stopped dead in her tracks. He what? She turned to Sarah, who was sitting at the front desk typing happily away at her computer as though her request wasn't as bizarre as it actually was.

"I was just there," Elena replied.

"I'm aware, but he wants to see you again."

Elena realized her mouth must be getting tired from all of the times her jaw had dropped today. She took a deep, calming breath and made the trek back through the halls. He must have just forgotten something.

"Good, you're back," Damon smiled once she entered. He was standing at the bookcase nearest to the door.

"Um, yes. Did you forget to tell me something?"

Damon shook his head. "Nope. Just giving you some practice."

Elena cocked her head. "Practice?"

"For coming when I call you."

Elena had to physically fight for her mouth not to gape. She also had to bite her lip so that she wouldn't say anything horrendously obscene. "Alright." Her voice was teetering on the edge of unbridled anger.

"Don't look so pissy, Ms. Gilbert. I do have a reason for calling you in here besides that." Damon turned from the stacks and approached her, only standing about two feet away.

"And that is?"

"You never answered my question from earlier."

Elena crinkled her eyebrows in confusion. "Your question?"

"Yes, Elena." Damon let out an exasperated sigh. "What is your favorite song?"

Ahh, yes. The completely out-of-the-blue question from earlier. "Umm, I'm not sure. I like a lot of music so it's hard."

Damon's flirtatious glance turned into a sharp glare. "Elena, answer the question."

"I don't know, Damon. Honestly, I don't think I have a favorite." Why in the world did answering this question mean so much to him?

And I do believe it's true

That there are roads left in both of our shoes

But if the silence takes you

Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes I hold you near

Cause you're the only song I want to hear

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

"Let me rephrase this. There's a new rule. When I ask you a question, you answer it and you answer it honestly. I don't particularly like to play the 'you depend on me' card, but I can easily do it. So answer the damn question."

Elena's throat felt suddenly dry. Well, now she knew she would need at least a chapter to talk about his control issues. "Umm, I guess… Can't Take My Eyes Off of You."

Elena was happy to see that at least a portion of the shock she'd experienced today would be shared by Damon. "Hmm… interesting. Didn't take you for a Valli girl."

"Can I just go, Damon?" Elena asked, suddenly desperate to leave, gripping her fringe bag nervously. Elena was about to leave without his invitation, but she noticed his cocky and angry gaze had inexplicably softened. He took a step closer, maintaining eye contact.

"Elena, my intentions are never to make you uncomfortable. Do I like it when I shake you a bit? Sure. But I would never want to make you feel uncomfortable. Please know you should inform me if I ever do cross that line." Elena's only response was a gulp. "Elena?"

Elena shook her head. "Yes, of course." Never in her life had Elena felt this out of her element. She had no clue how to foretell this man's actions and every time she thought she'd nailed him, he made a complete 180. If she could barely explain him to herself, she wondered how in the hell she'd be able to write a whole book on him. Before he could say anything, her flight instinct kicked in. "I'll see you on Friday," she said hastily as she rushed out of his office and back into the safety of a world she could actually predict.

So what'd you think? Please leave your reviews so I can know. I know it takes a minute or so of your day but they're my life source when it comes to writing. Next chapter will be the big Bonnie/Elena talk and of course, the beginning of this big ol' vacation with Damon and the rest of the Originals. What do you think will happen? Will Bonnie be okay with Elena's change of plans? How soon do you think it will be until Damon toes that line again? And of course, where the heck do you think Damon's taking her?

P.S. Let me know if you've read 50 Shades yet. I read the first two last month and am mildly inspired by the characters in there for this, but don't worry. This story will not be going in the direction that one did ahahahha ;)