Just a Distraction

Penny focused her mind back on the television after her little discussion with Sheldon. She wondered if he truly could ever just let himself go and stop being so afraid of letting his emotions take reign of his body. She wondered why he had become like that, if he was born that way or if something happened that forced him to become so… for lack of a better word, frigid. She also wondered why Amy put up with it. She basically gave him everything he wanted, getting nothing in return except someone to call her boyfriend. He barely even acted like a boyfriend, and when he did it was only because he was obligated to by his silly contract. Penny shook her head slightly, feeling bad for Amy and what she had to put up with, when Leonard started to stir on her lap. She stroked his hair in an attempted to soothe him back to sleep, but it didn't work and his eyes cracked open.

"Go back to sleep sweetie, you've only been out for less than an hour." She said softly as she grazed his cheek with the back of her hand.

Sheldon shot around in his chair with a look of slight fear in his face, clutching his throat as he noticed that Leonard was awake. "Relax Sheldon, your throat is safe…" She said and he relaxed, "for now." She said under her breath and he furrowed his brow before turning back to his laptop.

Penny looked down at Leonard, who was smiling up at her. "You threatened his throat again?" He croaked as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

"I didn't want him to wake you up." She said with a shrug. "How was your sleep?"

Leonard turned back on to his side and groaned as he pushed his face close to her stomach and pulled his hands up to his chest again. "Great."

Penny giggled and rested her hands on his head, "Good."

Sheldon spun around in his chair again, "Okay Penny, you have spent enough time on my spot. It is now five o'clock, and Dr. Who is about to start, so move." He said as he motioned for her to shoo away from his spot.

Penny groaned and was about to protest, when Leonard mumbled, "You are a real pain in the ass Sheldon do you know that?" And she couldn't help but giggle.

"Yes, well, in ten days you won't have to deal with me, so come on, move." He walked over and stood beside Leonard's chair, waiting for them to get up.

Penny felt a sting to the heart at the abrupt mention of him leaving. It was so easy to forget he was going, because everything around them was still as it always was. She cleared her throat of the lump that was slowly forming and moved her feet from the coffee table as Leonard sat up and reached over for his glasses. "I should get back to work anyway." He said as he stood up.

Penny's heart sunk. She knew he had to finish what work he had left, but the days were going fast and she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he went away. "How much work do you have left?" She asked as she scooted over, allowing Sheldon to take over his spot.

Leonard was about to answer, but Sheldon's groaning interrupted him. Both Leonard and Penny looked at him in confusion, although they knew what was bothering him. "This is why I don't let people sit in my spot." He said as he wiggled his body around. Leonard shook his head, having already heard this complaint from him in the past and knowing where it was going, he headed over to sit at his desk. "You, Penny, have ruined my imprint in the cushion, whilst simultaneously making the leather warm."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Penny asked confusedly. "I love sitting on a warm seat."

"No it's not a good thing!" Sheldon replied. "I like the cool feeling of the leather when I sit down, and you, you blonde, cornhusking rebel, have ruined it for me." He said shaking his head as he grabbed the remote to change the channel.

"Maybe you should go walk around outside for an hour and come back, and then the seat will be cool again." Leonard said without turning his attention from his laptop. "Or you know, just don't come back."

"No." Sheldon replied simply, while Penny grinned. "Now everyone be quiet; Dr. Who is starting."

Penny sat for a few moments, trying her hardest to get herself interested in the programme Sheldon was watching, but she just couldn't do it. She glanced up at Leonard who was typing away on his laptop, and decided it was probably best she just went back into her own apartment to leave the guys to do their own thing. She got up, walked over to Leonard and touched him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Is everything okay?" He asked without turning his attention from the screen.

"I'm going to go home honey."

"Are you sure?" He said, turning around in his chair to face her.

"Yeah." She replied with a half smile, "You have work to do and watching Dr. Who with Dr. Crazy doesn't interest me at all."

"Shh." Leonard said, putting a finger to his lips. "If he hears you say that you will be in trouble, you know how much he loves that show."

"I'm already in trouble anyway for sitting in his stupid spot." She said, grinning. She moved closer to him and put her hands around his neck. "Don't sit up all night working again, okay?" Leonard hesitated slightly, knowing that he still had a lot of work left to do, but she persisted. "I'll wait up for you coming to bed." She said then bent down and gave him a kiss.

"No Penny, don't do that. I don't know when I'll be finished."

"Well you better get a move on then, because I will be waiting up for you. I'm not going to sleep until you are in bed beside me, okay?" She said, knowing that he would agree because he wouldn't want her sitting up all night waiting on him.

Leonard nodded and quietly said, "Okay. I'll try not to be too late."

She smiled and leant in to kiss him again, "Good. I'll see you later then." She said softly before giving him another quick kiss and leaving him to his work.

Sheldon had been looking past the television, at the couple that was in front of him. For some reason he couldn't focus his mind on Dr. Who, and it was odd, because he loved that show. Something was bothering him, he knew that much, he just couldn't figure out what.

He had watched his friends' loving conversation and tender actions and when usually he would have felt annoyed and repulsed at the show of affection and love, this time he didn't. He found himself feeling something that he could only describe as longing. Longing for what though; for them to be done with their chatter and leave him in peace to watch his show? To be able to be that close in proximity to someone without feeling the need to run in the opposite direction? Or for the love that those two so obviously shared? His mind told him it was the first one, because he didn't want nor need any of those other things, but something in his heart told him different.

He very rarely listened to what his heart felt, because unlike the brain, its decisions weren't rational, logical ones, they were emotional, therefore they could make the wrong judgement, and he couldn't take the chance that he would be wrong about something.

Penny's words still rung in his ear, 'Amy deserves better than you' she had said, 'If you don't start upping your game soon, she will leave you.' Sheldon shook his head, she was wrong, this was Penny, she was always wrong. And what did 'upping your game' mean anyway? This wasn't some board or video game, it was a relationship, how was he supposed to, 'up his game' in a relationship?

He focused his attention back on the television, trying once again to get his mind to concentrate on it, but it was hopeless. His head and his heart were fighting against each other for control; his mind wanted to watch Dr. Who, while his heart wanted to delve further into his psyche and find a way for him to show Amy how much he cared for her. He fought against it though, because he didn't want to search inside himself and give her too much, and run the risk of falling in love.

Love was nothing but an emotion, an emotion that would simply become a distraction. It was just something that would divert his attention him from his work, delaying the time when he would receive his Nobel Prize, but then look at Leonard. He had fallen in love like a hopeless teenager, and although Sheldon thought his work was below par, the rest of the world didn't seem to think so, Dr Stephen Hawking didn't think so.

The whole situation was utterly confusing for him, which wasn't a surprise because emotions usually confused him, although it was usually the emotions of others, and not his own. He usually understood what he felt very well, like he had said to Amy in the past, 'when he has a feeling he knows it.' But right now he didn't know it, he didn't know what he was feeling and why his brain wouldn't focus on the television, it was infuriating. He shouldn't have let Penny sit on his spot. He should have forced her off, whether it woke up Leonard or not. He should have taken the punch to the throat, because she would have left and wouldn't have put all of these silly thoughts into his brain, and he would have been able to watch Dr. Who in peace.

He battled with himself for much of the rest of the evening. They ordered food, which he barely ate. He tried to watch his regular listing of programmes, but his brilliant mind refused to focus and he went to bed, a little before nine o'clock, tired, annoyed and completely confused. But even although he had gone to bed, his mind refused to let him sleep. It kept on running through everything that was going on around him, all the change and all the emotions. He thought of Amy and whether she really did deserve better than him. No, that couldn't be true, he was Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, the world class physicist with an IQ higher than most, there simply was no-one better. But Penny wasn't referring to his brilliant mind, she was more interested in what was in that infernal book. Why did all women have to be so driven by their biological needs? If they didn't his relationship with Amy would be perfect. He wasn't completely opposed to the idea of a physical relationship, he had been making small strides in that area recently, he just wasn't sure if those small strides were enough for her. He hoped they were, because he didn't want Penny to be right, he didn't want to lose Amy.

Leonard continued with his work for a good while after Sheldon had gone to bed. He didn't really take note of the fact that he had gone to bed rather early, but for these past few days he had barely taken note of anything that was happening around him. He was excited about leaving for his trip but excitement was only one of the emotions he felt. He also felt scared, anxious, worried, sad, and nervous. It was a boiling pot of emotions and they were distracting him from completing his work.

It was past twelve before he finished his paper, and he almost headed straight to his room on autopilot. It was only when he reached the corridor he remembered Penny was waiting up in her apartment for him. The thought made him smile, the one thing he really needed right now was to be in her arms. That nap earlier on in the day had been wonderful, and it was made that way because of her. He had snapped at her, she should have walked out, but she didn't, she just figured out why he was being that way and helped him fix it. He loved that, he was going to miss that.

He grabbed his phone and keys and left his apartment to go to hers. He quietly opened her door and tiptoed through the dark room to her bedroom door just in case she had fallen asleep, and when he opened her door he saw that she had. She had tried to stay up, that was evident by the laptop that was sitting on the empty side of the bed, still buzzing with power; she hadn't been out long. He took off his clothes so he was in just his t-shirt and boxers and headed to the bathroom to clean his teeth, walking ever so slowly to keep the noise level down.

Once he was finished in the bathroom he unplugged her laptop, turned it off and sat it on the floor then took his glasses off and crawled into bed beside her. She was facing away from him, curled up in a little ball, but as he moved over to cuddle in beside her, she made some sleepy noises and turned around. Leonard squinted in the darkness to see if she was awake, and when his eyes adjusted to the dark light, he saw that she wasn't; she was still sleeping soundly. He smiled, he was glad. Glad that she was still asleep and he hadn't woken her up, and glad that she was now facing him, because he felt like he had hardly seen her all day. It didn't matter that she was asleep, all that mattered was that he was with her now, looking at her beautiful face and he honestly wondered for more than a few moments if he was going to be able to survive four months of sleeping in a bed without her in it. Over one hundred and twenty nights he would have to spend alone, on a ship, in the middle of the sea. Leonard felt a tear drop from his heavy eyes as he pushed her hair back behind her ear. If there was going to be anything that would stop him from going on this trip, it was her and he knew deep down that all she would have to do is ask him to stay. She would only have to tell him she was going to miss him, that she loved him and that she didn't want him to go and he would stay. Part of him hoped she would do it and give him the excuse he needs to cancel the trip, four months was too long to spend without the person you loved. But she wouldn't say it, he knew she wouldn't.

Leonard shuffled closer to her, putting his face so close to hers that their noses were gently pressed together. He gave her a little kiss on the lips and rested his hand on her hips as he drifted off to sleep, trying his best to remove all thoughts of leaving her in only ten days.