Disclaimer: If I owned The Office, would I be writing here?

A/N: This is a continuation of the previous chapter. This time, it's Jim's POV. Hope you like. Like I said before, reviews are crucial! I need them so that I can continue! Thanks again.

Jim/Pam's thoughts: (Between 'The Job' and 'Fun Run'. Flashbacks throughout Season 3)

Pam shakes her head and picks up her section and continues to read. At that moment, Jim walks over to the counter for more coffee. As he is making more, he looks at Pam reading an article. He chuckles to himself, watching her read with such intensity, but not nearly as much intensity he feels for her.

Jim:

Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure this is real. Is my life finally going my way? I couldn't even begin to think that a year ago. A year ago, I was headed towards the ultimate crossroads. My right was Stamford, a refuge of sorts, screaming my name. It was a place where I could start over, start fresh, find myself again, the me that I was before Pam, the me that actually liked waking up everyday, the me that actually enjoyed my pranks on Dwight. I wanted to be me again, and going to Stamford would be my ticket.

My left was Scranton, staying in a dead-end job, seeing the only spark in my life fade away, further and further away from me. At that point, getting out of bed was a chore, eating became unbearable and butterflies in my stomach every time I glanced her way became a strange comfort, at least than I knew I was breathing. I was reduced to an imitation of myself, nothing more. Being around her was my comfort and my curse. Being around her and not being with her was tearing me apart. I couldn't function. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe, not unless she was with me. I had this in front of me, change my future with Pam or end my future with Pam. That's what it came down to.

I took a chance (twice) on Pam and my heart, and was rejected (twice). Looking back, it wasn't fair to her, or to me. So I left. What else could I do? Going to Australia would have been stupid. I couldn't enjoy it, not without her at my side enjoying it with me. So, I cashed the ticket and got two tickets to New York and a night in the city for my parent's anniversary. I know, cheesy, but I was feeling particularly romantic, so what the fuck? You know.

Stamford had its perks. Andy, for one, was a Grade A prank target, until he went ballistic. I came up with a great prank for Dwight, Future Dwight, but even that didn't shake the queasy feeling I got every time I heard a phone ring, praying that I'd hear her shy, quiet, but ever so comforting monotone greeting. The fact was I didn't fit in at the Stamford branch. I tried to join in on their activities, playing video games and going to the local bars to soak up some of the area's culture but nothing stuck. Nothing worked. Nothing felt… right. Karen was cool. She was a nice distraction, but that's all she ever was, a distraction. Hearing Pam ending it with Roy was a surprise, but hearing it form Michael Scott… let's put it this way, saying that it hurt worse would be the understatement of the century. Than one night, I caught Pam at work late one Friday, on accident. We talked for hours. At first, I was reluctant to stay on, in fear of what I might say, but after a few awkward moments, she and I where able to talk about everything. I was able to talk to her about Stamford, she told me about her adventures of renting wrong movies and living on her own, finding her independence. As much as I loved talking to her so candidly, I knew it wasn't going to last forever, so when I heard her saying goodbye, I tried to make a run for it, seeing the opportunity present itself, too cowardly to stay on longer and say something a little too candid. To tell the truth, that was the most fun I had in Stamford, bar none.

Coming back to Scranton was easier said than done. I was relieved that Karen was coming. She was someone to talk to and hang out with. Didn't hurt that she was beautiful, either. When the first day coming back arrived, I had pumped myself up to gain the strength to walk through the door to Dunder Mifflin Scranton, to her. Seeing her was not only a shock to reality, but seeing her, I finally felt home, a home where I was safe and warm in her arms. It took all my will power not to kiss her than and there, but I needed to distance myself. I needed to not fall in love again, to not get hurt again. That first day back was the hardest day of my life.

It never got any easier. I noticed that after a while, she stopped doing her hair pretty and went back to 'Classic Pam'. I noticed that she wasn't as forthcoming as she once was. I noticed she didn't smile much anymore. It broke my heart to see any pain cross her face, but what was I supposed to do? A part of me wanted her to feel some pain, a little rejection. But at the same time, all I wanted to do was hold her. There was a point when we pulled a prank on Andy that I thought I saw the same twinkle in her eye, the one that I adored, the one that I thought about when I was lonely in Stamford, the one that made me melt. When Karen came into the conference room, I couldn't just lead her on. Confessing my love for Pam to Karen came so easily, not that I hated to see her so upset. I cared for her, too. She was there for me, my only confidant since the merger. So when she wanted to talk about us, our feelings, about where we were going, I complied. I wanted to make her happy. It was the least I could do. She deserved at least that.

When Pam and Roy had gotten back together, I had truly reached my end. If she wanted to get hurt again, that was on her. I had Karen. I would be OK. I knew Roy would hurt Pam again; it was only a matter of time. But this time, I wasn't going to be her shoulder to cry on. She was on her own. I just had no idea that Roy would try to attack me, which was nuts. I tried to forgive her, knowing that there was some misunderstanding. But the truth was, I couldn't even look at her. I couldn't believe her stupidity, her thoughtlessness. I was so tried of the twisted, strange exchange are relationship had become. I was tired of loving her. I was tired of wanting her. I was tired of Pam. She started to wane on my mind again, but not in a good way. She was just a pest. So when David Wallace called about the position at Corporate, I saw a chance to leave Scranton, to leave Pam for good.

At the coal walk, I had finally reached a point of consciousness where I could enjoy Michael's antics and Dwight's sycophancy without the constant reminder of the repercussions, seeing that I had a little over a week there, tops. Than Pam came over to the group, smiling and looking determined. She held the same spirit she had all those months ago, when I thought that maybe, just maybe the attraction wasn't completely one-sided. She started talking about her walking across the coals, and how no one came to her art show, by which I had no idea about. I always loved her artwork. Than, she turned to me. She looked me straight in the eye, something she never did before. I was blown away by her attention she commanded by the group, by me. She told me that she missed me, that she missed having fun with me, that she left Roy for me, that he was a mistake, that I was what she wanted, needed all along. She didn't falter once, and she finished with a smile on her face, the smile that haunted my dreams for months, for years.

When I walked over to her by the lake, I had no idea what to say to this woman. She wasn't the Pam I knew before Stamford or after. She was the girl I spoke to over the phone all those months ago, the one who confused '28 Days' with '28 Days Later'. Fancy New Beesly. This Pam was the one I wanted to see more, the Pam I carved, the Pam that I wanted to know and adore. She wanted me to come back, to be the 'Old Jim'. If only she knew how much I wanted to be that guy again. To be the carefree slacker that I was comfortable with. But that wouldn't be easy, and she knew it. So I tried. We started to talk again at work. We laughed about Michael's stupid ideas and Dwight's beet culture. I almost forgot how funny she was, how she made me laugh like no one else. I almost forgot how much I missed her laughter, how well it sounded with mine, how it fit so well. Of course Karen wanted to make sure that things didn't change between us. Which they didn't, just Pam and me were friends again. Karen became more and more involved in our impending interviews, determined that this was going to change our lives. She suggested I get a haircut for it. I complied. It looked nice and Pam liked it.

The day before the interview seemed almost as hard as the first day I came back form Stamford. A week before, the day couldn't get here fast enough, but now, everything changed. Pam and I were friends again. She and I were in sync again. Karen was eager to leave Scranton as fast as she could, I couldn't blame her. She hated it in Scranton. So we left early, with Michael's permission. It didn't strike me until I was walking out the door with Karen that it might be the last time I see Pam as my equal. I could come back as her boss. I don't want to even think about that awkwardness. I'll just leave you with two words: Michael Scott.

During my interview, I was really happy at my responses, having practicing some in the bathroom. I was really comfortable with David and knew if this was going to be our rapport, I was already hired. Than I saw the gold yogurt lid. I was literally blinded by the memories of that day. Blowing off work and having fun at the office with everyone, not only Pam. I lost my train of thought and couldn't hear David's question. Whatever I said, he liked so I didn't protest. The next question however I heard loud and clear. Long haul? Where do you see yourself in ten years? It took no time at all to think of where I would be, where I wanted to be, where I needed to be. Pam. Where else could I be? She was in my every move, feeling, thought, and dream. She was my past, present and future. My only future. I respectfully removed myself from consideration and left that building. There was no thought outside of Pam going through my mind. Karen, Corporate, promotions, New York. Nothing mattered. Pam was my future. Pam was my home.

Looking at her know, reading some art review of a new art gallery that she wants to take me in downtown Scranton, I can't help but laugh. We've been together for two months. Two of the happiest months of my life. Just being near her like this is enough. These moments I cherish the most. I could pinch my arm until I'm blue in the face, but nothing tops this euphoria. I know it may sound corny, but I don't care.

Jim puts fresh coffee in his mug and walks over to Pam. He bends over and kisses her hair, than her forehead. She looks up, "What was that for?" Jim shook his head, "Just having a good morning." As he sits back down, Pam nods, smiling, "Me too."

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