This is a little bit of something I did for Rhinoilla and Operation Levity.
Prompt fill: the moment when Daryl gave up the hunt for the Gov.
He hated being away from them, from her. He knew why he was hunting, but it didn't lessen the ache he started to feel when it was time for Michonne and him to head out again.
Coming home was almost as painful. The last few times they had returned felt different, something was missing.
Carol was still there to greet him, her smile guiding him through the gates, but that smile she saved only for him was getting rarer and rarer. Her eyes seemed shadowed.
He thought of the changes that had taken place over the last few months. He would catch glimpses of her growing strength and was proud of her. The down side was she was also responsible for more duties, more people.
She didn't have as much time for him as she used to. He would go by her cell, but she was off doing something.
He would try to catch her at dinner, but between serving the meals and dealing with everyone, by the time she got to eat, she would just take it with her to her next task.
He fucking hated it. He hated watching her run from job to job.
Hated seeing her empty cell.
Hated not being able to see her.
Part of him feared she was avoiding him, but she was always at the gate when he would leave and when he would come home.
Part of him feared someone else was maybe bonding with her.
Part of him feared he was losing her before he ever had her.
He missed her teasing, her gentleness.
He missed the way she would jump his ass if it was called for.
He missed HER!
The trail was getting colder and colder. They hadn't had a sign in the two months they had been looking. Michonne was dead set on looking for the one eyed prick, but he was starting to feel the call less and less. He wanted the bastard dead, there was no doubt about that, he just had less drive to be the one to look, to hunt, to…
While they were on the road he began to be plagued by dreams.
Dreams of her smile, her laugh, her smell, her arms wrapping around him and the heartbreaking blue of her eyes.
He dreamed of the sounds of giggles and sighs that morphed into moans of pleasure.
He dreamed of her hands gliding over his back, sliding into his hair.
He dreamed of her arms holding him close as she whispered to him, her breath ghosting over his face as he turned to kiss her.
He liked those dreams, even if they made the ache that much deeper in his heart. Even when Michonne would throw something at him while he slept because he was "gonna call down every damn walker for miles named Carol!"
Michonne kept herself for the most part, but they would once in a while share brief conversations. They talked about Andrea and Merle, about the prison. They didn't talk about the "before" or the "future". They talked weapons and cars.
Things changed on their last trip out.
Carol had been called away before they could share their normal good bye "Stay safe" "Nine lives"
He felt the pain of the missing goodbye like a knife to his gut, to his heart.
He couldn't keep his head on the hunt, instead he was lost in the abyss of missed chances and denied opportunities.
Night was quickly falling and they had lucked out and found a cabin to stay in.
Eating the dried food Carol had packed for them, he couldn't help but be jealous of the piece of meat. The last hands to touch it had been HERS.
He offered to take watch so Michonne could get some rest, but she had other ideas.
"You know, your heart isn't in this anymore."
"I know" he says quietly.
"You should have stayed."
"Yeah"
"You ever going to tell her?"
"Tell her what?" he didn't need to hear the name, they both knew who they were talking about.
"Tell her you love her?"
He didn't answer and after a while Michonne walked to her mat and settled down to sleep.
He kept watch all night, afraid to face what his dreams would show him, make him feel.
The feeling that Carol was drifting further and further away from him was growing.
She didn't need him to save her, didn't need him to teach her, didn't need him to protect her… not anymore.
He wondered if she NEEDED him, needed him like he was starting to fully understand he needed her.
Watching as the darkness gave way to the pink and red tinged hues of the sunrise, he finally understood what Michonne was saying to him.
She was telling him this wasn't his place anymore.
He wasn't meant to be here, something, no someone else called him home.
Michonne awoke shortly after his epiphany and looked over at her friend.
"We'll head back in just a few minutes."
He knew she wanted to be on the hunt, but she was doing this for him.
He gave her a brief nod in agreement.
They packed up their belongings and headed back to the home they had left the day before.
Carol was standing there, waiting and looking confused.
As he walked in the gate, he saw her smile was smaller than it had been the day before.
"Is everything ok?" she asked, the worry dripping from the simple words.
Michonne looked over at the other woman and gave a flash of her smile.
"Yeah, He forgot something really important."
Carol turned to him with questioning eyes, "What did you forget?"
He stood there, not knowing how to answer.
Michonne saved him again just as she had several times over on the road.
"He forgot he needed to be here." with that Michonne patted him on the shoulder and with a smile and a wave to Carol, she walked back out of the gate to continue her hunt.
"Daryl?" was all Carol could say, sharing the question that had been in her eyes.
"I'm staying home." was his answer.
He watched as the light grew behind her blue eyes causing them to shimmer in the early morning light.
He watched as her smile, HIS smile, graced her lips.
"Really?" she asked
"Yeah, I'm staying."
She reached over slipped her hand into his giving him a quick squeeze.
"You hungry?" she asked,
"I could eat."
He nudged her with his arm as they walked to the kitchen.
It's not just who you would die for that matters, it's who you would LIVE for.