Hi, here's chapter two. A big 'thank you' to Nyslirthe for the review! Everyone else, please write a review, whether you like the fanfic or not. Eternal gratitude and cyber cookies to anyone who does!

-Saphella

Disclaimer: Not mine

Petunia and Dudley cautiously bent over Vernon and gently shook him. His eyes fluttered open briefly, but his face remained a zombie-like grey.

"The letter, Petunia, the letter," he moaned.

Gingerly, as though afraid that it might be poisoned, Petunia picked up the letter from the floor and opened it. Her eyes moved silently across the page as she read and re-read the letter, her face turning even paler than her husbands.

"Mum?" Dudley asked, panicking. "What is it? Are they coming for us?"

Petunia would have had to sit down if she hadn't been kneeling on the floor already. She didn't seem to hear her son and her eyes remained on the parchment, staring in shock and disbelief at the words elegantly inked onto it.

"Mum?" Dudley repeated, more urgently this time. "What is it? Are you going to faint to?"

Petunia's eyes lingered on those fated words. "You have been accepted at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry." She had seen almost exactly the same letter before, once addressed to her sister and many times addressed to her nephew. Only a few words were different, the mark of a new head teacher, the logical part of her mind suggested in an attempt to revive itself. How could she be seeing it again, addressed not to a disowned child, but to her, her husband and her son? Dudley was eighteen now, far too old, and as for her… well, it didn't take a mathematician to do the sums.

"Mum?"

Dudley waved a hand in front of her face, blocking out the letter for a second. She finally remembered to blink and then she looked back at the words of the parchment as though blinking might have changed them.

"Petunia?" It was Vernon interrupting her thoughts this time. "What are they thinking? Is it… punishment? From the boy?"

"I don't know," Petunia managed to whisper.

"No," Dudley said. His voice was somewhat louder than usual and made Petunia jump.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" she asked, recovering quickly.

"Harry wouldn't do that," Dudley explained, blushing slightly.

"What makes you think that, son?" Vernon asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder awkwardly. "You know that boy's no good."

"He saved my life!" Dudley said, pushing Vernon's hand off him. "He saved all of our lives, and we never did one thing to thank him. Besides, he's not got the time to think of pranks, even if he did want to."

"Rubbish…" Vernon began. A look of comprehension dawned on his face. Sometimes, Dudley thought, watching his father's expressions was funnier than TV.

"Hang on," Vernon continued, "how do you know he's not got the time? Have you been in contact with him?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Vernon, Dudders hardly ever gets letters," Petunia protested.

"His owl takes them," Dudley burst out. "His owl brings his letters and takes my replies back."

Vernon and Petunia stared at him.

"His…" Vernon stammered.

"You…" Petunia whispered weakly.

"Yes, and I'm not ashamed," Dudley declared. He belatedly paused for dramatic effect. "So what does the letter say?" he asked again.

Petunia wordlessly passed him the letter and he struggled to read it.

"What? How…?" Dudley's face went through all the colour changes that his father's had, but he managed to miss out the fainting stage.

"But we're too old," he said, looking at Petunia. "Mum, I thought they left school at seventeen?"

"Hang on," Vernon said suddenly, grabbing the letter off Dudley with force that threatened to tear it. "What does this say on the back?"

Petunia looked over his shoulder as he read it.

"A representative of the school will visit to more fully inform you of arrangements at nine thirty-seven PM precisely."

This writing was untidy, as though someone had scribbled it as an afterthought.

"What time is it now?" Vernon asked, petrified. All of their eyes turned towards the clock in the corner of the forgotten television screen.

"Vernon…" Petunia whispered. "That's in five seconds."

Four… three… two… one… They counted in their heads, frozen in place.

BANG!

The noise came from the hall and Vernon crawled around the corner at Petunia's silent urging and hand-flapping.

"Sorry about that!"

Rubeus Hagrid picked up the front door and replaced it in the space where it had stood for all of its life. He turned to face Vernon.

"Any chance of a cuppa?" he asked.