Self-Reliance

Lately, it's been difficult for me to form opinions. It seems that the more I speak with people, the more I wish to be silent because whatever I say, I find I don't truly understand or believe it. Then it becomes silly for me to say anything at all, and I wonder if I seem stupid or thoughtless for having no opinions... for having nothing to say. The thoughts I used to think are easily changed by the conviction of others, and my own conviction weakens. I simply stand in awe of others' convictions even when I know better.
I wonder what makes a person if not his or her beliefs--the mind... If I do not know anything, who am I? My actions are now groundless. I act out of impulse, without reason. Without reason, my actions are simply illusions... actions that do not define me because... I don't know why I take them. My actions could be right or wrong, but I wouldn't know.

This all kills me because I'm... just a kid. I'm supposed to be this confused, apparently.

I don't even know what the hell to think of that. I'm just trying my best not to end up getting all Holden Caulfield ...on myself.

"Sire, what are you going to do with this boy?"

"Why is he so important to you, Paul?" asked the king as he looked down to the kneeling knight in front of him. "I've never seen you so upset over a child before."

"My apologies, your highness.."

The king frowned in worry at one of his closest friends' anxiety. He stood up and approached the knight, who was lost in thought.

"Some fresh air may do us both some good..."

Two figures could be seen leisurely strolling along the royal garden's path. They were silent, each one waiting for the other to speak. Paul broke first.

"He was just so arrogant!" he growled. "I've never lost my temper so before! I see now that what the boy did was right. But, such pride! He spoke so strangely, and his looks were foreign. I was suspicious, and...never before has such a common child dared raise his voice to me! I.. I just don't know what came over me."

He then turned to his king, who had been patiently listening.

"I humbly apologize, your majesty, for having disgraced you in front of your people."

The king then laughed at his friend and took hold of the shoulder of the bowed knight.

"Enough formalities, Paul. We've been together since we were infants. Sometimes, I believe that I know you better than you know yourself. Your actions today were strange for you, but you don't seem to have lost your mind," he insisted. "I agree that this boy is.. different, and that something must be done. We can ask questions once he wakes up, but until then, let's enjoy the roses." The king turned around and faced the beauty before him. "The queen is so fond of them, and I am due to form my own opinions about them soon."

The two friends smiled, and momentarily forgot their problems as if the spring breeze truly did blow worries away.

This was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to her. It was so crazy that all she could do was lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. When she woke up earlier, she had found herself lying in a large, expensive bed in a very large, very expensively decorated room. She already knew that this wasn't a dream when she woke up because she recognized that internal feeling of waking up to reality. Anyway, pinching oneself is unnecessary and looks fairly idiotic.

Grace sighed. She was unfamiliar with the world of cos-play, and had no idea what these fanatics were capable of. How far will they go?

She needed to come up with a plan, but was still very groggy.

"shiittttttttt... I have a CALCULUS exam tomorrow, for God's sake!" she groaned and rolled over on the bed.

Why did this have to happen to me?! ahhhh!!

Grace then proceeded to very calmly beat her head against the pillow...repeatedly.

"Excuse me..."

"Huh?" Grace reluctantly stopped to turn around and look at the newcomer at the door.

Oh.. wow.. As always, in the face of a cute boy, any potential personality quirks were momntarily forgotten. Oh my god.. He's ridiculously gorgeous!

But I can't forget, she mentally shook herself, he has to have something wrong with him to be here at all. Golly gee damn, life is unkind.

"Oh! Sorry.. what's up?" she managed to ask.

"What's.. up?" the boy repeated slowly.

"Um.. yeah... uh... Did you need something?"

"Actually," he recovered from his confusion with bright, innocent smile. "I've come to see if I could be of service to you."

Grace internally snickered but then quickly reprimanded herself in horror. Oh! Bad, Grace, bad!

"Well, I've been wondering about what's going to happen to me... I mean.. you're not going to throw me into a pot and make a stew out of me or anything, right?" she said half-jokingly and half.. not.

"Oh! I was only kidding!" she quickly said at the boy's terror. She laughed nervously. "I'm obviously new here, so I kind of don't know what to expect. Could you help me out a little?"

Grace began to feel sorry for the boy as she watched his terrified expression now change to a worried one.

"I honestly do not know. We have never had a circumstance like you before... However, you are quite young, and..." Here, he looked up at her with a wide smile. "You do not seem to be very hostile."

Although she was initially offended at his attitude towards her apparent age... I can't be much younger than him! ...it was quickly forgotten once again at the wake of his charming smile.

"I am only relieved that you are not a girl... "

"I'm sorry.. what?"

"There's actually a search for someone of your..." he waved in her general direction, "...looks. Only the royal family knows of it because it's supposed to be a secret. But, never mind that," he shook his head absently. "We don't have to think about it."

Crap!

"...You're ROYAL?!"