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" Oh Edward."

God, I felt like I couldn't get enough of this woman, She was so close yet so far away.

" mm, please baby, fuck me"

Well, if she insisted, I laid her across the counter and pinned her arms above her head, I started peppering her with open mouthed kisses. On her beautiful chest, at her pulse point on her neck, down her smooth, slender arms. I couldn't believe this was really happening, she came in this morning, and when I asked her if she wanted her usual, she replied in the sexiest tone ever,

"No, just you."

At this point my lower half and I had a short discussion, and we both decided it would definitely be in our best interest to proceed. After a brief mental high five between myself and my manhood, are mouths connected, and our tongs began to dance in the most passionate way, without any objections I dove into her heat. It was beyond what I ever expected, hell it was so much better. I was so close to my release, watching her this way only brought me that much closer, and when she started panting my name, I knew I was done for. " Edward, oh God, Edward, don't stop, I love you so much beep."

I stared at her in confusion. She opened her mouth to talk again. " Beep?" The hell... " BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I was pulled from my sleep from none other than, my fucking alarm clock ladies and gents, who woulda' though. After silencing the piece of shit machine I threw my head back forcefully against my pillow.

It had all been a dream, I had a feeling this was my subconscious' way of telling me to get a move on and do something about my infatuation with Bella. And it's not like I could disagree with it. It's not like there was much standing in my way, I was in no way atrocious looking, as many woman had shown interest over the years. But Isabella Marie Swan was not just any woman, she was an angel incarnate, and there was no fucking way an angel could ever fall for me.

Ever since her first visit to Brewed Awakenings, she had become one of our daily costumers, I was usually the one to greet her and get her her morning cup of coffee, she later informed me that she would have to make two other stops during the day, she consumed a lot of coffee. I jokingly replied that my coffee was a little jealous, to which she couldn't seem to stop laughing at. Joking aside, I was a little sad that I was not the only person that fulfilled her caffeine needs... Oh hey Edward, Anne Hathaway called, looking for her vagina...

I let out a frustrated sigh and ran my hand through my disheveled hair. It was not only my subconscious who was after me about this, it seemed like every fucking person I knew was shouting at me half the time to grow a pair, and show Isabella that I was interested in her. What they failed to understand was that, the moment I met Bella, things had changed for me. Ever since my dad died, I put up this wall between me and the outside world.

Of course I had gotten better over time, but apart of me died that day, in the emergency room, when the doctors told my hysterical mother and I that they did everything they could, but in the end his heart just wasn't strong enough. That phrase still bothers me, because it wasn't true. My father was the strongest mother fucker who ever lived, and I'd be damned if anyone was going to tell me different.

Now don't go thinking that I blame the doctors because I didn't. They truly did everything they could to save my dad, but sometimes the universe has an unexpected game plan, and we just have to follow it. My father's words, not mine. When he was alive it seemed like we talked about everything under the sun. Life, career, girls, our fears, our hopes, and inevitably, death.

" You see son," My father started talking to me as we walked to the baseball field behind our house, it was the beginning of summer, I had just finished my junior year of high school, and in between filling out college applications, and helping my mom out with her catering gigs, this seemed to be the only time were it was just me and my old man, just being.

" I need you to understand something Edward, so hear me out before you go all Rocky Balboa on me alright?"

I didn't understand what he was going on about, after a long pause that seemed to last a life time, he continued. " I need you to understand something about life, and about death, because as odd as it may seem, they're almost the same thing." I stared at him for a moment before I said anything. " Dad, where the hell is this coming from, did you wake up with some sort of epiphany? I can get you a pad and pen in case you wanna right this shit down or something." I laughed.

" Edward Anthony, I know it may seem like a lot to ask, but for just a second I need you to shut that big mouth of your and take your old man seriously." I got my laughter under control and nodded my head, letting him know that I was ready to listen.

" I'm not going to be here forever Ed, hell none of us are, but I need you to understand something right now, while I'm able to tell it to you."

" Dad-"

He gave me a look, " What happened to closing you mouth and listening?" We shared a moment of silence before he started back up again.

" I need you to never be afraid of death, you can be afraid of what ever the hell you want to be afraid of, women, college, who you want to be when you get older, your mother, I just need you to promise me that you wont be afraid of having to leave this world. What you should be afraid of is never meeting someone who makes you feel whole, makes you feel that your life is worth living in the first place. When I was younger, I thought I had this whole fucking place figured out, and that my life was gonna be what ever I wanted it to."

He gave a long, thoughtful pause. "Then I met her, and that's when I truly started to live my life, because before your mother, I was living a distant half one, and let me tell you after learning what life could be like, I never wanted to go back to what I thought I wanted, thought I needed. She made me realize that I didn't know two shits about anything, and that was alright, because I figured it out with her by my side. That's why I'm talking about life and death being so similar. I may have been breathing before I met your mother, but I didn't start living until I had her.

Now I understand that you're a teenage boy, and there's no way you can go around not wanting to experience being with a girl, but just know that all that, it means absolutely nothing, not until you find the person that makes it mean something."

My father's words stuck with me for a long time, and they made dealing with his death a lot easier, because his life was so much better than half the people in this world, because he had something that defined his existence as life in the first place, and that was my mom.

I didn't feel that I could just tell Bella how I felt about her, because I knew right when I met her that she was it for me, and there was no way in hell that I was screwing it up. I may seem a little biased, because my only encounters with her happen at 8:35 on weekday mornings, but I know her, fuck do I know her. I learned so much about Isabella Swan, and she didn't seem to mind my questions in the slightest.

I know that her favorite book is Jane Eyre, and that when she starts talking about it, she becomes so passionate, that I don't believe she even knows that anyone is around her. I know that she loves tiramisu, but never eats the lady fingers at the bottom, according to her, they are soggy and ruin the fluffy taste that the chocolate creates. I know that she has broken her arm in four different places before she turned the age of twenty one. I know that she has a very eclectic taste in music, ranging from indie rock, to pop, to jazz, but that her all time favorite song is "I wanna hold your hand" by the Beatles, because when she was little her mom would always hum it to her to help her fall asleep.

Then there were the things about Bella Swan that she didn't tell me about, because I learned them on my own. Like the fact that when she puts her hair up, a tiny beauty mark on the side of her neck becomes visible. Or that when she's deep in though she twirls the ends of her hair around her pointer finger, and she's not even aware of it until she sees the tiny curls that she's created. Or that when she forgets to put her contact lenses in, and she is forced to wear her glasses, she is noticeably embarrassed, but she is not aware of the fact that they make her look adorable, dare I say even more beautiful.

Through out our morning banter, I also learned more things that I don't believe she is aware I know, like that she is obviously a people pleaser, through and through, always trying to be the listener that her mother needs, when her stepfather Phil is otherwise occupied.

She is always taking care of her father Charlie, who lives about an hour away in the small town of forks. She drives home from the university she attends in Seattle every other weekend so that she can go grocery shopping for him, and prepare meals for him in advance so he doesn't starve during the weekdays.

Her best friend since she was six years old is Rosalie Hale, she is trying to open up her own garage, and because all of her money is going towards buying this place, she is staying with Bella, who refuses to let her pay any rent, only allowing her to put any loose change she may have in a bowl on the coffee table in the living room.

Because of all of this, I knew what I felt as a gut reaction ever since I met her was true.

Bella Swan was good, the one thing I seemed to keep asking myself was, was I good enough for Bella Swan?

Sigh, who else wants to give Edward a hug after this chapter, and make his frown turn upside down?

Reviews make Edward happy, and when Edward is happy, he is very willing to take his shirt off...