Summary: Each Varia member has things that they would rather keep to themselves. A combination of light/dark chapters, alternating.

All characters © Amano Akira

What They Don't Want You to Know

Secret #2: Levi has a rather loud hobby.

The Varia headquarters were cool and welcoming, but it did little to improve Levi's mood. Every square inch of his persona was covered in either a) sweat, b) dirt, c) blood, or d) dirt-and-blood combo. The others were in bad shape as well, but Levi had gotten the worst of it when a mafia agent had tackled him in a quagmire. Damn the weather for having just rained.

As they walked in, Bel flopped his bangs around uncomfortably. They were stained red, making his hair look like some hideous dye-job gone wrong. Squalo had a gash running up one arm that looked worse off than it actually was because of all the mud smeared around it. Even Mammon's mantle was torn and grass-stained, despite any illusions of cleanliness he may have had over his body.

All in all, they looked and felt disgusting.

But they were men, nature's sex that was meant at times to get down and dirty. Besides, shit washes off, right?

Well, it would now. It was shower time.

With the exception of Gola Mosca, the six Varia trudged to their respective rooms with that intent, too fatigued to speak or bicker much, even on Squalo's part. Levi knew this was the only opportunity he had, so he waited in his room until he was positive that the others had commenced their showers before beginning his.

He unzipped and stepped out of his Varia uniform, not liking the way it peeled off of his sweaty skin. In his shower, Levi turned the knobs all the way to the left until a jet of compressed hot water shot out of the showerhead. And oh, did it feel good. It felt so good, in fact, that…

"…Life has been good to me…got very few complaints so far…"

He lathered some shampoo into his dark hair and rubbed it around.

"I got the blue sky every mornin', big yellow moon at night…I always do whatever I want to…"

Levi liked the echo his voice made as it reverberated off of the porcelain tiles. It made his tones sophisticated and operatic-sounding: almost like boss's, only a little less crass. He began to wash out the shampoo after a few minutes of lathering, taking his time, and started to scrub at the dirt and blood that was slowly but surely coming off.

"...and everything I do, it always turns out riiiiiggghhhtt…"

Oh god, that water just felt so good on his knotted back.

"HEY, HEY—doo doo-doo, doo doo-doo, HEY, HEY—doo doo-doo, doo doo-doo, HEY, HEY--"

Downstairs, Belphegor and Squalo were ensconced on the sofa with clean towels around their heads and their feet bare.

"Ya think he's a baritone?" Bel grinned, jabbing a thumb to the ceiling.

"Vooiiii, he's definitely a bass," Squalo argued. "Where the hell's Lussuria with that sound recorder?"

Bel couldn't help himself, and giggled. "He's already up there outside Levi's room." Squalo gave a nod of approval, something rarely seen from someone of his explosive caliber.

"Heh, he's pretty damn good." Whether that was referring to Levi's singing or Lussuria's recording ability was left to the imagination.

"Ushishi~ maybe we can give the tape to American Idol, or something."

In the end they ended up sending it to the boss for his birthday.

.

Lyrics are from Randy Newman's Life Has Been Good to Me.