It was a frosty winter day, and Karen had baked a small cake for the local farmer that she somewhat adored, Cecil.
Karen was a pretty girl, with dark blonde hair and deep enchanting green eyes. Cute, but simple facial features; she wore a plain white shirt, a purple sleeveless denim over-shirt, and short blue jeans.
Wrapped up in a red wool scarf with purple wool mittens on her hands, Karen smiled as she walked through the streets of Mineral Town carrying a wicker basket with her still warm cake. For some strange reason, the cake smelled slightly of fish.
She could see her breath in the air, and on her mouth lingered the scent of strong Jack Daniels.
Possibly a little buzzed, she knew it was the start of a good day.
On the edge of town, she noticed smoke coming from behind some trees just off the road. Puzzled, and thinking there was a fire, Karen walked towards the smoke; she also could've sworn there was the smell of sulfur in the air.
Now it's not that Karen would see weird things everyday, causing her to be fully conditioned to evil space demons created by a lost civilization as the survivors found safety through a portal/ark to Mars; or dark mages that could raise hordes of zombies; or even the everyday strolling dwarf with the sparkle of gold lust in his crazy Caribbean eyes. On the contrary, Karen only knew the simple small town life and was a dedicated helper to her father's general store.
Perhaps it was the excess of wine that morning that kept her calm in the situation, one could never know for sure.
Instead of a fire, Karen was surprised to see a large ten foot gash in the ground that led to a cave. There was smoke coming from the cave, and every so often a flame would fly out of the hole in the ground. The girl standing in front of the simple portal to Hell was Charon (ie. Misty, the Water Pokemon Trainer).
Charon stood there with a blank smile starring at Karen.
Karen's mouth slightly dropped as her seldom sober self came around.
"Karen," Charon asked.
"Yes?" Karen replied.
"You know. You've got a similar name as mine?"
"Sure. I baked a cake."
"You're invited to a great tournament in Hell."
"I am," Karen asked inquisitively.
"Yes. If you win, you get a trophy. And a free pass to come stay at our resort any time you'd like--"
Karen interrupted, "What if I lose?"
Charon frowned with a sigh, "actually nothing happens. We give you a participation ribbon. Nothing very eternal really."
"But if you win," Charon continued happily. "You also get a free Winnebago!"
At that moment, the theme from the "Price is Right" began playing faintly. It seemed to be coming from the portal to Hell.
"That's great! Count me in," Karen said. "Just let me deliver this cake and I'll be on my way."
"Sure," smiled the quirky redheaded gatekeeper of Hell.
Karen walked off to deliver her cake, and Bob Barker crawled out the crack to Hell and asked Charon if there was a McDonald's nearby.
Charon declined.
- - - - -
Later in Pokemon Tower…
A line of monks followed each other one by one meditating their prayers to the lost souls of Pokemon passed on.
Unknowingly two floors above the serene moment, was a vigorous battle between Charon's Starmie and a powerful Gengar.
"Starmie! Bubblebeam!" she ordered fiercely. A fire burned brightly in Charon's eyes and she smiled.
The heavyset Starmie flexed it's arms, and from it's epicenter came a sparkling energy that bubbled out and hit the Gengar causing it to fly back into the side wall.
Gritting it's teeth, the dark black ghost slit it's eyes evilly and thrust it's hand forward, shooting out a dark bluish haze towards the starfish Pokemon.
With a quick spinning jump in the air, the Starmie evaded the ghost's attack as it flew through the air like a Frisbee disk. The Starmie landed on it's arms, with an order from it's trainer, it began rolling towards the Gengar and jumped above the black ghost and shot a wave of water at it. But with a quick rebound, the ghost lashed out it's long purple tongue, and wiped the Starmie with a slimy long kiss.
The Starmie fell to the ground and shuddered. Staggering for it's balance, the large Starfish Pokemon fell to the ground shivering. The lick caused the Starmie to become paralyzed with fear.
Calling back her Starmie with a red Pokeball, Charon threw out a weird looking Pokemon that looked like a white hairless bird with colorful spots. "Togetic, Go!"
The Togetic cried out a growl and starred at the Gengar maniacally giggling like Barney the Dinosaur.
With a command from Charon, the Togetic ran towards the Gengar and beamed out a strange wave of energy, throwing the ghost back several feet.
Charon grabbed an empty black Pokeball from her belt and threw it out towards the Gengar.
Disappearing in a bright white light, the Gengar gave up.
Walking down the stone stairways, out of Pokemon Tower into the streets of Violet Town, Charon found Karen in the local liquor store. Walking out with a couple bottles of wine and a pack of beer, Karen followed Charon to another large fiery gash in the ground that led to Hell.
On their way down, Charon explained the basics on Pokemon battling to Karen.
- - - - -
On Mt. Moon…
A large gathering of smiling Clefairy were all holding hands while singing and dancing happily with no cares in the world. In the center of the dance was a large cackling Clefable dancing with a Parasect the size of a sedan.
All the Clefairy laughed in the moonlight. It was a very beautiful and wonderful scene that would make children's dreams come true and poets write simple nothings that spoke of finding love in the simple things. Either that; it would inspire hippies in the heat of an acid trip.
Of course, this was all ruined when a fiery gash from Hell opened up in the side of the mountain and two dark Master Balls vacuumed the Clefable and Parasect in captivity.
As the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.
- - - - -
Somewhere in Oz…
A young girl from Kansas skipped down a yellow bricked road with her new found friend. A magical Scarecrow that could sing and dance. The duo were on their way to the famed capital of the Kingdom of Oz, The Emerald City. Which wasn't completely Emerald at all. But nobody really cared if more than half of the city was in fact Jade and Wheat Crackers.
The duo had recently come across a rusted Tin Woodman who had gotten caught in the rain. Oiling the immobile tin can to move once more, the Scarecrow and Dorothy found themselves being bombarded by the rambling, and unsurprisingly singing and dancing, putz.
"Oh Dorothy," the Tin Woodman babbled. "Oh how I wish I had a heart! I could love things endlessly and--"
Suddenly a fiery gash in the yellow brick road opened up and sucked the Tin Woodman in with a bright white light.
Dorothy and the Scarecrow had never been so scared in their lives…
And as the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.
- - - - -
On an elementary school stage, in the middle of a quiet American neighborhood…
A group of children stood on the stage reinacting a Christmas pageant.
The night had been a little rough as Snoopy, a white beagle with a black spot on his back danced on a boy named Schroeder's toy piano. Schroeder was playing a classic Vince Gauraldi jazz number which all the kids on stage had fun listening and dancing to.
Quieting down his friends on stage, a boy named Linus began explaining the meaning of Christmas to the slightly misguided group of friends.
And at the end of connecting friends to family; love and honesty; the children became quiet as Linus recited Luke, chapter 2.
There was a hush among the kids, and not a creature was stirring, not even a--…
Until a gash from Hell broke open and sucked Linus into a Pokeball.
All the children freaked out and screamed.
The only thing left on the stage where Linus had been standing was his security blanket.
And as the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.