What a Shame We All Became

"The war damages have to be mended, especially before onset of winter on the northern hemisphere. Not to mention the coping response we have to provide in our communities. The first war between Minbari since thousand years. Since not even one cycle it is over." Without my insane decision to annul the Grey Council it would have never come to that, would this healing not be necessary in the first place. Sure, back then we had to act swiftly against the Shadows, yet there should have been another way. How megalomaniac of me to believe I could simply overthrow my own government just because it refused what I planned.

"And at the same time we have to adapt to the opening of our world. That is incredibly much at the same time, and should have priority. Only after this we can deal with the reassignment of our foreign politic.", Satai Katz, former quantum physicist, added for consideration,. I admired the always pragmatic way her thinking worked, ever causal and one detail after the other, without leaps. Now anyway it impeded me at reaching my goals. I stood in the circle of the Grey Council, and had brought forth my question after new ships of the White Star Class. After some explanations of the priority of the case they had been approved, yet had started an far reaching discussion about our duties beyond our territory and inside the Interstellar Alliance.

Scratches adorned my face, remnants of the Drakh-assault against the White Star in which Lennier and I had wanted to travel to Minbar. My gracefull appearance did probably suffer from that, yet I tried to not let show anything. How we had already made peace with dying. Had simply sat together and waited. I had been so relieved that I at least had resolved the issues between us. And then the strange euphoria and yet vulnerability that overcomes one if one actually does survive and only almost died.

I thought at Londo. How strangely deep his fate affected me. We had never truly been friends, yes, most time I had actually perceived him as both politically and civil bothering, yet in a certain way his fate was so similar to mine. A single wrong decision, and two worlds had been thrown into war. And his soul was lost, even as he tried to make up what just couldn't been made up for. Now he had got what he deserved, opposite to me. He had advocated so much for the alliance, had even become close friends with G'Kar – and now this hundred eighteenth degree turn. Vaguely I was aware that there was something odd going on, but the alliance was still too fragile to deal with it. It would have been to risky. And so I couldn't do anything beside leave him with his fate. I pushed the thought away.

"To undergo these other changes has no urgency, only the enlargement of the fleet. I thank you for your approval.", I bowed slightly, then I left the circle of the Grey Council.

Lennier waited before the hall, the splinted leg stretched out in front of him. As he saw me, he smiled and stood up clumsily.

"The good thing about this is that I can't report for duty with a broken leg. I am free for the next weeks."

What we would use to visit our clans. There would have been more pleasant ways to spent ones vacation.

As we reached the Tenth Fane of Eleya, Callenn already waited for us, surrounded by priests and priestesses just like the last time.

"Delenn of Mir.", he said with dismissive and at the same time grossly patronizing voice.

"Callenn.", I responded and bowed, and hid pretermid my anger about the clan right hindering me from implementing harder measures in contact with him.

Lennier stood beside me and looked around slightly unsettled.

"You are here because of your… bond", now slight tentativeness flashed up in his voice.

"Yes."

"With a Minbari."

Lennier stared at the floor, teetered back and forth on his tiptoes once and fiddled around at his own fingers. But then he raised his eyes and did not let up on Callenn for a single moment, and was the confident Anla'Shok once again.

"Yes."

The corner of Callenns mouth twitched, his gaze flinched to his entourage shortly. I recognized distinctly how he only fully realized now what he had started with his remark the dreaming could show me truths I wasn't even aware of myself back then. He seemed to regret it. I could see distinctly how he searched for words to prevent what he had wrought himself.

How strange that I of all people now caused dissonance. I, who had already know her whole life that she was capable of loving non-Minbari, and who had lied to herself about that half of it. I had been aware of what controversies such an relationship would cause, but that I would ever be the alien myself…

"I know that you only explored scrupulously what the dreaming showed you and now follow the voice of your heart.", spoke Callenn with his grossly patronizing voice, "yet trough your transformation this is once again so much more than just a private love."

How could he believe I hadn't been aware of this before his lecture already?

Well, I had only realized it recently and I had rather suspected that the markedly conservative Third Fane of Chu'Domo would have had concerns because of that, not my own clan, but still.

"As I started a relationship with an human, my clan sent me into the dreaming because this was such an unusual wish.", I started my defense, "please note too because they saw me as a Minbari, as the first who officially started a relationship with an alien. But now I count as the alien myself from one moment to the other?"

Callens face twitched. He made an calming movement with his hand, yet I ignored him.

"How could my status change that much? Back then, I had undergone the transformation already, after that there would have been an justification for a change, but not suddenly now! There is no foundation existing for that. Either my clan sees me as a Minbari or as an alien, but not either the one or the other according to how it fits into its plans. If I was regared as a Minbari back then, I still do now, and according to this this here only deals with a relationship between two Minbari. Lennier never did anything dishonorable, in all those years served our people more faithful than most people. I do not understand how you can still have any doubts under this circumstances!"

Callenn seemed to realize that he had lost, yet he seemed as if he would want to speak against it one last time.

No matter how Callenn decided, he didn't had the power to hinder me at anything. I was minister of defense and vice president of the Interstellar Alliance and unofficial leader of the Minbari, I stood above him. But I would only confront him with this if he didn't let me any other choice.

Callen breathed in deeply, then he announced: ,,Your clan allows you your relationship to Lennier of the Third Fane of Chu'Domo."

Lennier relaxed as if he would have truly believed I would simply give up at an decision against us. We bowed before Callenn and left the room. I wished, yet did not believe it for a blink of the eye, our audience at Lenniers own clan would respect us just as easily.