Chapter II

Almost two months after returning from Georgia, Grace was still having difficulty sleeping because of her nightmares about Spencer dying. It didn't help that Spencer was busy with work and not able to spend most nights with her. The few nights he came to the apartment he was distant and not interested in talking about what happened, even though Grace tried to talk to him. Grace didn't want to push him, but she needed to talk and he was the only person who would truly understand what she was going through. Grace heard her phone beeping in the living room and walked to where it was sitting to pick it up.

SR: I'm not going to make it over tonight. We're leaving for Cincinnati. We've got a case. I'll call when I can.

AG: Ok. I'll see you when you get back. Stay safe. I love you.

Grace thought he'd reply again, but after an hour no other messages came through. She was frustrated by the situation. She wasn't sleeping well and she wasn't eating like she should. The stress of the situation was beginning to gnaw at her.

Around midnight Grace gave up waiting for Spencer to call and let her know they arrived safely. After they started dating he made a point of always calling her when they landed to let her know when they arrived. This was just another in a succession of things Grace missed Spencer doing. Before Georgia any night they spent apart he would call her around bed time and talk to her until they were both in bed and ready to go to sleep. Out of all the nights he hadn't been at her apartment he'd only called twice. Sighing, she changed into her pajamas, turned out the light, and crawled into bed hoping she would be able to sleep without the nightmares coming.

Spencer followed the rest of the team across the tarmak to the BAU jet and boarded it for the 3 hour flight to Cincinnati. Taking a seat as far as possible from the rest of the team Spencer shut his phone off and went to sleep. He kenw Grace would most likely try texting or calling him and he didn't want to be bothered by her right now.

Morgan and Hotch both noticed Spencer's actions and wondered what was going on. It was highly unusual for him to turn his phone off especially when they were on the road. Grace always called or texted him when the team traveled. The calling and texting started when they were just friends the summer before and after the Christmas party when they started dating it began again. But lately, ever since Georgia, Spencer would avoid answering the phone when Grace would call and he was slow to respond to her texts. Everyone knew when it was Grace calling and texting because she and Garcia changed the ringtone for both to the song Grace sang at the karokee night back in August. Spencer had, so far, been unable to change them back, much to his annoyance.

Morgan glanced at Hotch who shrugged at Spencer's actions before turning back to the case file in front of him. Hotch didn't seem overly concerned about Reid's odd behavior, but something was niggling at the back of Morgan's mind. Garcia said that Grace hadn't indicated there was anything wrong bewteen the pair. Though, Morgan supposed both of them were maybe still dealing with the trauma of what happened in Georgia almost two months ago. Reid just not seemed himself, but that was to be somewhat expected. Deciding to let the matter slide for now, Morgan flipped on his music to relax for the duration of the flight to Cincinnati.

The following morning Grace was vacuuming when the vacuum sucked up something small but large enough to get trapped in the vaccum. Turning off the vaccuum Grace pried out a small glass bottle, being careful not to break it. She rolled it over until she could see what it contained. Her breath caught in her throat when she realzied what it was she held. DILADIUD. Grace sat down on her bed with a hard thump. So this is why Spencer's been so distant lately. The small vile exlained a lot of things, but it angered her as well that he felt he needed to turn to drugs to deal with what happened. Grace wasn't sure what she should do about what she found. She knew that if Aaron found out Spencer would be in huge trouble, but he obviously needed help. The thought of confronting Spencer about the vial wasn't very appealing either. She knew he had to stop before anyone else realized what he had been doing the last two months. Standing up Grace took the bottle and put in the back of her vanity drawer in the bathroom. She was going to have to think long and hard on what actions she should take regarding her discovery.

A week later

***Music playing***

Grace heard her phone ringing and raced to grab it before it stopped. Hitting the answer button she didn't even look to see who was calling.

"Hello, Spencer?"

"Sorry to disappoint Gracie. It's just Garcia."

"It's not a disappointment at all Garcia. It's a nice surprise. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I wanted to see if you could come out to dinner on Saturday night."

"I'd love too, but I have the last major component of my senior paper due next week. I'm going to need to really work on it this weekend. I've been a little distracted lately and haven't worked on it as much as I should." Grace told her.

"Oh ok, maybe another time then. Grace is everything ok?"

"Sure, why wouldn't it be?"

"Because its 6:00 on a Friday night, you answered expecting me to be Reid, and yet Reid is here still and showing no signs of leaving anytime soon. You are obviously still at home and not headed to his place. So what gives? Are you two ok?"

"What? Spencer's at the office? When did the team get home?" Grace was confused and upset because she hadn't heard from Spencer since he left for Cincinnati a week before.

"Oh! Did I just get the junior G-man in trouble? I take it he hasn't called to tell you he was home?"

"I haven't heard from him in a week. I just assumed this was a particularly complicated case and he couldn't call. Listen, I've got to go Garcia, I, I can't talk right now. Bye!" Grace hung up the phone before she started sobbing. She made all the excuses she could to herself as to why Spencer didn't call or respond to her texts, but that's all they were, excuses. Picking the phone back up she dialed Spencer's number hoping he would pick up. She knew now she had to confront him about what she'd found the weekend before. Of course if he kept avoiding her it would make the confrontation that much harder.

Hi you've reached Dr. Spencer Reid. I'm unable to come to the phone right. . .

Grace hung up before the message finished playing. She was so tired of hearing his stupid voicemail message. Angry and frustrated, she flipped the TV on looking for something to take her mind off her boyfriend. Grace was hurt, after everything, he would push her away at time when they needed each other most and turn to drugs in order to cope. She flipped most of the lights in the apartment off before settling down on the couch. She found that week even though she didn't sleep well, she slept better on the couch. After a while Grace fell into a restless sleep with the t.v. on.

Several hours later she woke, realized the t.v. was off, and there was someone else in the room with her. Waiting for her eyes to adjust, Grace realized the person sitting in the arm chair was Spencer. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night Dr. Reid?" Grace knew her tone of voice was harsh, but she was angry and didn't care if he knew it.

"Garcia seemed to think I needed to come see you," was the curt reply.

"If that's the only reason you're here, then you might as well leave." Standing, she moved towards her bedroom.

Catching her hand as she passed him, Spencer said, "Grace, Stop."

"Why, you've made it clear you have nothing to say to me and don't want to be around me." Grace was determined not to let him know how hurt she was by the way he was acting.

"Garcia berated me until I agreed to come see you. What have you been telling her? She seemed to think there was something wrong with you." He sounded angry and not at all concerned there might actually be a problem. Realizing Spencer was unconcerned with her well-being hurt. It was so unlike him. From the earliest days of their friendship he had always shown care and concern for her well-being, but lately she felt as though she no longer mattered to him. Grace hoped that it was the drugs that were causing him to act differently, but she wasn't sure.

Spencer was holding Grace's hand still and seemed not to notice he had fallen in to his habit of rubbing it with his thumb. He stood while doing this and was looking down at her waiting for her response to his questions.

"As you can see for yourself I'm perfectly fine and for the record I haven't told Garcia anything. I've not talked to anyone else on the team either, including my brother. Even if I had it wouldn't be any of your business. Since you obviously don't want to be here you might as well go. Please, let go of me, so I can go to bed." Grace took her hand out of Spencer's grasp and moved towards her bedroom again.

"You haven't slept in your bed for at least the last week, Anna Grace. You've been sleeping on the couch, I assume because you are having nightmares and you think if you don't fully fall asleep they won't come."

Grace stopped at the door to her room aggravated he could read her so well. "Even if that were true,there is no way you could know that."

"Anna Grace." Grace knew Spencer had moved to stand behind her with his hands lightly resting on her shoulders. She desperately wanted to lean back into him and feel his arms around her and hear him say he was sorry and that everything was ok, but she refused to turn and face him or respond in anyway.

Beep Beep

Looking at the message Spencer swore under his breath.

PG: Did you take my advice Reid?

SR: Not now Garcia. Kinda busy.

PG: Fine, but you better fix this.

SR: Stay out of it Garcia

PG: Better me than Hotch being involved. And you know if you don't fix it he will find out!

SR: Good night Garcia.

Spencer turned the phone off to prevent further interruptions from Garcia or anyone else.

Grace turned just enough to watch Spencer typing furiously. "Everything ok?"

"WHY does everyone keep asking me that?!" Spencer shouted at her. Grace shrank back from him as he yelled at her. Spencer had never yelled at her in such a manner during the almost year of knowing each other.

"I meant the text messages, but maybe people are asking because you've been out of sorts and not yourself since Georgia. Everyone's concerned about you."

"Out of sorts?! Grace I was taken hostage, beaten, and died. And you have the audacity to tell me I'm out of sorts!"

"You think I don't know all of that, Spencer Alexander Reid! I witnessed most of it. The team witnessed all of it. They keep asking because they care about you and are trying to be there for you, but you are making it damn near impossible for everyone, including me. I was terrified we wouldn't find you in time. God, Spencer, you aren't the only one affected by what happened in Georgia! What I'm going through obviously doesn't matter. You've hardly talked to me in the last two months. Then you turn up in my living room tonight like nothing's wrong after ignoring my calls and texts for over a week. You won't talk to me, but I'm not supposed to talk to anyone else. What am I supposed to do? I'm not sleeping and when I do sleep I have nightmares about you dying. I just . . . I need you Spencer." Grace turned away from Spencer again before continuing quietly, "There's more going on than what happened in Georgia, Spencer. I know about the drugs. And don't try to lie to me, I know you well enough to know when you are lying to me even if I'm not a profiler." Hot, angry tears were streaming down her face. All the anger, fear, and frustration she felt the last few weeks were spilling out.

Spencer had never seen Grace so angry. He was stunned, she had yelled at him. He was also shocked that she knew about the drugs. He had been staying away in an effort to keep her from learning what he was doing. Before he could stop himself, he snapped back at her, "Are you done yelling? Or would you like to have another go at me?" He asked coldly.

Turning back to him Grace spoke in a quiet voice, "Spencer, please. I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. I can't talk to anyone else and you haven't been here. I've just kept everything all bottled up. I really didn't mean to yell. What I'm trying to say is I need you and you need me. Talk to me please. I love you and want to help you. How long have you been taking the diladiud?"

"Anna Grace I'm not going to discuss this with you. I just need space right now and I don't need everyone constantly acting like I'm going to fall apart. I don't have time to be here to take care of you."

"Spencer, please. You could ruin your career if you keep taking the drugs. We need to talk about it and get you help if you need it. And I'm not asking you to take care of me. I'm asking you to not push me away. I'm a grown woman I can take care of myself."

Choosing to ignore her attempts at discussing his drug problem Spencer spat back at her, "Every time I turned around over the summer you seemed to need taking care or rescuing from some mess you'd gotten yourself into." As soon as the words were out of his mouth Spencer knew he'd made a huge mistake and taken things too far. Grace's face and demeanor changed instantly. She had been staring him down in an almost defensive manner. Her façade fell apart with his nasty comment. Before he could say or do anything, Grace stepped back just enough to slam the bedroom door in his face.

"Anna Grace, open the door. Grace, let me in so we can talk."

"I think you've said enough for one night Dr. Reid. I'm obviously still too much of a child for a genius like yourself. I don't know why you bothered dating me if I'm such a burden. Just leave me alone."

"Maybe you are!" He yelled at her through the door before turning on his heel and heading for the door. He hadn't come here with the intention of picking a fight with her, but she seemed hell bent on having it out with him not only over the way he'd been acting, but about the drugs. How the hell had she found out about that anyway? As he stormed towards the door he was running over in his mind how Anna Grace could have possibly learned that he was taking diladiud. His next thought was had she told anyone what she learned? He gathered that Anna Grace hadn't told anyone because she said it could ruin his career. Wrenching the door open Spencer walked out before slamming it shut behind him. He knew he would have to talk to Anna Grace eventually about her accusations, but not tonight. They were both angry and nothing good would come from their conversation at this point. Hell nothing good had occurred already. He would be doing good if she didn't break up with him.

Spencer's footsteps faded and Grace heard the front door slam. Moving to the door of her bedroom, she opened it with the intention of locking the front door and putting the chain on this time to prevent Spencer from being able to come back in without her letting him in. After locking and bolting the door Grace lay back down on the couch because whether she liked it or not Spencer had been correct about her sleeping on the couch and the reason for it. Sighing she closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

Beep Beep

Groaning Grace reached over and grabbed her phone from the table beside the couch.

SR: We need to talk.

AG: I'm not in the mood to talk and I think you pretty much covered your feelings for me when you were night Dr. Reid.

Sighing Spencer knew from her use of his title and last name she was at best annoyed with him and at worst angry. Most likely though she was annoyed and angry, not a good combination in a Hotchner. Especially a female Hotchner.

SR: I was out of line earlier. I don't want to talk tonight when we are both still angry. Can we have breakfast tomorrow? I'll pick you up at 8?

AG: No. I've got to work on my senior paper tomorrow. The discussion we need to have could take hours and it will only distract me. Sunday would be better.

SR: Sunday 8am. Our favorite diner?

AG: Fine.

Spencer waited expecting Anna Grace to sign off as she normal did with I love you.

After several minutes of no further response Spencer typed, I love you sweet girl.

Grace saw his last message and chose to ignore it. She was hurt and she wasn't in the mood to forgive him just yet. Rolling over Grace slowly drifted off to sleep.

Spencer knew when Anna Grace didn't respond that he was in serious trouble.

Sunday morning Grace dressed in a pair of blue jeans, her favorite sweater and boots. She pulled on her coat for the short walk to the metro station to ride down to the diner she and Spencer liked to have breakfast at on the weekends.

Entering the diner Grace waved to their favorite waitress Dawn before heading to the table they sat at usually. She was about fifteen minutes early so she enjoyed a cup of hot coco while waiting. 8:00 came and went with no sign of Spencer. By 8:30 Grace was torn between anger at being stood up and worry that something horrible had happened. When she called his phone it went straight to voicemail which only worried her more. She knew she couldn't call anyone on the team to find out if they were out of town because the last thing she wanted to do was tip them off that there was an issue with Spencer. Grace ordered breakfast around 9:00 and then left the diner before Dawn realized there was something wrong. She opted to walk the few miles home to give herself time to think and clear her head.

Beep beep.

"There better be a really good reason for this early morning wake up call." Spencer grumbled into the phone.

"Isn't there always a good reason boy wonder?"

"Garcia, do you know what time it is?"

"Yes its 5:00 a.m. and you need to be at the office in the next hour. We've caught a case and. . . "

"Alright I'll be there." Spencer hung up before Garcia could get any more bubbly than she already was. How was she that perky at this hour on a Sunday!?

Swinging his legs out of bed Spencer stood and headed for the bathroom for a quick shower. He knew he would have to hurry if he wanted to be on time. He never once thought about his date later that morning with Anna Grace.

Several Days later on the Plane home from Houston, Texas

Spencer settled into a seat in a row by himself for the trip home. The case hadn't been a particular difficult one for Spencer to deal with, but the constant noise nearly drove him over the edge. He knew the team was starting to realize there was something going on. Emily confronted him as they left the homeless shelter together.

"What the hell was that in there? What he may even be in this room as we speak? We have nothing to support that."

"We're investigating a serial homicide. Is it right to pretend there is no danger?"

"We just left that woman potentially afraid of every man who walks into the shelter again."

"Until we find the unsub how is that a bad thing?"

"What is the matter with you?" Emily ask, concern evident in her voice.

"What do you mean, what's the matter with me?"

"I have never seen you act like this."

"Oh, really? Oh, in the months that you've known me you've never seen me act this way? Hey, no offense, Emily, but you don't really know what you're talking about, do you?"

Spencer was worried. If Prentiss, who didn't know him as well as Hotch, Gideon, JJ, and Morgan did, recognized that there was an issue, then how long was it going to take the others to figure out his problem? Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he reached into his bag to get his book when his hand brushed against a stack of envelopes.

Oh crap! Sunday! Breakfast! Anna Grace is going to murder me. God could this week get any worse.

Spencer leaned his head back against the seat and wracked his brain as to how to explain to his already angry girlfriend why he forgot they were supposed to have breakfast. Not to mention that he failed to call or text her for the last 3 days. He knew it was a bad sign that Anna Grace hadn't tried calling or texting either. Grabbing his bag Spencer headed to the bathroom to take a hit of the diladiud to take the edge off and help him relax. Maybe then he could decide how to get himself out of the mess he was in.