Chapter 1

It was a particularly warm day in Winterfell. Robb awoke feeling rather comfortable, not even needing his fur coat as he headed down to breakfast. It certainly felt much nicer than last night, which for him had been a very cold and lonely night indeed. Usually he could go about his daily business without feeling too torn about his true feelings, but almost every night held the same emptiness and heart ache, to the point where the pain was as normal as breathing. Maybe one day it would fade into nothing, he thought. Maybe his feelings would finally disappear. But that would not happen for quite some time.

Robb found Bran sitting with little Rickon for breakfast. He was trying to help Rickon learn table etiquette, though it was clear he didn't much care for manners himself. Once Robb came into view, Bran's face lit up. "So we are going riding today, brother?"

"As long as you're still up for it, of course," Robb smiled back as he sat himself down next to his brother. Rickon was getting impatient with his porridge and didn't understand why he had to pretend to be polite while eating, so instead he picked up the bowl and brought it to his mouth as if to drink.

"Honestly, Rickon, have you not learned a thing?" Bran huffed, trying to sound like he was truly irritated. The bluff failed, and he and Robb shared a small chuckle as Rickon made a mess with his breakfast.

"The little lord will learn one day," said Robb as he picked an apple that looked sufficient enough for his breakfast.

Once he and his brothers were finished eating, they sent Rickon off to their mother and went on down to the stables to ready their horses. Although there was still snow on the ground, as always, the sun brought a delightful warmth with it as it rose higher into the sky. The folk of Winterfell moved along with their days without their fur coats, and livestock grazed happily in the sunlight. Robb shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, enjoying everything he could about the day. His small moment was disrupted, however, when he heard Bran. "When will I get to sword fight, Robb? I want to join them."

Robb opened his eyes and looked around them to find Theon and Jon practicing while Arya watched excitedly. He watched as Jon skillfully avoided Theon's attacks, and responded with clever swings of his sword. A sweat was starting to form on his forehead, and he was wearing much fewer layers than normal. Robb wanted to go over there with them and take Theon's place, so much so that it physically hurt him to just stand there and watch.

"Robb?"

He snapped out of it and looked down at Bran, who had a curious expression on his face. He hadn't even realized how long he had been starring, or how intensely. "Come on," he said, and he moved forward to the stables without even looking at Jon again.

They said nothing as they readied the horses and brought them outside to the gate. Once they had both mounted their horses, Robb headed toward the front gate. He knew Bran wanted to say something about how he had looked earlier, but he didn't quite have his answer ready, so he did his best to avoid eye contact all together. Luckily Bran seemed distracted enough with their surroundings outside Winterfell's walls.

Jon just looked so gorgeous and Robb didn't understand why he couldn't have been there instead of Theon. Jon was his half-brother, not Theon's, but it seemed like he never got any time with Jon while everyone else did. He felt angry, jealous, sad, and confused, yet he just didn't understand why all of these feelings were so intense, let alone why they existed in the first place. He tried to ignore it all as he followed behind Bran, letting him explore as much as allowed on his own. He could still see the front gates of Winterfell in the distance, so they had not gone very far, but part of Robb wished they could just keep going, further and further away from everything and everyone; away from his mother, away from his future of being a Lord, and away from the man he would never have.

"Jon misses you, you know." Robb sharply looked up at his brother who had stopped his horse. Bran was looking at him with concern. "He often asks what you've been up to."

"Does he, now?"

"You should really go see him once in a while."

They didn't say anything after that. Robb didn't really have anything to say anyway, especially since he was so emotionally exhausted. They arrived back to the stables a little after midday, and not much had changed since they left, except for no one was practicing with swords at that point. Bran had asked if he wanted to join him for lunch, and he had declined. Instead, he went to his room to change into more comfortable clothing, and he really wanted to avoid as many people as possible.

What he really wanted to do was go back to sleep, but he knew he couldn't get away with that. His father would surely be expecting him for some counsel business, and it just wasn't like a Lord to be found asleep after midday. A hot bath sounded like the next best thing to do, so he grabbed his change of clothes and headed toward the baths while trying his best to think positively. It really was a wonderful day, after all, and it would be a shame to waste it due to his thoughts. He even passed a few servants on his way and greeted them happily. As he opened the door to the baths, he was almost smiling.

And then he saw Jon.

Of course he saw Jon in the bath – of course. He had been sword fighting with Theon for quite a while in the warm weather, so the next thing on his list was to take a nice bath to get rid of all the sweat and dirt. Although Robb could only see the top half of Jon's body, it was obvious he was naked – how else would he bathe? It's not like Robb never saw him like this. Growing up they often had to share the bath room together, but that was before Robb found himself going insane over Jon, who hadn't even noticed Robb's entrance. Jon's eyes were shut, and his head was tilted backwards as if resting. I could just leave, Robb thought. I could turn around and walk out without it being awkward. But even though he really wanted to do just that, he couldn't bring himself to do it. All he wanted was to be in the bath with Jon. Even just being in his presence was enough.

So Robb shut the door behind him and chose a tub near Jon. A servant immediately went to work filling it with hot water while he undressed himself out of view from Jon, in case he happened to look over. The lighting was poor, which Robb was thankful for, since his face was becoming a lovely shade of pink. He was near Jon, who was naked, and he was also naked. Without making a sound, he lowered himself into the hot water and then waved the servant away. The water felt absolutely wonderful. Robb shut his eyes and submerged himself fully under the surface. All sound disappeared, and suddenly it was as if he were alone. Down here he could easily pretend that no one existed except for himself, and he almost believed it. Once he came back up for air, though, reality would hit him hard. I could stay down here, he thought. Robb Stark had never contemplated suicide, but he figured if he accidentally drowned himself it wouldn't be so bad, although his family would have to deal with it afterwards. He stayed underwater until his chest hurt bad enough that it felt like he really was dying, and then he slowly brought his head above the surface again.

He immediately wished he had just stayed down there, because Jon was staring at him. It would have been more awkward to break the eye contact just to stare at nothing, so Robb acknowledged him with a nod.

"I thought you weren't going to come back up," said Jon.

"Down there for that long, was I?" Robb tried to smile, but it just felt forced. Jon's eyes were smoldering, and it felt like they were working hard to pry information out of him.

"Everything alright, Robb?"

"Sure is, Jon." Even just saying his name made his heart flutter. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes to break the eye contact. It was too much to take, especially after his emotional morning, and he was afraid that Jon would be able to read his mind if he looked into his eyes for much longer.

"Theon's not the fighter that you are. Why don't we practice together anymore?"

"We will again someday."

Robb knew he was cutting the conversation short, but he just couldn't help it. Talking to Jon was difficult, and Robb was never much of a talker himself anyway. It was part of the reason why he hated going to the official meetings. His mind was always full of words, but when it finally came time to speak, he just couldn't bring himself to release the words. But this time he was angry with himself. Too often he looked forward to being able to see Jon, and now that he was finally here and they were alone, he was wasting the time.

Jon gave up with conversation. Without saying anything more, he stood from his bath and stepped onto the floor. Robb made the mistake of opening his eyes. There was Jon, right in front of him, completely naked and wet. Robb's eyes widened as they traced every single detail, and he immediately became hard. His mouth parted as a small gasp escaped, and he couldn't tell if it was audible or not. Jon noticed the hungry eyes staring at him and then quickly looked away and turned red.

Fuck. Robb looked down, pretending he hadn't just been thinking about licking all the water up off Jon's body. They stayed like that for a moment, both entirely red in the face and looking the other way, awkwardly avoiding any recognition that the other was still in the room. It was then that Theon swung the door open.

"Shit, Snow, put some pants on."

Jon snatched his cloths up off the floor and dressed himself, still not looking anywhere in Robb's direction, and then left the room.

Fuck.