Warnings: Angst. I don't normally do angst, it just came out of nowhere! Drabble.
After Effect
The after effect of sex was supposed to be something two people enjoyed. In the movies, the two lovers would simply lay in one another's arms, whispering sweet nothings into eachother's ears, sometimes ending with another roll in the sack. That's how movies portrayed the after effects of sex. Especially when it was a couple's first time.
In reality, sex was something far more intimate than any movie could ever properly portray. You opened yourself up in so many ways, making you vulnerable. It was a scary experience – and Suguru now understood why his parents always gave him those hour long talks about being careful who his first time was with.
Regrettably, Ken was not his first. His first time had actually been incredibly awkward and short, having only lasted for about five minutes. He chose not to think about that too often, though, and had instead focused on his first time with Ken.
To put it bluntly, it was great. Ken showed a side of himself that Suguru had never seen before. When they made love, Suguru felt Ken's possessiveness, his neediness. When Ken kissed him, he kissed him as if he were doing so for the last time. When Ken held him, he held him as if he were never going to let go, ever. When Ken told him he loved him, he did so as if he meant it with every fiber of his being. Granted, neither of them had ever said 'I love you' outside of sex, but whether Ken said it out of passion for the moment or truth, Suguru didn't care. He loved it.
The sex was always the same, and Suguru hadn't minded at all. However, there was something Suguru wasn't too fond of, and it was the after effects, which were also always the same.
After the two made love, Ken would always latch on to Suguru for all it was worth, sometimes squeezing him to the point where it hurt, and cry. Sometimes they were simply sniffles, single tears trailing down his cheeks and on to Suguru's face. Other times, the man flat out sobbed. Suguru didn't know why, and the few times he had brought it up to Ken resulted in a catastrophic argument. Not a regular argument, as the two were prone to having, but full blown, screaming, sore throat causing, raging, arguments. Ken clearly would have rather ended it than talk about it, and Suguru decided to never bring it up again.
Instead, he settled for dealing with these after effects in the only way he knew he could. He allowed Ken to hold him and sob himself to sleep. When they awoke, things would go back to normal. It was a rinse and repeat ritual for the two, and Suguru had the feeling it would stay that way until Ken was ready to talk about it.
"The sex was great," Ken would sometimes say over breakfast.
'Too bad I can't say the same about the after effect,' Suguru would silently reply.