Postpartum difficulties and how to deal with them Jesse's way.
AN: No one asked for this.
Beca Mitchell never thought a day would come where she would legitimately eat her feelings. She was telling herself that she actually needed the food in order to produce more milk for her infant but deep down knew that she was feeding her feelings.
"Hey, honey," Jesse greeted dropping his messenger bag on the kitchen island and rubbed her back before he walked to the fridge and pulled a pitcher to fill the glass he grabbed.
"Hi," she said dipping a marshmallow into the chocolate fondue that was in front of her.
"Evelyn is asleep?" he said noting the quietness in the house.
"Yeah, I just put her to bed," she told him. He placed the pitcher back in the fridge and brought the glass to his lips. "What's for dinner?"
"Order takeout, I didn't make dinner," she told him. "I thought you'd eat out since you've been doing a lot of that," she deadpanned.
He rolled his eyes in response, thinking back at all the times she stayed late at work and he wouldn't see her until the next day because he couldn't stay up and wait. "Are you sure you want to be eating that before bed, Bec?" he nodded at the kitchen island, she shrugged in response. "It's like a gazillion calories."
She looked up to glare at him.
"Besides, diabetes," he added worryingly before meeting her gaze and frowning at her expression. "Or not, I'm just saying... you should probably hit the brakes."
He noticed the change in her eating habits and was worried about her. He had known her for ten years and they had been together long enough to know she wouldn't take his concerns the wrong way but the way she clenched her jaw and got up said otherwise.
"Bec, is everything okay?" he cautiously asked watching her clean up after herself.
"Yeah. Top notch," she deadpanned and turned on her heels. "I'm going to bed."
Jesse drummed his fingers on the glass he was holding then sighed and pulled his phone to order dinner because being the sane man he was he wouldn't go after his clearly pissed off spouse.
He made a stop at their tiny little girl's nursery and watched her peacefully sleep. He stroked her cheek then leaned in and placed a small peck on her head. He was glad that she was finally sleeping through the night but also missed coming home late and finding Evelyn wide-awake and ready to play until she would eventually fall asleep.
"I promise we'd hang out tomorrow, baby girl," he whispered, feeling guilty for spending so much time away from his family.
Stepping inside their bedroom, Jesse began unbuttoning his shirt as walked to the en-suite bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for sleep.
Beca felt him when Jesse laid next to her and heard him sigh.
"Everything isn't top notch," he softly said. "I'm sorry if what I said pissed you off." He rested his weight on his elbow so he was facing her back. "You never get mad over this sort of things." He paused not sure how to proceed. "It's unlike you to take things the wrong way… wanna talk about what's bothering you?" he asked and was met with silence. He placed a hand on her arm and rubbed it.
"I'm fine."
"Is this because I'm studying for a Ph.D.? You know your dad's right. I'm a freelancer, Becs. My career isn't the steadiest and I need to afford a good life for Evy and her future aca-siblings. Getting a Ph.D. and teaching in college would at least mean our kids could get free rides like you did."
She was supportive when he told he wanted to apply for a Doctoral degree and was really happy for him when he got accepted and even went with him on his first day. But ever since he started his second semester around the time of their daughter's birth he began spending a lot of hours in school and not enough time with her and their newborn baby.
"You and you stupid career," she mumbled and rolled over to face him. "Where am I in all this? Money isn't a problem for us." She sat up. "So don't pin your choices on Dad."
"I know it isn't. You work so hard to keep it that way. But it's not fair. I know for a fact that you will always make more money but it doesn't mean you have to be the one to always worry about making enough money. It's too stressful especially now that we've expanded our family."
"Not like Evelyn wasn't planned. We talked about having her and how we're financially stable and could raise a kid," she reminded him and rubbed her face then sighed.
"Just say it, Jesse," she told him.
"Say what?" he wondered in confusion.
"You found someone else and so you're leaving me."
"What?" he exclaimed. "Where did that come from?" He sat up.
"You hardly ever spend any time here anymore." She shrugged. "I can't remember the last time we fucking cuddled." She didn't mean for it nor could she control it but her voice was quivering and she hated it and hated that she couldn't push back the tears.
"No, no, no, no." He held her shoulders. "You got it all wrong. I love you and our little peanut so much and never had the thought of leaving you crossed my mind. I just have more courses this semester is all, Becs. I tried to cut some classes but I couldn't—not without having to study during the summer session."
He cupped her face once he got on his knees then pulled into his embrace when she started sobbing.
"I'm so sorry, honey," he apologized placing a peck on her hair.
"It's just really hard, Jesse. Parenting a baby is so fucking hard," she cried against his chest. "And you barely help anymore." She pushed him away and punched him in the chest. "You fucking promised we'd split shit evenly and you broke that promise," she said behind gritted teeth.
"Why didn't you just mention it? Why did you keep it all to yourself?" he asked, getting a hold of her wrists.
"Well, you come home tired," she said sniffing as she willed herself to stop crying. "So, I just suck it up and do things on my own." She pulled her arms away.
"I remember the last time we cuddled," he told her. "Evelyn was barely a month old and fell asleep while you were nursing her. I came into the room and found you half-asleep and holding her against your chest with her chin on your shoulder waiting for her to burp so you could put her down. You weren't sure if she did at all burp 'cause you actually dozed off. I climbed next to you and took Evelyn from you when you held onto me," he fondly recalled.
"She's three months old now." Beca wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. "We haven't cuddled in two months."
"And, it's my fault," he acknowledged.
"Can't put all the blame on you." She shrugged. "Why would you want to come near me? I'm not exactly appealing anymore… I totally get why you'd go look elsewhere."
"Stop it with the leaving-you-for-someone-else nonsense," he said. "You know I wouldn't do that. I'd never disrespect you like that!" he said, annoyed and offended. "If I no longer want to be with you, which isn't the case at all, I wouldn't go behind your back and cheat on you. I would tell you how I feel and we'd go our separate ways." She was reaching for a Kleenex box and pulling some tissue to blow her nose as he spoke. "You need support and I haven't been proving enough," he figured. "Forgive me?"
"Don't make comments about what I'm eating it bothers me."
"Got it," he nodded.
She was vulnerable and he was an idiot for thinking things wouldn't change once she gave birth. Things were changing. And, he had to pull more effort in order to strength their relationship and not let the changes affect them.
Beca placed the used tissue on the nightstand then laid on the bed. Jesse watched her for a few seconds then got under the duvet, too.
He pulled her to him, rubbing her back as he held her close to his chest. He was fine waking up with a numb arm.
He placed a kiss on her forehead and cracked a smile when she looked up then cupped her cheek and leaned in kissing her. He didn't intend for the kiss to be anything more than a goodnight peck but feeling her tongue he opened his mouth and let her deepen the kiss.
It was passionate and hot enough to turn him on. She was pulling him closer as they kissed and he obliged flipping her so he was on top of her.
They hadn't resumed the intimate part of their relationship because Beca wasn't ready yet and he had to remind himself that it could be just a late night make out session.
"Talk to me, Bec," he mumbled pulling away to catch his breath. "Tell me what you want."
"I want to feel good," she told him. "I need to feel good. But I'm not sure if I want to have sex yet."
"We don't have to have intercourse to make you feel good," he smiled at then leaned in.
"Jesse, it's not happening." She pushed the duvet aside so she could see him better. He looked up from between her legs looking like a freaking puppy.
"I don't get it. What I've been doing usually sets you off." He caressed her thigh.
"Well, it feels really good, Jesse." She shrugged. "It's not your fault I'm not able to get there." She sighed. "Now, c'mere so I'd take care of you."
He hesitated then obliged and felt bad for feeling so damn good while took really good care of him.
Jesse was the first to wake up. He used the bathroom then made his way to Evelyn's nursery hearing her fuss over the baby monitor.
He changed her diaper, the source of her discomfort, then took her with him downstairs hoping to find stored pumped milk because he wanted Beca to wake up on her own for a change.
He found a bottle and sighed a sigh of relief grabbing it to heat it up.
"Here you go, Evy," he said giving her the bottle and praying she wouldn't refuse it because she was still new to it. "You're too hungry to say no to it, huh?" he grinned. "But you're not happy about it, I can tell," he added rubbing his thumb against the small frown on her forehead.
Once she was done, he set the bottle on the kitchen island and held her against his chest while her chin rested on his shoulder and waited for her to burp.
She puked some of the milk he just fed her on his shoulder so he put her in her bouncer chair that Beca left in the living room and pulled his t-shirt over his head.
"Let's make Mama breakfast, shall we?" he said picking the bouncer chair and took her back to the kitchen with him.
"Why isn't Evelyn crying?" Beca asked as she entered the kitchen to find Jesse making pancakes while their daughter sat in her bouncer chair singing a string of vowel sounds.
"Hey, you're up!" Jesse said, tilting his head and smiling broadly at her. "Just in time for breakfast," he told her as he turned off the stove and turned on his heels.
"Wait, she let you feed her from the bottle?" Beca asked spotting the empty bottle on the kitchen island.
"Yeah," he nodded, pulling an orange juice pitcher from the fridge.
"She wouldn't go for it when I try. She starts crying until I feel bad and nurse her," she told him.
"I think she was too hungry to put up a fight. I mean she slept through the whole night without waking up for night feeds," he pointed out watching Beca pick their little one from her chair.
"You're finally getting used to human sleep hours, huh?" Beca said to her three-months-old daughter. "About fucking time," she added before she placed a peck on her cheek.
"Bec, want maple syrup on your pancakes?" Jesse asked.
"Yeah," she nodded slowly tearing her eyes away from Evelyn. "Is it the weekend already?" she was asking as she placed the little girl back in her bouncer chair. Being on a leave, she lost track of what day it was.
"Uh-huh," Jesse affirmed. "It's nice today, wanna go out?" he asked filling two glasses of orange juice and placing them near Beca before he sat down next to her.
"Evelyn could use some sun," he shrugged.
"You take her out. Getting out of the house means having to get ready and I honestly don't feel like brushing my hair," Beca told him pulling the pancakes towards her.
"You know what? You should call the girls and have them over or if you change your mind about brushing your hair go out. I'll keep Evelyn busy and out of your hair for the day."
"I don't want to hang out with the girls."
He frowned. "Why, are you mad at them or something?"
"No, of course not, I just don't want to be near people." She shrugged busing herself with the pancakes. "I'll pump more milk for Evelyn for your day out and sleep some more, I guess," she added as an afterthought.
He was about to call her out on her behavior and how it's not okay to give up her social life then decided not to. He instead decided he'd get her out of the hole she had fallen into and made peace with staying in it—it was all his fault that she was feeling like shit.
"Hey, about last night," she paused to swallow. "I'm sorry for the shit I accused you of. I know you wouldn't cheat… it's just that I have a lot of time to overthink stuff. So yeah, I'm sorry," she apologized while eyeing the plate in front of her.
"I owe you an apology, too, Becs. I'm sorry I haven't been helping around the house. I'm sorry for thinking you'd be okay managing things on your own." He reached for her free hand and held it. "I'm sorry for misinterpreting your silence."
"You already apologized, weirdo," she told him and felt him pull her hand towards him causing her to lean over so he'd kiss her on the cheek.
"Dude, I'm showering," Beca said in annoyance when Jesse flushed the toilet and caused the water to run cold.
"Sorry," he apologized half-heartedly. "I put Evelyn to bed," he informed as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. "Read her a bedtime story," he informed drawing the shower curtain. "She wasn't very interested. But it's good that she hears my voice, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. I'm the one that told you to read her a story," she said pulling her head away from the running shower to look at him. "What do you want?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said getting rid of his sweatpants and boxers. "I thought I'd scrub your back for you," he told her and climbed with her inside the bathtub and drew the shower curtains.
"So, I was thinking earlier," he said as he took the loofah from her hand and took her hand in his as he began scrubbing her arm. "We should totally go on vacation."
"Evelyn is too young, Jess," she told him.
"She's old enough. Just think about it, Bec. We'd go to Hawaii or somewhere in Mexico— anywhere warm and sunny—where I'd work on my tan and you'd bathe in sunscreen only to hide under a parasol. We'll dress Evelyn in clothes that would keep her skin safe from the sun and pair it with a ridiculous wide-brimmed hat," he was grinning as he thought about his baby girl at the beach.
"Where is all the food you keep eating going?" he frowned after getting an eyeful of his wife. She had a ravenous appetite yet she had already lost the baby weight.
"I thought I told you not to make remarks about my eating," she reminded.
"Right." He held her shoulders and turned her around so he could scrub her back.
"You barely have any free time," she noted, glancing over her shoulder.
"Spring break is around the corner." He paused. "Will you consider it?" he asked. She nodded in response. He smiled, leaning so he could kiss her cheek.
"I'm giving you a massage later," he told her. "You need it." He pecked her cheek again.
"Jesse, last night I wasn't feeling well. But I'm okay. You don't have to do any of this," she knowingly said.
"I know you're okay," he nodded. "I just want you to feel good," he explained.
It bugged him that he couldn't get her off. He always took it personally because it scared him to think that he wasn't doing a good enough job in the intimate aspect of their relationship.
Beca caved and agreed they'd go to the Bahamas of all places for his spring break because Jesse was annoyingly persistent and wouldn't drop it. She didn't want to go anywhere but he was behaving like a twelve-year-old over how much he wanted to go on a vacation that she felt like she was his mom not wife.
They were currently based in New York City which made the duration of the flight to the Bahamas relatively short. Evelyn only cried when the plane was taking off and setting down which was understandable because even as an adult it freaked Beca out.
"I'm so excited for Evelyn to swim," Jesse announced.
They waited until the evening and the water was warm enough before Beca let Jesse carry on with his plan. Their baby was old enough, true. But she still couldn't regulate her body temperature well enough so they had to be very careful.
"Don't let her swallow sea water," Beca reminded handing Evelyn over to her dad after placing a hat on her head.
"I know," he smiled at his anxious wife. He totally understood why she was on alert. It was an instinct and she couldn't help it if she tried.
"Aren't you coming?" he asked when Beca didn't get up.
"I don't feel comfortable swimming right now," she uneasily said. "And, I think I saw a paparazzo lurking around."
"Here swim in this," he said grabbing his t-shirt and tossing for her to catch. She had no reason to feel self-cautious over her body because she looked great for a new mom who didn't pull much effort into losing the baby weight.
"Wear it over your swimming suit," he suggested. "'Cause no way you're missing Evelyn's first swim."
She rolled her eyes then took off her dress before she pulled his t-shirt over her head while he looked around for the said paparazzo. He took pleasure in messing with paparazzi mainly 'cause it annoyed Beca and it was always fun to push her buttons. They were following her around because she was a celebrity—despite the fact that he blew people's minds with the critically acclaimed music he had written for a decent amount of movies no one gave two shits about him: photographers wanted shots of his big time record producer/singer wife.
"Does it feel good, Evy?" he was asking as they got further in the warm water. She was waving her arms while looking around them and he took it as a yes.
He bent so she got wet and grinned when she got a hold of his face.
"Don't worry, I won't drop you," he assured her while placing a peck on her cheek.
"She likes it, Bec," Jesse grinned tilting his head to look at Beca who was standing close to him. She was fixating on their baby girl with an equally big grin.
"Hey, Bec, let's mess with her. Swim away," he suggested.
"Okay," Beca agreed.
"Evy, say ba-bye to Mama," Jesse said as he waved at Beca who took a deep breath before she jumped in the water.
Evelyn watched her mother swim away until she could barely see her. Jesse watched her expression change as she began to babble vowels.
"There she is," Jesse exclaimed when Beca came out of the water and was in the deep water. His grin grew wider when Evelyn babbled loudly matching the volume of his voice. Beca swam back to them and was tucking her hair behind her ear as she stood up when Evelyn threw herself at her.
"Miss me already?" Beca asked taking her and grimacing because she was all wet while her daughter was barely wet and worrying she'd cause her daughter to feel cold.
Evelyn was patting her cheek and happily babbling so she figured she was fine.
They played in the water until they felt it began to feel chilly and decided they got out.
"I'll change her into dry clothes," Jesse said to Beca as he followed her gaze and spotted the paparazzo.
"Whatever it is, don't do it," she deadpanned meeting his gaze.
"Relax, I won't do anything crazy," he assured her. "Not when Evy is with us." He had in the past done stuff that made her roll her eyes and sometimes even pissed her off.
For instance, he once got 'Single and ready to mingle.' Printed on a t-shirt that he wore when he went to get breakfast with Emily knowing paparazzi were definitely going to follow her around and made sure to take off his wedding band. Beca woke up the next day to a shit ton of calls from everyone in their life asking if it were true that they broke up.
Another time he got a gigantic fake tattoo on his shoulder of David Hasselhoff that he showed off when they went on a vacation to Hawaii.
When Beca was beginning to gain her stardom status and paparazzi began following her around, he decided to trail behind her instead of walking with her in a way he looked like he was stalking her in all of the pictures—he printed enough pictures he could fit into a scrapbook and gave it to her for Valentine's day.
He once wore Lord of the Rings Frodo's One Ring of Power Pendant that Beca gave him on birthday on his ring finger a couple of years before they got married. Beca got confused when people began tweeting at her asking if she eloped then gave him a piece of her mind after his mother called her over the phone and got tearful telling how happy she was that they finally tied the knot.—Jesse slept on the couch for a while after he did that.
"You better," she scowled at him. He smacked her butt as they walked back to their parasol.
"How did he know we're here?" he wondered. They didn't even tell their friends about the get-away.
"I made the reservation using my name: someone working at the hotel probably told him," Beca shrugged, grabbing a towel to wrap around her body before she weaseled out of the t-shirt.
Jesse grabbed another towel and took a seat, placing it on his lap before he sat Evelyn on it. Beca put the bag she brought to the beach next to him and looked through it for dry clothes for their baby girl.
"Evy is having so much fun," Jesse was saying as he wrapped their daughter in a towel patting her. "I mean look at her," he added while eyeing their blue eyed chubby baby girl.
"Give her some time, she'll find something to cry about soon," Beca sighed as she smiled at the sight of Evelyn holding Jesse's hand with both of her tiny hands.
She made sure to block the view so that the photographer wouldn't get a picture of her kid as her dad changed her clothes because it felt weird to let it happen.
"Jesse, what are you plotting?" Beca asked when Jesse went uncharacteristically quiet as he changed Evelyn into dry cotton clothes.
"Oh, you know, ways to get people calling us over whatever shit I do and gets caught on camera." He shrugged. "It amazes me that it still works."
"Well, one day something will happen and everyone will think it's one of your stupid jokes," Beca deadpanned as she dried her hair with a towel before she wore her dress.
"You love my stupid jokes," he told her and heard her snort. "Even when you initially lose your mind," he added as an afterthought, thinking back at the times she really got mad over the crap he'd pull.
They gathered their belongings and began making their way back to the hotel.
"Hey, Bec, wait," Jesse said looking over at the sea. "Look, the sun is setting. It's beautiful," he was saying as he stopped walking.
Beca had Evelyn against her chest asleep and was rubbing her back. "Yeah, it really is," she agreed.
Jesse looked around for the paparazzo then walked a few feet away from where he was standing.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"This angle is perfect," Jesse mumbled. "We're taking a sappy picture."
"Um, okay," Beca said slowly.
"He's taking it for us," he nodded towards the paparazzo. "Now, c'mere, we'll find it later online."
Beca sighed and walked up to him.
Jesse placed her bag that he was carrying on the sand so he could wrap his arms around her waist then leaned in kissing her.
"Happy?" she mumbled, pulling away.
He nodded and pecked her lips before he hugged her and placed a forceful kiss on her temple. "I really love you, Bec."
"I love you, too, weirdo," she said back while rubbing his back with her free hand. "Cmon, he got his shots. Evelyn will wake up hungry and I'd rather be in our hotel room by then away from the lenses of a photographer."
"I still think we should put her between us," Beca said while biting her fingernails as she watched Jesse put Evelyn in her bouncer chair.
"Beca, she's fed, bathed, and exhausted from playing in the sea. She won't wake up at night. And even if she does we're not deaf, we'll hear her," he assured her as he straightened up and reached for the light switch flipping it off, leaving the nightstand lamp as their source of light along with the bathroom.
"You're right," she sighed.
"It's fine that you worry. You're her mom. It's in your nature to feel so protective over our little nugget. Just try to trust my judgment, okay?"
"I trust you," she told him as he wrapped an arm around her. "Do you think she'll grow up to resent us for giving her a really old name?" she asked.
"Nah, old names are popular nowadays, Becs. Besides, someday she'll ask why we named her Evelyn and will know how special the name is to you." He smiled at her. They named her after Beca's grandmother who was the definition of awesome and who also passed away a couple of months before they found out that they were expecting.
"Why are you looking at me like that? What do you want?" she asked.
"I can't casually stare at you without a good reason?" He shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, you look like you're cooking something, so what is it?" When he grinned it clicked in her head.
"Gross. Our three-months-old daughter is sleeping a foot away from us," she pushed him away from her.
"She's asleep and she's a freaking baby." He watched her walk into the en-suite bathroom to brush her teeth.
"I told you I don't want to have sex yet."
"I know. And I'm not asking you to have sex with me. I mean I miss you but I'm fine waiting. It wouldn't feel right if you're not enjoying yourself." He followed her into the bathroom. "I want you to feel good, Becs. An orgasm will make feel great."
"It's not happening, Jess," she said as she brought the toothbrush to her mouth. "I tried on my own a few times, it's just not happening."
"It's because you're stressed as fuck." He ruffled his hair. "It physically pains me that you haven't had an orgasm since we stopped having sex once it became uncomfortable when you were pregnant."
"Jesse, it's out of your hand. Stop taking it so personally," she said after spitting the toothpaste.
"I can't," he shrugged. "I can't stop thinking about what impact sucking at satisfying your needs would have on our relationship." He paused. "The other night you cried because we weren't cuddling anymore. I can only imagine how you feel about our sex life—or in this case lack of sex life."
"I didn't cry over cuddling. I cried 'cause I was feeling like shit. I just happened to be talking about that when I cried." She turned on her heels and got a good look at him. She always thought he looked hot when he's pissed which made fighting with him a little hard since she'd rather be climbing him like a tree instead of arguing and right now wasn't an exception and they weren't even fighting.
She walked past him and grabbed his hand pulling him with her.
"If Evy wakes up, we stop, got it?" she said as she sat him down on the bed. He nodded and was about to speak when she said, "You didn't bring any condoms with you, did you?"
"No, I didn't think we'd need them. We haven't been using them a long time, Bec."
"If we do end up having sex tonight, we gonna need a condom. I'm not taking the pill yet 'cause it can affect my milk supply."
"I'll call and ask reception," Jesse quipped.
"Okay," she nodded and watched him reach for the phone and speak with the receptionist then climbed on his lap and started placing kisses along his jaw then neck.
"Says they'll bring us a few to our room," he announced after hanging up. He rubbed her sides then picked her up and laid her on the bed.
"We really don't have to have sex. All I want tonight is for you to enjoy yourself."
"I know." She leaned up and pecked his lips.
"No pressure here," he smiled at her then leaned pressing his lips against hers and pulling her into a deep kiss.
They took their time with foreplay so that Beca would get in the mood and only focus on what they were doing and how much she missed getting hot and heavy with her nerd.
When he gave her oral the night she had her little meltdown it felt nice. What he was doing right now, despite knowing that it was probably the same stuff he did before, felt heavenly and she actually felt herself building to killer orgasm. When what he was doing with his tongue felt like a lot and she wanted to push his head away she didn't: she missed the feeling she was experiencing and wanted to savor it. When she let go, her eyes rolled back in ecstasy as she prayed she wasn't loud enough to wake their kid up.
She was running a hand through her hair when she felt Jesse place a kiss on her inner thigh.
"Holy fuck, that felt good," she said, lifting her head to look at him. "C'mere." She reached for him. He climbed on top her and kissed her.
She pushed him gently, pulling away to catch her breath. He sat up truly enjoyed the blowjob she gave him.
"So, when exactly are you gonna let me anywhere near your boobs?" Jesse asked wrapping Beca in his arms as he recovered from his orgasm.
"When they stop leaking so much," she answered and held onto his arm, leaning against his chest.
"You could pump." He shrugged and closed his eyes.
"Jesse, they hurt," she sighed. "Now that Evy doesn't wake up for night feeds they hurt even more."
"Sorry. I just miss your boobs." He buried his face in her neck, breathing her in.
"They feel okay right now," she told him. He didn't wait for her to say it before he sneaked a hand to cup her breast.
"Can I?" he said asking for permission to touch her nipple.
"Don't pinch so hard," she said, feeling his finger's gentle touch.
"Duly noted," he said.
Slowly he got her in the mood again and had the time of his life doing it despite the restrictions: He liked a good challenge.
"Jesse?" she moaned.
"Yes?" he answered not stopping what he was currently doing with his fingers to her boobs—the extra sensitivity made his touch feel overwhelming.
She reached for what's between his legs and took it in her hand. "I want you," she told him while stroking his erection.
"Can't be worse than losing my virginity on the pain scale," she added when he said nothing back, feeling his fingers touch her nether regions. "Or giving birth."
"Well, we won't need lube," he announced in surprise. "Wait, did we even bring lube?" he asked. "Should I call reception and ask for lube?"
"Jesse, just wear the condom and let's do this," she impatiently said despite how anxious she was over the whole thing.
He did what she said and was positioning himself in less than a minute.
"Ready?" he checked feeling her wrap her legs around him.
She exhaled then nodded, "yep."
"Okay," he said then proceeded to thrust.
"HOLY FUCK!" she exclaimed.
"Shush," Jesse shushed snapping his head to look at their sleeping daughter.
"Oh, God." She threw her head back.
"Do I keep going?" he asked.
"Yeah," she nodded. "It can't hurt forever. Let's get this over with." She looked back at him.
"Wow, you make sex sound so special," he deadpanned. "You know we're supposed to be connecting… Making love."
"I know you think you're funny and are trying to lighten the mood but just do me a favor and shut the fuck up 'cause you're not helping."
He snickered then pushed a little harder and heard her wince.
"You're such an asshole." She shook her head swallowing the pain. "Why do I put up with you?" she wondered.
"I'm an excellent lover," he answered.
"Don't say lover," she was quick to say then tilted her head hearing their daughter babble something waking up.
"We woke her up," she said when Jesse tilted his head as well.
"You woke her up." He felt a light slap on his chest. "You're the one that shouted." He shrugged and again thrust with force.
"Ow," she exclaimed and slapped his arm quite hard.
"Wait, are we dabbling into BDSM, now, Becs? Is this your way of telling me you're into more than light spanking and wearing cuffs?"
"No," she answered.
"I feel like you are because you hit me I thrust hard and cause you some discomfort that you're exaggerating then hit again… if so, I'm down with that," he shrugged. He was trying to get her mind off the pain so that eventually when they do have more aca-children she wouldn't be as scared of postpartum sex and remember his bad jokes instead of the pain.
"Chris Rock, everybody," Beca deadpanned making him aware that she knew what he was doing.
"Am I hurting you?" he asked because they were still having sex and she was clearly not enjoying it.
"No. It's uncomfortable," she told him with a sigh. "I expected the pain to last longer, to be honest." She looked back their kid. "I hope this discomfort doesn't last long."
"You'll get your groove back soon enough," he confidently said. "And dominate me, Mr. Gray." He winked.
She shook her head and said, "Okay, get out of me before I strangle you with my bare hands."
He nodded and pulled out, leaning to kiss her and grinning when she kissed him back. "I'm gonna go take care of this," he nodded down at his erection before climbing out of the bed.
He grabbed his boxers and made his way to the bathroom while Beca wore back the t-shirt she wore to sleep as well as her panties before she climbed out of bed to pick Evelyn up from her bouncer chair.
When he came back, his daughter was laying on top of his wife.
"Is she asleep?" he whispered.
"She's falling back asleep," Beca whispered as she gently ran her hand over their kid's head.
Jesse climbed next to her and pulled the covers over them then watched Beca gently place Evelyn between them.
Next day, Beca woke up early on her own. Seeing it was still early and that most importantly Evelyn was still asleep, she decided to go back to sleep. Hugging her pillow, she thought back the paparazzo from the day before and figured that she'd go online and see if he did post the pictures.
She googled herself and found the pictures. The quality was decent despite the fact that he was taking them from a distance. She guessed he had good lenses.
The pictures were sweet and for once she didn't really care that they were an invasion of privacy because the precious moments with their grinning baby in the water were captured and Evelyn looked adorable. Jesse's idea of letting the paparazzo take a sappy of them resulted in some pretty cute pictures, too.
Jesse, idea, and paparazzo were in the same sentence and she didn't want to at least roll her eyes... weird!
She took some screen captures then put her phone back on the nightstand, closing her eyes and welcoming sleep again only to hear Evelyn wake up less than five minutes later.