The next morning Kuroo woke up, feeling as if the evening of the day before had been wiped out from his memory completely. He was still lying on his bed and continued to do so for a few more minutes, looking at the white ceiling. He noticed some cracks in the paintwork and hoped his landloard was aware that they've already existed before he moved in. When he had woken up, his hands were slightly sweaty from when they were gripping the pillows. He positioned them every night, one on each side of his head. When Kenma asked him about it once, he told him that it was a ritual he started because when he was younger, their neighbours occasionally played loud music in their backyard, right in front of his room. Nowadays though he enjoyed absolute silence almost all the time, he still liked the comfiness of two pillows next to his head, pressed tight with his hands. But now, wide awake, he slowly retreated them to wipe them on his tank top and fold them right above his navel. Luckily no class today, he thought, and rolled over on his stomach to bury his head into the mattress. Ready to at least get out of bed, Kuroo rolled over again and sat up, head in his hands. The sun was bright enough so light could spread through the tiny window next to his bed. Kuroo looked around in his flat, noticing every little thing.
His flat was not only small, but also practical. While he had some spare room in his kitchen, it was not really detached from his "bedroom" which consisted of a single mattress and a small wooden table next to it. There was no door in between the mattress and the kitchenette, which made eating breakfast as the transition of lying in bed and sitting at the kitchen table a short way of rolling out of bed and crawling towards food.
The kitchen slash living slash bedroom was the only room, except for a cramped closet in the small corridor. Regarding the low rent and the interesting view on silly drunken college students returning home around 2 am, Kuroo was pretty content, although he wouldn't mind a more spacious flat. Spending more money on housing rent on the other hand, Kuroo would mind a lot. It's only a place to sleep and cook, he'd said to Kenma and earned an amused comment about that since he moved out, he acted even more like an old geezer – and nothing like a real college student. But it still didn't make him change his mind: His stuff, books, games, sports gear, were stored at his parent's house for good. When he was moving, he brought four boxes of his stuff with him, conscious of the fact that even one more box would make the tiny flat appear even more tiny. What he brought to his own flat were only his most important possessions: Some volleyball training gear, some pictures of him and Kenma – and his teammates, some games, and some books to keep his mind occupied when he had nothing to do. Most of it was stored in the closet together with his clothes – he felt like eventually he might rearrange his things and overthink where he would store his clothes, since they noticeably increased over a few weeks
Kuroo stretched a bit, finally being able to fully open his eyes, and went to make some breakfast.
He idly stood there, slightly crooked, cooking some miso soup to eat with some rice he'd made the day before. He then sat cross-legged in front of the small table across the stove and slowly ate the food he made. It was light – Kuroo personally felt light breakfast was better than a heavy one, although occasionally he fancied some western breakfast, some pancakes now and then. When he finished breakfast he immediately collected his dishes and put them in the sink. It was the mid of July right now and incredibly hot around day time, so flies would immediately get into the flat if he didn't clean the kitchen.
In the middle of washing the soup pot he had used, he muttered to himself "What the heck". With scrubbing the dishes and getting his hands occupied, there suddenly was some time to relive what happened yesterday. Without further warning his mind was flooded with the memories, Bokuto's hopeful gaze at him and how he asked him to go out with him. Kuroo halted in his movements, feeling the water continuously drizzling from the faucet. "What the heck", he said again, started to move the sponge once more against the inside of the pot and put it next to the sink to dry.
Kuroo pushed some buttons on the small radio, hands still slightly wet, leaving some foam on the power button. The radio was one of the things that were certainly left by the former resident, and Kuroo sometimes wondered if they were forgotten or left on purpose. The air in the kitchen was moist, a good enough reason to roughly open the old and worn out kitchen window. The room was immediately filled with fresh air and noises from the street and Kuroo felt the atmosphere of a lonely single room flat simply vanishing. Putting one arm as a support on the sill, he could watch everything going on in those lively streets. Today was a free day for him, and he had only planned to look around the area and maybe see if there'd be any bulletins here, for part-time jobs. University life right now was without any haste and Kuroo became too adapted to the fact that he had comparably more free time than he had in high school.
He considered meeting with Kenma, although he might have done that a lot lately. Kuroo wondered, if Kenma was ever going to be annoyed because of him, or if Kuroo should come by his house less for Kenma's sake. He knew, Kenma normally did not go out of his own way to meet new people – and like the worried parent-like friend Kuroo was, he also worried that he would get into the way of Kenma finding new friends.
If he'd share his worries with Kenma on the other hand, his best friend probably would roll his eyes. And maybe Kenma could in return tell him some worries. Nice plan.
Kuroo got dressed quickly, slipping into beige pants, a shirt and sweater, before he left the house and got to the subway.
"It's Wednesday morning and you've got nothing to do? University life sure must be something." To be fair, Kenma was right on this one, and still, something about that statement ticked Kuroo off. In order to tease him, he asked: "How about your new nickname will be Ken-man? I think the guys at Nekoma will love it." Kenma side-eyed him without response, which made Kuroo figure that he had now pissed of Kenma, too.
They were sitting outside the house, on the front porch for a change. It was Kenma's idea to get some fresh air, which made Kuroo theatrical shed a tear and voice how his doubts about Kenma never growing up and get into the real world may not come true.
"Lev is coming by later", the blond one told casually, which made Kuroo spit out the juice he just took a sip of. "What", Kenma added, sounding annoyed, "You're not the only one who can change."
That last remark threw him off track. "I never said….", Kuroo started while he stared on the Mintendo Flip Screen that Kenma held in his hand. The character Kenma played ran and ran before he sprung off a cliff – and glided peacefully down to the ground. "It is okay for you to change. It is not the first time you do, either", Kuroo finally got out. Was Kenma annoyed because he could not keep up with his childhood friend? Was it surprising for Kenma, that Kuroo just did not expect for things to happen that fast. "I'm glad", he stated. "It seems like it's going well for you."
Kenma did not answer at first, eyes fixed on the screen so intensely that after a couple of minutes, Kuroo assumed that Kenma forgot he was sitting next to him. Which would be just fine, he added in his mind.
"There was something you wanted to talk about?" Kenma gave him the side eye again. He was prepared for everything else and gulped down the intuitional "NOT AT ALL" that was pressing up against the inside of his mouth. "Kinda", he said after a long pause of silence with the only sound being Kenma's fingers tapping. "Not really", Kuroo added reluctantly. "Sure thing", Kenma answered sarcastically without looking up. An unsaid "If there's anything, you can talk about it to me" hanging in the air.
Talking to anyone about Bokuto asking him out felt wrong in many ways, thought Kuroo. It may not be a secret (really, did anyone know Bokuto swings that way?), but the last thing Kuroo wanted to do was to tell anyone about the possible secret of Bokuto's sexuality. Was he even gay?
That word seemed so unfamiliar and foreign in his head, like almost no one ever talked about it. Like a word of fiction or a word that only existed in that nasty stuff young girls liked to read in manga. Kuroo knew by instinct, that there was a taboo to openly discuss the topic, although he couldn't explain why. The more he thought about it, it became just a word without meaning or any feeling at all. So, Bo's gay, yeah. Why bother? That's totally fine, totally normal for him, he guessed. But the confession…how to answer to that?
Kenma's mother's arrival was hardly noticed Kuroo. She stood in the door frame, leaning to one site, while watching the two boys. "Kenma, another friend comes visiting. Invite them to dinner if you like." Lev appeared from behind, eyes shining and his mouth twitching because of the giddy grin he tried to surpress.
"Kenma-san! And our Captain, too!", the tall half-russian volleyballer let himself fall down like a wet sack of clothing. "What'cha up to?"
"Nothing much, Lev! Nice to see you, bud. But stop calling me Captain…it's embarrassing and not even true anymore."
Kenma side-eyed him, looking at Kuroo trying to hide his grin, then rolling his eyes. "It's pathetic how much you like to be called captain by your ex-teammates." Kuroo did not hesitate: "Yeah, if you say so, Ken-man."
"Wow, is that your new nickname, Kenma-san? Sounds nice!"
Kuroo figured after the piercing glance that Kenma threw him, that he wasn't that welcome anymore. It was late anyways, so he didn't mind going home. "I'm going home, hope you two have fun. Keep me updated about the team Ken-man, you too, Lev." The tall one nodded excitedly and answered cofidently: "Next time I write you, it's about us winning!"
Kuroo gave Kenma a good night hug, waved at Lev and went inside to say goodbye to Kenma's mother as well.
The moment he woke up, he was feeling a sudden calm washing over him and unexpectedly Kuroo was much more relaxed the next day. He would have classes in the afternoon, but he decided to go to the university first-semesters' lab first. During the first week, him and his were told by the upperclassmen that the lab was free for use, and although well equipped through and through only used once in a blue moon. Kuroo couldn't imagine that anyone would waste a great opportunity to play with chemicals and maybe cause an explosion, but had to admit that his own motivation to pay university a visit when he didn't have to was limited as well. So when he went to the lab after class, extremly proud of himself for using his time to check out the lab, he was also met with unexpected disappointed that the lab wasn't completely empty. Only one person stood with their back to him, which arouse the childish impulse in him to sneak up behind that person and give them a good scare. The much more mature part of Kuroo was well-aware of the many risks of sneaking up behind someone who was handling potential toxic chemicals.
Kuroo took a breath and closed the door behind him. The person was still not turning around, so Kuroo figured, he had to introduce himself. "Hey, what's up, I'm Kuroo Tetsurou", he said, closing the last bit of distance to look over her shoulder.
"Hey, whatta hee-!", a girl his age turned around, almost spilling the contents of her test-tube. Even though I was trying to not sneak up and scare her, Kuroo thought to himself. For a girl, she was really tall and the lab coat, presumably the biggest size (adjusted to men's sizing) was hanging loosely around her arms and sides. Her legs were long but lanky, giving Kuroo the feeling that she had a grow spurt sometime during her middle school where nothing but her legs have grown.
"Why you're staring at my legs?" She asked him curiously, also a bit put off. Kuroo looked up, a bit embarrassed and also not sure how he should explain that he was thinking about her lankiness without being too impolite. "Sorry, I...do they not have coats in your size?"
At that remark, everything seemed to be forgotten. She put the test-tube back on the table, rolled up her sleeves and put her chin between her thumb and index finger. "I don't really know, I guess there's some kind of one-size thing going on here. None of the smaller coats will fit right over my knee, and I don't know if that one professor was joking when he came here last week, but he said that I gotta protect my knees... Man, he was probably joking." Awed by her own realization and also seemingly disappointed in the lab supervisors, her mouth crinkled and her gaze dropped, now she was standing there still, delusionally staring at her knees. Nonetheless, she quickly caught herself. Kuroo thought, she was damn weird, but also hilarious. As if she could have read his mind, she looked up to him. "Sorry Kuroo! I'm Han Mika. My mother's Chinese, so that's where that family name's coming from. Are you a freshman?"
"Uhm, yeah. You know, if you're busy here, I can come back any other time. Actually, I didn't really plan to..."
"Ouh, what? You know it get's boring here a lot. I'm about to do some fancy chemical mixing, so why don't you join me?"
Kuroo, feeling kind of overwhelmed with her energy and quirkyness, simply nodded. "But wait, where's the lab's supervisor?"
"He usually takes of when he sees me. I don't know...", she didn't think to long about it, "Whatever, I have a clear liquid here, did you already learn about the propanes?"
Kuroo lost count on how long they were in the lab together, but he eventually called it a day. "I think I'm going home", he told her, mind spinning, although he wasn't sure if it was thanks to her talkative nature, him enjoying making a new friend at Tokyo Tech and therefore talking a whole lot as well, or the acids which they took out of the cupboard and used in some mixtures. Luckily none of their experiments resulted in a major explosion and he had a chance to revise and see what he learned in his lectures.
He walked across the campus to get to the subway station, stomach growling and mind spinning. While he not expected to see anyone at campus around this time, he ran into Yaku who was on his way to the station as well.
They both looked in each other in surprise for a couple of seconds, when Yaku said: "Well if we already met here, why not go grab a bite together?" Although he felt tired and sore, Kuroo couldn't decline the kind of invitation that involved eating food when he felt like starving.
They went to a place near the station, famous for it's numberless ingredients for Shabushabu.
"Honestly, The first weeks I thought I'm going to get lost on my way to class, but now I know about every shop nearby." While Yaku spoke, he had to concentrate not to drop the meat. It was supposed to be dipped (alongside vegetables and tofu) in the cooking pot sitting in between the two students. "Very Impressing, Yaku, you are like a cat that can find his way home", Kuroo dropped his vegetable and had to fish it out again. "Hah, you've dropped it. That's what you get from being so snarky!", Yaku smirked at him and put the piece of meat in his mouth that he successfully managed to get out of the cooking water. "To be honest, Kuroo, I really couldn't like you when we where in school. But now it has changed, I guess."
"Ohoh, how so?", Kuroo inquired, still searching for the piece of vegetable he dropped. "I think under that flirty and self-secure appearance, I realized you're a big idiot and I have nothing to be jealous of."
Kuroo was well aware that Yaku always told his thoughts raw, not sugar coated, but he never appreciated how helpful it was. Maybe, because he already knew Kenma, and Kenma although not always direct, often was honest to the degree that it was painful to listen to him. "Ouch, but thanks. I never would have guessed I'm the flirty type." "You're kidding, right? You are some kind of sunshine beneath the cool hair and your cold face, you attract people like light does to moths. It's creeping me out, seriously." Being harsh or hurt him would never be Yaku's motive, Kuroo figured. He was grinning widely, stuffing food in his mouth and chewing, soon expectedly looking at Kuroo.
"And I hoped people like me for my character only."
They sat around in silence for a while, either of them focused on dipping and eating. 'Now or never', the thought struck through Kuroo's mind.
"You now, there's this guy", Kuroo began, already feeling awkward. He put his chopsticks aside, but having his hands unoccupied resulted into him touching the back of his head and ruffing his hair, making it stand into all directions. Yaku watched him squinting. He had to spill it out quick, or he would not at all. "He confessed. I don't know, why, but he likes me."
It took two seconds for Yaku to react. "Okay, what did you tell him?", he asked in turn, not surprised in the slightest.
"Huh?"
"Did you say yes? Did you say no? I'm asking about your reaction, doofus!", he said energetically and unfazed as ever.
"I can't tell if you're joking, why are you not surprised by this?" He sounded dramatical, since he couldn't believe that Yaku accepted the facts right away. On the other hand, if someone told him that he was in his situation, how would he react different?
"I don't know, but we all figured Kenma would tell you at some point. Guess he's getting impatient."
"What?! It wasn't Kenma!" Kenma asking him out? Kuroo thought it was ridiculous. How could Yaku assume Kenma liked guys?
"Who was it then?", Yaku challenged him. That made the situation worse. Yaku knew Bokuto, so telling him wouldn't be exactly right.
"It was ...I can't tell."
Yaku grinned knowingly. Since he seemed to insist it was Kenma, Kuroo had no other chance but to roll with it. He just hoped Yaku was tactful enough to not say anything misleading to his best friend.
"The thing is, I don't know what to say. He's a good...my best..." (Kuroo had to adjust what he was saying) "Best friend. In the world. How to tell him, that I think it's weird?"
"Maybe not by using the word 'weird'? That's insensitive, kinda. You know, you don't tell someone who's gay that you think it's weird."
"I don't mean in that sense. I don't think it's weird, but I would have never imagined he's interested in me, you know?"
"What's the issue, Kuroo? You're acting like you have the power to destroy someone's life by rejecting them. Gotta be thinking really highly of yourself."
Kuroo gritted his teeth. "Forget it, you're not taking this seriously."
"I am", Yaku said with a laugh, "You're really scared for such a tall guy. He gets over it. I think you have more of a breakdown then he will have."
"I guess." But it took Kuroo at least a week to grasp the truth of Yaku's words.
They parted ways soon after, both exhausted from the topic, Kuroo because he hoped Yaku was more of a helping friend, Yaku because he couldn't see the issue, also because Kuroo was too reluctant to talk about anything in detail. "Reject him, you're not interested, everyone understands that much."
Kuroo lay down that night, letting Yaku's words set in. Why did he mind so much?
Another thought circled in his head, right before he felt asleep. Kenma and him were really close, but still, why lead his first thoughts instantly to Kenma, when he told Yaku someone had confessed to him?
In two days he would meet Bokuto again, so he could talk to him at least, clear things out. Two days seemed a comparably long time for Kuroo to prepare what to say, and although he tried to calm himself, he couldn't help that he got nervous thinking about a good enough explanation to reject his dear friend.