ZAFT of the radiance

Inside Dr. Weird's lab, somewhere in the South Jersey coast. Geno along with the janitor Jose look at Dr. Weird's left behind gold W medallion. Intently staring Geno grabs it and puts in on. Jose Oye, se- Stan Lee: (pausing the action) Hello true believers! Since our audience is composed mainly of Americans and Americans are dumb and lazy. How else would George W. Bush get a second term legally in the first place? We will translate all Spanish commentary into English with my handy Universal-ly lazy translator! So read on, Excalibur! (web swings out of the screen) Jose: Hey, sir, are you sure we should be doing this? The other guy got eaten when he tried that. And got blown up by tacos, for some reason... Geno: I'm made of wood! How is he gonna kill me? Dr. Weird appears behind Geno and breathes fire on him causing an explosion that reduces him to nothing leaving only the medallion.

Chapter 2: Extended neighborhood

Written by Aliasoddity

Its a peaceful day in Beverly Hills, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the Crips and the Bloods are currently out of town in a Harley convention, killing each other. We find Kira Yamato is exiting outside along with Tails doll to get some air. Outside Kira and Tails doll begin singing "Can you feel the sunshine? As it brightens up your day? Can you feel the good times? There's no need to run away! Reach out for the sunshine! Forget about the way! Just think about the good times! And you'll come back again!" Suddenly Tails Doll notices a giant moving van next door taking out packages and stops singing while Kira with his eyes closed continues. Tails doll: Kira! Do you see that? Kira (singing in falsetto) Can you feel it? Tails doll: Kira! Kira! Look! Kira: stops singing and looks at the moving van "Hey! are those new neighbors?" Tails doll: Yeah! wanna look? Kira and Tails doll go to look next door and find Auel Neider talking to the movers discussing payment. Kira: (Extremely perky) Hey neighbor! How are ya? Hey, you're that extended guy! Auel: (turns to look) Kira Yamato? (steps back and pulls out a pistol which he uses to shoot Kira three times in the face. Kira is completely unfazed as the bullets are lodged in his skull) HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU STILL ALIVE? I SHOT YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE THREE TIMES! Kira: (just as perky) How silly! I like you! Wanna come in for cake and punch? Auel: gets a shotgun and shoots Kira again in the head again, Kira is also unfazed after this. He then pulls out an AK-47 emptying a 60 round clip on Kira only to be left unscathed. Finally he pulls out a bazooka and shoots it at Kira he also survives this) WHY WONT YOU DIE? Kira: still perky and smiling goes off saying "OK, cake and punch it is!" and drags Auel off inside while Tails doll follows Auel: weeping and screaming while being dragged "THIS THING IS THE ANTI CHRIST! HE'S LIKE NARAKU FROM INUYASHA!"

Meanwhile Athrun is reading in the rec room calmly and in peace when Sting Oakley shows up looking at Athrun. Sting: Hey, have you seen my roommates around here i saw them come inside and... Is that a book? Athrun: Oh yeah! Oh you're Sting right? How did you get here anyway? And are Auel and Stellar with you? Sting: Yeah, I manged to land a job as a civil suit lawyer and filed a class action lawsuit against LOGOS a while back. They had to pay $500 million in damages to all of the surviving extended. Athrun: Really? (chuckles) Sucks to be them. Sting: So we moved here. Who would have thought we would meet each other like this? Athrun: Anyway, I'll help you look.

Meanwhile, Shinn is picking up some hot dogs from a local stand when Stellar Loussier finds Shinn and tackles him in a hug. Stellar: Shinn-kun! I missed you! Shinn: (surprised) Stellar? You're here? Stellar: Shinn-kun wanna go burn stuff in the name of the fire? Shinn: Well... Flashback to when Shinn was with Lunamaria Hawke outside their burning apartment surrounded by firemen, police and spectators Lunamaria: Dammit Shinn! I had enough! If it isn't stealing, its killing, committing fraud, or committing arson! Shinn: But the fire. (shows an insane look in his face) It commanded me to burn. Lunamaria: That's what you said when you burned that homeless guy! Except that you blamed some fire god or something! Shinn: But the fire... Lunamaria: (enraged) Go away and don't come back until you get it under control. Back in reality. Shinn: Okay Stellar! Lets go burn stuff!

At that time, Athrun and Sting go to the kitchen where they find Kira serving punch to Auel. With a butchers knife sticking out of his back. Sting: Auel i found you and... why does Kira have a knife in his back? And why isn't he dead or something? Athrun: Apparently Kira has a plot shield that makes him indestructible, and is too dumb and peppy to feel pain. Auel: (frustrated) Dammit! Sting: Anyway have you seen Stellar, you know she can't go outside without adult supervision, or she'll start burning stuff. Auel: (fearful) Oh crap... Tails Doll: Dudes, look at the TV! Everyone goes to the TV room to find a news program being shown where a building was shown on fire with firemen, police, emergency workers and witnesses are looking on while Shinn and Stellar are carried off by the police. Ima penis: So much destruction, so much horror. This is the scene at the Beverly hills police headquarters. As two evil youths were found burning down the building. So far there have been no survivors and damages exceed 3 million dollars so far. This vile, evil, fiends are being carted off to a neighboring precinct where they will be held. And what kind of punishment can he expect in this reporters mind, even the death penalty is far too lenient!

Later on in the Los Angeles police department Shinn and Stellar are in prison next to a pile of charred bodies whose stench can be smelled through the building. The door suddenly opens and Kira, Athrun, Sting and Auel, enter along with two cops mainly the Blue Senturion, and police chief Mappy surrounding them. Blue Centurion opens the cell yelling out "OK you two bums! Get out you got pardoned by the governor!

Auel: Why are there charred bodies lying around? Mappy: Apparently they tried to rape the... Auel: Holy crap! They tried to rape Stellar? Mappy No, the boy. So they apparently burned them alive somehow, and now they are dead. Kira: Why didn't you help the prisoners? Blue Centurion We are part of the California police dude, we only get paid to stop criminals not help them. Why do you think the prisons are so overcrowded in California? Shinn: (relieved) Oh you guys! You came! Those guys tried to rape me! (pointing to a corpse at the edge of the cell) That chick over there was Lindsay Lohan! The group is joined by Mihoshi Kuramitsu and Kiyone Makibi carrying some paperwork involving their release Mihoshi: Yeah, well apparently the charges are being dropped thanks to your lawyer, and the fact that you two killed Lindsay Lohan. Apparently the state is considering giving you a medal for that. Blue Centurion: Maybe we should get them to kill Justin Beiber next, heh, heh. Kiyone: "Like hell I'll let you, anyway get the hell out!"

Outside the group is leaving the police station. Shinn: Hey guys how did you get them to pardon us? Flashing back to a point shortly before that at the governors mansion. Tails doll is holding California governor Jerry Brown at knife point Tails doll: OK, bitch! Pardon my friends or I'll eat your soul! Jerry (terrified with soiled pants) Yes,yes! Anything you say master! Just spare me! Tails doll: Damn straight bitch! You shall live to serve me another day! The group breaks out in laughter simultaneously

To be continued...