A/N: Next entry is here! And I guess I need to say this: all these one-shots are their own universe, none related to the other.

First Kiss

Nine months after Rachel moved to New York and six months after moving in with Santana, she had finally had enough.

"All's I'm saying," Santana shrugged, taking a bite of her chow mein and swallowing, "Is what the giant don't know won't hurt him. You see someone who ignites your lady loins, go for it."

"Enough!" Slapping her chopsticks down, Rachel slammed her carton of white rice down next to them. "Santana, that's enough."

Flinching, Santana dropped her own chopsticks into her chow mein and set it down. Working her tongue in her mouth, she gave Rachel a cool stare. "God, what the hell's up your butt?"

Narrowing her eyes, Rachel took a deep breath. "Santana, I am going to ask nicely – as nicely as I can – for you to stop telling me to cheat on Finn. I love him. I'm engaged to him. Do you not see this ring?" She flung her hand up, almost slapping Santana in the face, "And, and even if I'm currently here and Finn's in Lima, I'm going to stay true to him."

"Oh yeah, like he's staying faithful to you," Santana barked. If Rachel hadn't already been staring at her, the sudden twisting of her face into a harsh expression would have made her do so anyway. "How do you know he is, Rachel? Huh? How do you know?"

"How do you know he's not?" As the yell left her mouth, Rachel tried to figure out how it had gotten this far.

She and Santana had formed an unlikely partnership in the second half of their senior year, each girl finding something in each other that they understood. Stubbornness, a drive to succeed, the unfailing knowledge that they were going places, and that they were someone… And that they both knew they were leaving the loves of their lives behind while they set out to prove it.

To do that, Rachel had left for New York a month after graduation, Santana a month later. Though neither girl had seriously talked about moving in with each other, a series of events had ended up forcing the situation. Having been living in an apartment halfway supported by her fathers, Rachel had been forced to move when the whole building had been shut down due to an unfortunate case of toxic mold being found in the air vents. Suddenly homeless and reeling over such short notice to have another homestead set up, Rachel hadn't objected too strenuously when her friend and frequent lunch partner had practically picked her up and dropped her onto her extra futon.

For the first two months, it was definitely a learning experience. Even though both girls were more relaxed and friendly around each other, their growing friendship had taken some hits and dings. Rachel had threatened to move out more than once, and Santana had even egged her on to do it after a horrible day of classes. Luckily, the experience had only made their friendship stronger. Once they'd realized the reality that they would clash – often and passionately – they only had to accept the reality that they were going to make up often and passionately as well.

Like their fight over Rachel's celibacy. Three months after Rachel had moved in, she'd had to weather the storm of Santana and Brittany's incredibly painful hold on their relationship, easier for Santana to break up with the blonde completely than accept an open relationship. Though it wasn't anything specific that prompted the decision (Rachel honestly hoped not, for both girls' sake), it hadn't stopped Santana's paranoia from rising. "If Britts… If Britts cheated on me," Santana slurred one night, hoisting her beer bottle up at Rachel as she passed by on her way to grab her a glass of water, "Then being celibate's over-overrated. I tried that, you know? With Britts. First relationship I tried. First…" The girl started crying, big tears running down her cheeks, "First person I loved. So… Not gonna try that again." She dropped the now empty bottle of beer and practically slid onto Rachel's lap when she sat down next to her, bawling into her shoulder, "You… You have to agree with me. You have to."

"Why?" Rachel whispered, rubbing her back, "Why do I have to agree with you?"

Santana sniffled, arms tightening around Rachel's neck, "Because I… I don't want to… I don't want to be alone anymore."

After that night, two months of revolving one night stands happened, Santana often pestering Rachel to go to parties with her, to be her wingman. It wasn't unusual for the taller girl to be absent days in a row, or Rachel to wake up in the morning to find scantily clad exceedingly gorgeous woman hanging all over Santana in the kitchen.

Though Rachel didn't condone her actions, as long as Santana was safe and attending all of her classes, then she knew Santana was an adult and could take care of herself. Still, Santana's overtly sexual conduct eased the night Santana came home to find Rachel in her face, shoving a bag of pills at her. Demanding to know if she was a druggie or not so she knew if she should find a new place to live, Rachel had watched a look of shock cross over Santana's face. She reached forward to take the bag, then immediately turned on her heel to flush the contents down the toilet. "I'm done," she told Rachel, wrapping her arms around her waist when she was finished, cracking a smile, "Though, you know, it's your fault if whoever those belonged to comes back looking for 'em."

That wasn't to say Santana didn't date, because she did. She just seemed to concentrate on Rachel and her lack of sex more. Rachel hadn't known what to think about it, to be honest, not knowing if it was just the other girl's way to cope with finally dealing with her issues.

At first, it'd been easy to brush off (especially when she'd initially thought it was just a rude joke), but now it was like whichever boy Rachel smiled at, or talked to, Santana was leaning in behind her, whispering for her to just go for it. No matter how many fake smiles or rebuffs Rachel sent her way, Santana wouldn't listen to her. Having kept her tongue for the most part because she knew Santana was still hurting over Brittany and it was probably some strange kind of coping mechanism, Rachel finally couldn't take it anymore.

Hence her overly dramatic outburst.

Rachel's words echoed around the room. Looking sharp and severe and suddenly filled with more emotion than Rachel could understand, Santana nodded jerkily. "Fine," she pushed out, voice low and deep, "You're right. I don't know if he's not."

…Rachel hadn't been expecting that. "Well," she breathed in, looking down to concentrate on the haphazard position her chopsticks had rolled into before slowly looking back up to meet Santana's lowered head, "Thank you."

Santana sniffed. "Sure." Pressing her palm into the coffee table, she pushed herself up. Looking lost and angry… No. Rachel stared at her. She was angry at herself. "I'm gonna go out."

"San?" Rachel rose.

"No." The word huskier than either girl expected, Santana raised a hand like she was pressing against the air to keep Rachel back. She moved her jaw, but no more words came out, and her lips twisted as she shook her head. Turning to the coat rack and bowl by the door that held her set of keys, she picked them up. "God, you're so stupid," she hissed at herself.

This was not the reaction Rachel would have expected. Where was the normal anger, the scathing remarks that Rachel was used to? Dread welled up in her body, confusion like a cloud settling uncomfortably in her mind. Rachel's eyes caught on Santana's unfinished chow mein. She used that as an excuse to try and hold Santana back, "But you haven't finished your food."

One of Santana's shoulders shrugged. "Not hungry."

"San."

"No, Rachel." Her hand slipping from the doorknob, Santana twisted to glare at her; her eyes looked like they didn't know if they should be sad or angry, "You've made it abundantly clear that for now, at least, it would be better for me not to be here. Why don't you go and call your fiancé?" Snarling the last word, Santana turned back to the door.

Santana. "Why does this mean so much to you?" Rachel raised her voice, stalking up to her. Her hand flying out to catch the door as Santana yanked it open, she ignored the smack of wood against her palm and the resulting shudder of impact shaking her arm. "If this is still about Brittany – "

"It's not about Brittany."

The lack of vehemence in Santana's voice made Rachel's verbal attack on the tip of her tongue fizzle out. Keeping her hand on the door, she searched dark, shielded eyes. "Then… Then what is this about?"

Santana didn't answer.

"Is this about Finn?" Rachel knew Santana and Finn had never really gotten along, but their antagonism had seemed to cool in the past year.

Santana's lips tightened, but she shook her head.

"Then… Is it about me?"

Santana averted her gaze.

The bottom dropped out of Rachel's stomach, and she moved her hand from the door up to her mouth. "This… Is about me?" How could this be about her? The only thing Rachel could think made her gasp. Her other hand grasped her shirt. "You really think so little of me that I'd so easily cheat on Finn?" she whispered, hurt only growing when Santana flinched but didn't deny it. "What?" her voice rose again, "You think I should just get it over with because it's an inevitability?"

"No!" Strong hands were suddenly cupped around the sides of her head, pushing her jaw up firmly but gently enough not to hurt her, Santana cradling her face. Her eyes burned into hers, and the girl let out an almost amused laugh, sounding like it was coming directly from her chest. "Sometimes," she whispered, studying Rachel intently, eyebrows low and tight over her eyes, "You're so smart it's scary." Her lips tried to quirk up, and Rachel's gaze dropped to watch them. "But sometimes," Santana breathed, making Rachel look up again, "You can be so stupid."

And then firm lips were pressed into her own, Santana's eyelashes brushing against her skin. Not moving, just a desperate pressure, like Santana needed Rachel to know she was there. Rachel could smell Santana's chapstick, feel her breath rush across her cheek, see how hard Santana had her eyes clamped shut.

It was beautifully tragic.

But… Santana.

Closing her eyes, Rachel gently brushed her fingers along Santana's knuckles.

A tear slipped down Santana's cheek, and she pulled back. More tears swam in her eyes, and Rachel's heart thumped at the sadness coiling deep inside the dark gaze. "I tell you to cheat," she whispered, using one thumb to softly stroke Rachel's cheek, "Because if you can cheat with someone else…" She smiled sadly, dropping her hands and finishing pulling the door open, "You can cheat with me."

Rachel's heart squeezed. Santana…

Taking a step out into the hallway, Santana gave Rachel another sad, resigned smile. "Don't wait up."

"Santana!"

Santana shook her head, "I'll be back, Rachel. Just… Don't wait up."

Rachel forced herself to breathe out, sinking back on her heels. She understood. "Okay. Be careful."

Santana's answer was a tight, fake smirk as she turned away, "Aren't I always?"

Neither girl was surprised by the silence that followed after her.

If she was, that wouldn't have happened.