(okay, I didn't have time so I split it into mini chapters as I wanted to get it up! Forgive me!)
Part 2
On Saturday night at 6:45pm Martina could be seen entering the church hall. She didn't believe in being late, and she wanted to make a good impression on the expert. However, when she went in she found herself confronted by an empty room. She wasn't bothered by this; she was 15 minutes early. So, she stood in the room, watching the clock, waiting for her course to start.
As the hands on the clock grew increasingly closer to 7:00, she became worried. Was she in the right church hall? Then she heard the voice behind her.
"Greetings."
She turned, slowly, not believing that she had heard right. But, sure enough, she had heard correctly.
"Mister Bosw-ELL YOU BLOODY IMBECILE!" she shrieked, for the man in question had just hoisted her over his shoulders in an elegant fireman's lift, and he was grinning like the Cheshire cat, clearly enjoying every moment of it.
"why if it isn't the lovely Martina!" he chuckled. "how are you, sweetheart?"
"what do you think you are doing with me, mister Boswell?" she asked, trying not to show just how much she too was enjoying the situation. Her mind was racing at just how daring, gallant and strong the man was, as no man had ever been so, well, intimate with her before. "mister Boswell, I am expecting a health and safety expert, what will they say if they arrive, late, I might add, and see you here with me. In a protestant church. What would your mother say?"
"oh, loads sweetheart, loads, and I know just what the expert would say. They would point out that they are not late, and compliment you on your lovely slim body, sweetheart."
"seriously mister Boswell?"
"they would, for I am the health and safety expert."