Between a Rock and the Darkness

Chapter Two

"Get away from my brother, Amara." Dean Winchester was pissed and it showed in the deeper, gravelly tone of voice he used as he stood a few feet from where he could see Sam's shaking body was being held by dark power that the hunter guessed was part of the Darkness or the part that this version of Amara could control.

From the moment he'd pulled himself back together after Castiel had helped him get inside wherever the hell he was, Dean had struggled not to be overwhelmed by thoughts, voices, and emotions that he quickly came to know were Sam's as he tried to fight the jealous acting teenager.

Dean could feel Sam's fear as well as his pain but seeing how pale his brother looked now, how shallowly he was breathing as well as how glassy his eyes looked pissed the hunter off even more. Though was truly mad him angry was how stunned the girl actually sounded when the truth of what he and Sam were besides brothers dawned on her.

"Dean. How'd you get in here?" Amara stood to face him, surprised to see him there but also still confused to what she'd seen in Sam's mind. "Why are you here?"

"You just basically mind raped my brother to get answers that were none of your business." Dean shot back with a sneer, eyes sliding to try to see Sam but not wanting to risk the girl getting the drop on him here. "If you knew anything about me then you'd know that touching Sam, hurting him in any goddamn way, is the one way to get me in your face," he stepped closer as anger simmered low in his belly at what he could see had happened to his brother. "Let him go. Heal what you did to him and then let him go. He's got nothing to do with you or with us."

"I don't think that's true and neither do you," she glanced back at Sam before looking at Dean. "You broke me hold for him."

"You could ask Crowley what I've done for him." Dean replied with a shrug. He felt the same low buzzing start to come over him as he'd noticed it would when near Amara or when she spoke to him. Recognizing it though allowed him to shift his thoughts to the one thing that always gave him strength: Sam. "No, not time, babe. You won't sink your hooks into me like you have been."

That proved to be and Amara clearly wasn't happy about it as her face took on a look that was much older than her current form. "I could kill you both with a thought!" she snapped without realizing how much like a spoiled teenager she sounded right then. "I could kill him! I can wait and take his soul back there and…Dean!"

The knife was out and against her throat even before Dean could think of the risk. "Been there, done that and vowed that no one would ever do that to him again," he growled lowly as the thought of Sam losing his soul chilled Dean to the bone. "I'd rather us both be dead before I let you take that from him, Amara. In fact...if you hurt him, if you try to kill him you'd better kill me now or else I will be your worst enemy."

Amara stared at him for a long moment before stepping back, almost looking confused by his demeanor. "You let me out. You freed me."

"That was a result of Sam's determination to free me from the Mark of Cain's control actually," Dean shrugged with a slight not to where Sam still laid, jaw muscle twitching as he took in his brother's pale face. "Death told me the Mark was actually a key to some prison but I didn't have time to tell Sammy that until it was too late. A spell that Sam didn't think would work was cast, I got the shit shocked out of me literally after I killed Death and…you were let out. So if you want to thank anyone for freeing you it should probably be my too stubborn to quit little brother, not me. Now…let Sam go."

"You…love him," she watched Dean's eyes go to Sam again and once again saw the same emotion enter them like she'd seen in her bedroom. "You're brothers but yet in his thoughts…"

"Thoughts that you had no goddamn right to violate," Dean shot angrily, furious at the thought of yet someone else screwing with Sam's mind in any way but hating it more because of what memories Amara had been after. "Yes, we're brothers and yeah…I love him like that because from the moment he was born I knew in my heart that he was mine," he glanced down at a small sound before looking back up to meet Amara's dark eyes fully, the muscle in his jaw twitching like it did when he was seriously angry.

"As for what else we are? What you fucked with his mind to dig up? Yeah, we crossed those lines a long time ago and while I might not say the words to him as often as I should, as often as Sam deserves to hear them…I will say this to you very slowly so you can process it," he took a deep breath before stepping closer to Amara and making sure to look down so their eyes were locked when he spoke again. "Either as my pain in the ass brother or my lover, I love him."

A sound like thunder cracked somewhere but Dean refused to break eye contact until he heard a moan of pain and then he shot a quick look toward Sam before setting it once again on the teenager. "Whatever link we may or may not have, whatever you happen to think is between us, whatever 'crush' you might think you have on me or think I'm supposed to return let me tell you now that while neither of us are gay and we both might look at a hot chick now and then, Sam is who I love and who I will kill and die for.

"If you think he's somehow 'in the way' or that hurting him like you have or might plan to later on will get you anything from me, think again," the tone of voice that Dean now spoke with was one that he'd used many times in his life but only with one purpose in mind. "Touching Sammy, hurting him in any goddamn way will only get you a chance to see me at my pissed off best. I have promised to keep him safe, to keep him from being hurt from everything from bullies, to assholes, to demons, to two arrogant asshole Archangels. Telling you to go back where you came from or using what's left of my life to kill you if he's hurt now won't be anything new for me."

Dean knew he'd passed a line that could very well end with both of them dying as Amara's dark eyes seemed to flash even darker as she stood glaring at him as if not believing he was speaking to her like that.

"I'm far more than Lucifer or Michael, Dean," she chose to remind me with just a hint of a smug little smile, lifting a hand to move it toward Sam just as the hunter's body arched in pain when she gasped in surprise at the strong grip that caught her wrist.

"True, because where they were both basically spoiled brats looking to be Daddy's number 1 kid, and one was just pissed off that he wasn't any more you are just a spoiled teenager pissed off that her crush is looking at someone else." Dean's eyes hardened into cold green slits even while he could feel the ice cold power seeping into his fingers, refusing to let go. "Amara, I'm not saying we don't have a link because I know we do. I can feel it. I'm also going to say that if you hurt my brother I will go to my grave looking for a way to not only break that link but put you back in your box."

The girl looked between the brothers for a long silent moment. "Your bond with him is strong. Your devotion to him, much like his for you, might very well be what allows you both to overcome the odds so often," Amara finally said before dropping her hand and stepping back from Sam but lifting it again to let it rest on Dean's face. "I saw in Sam's thoughts, I see in yours what you've both done for this pitiful world, for each other. I see what he's willing to still do for you and I can see now what you're willing to risk for him but think on this, Dean," she stopped to step back fully. "I could give you this world on a platter. I can give you anything you'd want and all you'd have to do is…"

"See there's always a stipulation with you guys who plan to destroy, take over, change or whatever else there is the world. I'm not a guy who works well with stipulations, babe. Go find a few angels and ask them how well trying to con me into being a vessel worked for Zachariah," Dean smirked with more confidence than he really felt. "Besides, there's only one thing in this world that I would want and I already have him. Let Sam go, Amara."

"You would choose Sam; you would choose what some would see as an immoral relationship over wealth, power, passion and control over all those who have done you harm?" Amara once again looked and sounded confused, watching as Dean slowly backed up until he was close enough to kneel next to his starting to stir brother. "Why?"

Dean wasn't surprised that she didn't understand. He seriously doubted if anyone, even people he once considered allies, would ever understand his motives so someone like Amara never would. It had taken him years to understand them himself but now as he placed a gentle hand flat against the center of Sam's chest much like he had for years when needing to remind his brother that he wasn't alone or needed to calm him down Dean had no doubts the risks he faced now were worth it.

"Mine," he said simply, lips curving a little more the moment he felt cold, weak fingers move up to find and wrap around his wrist. "He's mine, Amara. Anything you or anyone else could offer, all the money, power, influence or even revenge in the world wouldn't matter to me if I didn't have Sam in my life as my brother and in my bed as my love."

Dean moved his other hand up when he saw Sam's free hand seeking something and realized what it was. Catching it, the hunter held it tightly while watching Amara's face. "I'm telling you again if you don't want me as your worst enemy, if you don't want me to move what's left of Heaven and Hell to stop you now before you grow into the woman I met first…let my brother go and leave him alone."

Amara stood still, her face unreadable as she met the hunter's stare. She could see from the corner of her eye the way Dean's hand moved in slow circles against Sam's chest while his other hand had caught and held Sam's searching one tightly; both were acts she somehow could tell were things Dean was used to doing just like standing up for his brother like he'd just done also wasn't anything new.

The teenage Amara didn't understand the confusing feelings she had right then. She also didn't understand the depth of what was clearly between the Winchesters. She did know that she could easily kill both men and remove the risk of future problems but instead of doing that or harming the one she still considered a block in her path she simply offered a smile and a wave.

"Goodbye, Dean. Goodbye, Sam. We'll see each other again soon."

Dean wasn't sure what that meant but before he could ask or comment it felt like his whole body had been turned inside out at the same time as searing bright light blinded him. The next thing the hunter was aware of was the sound of a choked, strained voice shouting for him and that brought all of Dean's focus back to where it needed to be. "Sammy!"

Sam had woken up fast and much like he did whenever he woke up fast, confused, and in pain he reacted to the hands he could feel holding his shoulders. "Get away from me! De'n…Dean!"

The memories of Amara's attack, of feeling her rip into his memories to find out what she'd wanted to know, of reliving those memories and others had put Sam on guard but it was when he'd opened his eyes only to be confronted with flashes of light, of darker memories as if still trapped in that dream place that made him jerk his hands free from where he blearily thought he felt them being held and lashed out blindly at the first solid shadow he saw.

"Don't touch me! Get…Amara…De'n…!" Sam's head felt like it would pound off his shoulders as his own voice made it pound worse. He heard his words choke off with an instinctive cry of Dean's name when suddenly he felt strong arms wrapping around him from behind and wasn't sure to fight or freeze as he battled memories that still seemed real until finally a voice broke past the noise in Sam's ears.

"Sammy. Sammy, stop. I've got you." Dean's voice was low, deep but it served to clear Sam's head and ears of every other image and sound. "Shhh, that's it. Calm down and breathe for me, little brother. You're safe with me in the bunker. Amara's out of your head and I will do whatever it takes to keep it that way," he promised while fighting to keep his voice steady despite it wanting to shake as the hunter felt Sam's body slowly starting to relax back against him. "Just relax now. I've got you, baby boy."

It was the nickname that finally had Sam's body going limp in Dean's arms while he tried to slow his breathing and stop his hands from shaking. There were only two nicknames that Sam allowed to be used and both were only allowed to come from Dean.

'Sammy' was one he'd grudgingly come to accept and now was how Sam could tell when things were alright between them because when they were fighting or Dean was angry he didn't use it. The only other nickname was one that was definitely just between the two of them and lately only used when they were alone or being intimate. That one was what Dean had just murmured against his ear and was how Sam knew it was safe to relax.

"What…what happened?" he asked after he'd calmed down enough that he could feel Dean's one hand rubbing slow, familiar circles against the center of his chest while growling at a confused and concerned Castiel to back off. "That…Amara…was that real?"

Sam had been hoping it wasn't. He'd hoped it might have been a reaction to his visions or recent injuries except that wouldn't explain why he was on the floor of the bunker's library basically in Dean's lap while his head and body felt like it had been tossed around by a vengeful spirit.

"Yeah, God's bratty sister threw a teenage jealously tantrum and decided to ransack your head for why I got pissed off after she tossed you." Dean tried to sound normal but knew when Sam tensed that the barest edge to his voice had been heard. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't think she'd go after you like that or even that she could."

"We don't really know what she can do," Sam replied. He didn't blame his brother even though he did have some questions about some things he thought he recalled hearing but before he could ask any something else came back to him and he tried to twist just enough to look over his shoulder at Dean. "I heard you or thought I did. Did I?" he asked carefully while moving a hand up only to feel it caught and held.

"I had Cas help me get past the front door so to speak but yeah, you heard me," Dean told him, carefully shifting enough to help Sam sit up fully but let out a low growl as if in warning when the angel in question stepped a little too close again. "I wasn't sure if you heard anything since you looked pretty rough when I got there."

Thinking about what he had heard and what had seemed more like hazy dreams toward the end Sam shuddered once as he recalled having his mind and memories ripped open by Amara. "I…I could hear but…I think I'd fought her so much that when she finally got past my shields and the memories started hitting that I started to close off to protect myself," he paused, sitting up while resisting the urge to either curl in on himself or cling to his brother when he felt Dean's fingers gripping his hand still. "I was thinking to myself that I'd rather die than let her open all those wounds back up that Cas healed after the wall fell but then I heard you and…you actually came into my head?"

Dean waited until he was sure it would be safe to try to move before climbing to his feet, reaching down for Sam's hand to help him stand; steadying him when he saw his brother start to falter a little too much for comfort.

The hunter could tell Castiel wanted to help but once again motioned the angel to hold off. Dean knew from experience that right then Sam wouldn't want anyone else that close to him, not even an angel. "What did you hear me say to her, Sammy?" Dean asked once he was sure Sam was steady enough to attempt to walk. "We trying for the bedroom or just a chair right now?"

"Umm…shower if I can manage it and then a bed," Sam was tired. His mind and body felt like just falling into bed and staying there for a day or so but he also still felt her fingers digging into his jaw and through his hair, not to mention his mind, so he wanted a hot shower before he tried to sleep. "I heard you say 'mine' a couple times and then I think I heard her basically offer you the world if you didn't try to stop her or…you let her kill me or suck my soul out though I'm kind of hoping I can avoid that."

Dean was keeping one hand on Sam's arm in case he stumbled as he helped him out of the library and into the hall that led to the shower room. He winced when he realized his brother had heard a lot more than he thought he had or wanted him to.

Feeling Sam shake after tensing at the thought of losing his soul to feed Amara however made Dean move his free hand up to let it rest against the back of his brother's neck, fingers squeezing gently like he would when they were younger and the gesture was the only way to offer silent support.

"She's not eating your soul or killing you. I think I made that quite plain to the teenage demi-God or whatever the hell she is," Dean replied with an eye roll while motioning Castiel to leave them alone as he helped Sam into the shower room, sitting him down on one of the benches in the room before reaching in to turn on the hot water. "I think I also made it plain to her that hurting you would be the quickest way to making me her number one enemy and if she wanted that then she should just kill me now because I'd rather be dead than live without you."

Sam had closed his eyes after sitting down and was rubbing a hand through his hair as if wanting to be sure the damn girl hadn't left any finger holes in his scalp since he swore he could still feel her there. He pried one open however when he heard what Dean had just said to stare at where his brother was standing a few feet from him after having turned on the water for the shower.

"You…" he stopped to try to replay what he had heard earlier. Sam had grown up knowing that emotions, honest emotions and feelings weren't expressed by his father or older brother. He was the Winchester who usually wore his heart on his sleeve and still did while Dean buried his emotions behind a wall of sarcasm and lately an ice cold shell that had even gotten between them a time or two.

There were times when Sam knew how Dean felt but wished his brother would express it more or better than he did except Sam would never push for that as Dean just wasn't comfortable expressing or facing pure emotions like love, happiness, pride, and that was fine with Sam.

He knew how his brother felt or he usually did but to hear Dean openly tell anyone much less their current big bad nemesis that he'd rather die than live without him, that was a shock. A shock that must have showed on his face when Sam saw Dean's lips curve up into a slow smirk a second before the smirk turned into a softer smile; the smile that Sam knew only he got to see on his brother as Dean moved closer until he was in front of Sam.

"Mine," Dean said in a tone of voice that was low, deep with the type of emotion that he rarely used or showed unless it was to Sam.

He had seen the look of surprise that crossed his brother's face at what he said to Amara and Dean knew that he hadn't really shared his feelings with Sam recently so he guessed he could understand why Sam looked so shocked.

"Mine," Dean repeated as he moved close enough that he could slowly straddle Sam's lap, hands framing his brother's face; thumbs brushing over Sam's cheeks with a gentleness that made the younger Winchester shudder. "I told Amara that I didn't tell you this enough and I don't. I just assume you know but…" he paused to lean in closer, letting his lips graze over a faint bruise Dean had noticed on Sam's jaw. "I love you, Sammy."

Hearing those words said in the low, deep, sinfully sexy tone of voice that had been turning him on since he'd been 15 had Sam nearly forgetting how tired and sore he was or how he could still feel the intrusive touch of Amara's power.

Sam knew Dean loved him. He'd grown up learning all the little ways his brother could show those feelings without actually saying them. It was harder these days but still he knew it.

However as Sam felt warm lips continuing a path down the line of his jaw, back up to his ear and then slowly across his cheek until he finally felt a teasing touch of a tongue against his lips he was reminded that he also enjoyed when Dean showed that love as well.

"Love you too," he murmured a second before having to remember to breathe as Dean caught his mouth in a kiss that was searing in one moment and then softening in the next second. "Dean…"

"You're mine in all ways, baby boy," Dean said in between teasing kisses while slowly, almost reluctantly, easing back to stand up but made sure to bring Sam up with him; arms wrapping around his brother to hold him tightly. "Both as my brother and my lover, you're mine and no one, not demons, not angels, and sure as hell not God's bratty sister, will ever change that," he promised, voice deep and thick with emotions he rarely showed but would for Sam as he felt his brother's mouth open under his to allow his tongue entrance.

Slowly their kisses heated more as the heat from the shower steamed up the mirrors in the shower room and Dean's hands worked their way under Sam's t-shirt, fingertips teasing up his chest but went stopped at the first sign of pain from his brother.

Dean recalled how violently Sam had jerked and convulsed earlier as well as injuries that Castiel had suggested he might have due to Amara's attack. Thinking on possible broken or cracked ribs made him gentle his touch when his splayed his fingers against Sam's side and this time heard the soft gasp of pain that Sam tried to cover.

"How bad are you hurt and do you want me to get Cas to heal whatever it is?" he asked but wasn't surprised when Sam shook his head and pulled away from him. "Sammy? Tell me how bad she hurt you and what the pain level right now is."

"I'm just mainly sore unless I move wrong or twist suddenly or take a deep breath," Sam began slowly, wincing as he pulled his shirt over his head and heard the sharp inhale of breath from Dean that told him that he did have more bruises than he'd counted on. "The worst of what she did can't be healed by Castiel since it's mainly feelings leftover from the memories she yanked up and the feel of having my head…" he stopped before saying too much but suspected by the hard set of Dean's jaw that his brother knew what he almost said, absently rubbing his fingers over his head again until Dean caught his hands to hold them loosely in his.

"I hate having my memories ripped apart like that, Dean," he mumbled, eyes starting to drop only to pull them back up at the feel of Dean's arms pulling him forward into a hard embrace; an embrace that Sam returned tightly and with a need that he hadn't realized before he was feeling. "I didn't want her in my head. I didn't want her seeing us or what you are to me besides my brother but I…I couldn't keep her out. It was just like with Lucifer and Michael in the…in the Cage and…damn it! I still feel her rooting around inside my brain and…"

Dean knew by years of big brother instincts what was about to happen so he'd already tightened his arms a second before Sam's voice suddenly broke and Dean felt long arms wrapping around him tighter as Sam turned his face into his neck.

A hundred useless words ran through Dean's head along with a few choice ones toward every single asshole who'd ever hurt his brother in any way but right then the hunter knew all he could do was just hold and give Sam the comfort of knowing he wasn't alone and that he could let out all the buried emotions along with the tears that Dean knew Sam wasn't aware were falling.

"I know you still feel it, Sam, but you're safe with me in the bunker and we'll find a way to keep anything like this from happening again," Dean promised while shooting a warning look toward the angel in the door, giving a shake of his head to signal Castiel not to speak but just to give them privacy. "Just let it out now and we'll call a do-over in the morning for the chick-flick moment I'm about to give you."

Sam felt raw, both emotionally and physically, but even as a piece of him said to pull back, to hide it all until he was alone in the shower or in his own room the feel of Dean's arms, the strength in them as they held him, the feel of strong fingers rubbing slowly against his back before sliding up to grip the back of his neck gave him reassurance that his normally anti-emotion brother was giving him a pass on any snark or grief that Dean might usually toss out to cover a heavily emotional scene between them.

There were things that Sam wanted to tell his brother that he'd relived or that Amara had said as well as what he'd been seeing but right then all he could seem to do was work past the bitter frustration of having his mind raped while power that was nearly impossible to explain had held him down; trapping him and leaving him helpless which was something Sam hated to be.

The steam and heat of the shower room was making Dean light headed but he made no move to release Sam until he felt the hard shudders that shook his brother's body start to slowly ease up enough that he felt it safe to carefully nudge Sam back enough to take in the wary but exhausted face and knew purging the emotions, the memories and pain that Sam just had had also put his brother on the brink of passing out.

"Okay, strip and take that shower before we waste anymore hot water. I have to go grab something and then I'll be back to help you to bed," Dean said with a cough that he hoped covered the emotions he felt but didn't want to show right then. He left his hand on Sam's arm a second until he saw a shaky nod and heard a whispered 'thanks, Dean' before Sam turned away to finish undressing and shower away the feelings he could still feel on him of Amara's mental invasion.

Pausing to make sure Sam would be okay for a few minutes Dean stepped out the shower room to get halfway down the hall before having to stop, lean against the wall and fight the bitter urge to either slam his fist into the wall or go find someone to beat the shit out of just to expend the anger he felt right then.

"Go away and leave me alone with him," he said tightly without even looking up but knowing he wasn't alone in the hallway. "Go find some way to block his head from having Amara or anyone for that matter touch it or him again, Castiel."

Castiel had known since meeting the brothers that Dean's worst temper could be triggered by a threat to Sam so he wasn't surprised at the tone of voice he heard now or the refusal to heal whatever wounds the younger man might have so he merely stood still until Dean finally looked up at him.

"This isn't your fault," he said simply since he also knew the guilt for this attack would be weighing heavily on Dean. "You did all you could and given that she could've killed you both you should be grateful that you got Sam's mind back without more damage than what was done."

Dean knew that was true but it didn't help to calm him down, especially when the sounds of vomiting were suddenly heard. "I swore after you healed whatever the hell Lucifer did the last time that no one would ever touch Sam's mind again much less rip it apart like she just did," he said while forcing his hands to unclench, blowing out a hard breath. "Sam's memories aren't all sunshine and roses, Cas. He's got memories that I wish he didn't and having some jealous teenager paw at them, bring them up to the surface and leave him shaking like he is doesn't make me happy.

"It doesn't make me happy to know that he's hurt because of me or that I don't know if I can protect him from her," Dean ignored Castiel's attempts to offer reassurances since the hunter knew the truth. He knew that despite everything they'd faced that this foe didn't come with any lore to help them know how to fight her and the one person that might know was the one that had locked the Darkness up in the first damn place. "Just…just leave us alone tonight. He needs to sleep and I'm not leaving him alone so go watch more Jenny Jones or…do something…somewhere else."

Dean knew he might have been a little rude but right then he didn't care. He stopped by Sam's room to grab some clothes, detoured into the kitchen to grab a couple bottles of blue Gatorade instead of water and then snagged a chair out of the map room before making his way back to the shower room; not surprised at what he saw upon entering.

Sam had managed to strip out of the rest of his clothes but was just leaning under the still hard spray of the water with one hand flat on the wall while his other was rubbing the front of his head as if battling a headache or the phantom feel of fingers digging into his scalp and into his mind.

He'd lost the battle to keep from puking shortly after stepping under the hot water, feeling it hit the tight muscles in his neck as well as the line of bruises Sam had seen on his back from where Amara's dark tendrils had held him. It made him sick to know that injuries inflicted on his mind could be seen now on his actual body because then that made the other feelings all the more real to him and his stomach had finally revolted

Once that had stopped and he'd finally been able to climb back to his feet without the fear of falling and cracking his skull open, Sam merely leaned there to let the water hit him while trying to rub away from the feel of her touch on his head and the sound of her voice in his ears.

Sam was so distracted, so lost in the memories that he didn't hear his brother return until gentle fingers touched his neck and warm lips brushed over his face while Dean's voice spoke low and soothing from beside him.

"Whatever she said, whatever she told you or did that you haven't shared with me, it's time to let it go as much as possible." Dean said after placing the chair where it would suit his needs for the moment. "Let it go, listen to my voice and let me take care of you now."

"You always take care of me, Dean. Just once I'd like to be able to say I can do it myself," Sam wondered if he sounded half as bitter as he thought he had when a reassuring touch to his shoulder told him that he had. "I'm fine. I can manage to shower by myself and get to bed. You can go…huh?" he blinked when he suddenly found himself sitting on a chair that had been placed so the water would only hit his back or head if his head was tilted back…like it was when Dean gently tipped it back from where he stood behind Sam.

"Sammy, you do take care of yourself," the older Winchester said seriously as he stood looking down into Sam's eyes to see they were a little too glassy for his liking but chose to overlook that at that moment in order to concentrate on what he wanted to do. "If you didn't, you wouldn't have found a way to cure not only yourself but the others in that town of the Darkness's infection…though I do still want a blow by blow story of that whole mess since you didn't bother to tell me you'd got infected either time I talked to you."

It still bothered Dean that his brother had faced being infected, faced the fear of possibly dying, and had kept it to himself rather than tell him because Sam thought what Dean had been doing was more important. He made a silent note to drill it back into Sam's head soon that nothing was more important to him than Sam.

"So…you want a blow by blow description, huh?" Sam wasn't sure why his mind instantly went to the gutter with that phrase but before he could try to shrug it off or cover it he heard a low throaty chuckle before Dean leaned over from where he stood behind him to kiss him.

"Yeah, you're tired," Dean smirked. "Your brain only goes to gutter mode when you're really drunk or about to crash. Try to stay awake until I'm done and then we'll get you to bed."

"I am awake and what're you doing besides making me dizzy from looking up at you?" Sam blinked as water hit his face but then it was gone as his head was pushed back upright. "Dean? What're you doing?" he asked, starting to turn to look only to go still at the feel of his brother's fingers carding back through his wet hair a second before the sound of a bottle hit the shower floor and Sam realized what was happening. "Dean, I can wash my hair. You don't have to…umm…damn…"

The moment calloused fingertips touched his scalp to start to massage the shampoo through his hair Sam's words halted and he shivered.

"Yeah, I know you can and yeah, I do," Dean replied once he saw that Sam wasn't going to resist this move like he had thought he might.

Both Winchesters knew this wasn't the first time that they'd shared a shower or even that Dean had helped Sam wash his hair. Hell, Sam's first real memory of having his hair washed had come at his older brother's gentle hands so once he got over the surprise now Sam slowly felt himself starting to relax at the feel of Dean's fingers lathering the soap while rubbing gently back over his head.

No words were spoken or needed to be right then. Dean merely watched Sam's face and body slowly relax with each glide of his fingers over his head. He used his body to keep the water off of Sam until he needed it but was then careful when he tipped his brother's head back to begin to rinse the soap out to not let too much hit or to let any soap run into closed eyes.

Easily shielding Sam's face with one hand while rinsing thick dark hair of suds with the other reminded Dean of when they'd been younger, when things had been just keeping Sam safe from the usual monsters their Dad had hunted or from keeping father and brother from fighting.

Dean's plan had been to distract Sam off the feel of Amara's touch and he was pleased to see that it was working as he felt Sam slowly relaxing more even though he also noticed another part of his brother was starting to take notice of his touch.

"I guess this would also be a good time to say that I could do a really good job with some clippers on this mess of hair if you were interested," he said with his tongue in his check, seeing one eye pry itself open to shoot him a look like he'd been expecting right before he was also given a rude gesture. "Fine, I'll take that as a no."

"If you try to touch my hair I'll…" Sam started to say only to stop when he opened both of his eyes to look up at his brother when his head was tugged back fully and saw that Dean hadn't bothered to remove his t-shirt or jeans before entering the shower and now both were wet and skintight. "Umm, forget to undress?" he asked as it slowly began to dawn on him that with each touch of Dean's fingers over his hair, against his scalp that Sam couldn't feel Amara or her power.

"No, I didn't forget. There is a method to my seeming madness, Sammy," Dean smirked, fingers tightening in Sam's hair just enough to hold it still while letting the fingertips of his other hand brush lightly over his brother's forehead to see Sam's eyes change but this time in desire and not shock. "Can you still feel her, Sam?" he asked while moving to the front now so Sam could look at him without bending his neck back.

With a shake of his head, Sam suddenly knew why Dean had done what he just had and added another thing to the long list of subtle ways his older brother had of showing how he felt without actually speaking the words. "Not like before. It's still there but not as bad. I…I still feel your touch," he admitted and then had to swallow hard as Dean came fully into his line of sight after shutting the water off and Sam took in the way the black t-shirt and jeans, now soaking wet, clung to his older brother's body in a way that soon had Sam forgetting the leftover feelings from Amara's mental attack. "Is having me watch you peel yourself out of those clothes part of this plan, Dean?" he asked once he found his voice, fingers itching to touch but held back.

"It could be, little brother," Dean's lips curved into the slow sexy smile he used when they were alone, stepping just close enough that Sam's fingertips could brush wet denim as he noticed his brother's hands weren't shaking like they had been earlier; taking that as a good sign Dean slowly reached down to finger the bottom of his soaking wet t-shirt in a slow teasing gesture. "How tired and sore do you feel right now, Sammy?"

"If it's a choice between answering that truthfully and watching you take that shirt off then I feel fine," Sam replied as he could feel his body responding to the way the black t-shirt was clinging to the lean muscles of Dean's chest; muscles that very few people actually knew his brother possessed.

There was a twinge of pain in his ribs when he went to stand up only to freeze at the touch of fingertips pressing against his chest to keep him sitting in the chair. "Dean, I'm…" he started to say when lips caught his in a heated kiss that had always taken Sam's breath away. "…fine."

"Hmm, guess we'll have to just see about that, little brother," Dean murmured into the kiss, tongue teasing and playing over Sam's lips until with a soft moan they opened to allow him to enter and explore.

From the first time that he'd spied on Dean and one of the many girls he'd dated in High School to when they'd crossed the line that took them from brothers to so much more it had been Dean's kisses that had always fascinated Sam.

He'd grown up listening to girls gossip in the many schools they'd gone to what kissing Dean Winchester had been like. He'd overheard so many gossip sessions that by the time he'd hit 13 Sam had been tempted to trip a couple of the girls down a flight of steps but he'd held off with the determination that one day he'd work up the guts to see if everything they'd said or implied about his brother had been true.

It had taken Sam three more years of silent dreaming, of wishing, and of praying his older brother wouldn't hate him if he ever learned how Sam felt before he got his wish and learned that kissing Dean was so much more intense than those girls had even come close to realizing.

Even now after so many years had passed, changed between them the one thing that hadn't was the way Dean kissing him could affect Sam and the younger Winchester hoped it never did.

"You're overthinking something. Care to share with the class?" Dean's deeper than usual voice spoke against Sam's ear while he slowly moved his lips along the shell to gently tease the earlobe with his teeth. "I usually don't have to work this hard to keep your attention on me. Should I be worried or insulted?"

"Hmm, no, I was just thinking about how hot your kisses still were and how I hope they never stop turning me on," Sam replied on a gasp as he felt teeth grazing his jaw, feeling his cock getting harder with each kiss or touch of Dean's hand over his chest. "Dean…I…really want to see that shirt come off soon."

Dean chuckled but silently agreed because the wet jeans were now getting a lot more than just uncomfortable so with a quick flip of a mental coin to decide if he wanted to move this to a bedroom or just make out here in the shower room a noise from elsewhere in the bunker made his choice for him.

"Bedroom, Sammy. Now," he decided while he pulled back to grab a towel that he hurriedly wrapped around Sam's waist rather than bother with the jeans and t-shirt he'd brought with him. "Then we'll see about giving you that wish of seeing my shirt and jeans come off."

The promise of watching Dean remove the wet clothes was all it took for Sam to push any leftover pain aside to focus on making it to one of their bedrooms without either losing the towel or giving into the urge to convince his brother that having sex in the hall would be a good idea.

"And if we had this place to ourselves I might actually take you up on that plan," Dean said after hearing Sam muttering to himself while trying to tug at his brother's shirt. "However, since we are not alone you can put that on the bucket list of places that we need to have hot sex and then settle for my room."

Sam was so distracted by the feel of Dean's hands cruising over his body, being careful to avoid his sore side, as well as feeling his mouth lick and suck a line down his throat that he hadn't even known he was talking aloud much less that they'd reached their destination until his back hit Dean's bed with a surprised laugh. "Hey!"

"Thought you'd want a front row seat for this show," Dean said while his lips curved into the wickedly sexy smile that could turn still turn heads and melt hearts if he was interested in turning the head of anyone but the younger man currently shaking his hair out of his face after it had fallen into his eyes upon hitting the soft mattress. "Sure you feel okay Sammy?"

"I'd be better if you quit stalling and lose the damn shirt, Dean," Sam shot back as his patience seemed to have finally reached a limit. He pushed himself up on his elbows after a sharp warning look from Dean told him not to try to move off the bed.

Dean knew Sam was still tired and could tell he was fighting the pain he was still in so he ignored the impatient side that Sam rarely showed unless tired, hurt or pushed to his limit.

He eyed the towel that had somehow managed to stay on Sam despite Dean's best attempt to pull it off when he'd lightly pushed his brother back onto the bed. The way the towel was damp and tented told Dean that Sam was already half hard from earlier which was another reason for the need he could hear in his brother's voice.

Dean had kicked his door shut when they'd entered but now he turned back to give the lock a turn before turning back to the bed while reaching for the bottom of his t-shirt. "Other than wanting to see your awesome big brother strip, what else do you want, Sammy?" he asked with a knowing smirk.

"You," Sam said without pause or without needing to think or without playing. There was never anything else but Dean that Sam wanted when they were alone and intimate like this. "You told her, you've said it to me that I'm yours. Well…that means you're mine too and you're what I want, Dean. Always."

"Huh," Dean grunted, peeling the still wet black t-shirt off over his head in one smooth motion and dropping it to the floor as deep green eyes locked on Sam's with a slow smile. "You've got me then."

TBC