Chapter Two - House of Cards
Sam doesn't run away.
Not this time.
Sits down opposite me.
Locks eyes.
"Okay, let's be honest."
I've never not wanted to hear what he has to say.
How he feels.
But I don't want to hear this.
Truth beyond what my mind could conjure.
Words tear through me.
Blunt, brutal.
Debilitating.
I've always tried to rationalize.
Excuse.
Deny.
Build on my beliefs.
Cling to my truths.
Family.
Purpose.
Home.
This truth hits hard, bitter and cutting.
My foundation tilting on shifting sand.
Gale force winds blowing fierce…
Flimsy walls buckling from the strain.
Crumbling.
A house of cards
Folding…
The End
bjxmas
February 2014
All standard disclaimers apply.
Jensen always manages to convey what Dean is feeling, the devastation chipping away at his stoic attempt to contain the damage, his pain all right there on his face. The shift of his body and the withdrawal behind his walls so excruciatingly painful to watch because those eyes can't lie and Dean doesn't deserve to feel like that for the act of loving too much.
It's not like he didn't agonize over his decision to save Sam, but honestly, SAM chose to not die back in that church. Sam CHOSE to stop the trials because he wanted to live. So this suicidal bent of his that came later, his willingness to slip away without fighting, to simply accept his fate, is something Dean can't comprehend or accept. Dean's love is his driving force, his determination to save his brother part of his ingrained personality. Can you fault a man for talking another off the ledge?
The only thing I can agree with is "It's complicated." Yes, it is, but bottom line is, Winchesters fight until their job is done. They don't quit and they don't give up or give in. It's why they're damn heroes and why their journey will never be easy.
Thanks for reading. All comments are appreciated.
Later, B.J.