Disclaimer: Still don't own NCIS or their characters

Just wanted to say a huuuuge thank you for the positive reviews it means the world to me. I'm not really sure where I plan on going with the story yet, and it may seem a little slow. So any reviews will be great :) Thank You xx!

Chapter 2

Tony inched away from Ziva, removing himself from the situation, she was drunk, angry and confused and he was just angry and confused. Every ounce of his being was aching; he looked into her eyes as if trying to find a shred of hope left in her indignant soul, but her eyes were empty and there was nothing there for him. Dropping his head he was trying to search for the right blend of words "I'm worried, I really am.. You are so angry with me, and with yourself. I want to help, but I, I try and you are so adamant on just pushing me over the edge with you…I was there okay, I know, it was messed up."

He broke off remembering Somalia and the state Ziva was in, malnourished, beaten, broken; he looked to the floor, trying to fight Saleems ghost. Ziva looked at Tony "There is nothing here for you Tony, this is not your apartment, just go home." Ziva stepped back into the hall leaving Tony in the elevator, she was choking back her tears and fighting her anger, she stood there silently regretting every word she hissed at him.

He was unable to move, to breath, the simplest tasks were rendered impossible, his insides were screaming out for him to just do SOMETHING, and eventually the elevator doors closed and there was nothing.

Ziva wanted to stop him, to apologise, but when she opened her mouth to speak nothing came out but a scrambled mix of sounds.

"You are nothing to your team, they will leave you, they HAVE left you"

"That you have always had my back"

"No one is coming for you"

"Couldn't live without you"

Ziva blinked through her tears jamming one key after another into her door until one finally fit, she opened her door and stood in the kitchen hypnotized by what had just happened, she pushed away the person who meant the most to her. She was so angry to have survived that she was killing herself from the inside out; Tony's feelings were merely collateral. "I am a horrible human being" Ziva thought to herself.

Tony finally managed to finally press "ground" on the elevator rather than it standing idly closed on Ziva's floor. As the elevator started to move anger began to surge through him, he wasn't just angry with Ziva he was angry with himself, with NCIS, and Eli and Rivkin and Ray and SALEEM

Saleem

He couldn't believe how many men had betrayed her, how many men had held her feelings hostage and tortured her, of course she was pushing him away, of course she wanted him gone, he had just figured they were past this.

"Vengence Saleem."

"You should not have come"

Those lifeless eyes staring at him; frail and hopeless.

Tony finally released the pent up anger launching his fist into the elevator wall causing it to shake and drop slightly, he yelled and swore until the doors open exposing the calm night. There is nothing here for you. He stormed out, got into his car and started the engine.

"Quite a situation you got yourself into"

Mike was back

"I see you are back…"

"Yes ma'am, what the hell was that?"

Ziva tried to ignore the man in her apartment

"Back to ignoring me huh.. Well I'm here to stay"

"!"

"How you gonna fix this huh?"

"THERE IS NO FIXING THIS! What is done is done!"

Ziva walked aimlessly through her apartment ignoring the fact that there was a dead man behind her.

"We all die eventually! I was sick anyways"

Zive spun around and looked at Mike

"You think you need to die to level the playin field? It's the risks you take everyday.. What happened in Mossad? You have a little break down everytime someone was killed? How many times you been taken hostage? This ain't news to you Ziva"

Ziva stared into his brown eyes and wrinkled face wondering how this ghost looked so real.

"You need to let this go….Look what you're doin to people who care about you"

"How am I ever going to let this go? I have no idea who I am!"

Ziva walked away and slammed the bathroom door, sitting against it pushing her weight as hard as she could against the door; her hands were on the cold tiles digging into the granite until her fingers started to bleed.

That tiny room. One bucket. Chains surrounding her entire body. The blinding darkness. Those haunting footsteps.

Tony was well aware he was over the speed limit but he didn't care, he couldn't focus on anything but the words she carelessly threw at him, it's as if he should have seen it coming to be ready to catch them and throw them away as if they were nothing.

"You should have left me to die!"

Tony was so angry, so hurt and so helpless, he couldn't help but shake the overwhelming sense of guilt that washed over him like a black wave. "I shouldn't have left her" he thought to himself. There was nothing he could do but to keep driving home.

"I guess she'll call when she's ready"

Out of nowhere Tony turned his car around his car screaming through the silent streets. He couldn't fathom what he was doing, or why. Ziva didn't want him there she needed him there, he needed him there, Tony was lost in a haze of fury and overwhelming hurt that he almost drove past Ziva's apartment building.

Ziva was laying on her bathroom floor, reliving each memory of Saleem, one more painful than the other. She peeled herself from the ground turned on the taps and managed to undress herself and crawl into the shower feeling the water pelt down onto her naked body.

His cold, cold hands. His cold, cold eyes.

Ziva traced each scar on her body left from the torture she had endured, each telling it's own story.

Her clothes torn off. His sullen stare. The way she screamed anticipating the pain hoping she would just wake up from this nightmare or collapse from the pain.

She swore she could feel him there with her, hissing her name and imbedding his fingertips onto her skin. She breathed in the hot air feeling it turn to steam in her lungs drowning her in her thoughts.

Her vehement screams echoing through her cell as she was held down and gagged with petrol soaked rags, feeling him, smelling him, choking on her vomit.

Lathered in soap Ziva was trying to wash away the memories, scrubbing her skin with her bleeding hands, losing herself more and more with each haunting recollection, looking around for relief but only seeing Saleems face splashed on her walls.

Tony was in the lobby waiting and waiting and waiting for the elevator to arrive until he couldn't take it anymore; he searched until he found the fire exit, and located the stairwell. He pulled the door back and began climbing the flights of stairs not feeling the pain surging though his legs, there was no ventilation, sweat dripped down his back, his hands were so wet that it was pointless holding onto the hand rail. He fought and fought his trembling legs and aching heart, wiping his pouring sweat onto his shirt remembering Ziva's shattered body and hollow eyes and all the things she said to him.

Tony took the final step and crashed through the door t, the air conditioning hit him so hard he forgot to breathe; he paced himself, hands slippery, and shirt dripping. He reached her door, the door he'd seen so many times before but had never felt this sick to his stomach knocking on it. He raised hand and knocked three times.

Nothing.

He waited a couple of minutes, and knocked again.

Still nothing.

Before his rational mind could intercept he started pounding the wooden door "Ziva! It's Tony! Look, I'm sorry, I dunno..But just talk to me please!"

Nothing

His frantic mind started jumping to conclusions, pounding his hard fist against the door screaming her name, not even thinking to pick the lock he stood back and crashed it down. Standing in what appeared to be an empty apartment he looked around, seeing her bag on the couch and belongings scattered on the floor. It wasn't until he heard the sound of water he realised she was in the shower, and she was safe, she wasn't being taken away, and she hadn't run away or given up. He breathed a sigh of relief and heard the shower stop he sat on the couch and rubbed the back of his head and waited and waited, it felt like it had been hours, but only mere minutes had passed.

Ziva was wrapped in her towel back to sitting on the ground, she knew she had to move eventually, but she sat there numb and longed for the days when Saleem did not even exist to her. But he existed in every possible way, and in case she ever forgot he marked her body up and down, scarring her, reminding her every day of his evil face.

Ziva stood up slowly pressing her body against the wall, her hair sticking to her body, avoiding the mirror at all costs she turned around to open the door and slowly walked out of the foggy room, about to head to her bedroom she sensed she was not alone "Mike" she thought "How long until you leave me alone for good?"

"What? Is that what you want?" Tony responded

"Tony? What are you doing here?" Ziva clenched the towel to her naked body feeling more vulnerable than before.

Tony stood and walked toward Ziva "I shouldn't have left you tonight".

She looked up at Tony this man was a mess; she could smell his pain and sweat her head was spinning.

Tony realised that it was the first time since Somalia he had seen her look so fragile, he towered over her small frame trying to find the right words to fill the silence.

"We need to fix this Ziva"

"There is no fixing Tony… It is beyond that" Ziva looked down wishing that it were that simple, she was tired of these easy words for such a complex situation.

Tony looked at clock realizing they had to be back at the Navy Yard in just five hours.

"Do you mind if I use the bathroom"

Ziva shook her head, Tony stepped in closer cupping her face with his hand taking in her sorrow, trying to make it hurt less "I'm so sorry" he said before walking down the hall unlocking his phone and dialing Gibbs' number.

Let me know what you think :)