It's Not My Fault I Fell For Your Stupid Accent

DISCLAIMER: I'm sixteen. I have $36 in my bank account. Do you think I own any of this?

A/N: This is short, but I wanted to get something going before school starts again (groans). Let me know what you think! Oh, and it alternates from Katie and Oliver's perspectives in case you don't catch that.

Chapter One: Hanging (Upside-Down) With The Captain

Katie:

"KATIE BELL WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" bellows an angry, no, scratch that, infuriated voice from the opposite end of the Quidditch pitch. The infuriated voice belongs to my charming Quidditch captain, Oliver Wood, and the reason he is so infuriated is that it is our first Quidditch training session of the year and I am hanging from the goal hoop by my Quidditch robes, laughing like a maniac.

Does that sound crazy to you? Because really, I'm not insane. The stupid Weasleys just decided that I'd be better use off my broom and hanging on a hoop, because apparently it's boring watching me actually play Quidditch.

Uh oh. Wood is racing down the pitch towards me with that manic glint in his eyes he only gets when he's either really angry or really obsessed. It's amazing how I can tell that Manic Look from my upside-down view of the world, isn't it? But no time for that.

"BELL!" Wow, he actually does roar.

"Wood," I answer conversationally. One has to be polite in diplomatic crises such as this.

"Why are you hanging from the goal, by your Quidditch robes, upside-down?" he asks like the last bit is the most important. Honestly, it's not like you can see my undies or anything. Fred was nice enough to put an Anti-Gravitational Charm on my robes.

"Er, new training techniques?" I hazard.

He seems to be breathing out of his nose like a steam engine. I never noticed how scary people look upside-down…

"How exactly does hanging upside-down relate to Quidditch, Miss Bell?"

"Er, I'm getting a new perspective?"

"…"

I'm on a roll now.

"Well, I'm always seeing things from the same position on the field, and I thought that maybe if I hung upside-down from the goal hoop for a while I'd get a different perspective on what's going on in the game." I give him my most brilliant smile, which must have lost some of its charm with me being upside-down because he's still doing the Steam-Train-Breath.

"Is it working?" he finally asks, using his gruff-macho-I-am-your-captain voice.

I quirk my eyebrows.

And that's how I've found myself, on the first Saturday of October of my fourth year at Hogwarts, hanging upside-down from the Quidditch goals with my captain, Oliver Wood.

Oliver:

Katie Bell is full of it. We spent two hours on Saturday morning hanging from a goal hoop because she said it would improve our game. Not that I really actually ever believed her, but she is full of it all the same. Why did I stay there for two hours if she was full of it, you may ask? Two reasons; we were having a great argument about why the Chudley Cannons really sucked, and probably most importantly, Fred and George had nicked our brooms and we weren't about to jump fifty feet to the ground. In the end we were rescued by a smirking Angelina, who said something about wanting to give us 'alone time'. No idea what that girl's on about.

That incident was a whole week ago though. Now we're all sitting in the change rooms after a particularly brilliant training session, and Fred and George are at it again.

"We really think, oh captain most magnificent –"

"– That we really do deserve, you know,"

"Just a few hours,"

"Perhaps three,"

"Even four,"

"Well, you know; just a little pre-match celebratory celebration."

"I mean, we are obviously going to whoop Slytherin's butts,"

"But we really need to let our hair down –"

"– So to speak,"

"And the best way for that is with a little help from Barnaby Butterbeer and Freddy Firewhiskey."

"Barnaby Butterbeer?" Angelina asks, scrunching her nose up like she thinks Fred has had one too many 'Freddy Firewhiskey's'.

"Why yes, my Angel-Eyes, do you like the names?"

"I thought Boris was a better one," chimes George.

"ENOUGH!" I roar. Wow, I really do roar.

Everyone stops in mid-action. Harry looks like he's about to pee his pants. I'm not that much of a monster, am I?

"Geez Wood, no need to be such a monster," Katie grumbles.

"That's enough Bell! There will be no pre-match celebratory celebrations! If we win, then we can celebrate. And Bell, stay behind. You're helping me pack this gear up."

Fred and George wolf-whistle and Angelina goes on (again) about the 'alone time' business. Katie jabs Fred with her wand in his manly bits which makes Angelina start fussing over him. Ah, that's my girl, Katie. I mean, er…right, must pack away Quidditch gear.

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