Ryouga walked down the dusty road, and turned right. Suddenly, he found himself outside the Saotome home.
"Again?" he said. "I really have to work out how I do this."
Nevertheless, Ryouga walked through the gates and entered the house. "Konnichiwa!"
Nobody replied.
Ryouga decided he may as well get himself a bath and some tea. Entering the front room, he turned to get to the kitchen and suddenly found himself in the garden. Cursing, Ryouga stepped back into the house and saw the kitchen. Entering, he tried to find the cups, but only found:
"P-Panties!?"
The lost boy suddenly collapsed to the floor, spraying the ground with dots of red blood, as he passed out.
*
Ranma and Ranko headed for school, awaiting the chaos that they knew would ensue. Stepping through the gates, they saw half of the male populace rush towards them. The other half rushed towards somebody else in the grounds.
"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!" Ranko screamed, before rushing headlong into the testosterone-fuelled crowd. Ranma decided to hop onto a wall and watch. He always enjoyed watching his sister fight. It proved interesting.
It was almost like the fight was ripped out of an Anime. A huge dust-cloud appeared and the odd limb poked out every now and then, with the occasional wannabe fighter flying out the top, landing on the ground head-first. After a few minutes, the cloud settled and Ranko stood in the middle, barely a hair out of place and not a single crease in her uniform.
A slow clap spread across the now-silent front ground. It came from a single, handsome looking fellow.
No points for guessing who.
"Kuno!" Ranko spat. "When are you going to get tired of all this? Every morning for the past year, I've defeated every single man in the school who attacks me and then I defeat you. For – hopefully – the last time, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!!"
"Ah, but my beauteous goddess," the deranged kendoist replied, his dulcet bass tones spreading a shiver up the spines of all present, a mix of pure charisma and pure dumb-assery. "I announced such a challenge to try and free you from the wrath of that foul Saotome. It is my duty, as a fighter and one of many noble samurai to defend those who might not be able to themselves."
Ranma decided he could do with some limbering up for the day and jumped over to land beside his sister.
"Listen, Kuso. We're twins. We're brother and sister. We're related. We have documents to prove it. Documents that the law will back up. We are registered at this school as siblings. Your pop's the principal of this place, he can say the same. For the last time, Kuso, LEAVE US ALONE."
Kuno was practically livid. The deliberate mispronunciation of his name had tipped him over the edge. "SAOTOME!!!"
Ranma jumped up and landed on the tip of Kuno's bokken. He then proceeded to perch on the kendoists head. "Hey, Kuno, how about we make this fight formal?"
"What?" Kuno said, dumbly.
"Yeah, lets put something on this match. How about this: If I win, you leave me and my sister alone for as long as it takes."
"Very well, Knave." Kuno replied, his charismatic voice returning. "However, if I win, you will allow me to date the fair Akane Tendo."
"Ranma!!" a voice shouted from the crowd that had formed nearby. "Don't you dare Ranma! Don't take that risk!"
Ranma must not have heard, because he then said: "Sure, why not. Hey, you know what? I might even go easy on you!"
"HAVE AT, YE!" Kuno screamed, swinging his sword above his head to officially start the fight. Ranma jumped backwards, landing around ten feet away.
"Bring it on, Kuso! Let's see if you've improved at all!"
*
Ukyou sat in her restaurant, serving the customers with all she had. The breakfast rush often was the busiest time of the day as businessmen on their way into Central Tokyo grabbed a bite to eat so as not to go hungry for the day, replacing the skipped breakfast their wives made them. In the world of banking, hunger was second to money.
Ukyou poured her heart and soul into every single serving. Every time she mixed the batter, she looked at a picture of her adored that was stuck to the wall with blu-tac.
"Oh, Ryouga…"
Sticking another serving into a cheap takeaway box, she took the money, tilled it up and delivered another with practiced ease. However, Ukyou was doing this entirely on automatic. Her mind was wandering.
Ryouga better show up soon! I haven't seen him in a while. I miss him. I want to talk to him, hold him, be with him, look at him, smell him, listen to him…
Ukyou sighed. It wouldn't do to miss Ryouga during hours. She wouldn't be putting her heart and soul into it otherwise. Each dish was filled with love and passion, happiness and fortune. It was why she was such a hit in the area.
Another dish, another order, another ringing of the door. More dishes and more money. Such was the Kuonji lifestyle.
*
Moira sat in her office, behind her desk looking at the satellite photographs of an urban area. Suddenly the phone rang.
"Department of Fate, Goddess Moira speaking. How may I help you?"
A brief silence as the person on the other end spoke.
"Yes, I got the pictures. What do you want doing?"
More silence.
"But… Zeus, Allah, God and Kami all agreed such a thing should not be allowed! I'm sorry, Ardra, but you and Ru Shou can't decide some poor people should have that happen to the—"
Another silence, however, much longer than before.
"I want to see this clearance."
Suddenly, a cloud floated through the door of the office, a piece of paper tied to it. Reaching up, Moira untied the paper from the cloud. It promptly floated back out the door and down the hallway.
"Yes, I just received it. Yes, it does seem to be in order. Well, if the Bosses have agreed to it, there's not really much I can do, is there?"
Another silence, but the tension in the room was considerably less.
"Haha, yes, of course. I'll get us a table and we can all talk. And the wine's on me, dear. No, I insist, and if you try to say otherwise, I'll hang up."
"Haha, Okay dear. I'll see you later. I'll inform the spirit now. Ciao."
Moira put the phone down and sighed. She hated agreeing to do this, but if the Holy Four said it was okay, then she couldn't really do anything.
Opening a drawer, Moira pulled out a bigger cloud than the one that bore the document. Placing it in the air, it floated and expanded, becoming transparent in the middle. Suddenly, the middle changed colour, and Moira saw that another entity was crashed out on a couch.
"Moira? Is that you?" the entity asked.
"Yes, it is me, Yenko. Get your act together, you got business again."
"Really? How did you pull that off?"
"The Holy Four agreed to the department of Misfortunes will. I'm just passing the message and details on, but you've got some people to get busy with. I'm sending you the information now."
Inside the viewing cloud, a smaller cloud appeared, this time carrying a folder full of documents underneath it. The entity called Yenko detached the folder and bid the cloud good day. The cloud replied with a squeaky "Thank you, sir. You as well."
Opening the folder, Yenko looked over the details and files inside. "Hmm… select victims, free reign over what they receive… This is like Christmas Come Early!"
"I'm glad you like it." Replied Moira.
"You bet I do! I'm going to start planning it right away. Thank you, Moira. Pass my thanks on to the Department of Misfortune and the Holy Four as well."
"I will, love. You get to work now. Those human shows rot your mind."
"Aint that the truth."
"Oh, one thing, Yenko…"
"Sure, go ahead."
"Why are you called Yenko? I can't see where the link is between your name and—"
"My dear, I get asked that so many times, you wouldn't believe. My parents were idiots, basically. It was meant to be Enkyo, but my father was Dyslexic. My mother never checked it."
"Aaah, I understand. Well, I'll let you be, dear. Enjoy!"
"Sayonara!"
Authors Notes:
YEA! FINALLY UPDATED THIS! Updates for this might be slow, but they're always fun to write, so you never know, I might pick it up more often.
In the reviews, BTB said that you can't have identical twins of opposite sex. I disagree. I say it's possible. Wheras Ranma and Ranko aren't identical PER SE, they have extremely similar genes. I'm not going to get into a scientific debate about this, so I'm just going to leave it as that. The odds are one in OVER NINE THOUSAAAND.
*cough*
Sorry.
NEXT TIME ON SAOTOME SIBLINGS
Yenko does some weird stuff.
Akane has another fight.
Ryouga gets glomped.
Kuno wins something
Ranma and Ranko get embarassed.
Don't miss it!
Ranma 1/2 (c) Not Me. I just use the characters. They were made by Takahashi-Sama, and we are ever thankful for it. =]