Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Hopefully you're not disappointed.

And sadly, Hiroki doesn't seem very… Hiroki in this. I'm hoping to improve in the later chapters. All OOC-ness is due to this being a spoof, and for that I am sorry.

--

I woke up to someone stroking my hair lovingly. Akihiko, I wondered. I loved how Akihiko rubbed my head. It was soo sweet… Then I opened my eyes and realized it was Nowaki touching me, not Akihiko.

"Bastard!" I yelled jumping back, "What are you doing in my house?"

"Well, I finished my paper route, because I'm such a big boy! And then I stopped here to watch you sleep like Edward Cullen." He said, smiling like usual.

"Get out!" I yelled, pulling my blanks up to cover my nude body.

"I made you breakfast." Nowaki offered another smile.

--

"You did all this just so I'd tutor you?" I asked, looking at all the food on the table. I hadn't seen that much food in a long time.

"You don't know?"

"Duh, why do you think I'm asking?"

"Hm, I wonder…" Nowaki shook his head and began eating. Wow, this guy was soo weird. I would probably have to get a restraining order against him.

Anyway, so I let him hang out. Mostly because he offered to do the dishes, and they had been piling up. I leaned back against one of my many piles of books, watching him. When he glanced up at me I jumped back, hitting the stacks. They wobbled a couple of seconds before showering down on me.

"Are you okay?" Nowaki asked, shielding me from the falling books.

"A bunch of books just rained on my head. Of course I'm not okay!" I said, sitting up.

"You know you owe me one now." Nowaki winked at me.

"Don't get too excited." I growled putting my chest out as if it made me intimating. "I'll tutor you but you better adjust to my schedule! Late nights and early mornings!"

"Yes!" he said beginning to pick up the books around us.

Putting aside his annoying straightforwardness, I decided Nowaki wasn't too bad. And he was really starting to remind me of Akihiko.

No. He wasn't like Akihiko at all. It was just his hands.

"You're soo cute, Hiro-san," he said, rubbing my head like Usami did. Nevermind, he was just as annoying as I thought he'd be.

I threw the books I'd picked up at him. "You know what, I don't need this. I've got work."

"You mean; you're going out to…"

"Yeah, I am." I said crossing my arms.

Nowaki frowned and said, "Please don't."

"What? Are you going to give me a job? I don't think so, so do your homework and let me go."

--

I got home an hour later. Nowaki was asleep on my floor. Go figure. I didn't really expect him to leave. I took the paper off the table in front of him.

"You're back?" he said, yawning.

"Yeah," I said, scanning the paper he'd written. "I'll check these, now go wash your face. You're drooling."

He nodded and went into my bathroom. "So… This is kind of awkward."

"I don't say anything about your life; you don't say anything about mine." I muttered back.

"Okay, so how's your senior thesis coming? Did I say that right?"

"Yeah, and it's finished. But I still have to write another."

"Why?"

"I'm going to be staying in school," I sighed.

"Are you being held back?"

"No, you idiot!" I shouted, "I'll have you know I'm at the top of my class. I'm going to become a grad-student like I've always wanted! Then I'm going to go to band-camp. And I'll yaoi, but I won't care about the Yuri."

"Oh, nice." He said nodding approvingly.

"I guess… Uh, I was just saying, you know. I didn't mean to brag." I said realizing how childish I sounded.

"Why not? If you're good, say so,"

"Well, I've heard I'm pretty damn good." I teased making him blush. I wasn't shy about my lifestyle. And maybe I'd scare him away. "Anyway, these are all right. Read the next chapter in this and come back next week and I'll give you a test on it."

"Next week?" he asked.

"I'm not your baby-sitter, Nowaki. I'm not going to see you every day."

"I can finish that book over night."

"Then you won't sleep. That's why I do my work early except on weekends. You need to get a good rest. Don't you have six jobs or something anyway?"

"Yeah, things meant get pretty rough."

"Really rough, just like Bara-sama down the block."

Nowaki looked at me with sad eyes, "You know I can help..."

"No," I said stubbornly, "I don't need help."

"But, Hiroki, this isn't…"

"Isn't what?" I asked, pissed off, "Nowaki, I told you before. Don't say anything about my life, okay? You don't understand half of it."

"I'm sorry. You're right, but I'd love to know you better, Hiro-san."

"Why?"

"I just do," he answered.

"Whatever," I said. I stepped into the kitchen and began digging though my fridge. I grabbed a couple cans of beer and went back out. "You want to know me better? You're going to have to get me really, really drunk."

Nowaki laughed and took the can I handed him.

Okay, I take back I lot of what I said before. He wasn't too bad. We hung out for awhile. And laughed over a couple stories.

Then he ruined everything by bringing up Akihiko.

"You like that writer, don't you?" he asked, picking up one of Usami's books.

"Why would you say that?"

"Well besides the fact that you own 3 of every book, you also have hearts drawn around his name and the picture on the back of the book. It's kind of creepy." He said, showing me the picture.

I pulled the book from his hands and threw it across the room. "He's my best friend," I answered, "That's it."

Okay, that wasn't it. I was in love with Akihiko. No, I used to be, I told myself. He didn't feel the same as me.

"I got to go," Nowaki said suddenly, looking at his watch. "I'll miss the last train if I don't."

He left. But I didn't feel as excited as I should have. Maybe Nowaki wouldn't be too bad.

--

Okay, this was getting long so I had to cut it here. Thanks again to those who've reviewed and hopefully I'm not screwing everything too much.

Review Responses: Thanks to everyone who asked for it to be continued. You all get a cookie. And yeah, this is the Egoist Spoof, which is already more popular than my Terrorist Spoof. (Romantica? Well, a friend and I were talking and I think it may involve aliens. And I do have horrible ideas for Mistake.) (I just saw Couple's Retreat… Prepare for a new Cross-over spoof.)

And, yeah I don't believe in dissing prostitutes either. Its pimps I don't like. (In the first rough-draft-in-my-mind Akihiko was gonna be Hiroki's pimp… but I took it out because it just didn't fit right.)