Chapter
One day I heard a new male voice. He sounded kind of angry, I didn't know who this voice was but under that anger I could hear concern. Concern for my mommy I'm sure. I heard him tell my granddaddy "I heard Bella made it back alive". I really wasn't sure what this meant at the time. Was he referring to me, or maybe he didn't like mommy being with daddy and thought he was going to hurt her.
I heard my granddaddy trying to tell him it wasn't a good time, but this man wouldn't leave. Then I heard my mommy say "Why not?" "Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?" I wasn't sure what all she meant by keeping secrets. I think she was referring to me. I heard her pleading to see this Jacob person. He must mean something to my mommy.
Then mommy said "Come in please, Jacob" she said this loud but hoarsely. She sounded like she really wanted to see him. I wondered who this Jacob was. Did he and mommy know each other well? I didn't know what it was all about at the time it happened. Mommy once told me that Jacob was there for her when my daddy had left. But she also said he only left to protect her, and then he came back. I have heard the stories of how Daddy and Jacob didn't get along and how they were both fighting for my mommy's heart. I heard Jacob say "excuse me" to granddaddy then I could hear is footsteps as he came into the house. Then they stopped all of a sudden. I was trying to figure out what had made him stop so abruptly. When I was trying to listen I accidently made my mommy throw up. I hated to bring her this agony and pain. I wished I could of told mommy at the time how much I loved her and how I didn't mean to hurt her. I was trying my best to be careful but there wasn't much room in mommies belly for me to move, and I was so strong, so every time I flinched just a little my mommy would scream in pain.
As this was going on I could hear Jacob move closer to my mommy. Then I heard Aunt Rosalie hiss at him. Then I could hear my mommy say "Rose don't, it's fine" I could hear Jacob coming closer and then I heard him kneeling. "Bella, what's wrong?" he asked. I felt my mommy move her hand, then I could tell she was holding something. I wasn't really sure what it was, then I heard Jacob say "Are you alright?" I could tell my mommy was a little happier cause when she said "I'm so glad you came to see me today, Jacob" I could hear and feel the love behind it. Even though I was making her really weak she seemed to find a way to keep her spirit alive. By the moaning my daddy did I could tell he didn't like Jacob very much or the fact that my mommy was so happy to see him.
I could feel my mommy rubbing something. I felt her hand and arm moving up and down. I figured it had to be Jacob cause he then said "What is it, Bella?" I felt mommy moving her head around. Like she was looking for something then I heard her say "Help me up, Rose" It was quiet and still for a second the mommy said "Please, Rose" Then I could feel someone wrapping their arm around mommy, I figure it must have been Aunt Rosalie. As mommy was moving slowly I heard Jacob say "No, Don't get up" it was so soft, like a whisper. Then mommy kind of snapped back at him by saying "I'm answering your question" I felt mommy move, she was now standing straight up. I also felt a little chill she must have took off whatever was hiding me from Jacob.
I felt my mommy cradle me; she had one hand below me and one above me. She must have been showing me to Jacob. I wondered what he thought of me I could only imagine how angry he probably was at that moment. I heard Jacob tell mommy how she had looked to him that day.
He told her that she looked awful; she looked like something was sucking the life out of her. And I knew when Jacob told mommy this that he was talking about me. I felt so bad; I knew I was killing my mommy. I sometimes wished they would have gotten rid of me. Even though I wanted to live and meet my mommy I have come so dearly to love. I knew it wasn't going to be very easy. If she did survive it would be as a vampire, and it would be my fault that she would no longer be human. I hated myself for doing this to my mommy. All she was doing was protecting me and I was killing her. As mommy stood there cradling me something happened. All of a sudden I heard my daddy say "Outside, Jacob" and then he snarled. This scared me. I wanted to just hide and cry. I didn't like when daddy had that hard voice. I came to learn that it meant he was mad. But why was he mad at Jacob? What had happened at the moment to make him get so angry? Then I heard Jacob say "Let's do this" his voice was hard as well. He must have also been angry. Was it me? Was I the reason they are so angry?
As all this was going on I heard my mommy gasp as she said "No" She went to step forward and stumbled. I'm sure it was Aunt Rosalie that had a hold of her. Then I heard my daddy say "I just need to talk to him, Bella" his voice was softer now, more of a pleading voice. Then I could tell he touched my mommies face. I could feel her lighting up from his touch. Then I heard him say "Don't strain yourself, please rest we'll both be back in a few minutes" his voice was so sincere now. When he spoke with that tone I wasn't scared of him, I liked that tone.
I felt my mommy trying to sit back down, Aunt Rosalie was the one helping her I was sure. After she was all the way back down I heard her say "Behave, and then come back". I'm not sure who she was talking to daddy or Jacob. I could still hear my daddy and Jacob as they headed out the front door. I heard my daddy say "I'm not ready for you to kill me, Jacob Black" I didn't know what this meant. Kill him? Why would Jacob want to kill my daddy? It wasn't his fault my mommy was going to most likely die. It was mine. I listened closely to my daddy to find out what was going on. The more I tried to listen the more I made mommy sick. She started throwing up again and scream in pain. I felt terrible, I began to sob. I knew this was my entire fault, how could I do this to my mommy. If I could get out now without hurting her I would.
I tried to listen to my daddy as well as keep from hurting my mommy. I felt so bad for my mommy, she just wanted to save me and for what, to have me kill her for the effort. Mommy must have sensed my tension because she kept rubbing her belly and saying. "It will be alright baby, no one will ever take you from me" I sobbed again. As I tried to be still for my mommy's sake I hear Jacob ask my daddy "It's killing her, right? She's dying." This made me sob harder. Mommy must have looked really bad for him to say that. I couldn't believe what I was doing to my mommy.
As I was sobbing for what I was doing to my mommy I heard my daddy say "My fault," I couldn't believe he would say it was his fault. It wasn't his fault it was mine; he was trying to put the blame on himself? I couldn't believe after how he reacted about me that he would say it was his fault. He should be saying it was my fault. I wished he would blame me, even though it makes me sad I know it's true. How could it be my daddies fault when he is trying to help her? The more I got upset and moved the more I could hear my mommy yell in pain. She would rub her belly every time I would move and hurt her.
"It's alright baby" I heard my mommy say as she rubbed her belly. Daddy will be right back I promise. Mommy didn't sound too sure about what she was saying. She tried to make it sound convincing, but you could hear the fear in her voice. Would daddy really come back or would Jacob hurt him, could Jacob hurt him?
While I was wondering about this I caught Jacob saying "How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs." I couldn't believe he would say this, if he really cared for my mommy like he sounded that he did why would he want to hurt her? Or maybe he thought that I was hurting her and by holding mommy down and forcing me out it would be better. I was starting to sob again, I knew this was my entire fault and now Jacob was blaming me as well as daddy. Then I heard my daddy say "I wanted to, Carlisle would have" My daddy wanted to hold mommy down and force me out? He must really hate me, I know he just wants to help mommy but surely he would have some kind of feeling towards me? I was so scared and sad. I knew daddy hated me for what I was doing to mommy, but I can't believe that he and Granddaddy would have actually forced me out. I wondered why they didn't do this. Why say you would but you haven't, mommy wasn't strong enough to fight them off. Maybe that is where my Aunt Rosalie came in, maybe she was fighting them. Mommy said she would protect me; Rosalie must be the one doing the fighting on behalf of my mommy. I stopped trying to hear what daddy and Jacob were talking about and focused more on trying not to hurt my mommy. It was so hard not to hurt her; every time I breathed I would hurt her. It was so cramped inside mommy, I couldn't blink without hurting her, and I felt so bad for her. I hated myself for wanting to meet them, I knew if I was born I wouldn't get to meet my mommy because in order for me to be born my mommy would die. And if mommy died then daddy would most likely kill me for killing her. Then what is the purpose in wanting to be born if I kill mommy and await my fate for what I have done.
Mommy had to stay on the couch a lot because she was so big she couldn't move. I knew Aunt Rosalie was always with her, I could hear her always consoling mommy. Always asking if she needed something or if she was alright. I was thankful for her helping mommy so much. I had wondered how come Aunt Rosalie didn't hate me as my daddy did. I was told that Rosalie didn't like my mommy very much because she wanted to become like them. Rosalie said she was making a mistake. So if she thought she was making a mistake how come she sat there watching me kill her. Wouldn't she want to save her from dying or becoming one of them?
I had a lot go through my rapidly growing mind; mommy always rubbed her belly and talked to me, trying to calm me. As did Rosalie, I knew they loved me and wanted me. But what if mommy did survive, would she really love me for what I did to her? Could she really love a monster like me?
As I sobbed feeling so bad for my mother I happened to hear my daddy tell Jacob "The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to kill me". I couldn't believe he said that. Mommy meant everything to him so would he kill me for killing her then have Jacob to kill him? Or would he be so crushed by mommy dying that he would forget about me and just have Jacob kill him? Either way meant that no matter what happened I would never get to met either of my parents. I couldn't stand the thought of being in a world where everyone around me blamed me for the death of my mommy and daddy.
As these thoughts were going through my mind I could hear footsteps, I knew they were daddy and Jacobs they must be coming back inside. I was scared, scared more than ever. Would Jacob hold mommy down and make Granddaddy force me out? Could he hate me more than my daddy hated me?
I heard my daddy walk over to my mommy, but Jacobs's footsteps stopped far away. Was he still here? Then I heard my daddy say "We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately" He sound strange when he said this, what was he thinking I wondered, there was no emotion behind his words. Then Aunt Rosalie hissed and said "Over my pile of ashes" You could hear the anger in her voice, it sounded as if she wanted to kill Jacob and my daddy both for even mentioning Jacob being alone with mommy and me.
It the same emotionless tone as before I heard daddy say "Bella, Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?" There was a moment of silence then mommy replied "Rose, its fine. Jakes not going to hurt us. Go with Edward" Did mommy really think Jacob wouldn't hurt me, I could tell he wouldn't hurt mommy just by his voice when he spoke about her. But I was sure he hated me for killing her, as did my daddy.
While they were still discussing this, I could catch part of their conversation in between my thoughts of how much I knew they hated me. I heard daddy say "Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie, we're the one's she's afraid of" you could hear the anger in his voice as he said this. Was this anger towards me? Or him? Or my mommy for wanting me? I then heard my mommy whisper "No, No Edward I'm not"
Daddy then tried to make her feel better by saying "I didn't mean it like that, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me" Then I could hear a bunch of footstep, everyone was leaving the room. Except Jacob. He was staying to talk to mommy, to talk her out of keeping me I'm sure. Then I heard a heartbeat close to my mommy. I could feel mommy's hands moving then she said "Thanks, Jake. That feels good" He must have been holding her hands, I knew they were cold, so he must have been warming them up. Then out of nowhere Jacob said "I'm not going to lie, Bells. You're hideous." How could he say that to her, she was beautiful even though I was sucking the life out of her. He should have been more sincere and not so mean to say how bad she looked. Then mommy sighed and said "I know. I'm scary-looking" I couldn't believe my mommy was agreeing with him. She wasn't that bad I know she looked kind of bad but still. He should be trying to make her feel better not worse.
Well Jacob and mommy talked for a good while he was trying to talk her out of keeping me. Mommy was stubborn, and she wouldn't even listen to him.
As Jacob and mommy talked I could start to hear the tension in Jacobs's voice. It was slight at first but then it started to get more noticeable then it was full blown. I heard Jacob say "Tell me what the point was then, Bella! What was the point of me loving you? What was the point of you loving him? When you die" I could hear the pain and anger in his voice as he said those words. He loved my mommy, and he hated to see me killing her. And mommy loved daddy but was this really worth it. He didn't want me, he knew I would kill mommy so he wanted nothing to do with me. So what would be the point in mommy going through all this pain?
Then I heard Jacob say "You're dying for nothing, Bella! Nothing!" This made me sob, he was right. She would be dying for nothing, I wasn't worth all the pain it will cause when I am born and kill mommy. It will hurt Jacob, Daddy, her mommy and daddy. And probably some of daddy's family would be hurt by me killing mommy. I felt mommy put her hands on her belly and rub me gently. I knew this was her telling me it was going to be alright. But it wasn't, I knew it wasn't. Then I could hear my mommy say "Did you know Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human I mean." I didn't know that until then and then I was told the whole story later.
Mommy explained a little bit about it to him but I didn't understand it until later when they retold me the story. I was too busy sobbing about what Jacob had said earlier. Mommy and Jacob talked about a lot of things, I heard bits and pieces of it. I would have heard it all but I was so busy thinking among myself and sobbing. I didn't want to hear Jacob calling my mommy stupid and saying what a horrible thing I was. I wanted to protect my mommy, but I couldn't. I wanted to just get out of my mommy and tell Jacob to back off and not to criticize her like that. I hated how he talked to her and how he talked about my daddy. Even though I knew my daddy hated me and how I was afraid of him I didn't like him talking about how it was daddies fault that I was killing mommy.
As I was getting angry I felt my mommy clutch her belly. I knew I had hurt her yet again. I wish I could have stopped hurting her so much. But I was so angry at Jacob for stuff he was saying to my mommy. He was upsetting her and I didn't like that. I heard mommy say "He's strong that's all" At first I was confused by this, I knew she still thought I was a boy but didn't realize what the "just strong, that's all" meant. Then I got it, when I would kick mommy hard on accident I would leave a purple bruise. I could see this from the inside that is how hard I would kick her. It was proof of what kind of monster I was. I was horrible, a monster. I felt mommy pulling her shirt down, I figured she was trying to cover the proof.
Then I could hear Jacob talking about something weird, something about mommy having a second chance at a baby or something. Then mommy said "Oh. Ugh. Please, Jacob. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute?" I could hear the anger in her voice. She despised this idea. But was it true? Could mommy kill me and still have a chance at having a normal baby and a normal life?
Mommy was asking Jacob if daddy put him up to this, to have him convince her to kill me. Daddy really did hate me, he was trying to get everyone to convince mommy to kill me. Mommy was rubbing her hands on her belly trying to soothe me. I loved it when she did this; it made me feel secure when she touched her belly to let me know it was going to be alright. Then mommy said "Wow, He really would do anything, wouldn't he" I wondered what he was doing. I didn't know then. Mommy had told me the story later when I asked her about it. I couldn't believe what daddy was willing to do to make mommy happy. He thought it was just her wanting a baby, any baby.
After a little longer I heard Jacob get up and start walking away. Then mommy said "Love you, Jake" Mommy had a lot of feelings for Jacob, just not the kind he wanted. He tried to talk some sense into her. But she was to attached to me to listen to anyone. I had wondered a few times if there was some way I could talk to her, whether or not she would listen to me if I told her to kill me so she could live.
Well I couldn't hear Jacob anymore, but I did hear the others come back into the room. "Are you alright?" Aunt Rosalie asked "I am fine" mommy replied to her, you could hear the tenderness of her voice. "He didn't get anywhere with you did he?" daddy asked. "May we have a minute?" mommy asked, I guess she wanted to talk to daddy alone. I head the others leave the room. Then mommy said "I know what you asked Jacob to do" her voice was so sincere when she said this. Was she talking about him calling her stupid or about the wanting to replace me? Daddy didn't say anything. I felt mommy mover her arms, she must have reached for daddy's hands or something. "It is sweet that you were willing to give me a baby no matter who it was with" mommy told daddy "It isn't the fact that it was just a baby though" "Please, Bella" daddy said "Tell me why you are doing this to yourself? To me?" I felt mommies hand on her belly again, soothing me. "This baby is part of you and part of me" mommy said "I can't destroy something so perfect" I could hear the love in mommies voice when she said this; she truly believed I was worth all her pain.
Daddy and mommy were both very quiet. After awhile I head the others comeback in. A lot went on for the next hours. I was still growing fast and causing mommy lots of pain. And I was also causing her not to be able to eat. I couldn't stand the stuff she was eating, it tasted badly to me.
Granddaddy decided to hook mommy up to a bunch of monitors and such. I could hear him telling her what they were for. As I could hear them moving the furniture around, he put an IV into her arm to give her liquid, he strapped a monitor to her to hear her heart and breathing. Both of which were too hard for her. They weren't normal. And he put tubes into her that gave her food. It was strange tasting food; it didn't have any flavour it was just like a thick liquid. It wasn't as bad as the food mommy tried to eat so it didn't bother me so bad.
I still didn't like it very well but I tried for my mommy's sake to endure it. I needed something else, but how could I tell them that. If they knew what I really needed it would make them hate me more. They would realize what I was doing to mommy, I didn't mean to do it but I was starving and mommy's blood is all I can handle. I tried to force myself to eat the other stuff but it was awful.
Apparently Jacob was the one who figured it out, he must be pretty smart to be able to understand me more than my own family. I could hear a conversation between Granddaddy, Daddy, Jacob and Aunt Rosalie. They must have been outside cause it was hard to him them whispering. But I did hear daddy say "Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves, what it's not getting?" I wondered if they figured it out. Do they know I need blood, will they hate me worse for needing it to survive?
I heard everyone come back inside, were they going to kill me now? Knowing what I was doing and what I wanted. I sobbed thinking about how I was literally killing my mommy by sucking the life out of her. Then I heard granddaddy say "We think the foetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours. We think it's thirsty." It was silent for a second the mommy said "oh, OH" she understood what he was saying very quickly. She now knew I was a bloodthirsty monster. Would that make her not love me anymore? Would she want rid of me now? Part of me hoped mommy would say yes to getting rid of me so I would quit killing her. But the other part wanted to be close to her.
Then I felt mommies hand rubbing her belly, I knew she was saying it will be alright. Then she said "I'm starving, let's go for it" I couldn't believe she was so up for doing this. Does she really love me enough to drink blood? Human blood, to keep me alive?
I could hear a bunch of commotion going on. I couldn't tell what some of it was, I could hear mommy and daddy talking with Jacob but that was all I could make out. A little while later I heard them talking about a cup that my mommy was going to drink. I knew it was blood and I felt bad for her having to do this for me. Then I heard mommy say "It smells good" I was a little shocked by this statement could she really think this would be good? Was it because I craved it that it made her think she wanted it?
I wasn't sure of what the reason all I knew was I would have what I needed and would stop hurting my mommy so much for right now. As mommy started drinking it I could automatically taste it, it was so good. I then heard mommy say "It tastes good, too" I couldn't believe my human mommy was drinking blood for me. For us.
Mommy kept drinking a lot of the blood; it was so good to me and apparently to mommy as well. I could hear her heart starting to beat more normally and her breathing wasn't so shallow. I guess by giving me what I need it was helping her to feel better. She told me once that the blood she drank was really good and she was really glad it helped. She also said if they would have figured it out sooner it wouldn't have been so rough for either of us.
She drank another cup full, it made me even stronger but it also made her stronger. I was just so happy they figured out what I needed and they didn't kill me for wanting it. I did try to let mommy eat human food as well, I had remembered how good the eggs were when I was first in her and I craved them for her. I could stomach those so it would help her to be able to eat them.
Aunt Rosalie was so supportive of me and what I needed as was my mommy. I heard Jacob leave, the blood drinking must have been too much or he was going to check with his pack or something. I had heard him say something about an attack or something. I had overheard a conversation about how Jacob was part of a wolf pack and how they changed into wolves to kill vampires. I was told later how the other wolves wanted to kill me and Jacob and a couple others broke away to protect me. Even though he hated me at the time he was willing to protect me for my mommy's sake.
The rest of the family were hovering and doing stuff for mommy, getting her more blood to drink as well as moving furniture back around. Mommy rubbed her belly and said "It is going to be alright baby; we know what you need now. Sorry mommy didn't realize it sooner" I knew it wasn't her fault for not knowing what I needed; I had no way to tell any of them. I wanted to tell them how much I was sorry for what I was doing and how much I loved my mommy.
All the blood she was drinking was making me stronger; I tried to sit still so I didn't hurt her. It was really hard to do this, especially now that I had more strength. I moved around a little to try and get comfortable, about that time I heard a crack and then a scream. I had just broken my mommy's rib. I felt so bad I started to sob. I didn't mean to do it. I was just trying to move around a bit.
I felt Aunt Rosalie carry mommy and me up the stairs. Granddaddy said he was going to take and x-ray of mommies ribs to see how bad I broke them. Luckily it wasn't that bad, I still felt terrible for doing it but I didn't mean to. I ended up breaking a second rib by mistake but granddaddy fixed it. Mommy kept rubbing her belly and saying "It's alright baby, it's not your fault" I still wanted to sob for hurting her. Mommy's body was running a fever, it was hot then cold. Guess that is where Seth came in he would keep her warm and daddy would keep her cool depending on how she felt.
Daddy told mommy how much better she looked, said her cheeks had a slight colour back to them and she didn't look so fragile. Jacob would agree saying "Yeah, you don't look as terrible" So the blood is giving mommy back her strength and colour so she looks and feels better.
Mommy has made it a normal routine to drink blood like a normal human would drink water or any other liquid. I started to feel a little better knowing mommy was doing better.
I could hear another voice I never heard before, daddy called him Seth; he was one of the wolves from Jacobs pack. He was helping to protect me and mommy. He sat beside my mommy and kept her warm. Since daddy and the rest were vampires they were cold, and Seth and Jacob where warm. I also heard them talk about someone named Leah but I hadn't heard her voice yet so I didn't know her.
I could hear mommy and Jacob talking, he was asking her questions about how much longer she was going to have me in her and how come she always wanted me around. One thing that caught my attention was Jacob said "I'll never be part of your family, Bella" I didn't understand it then. But now I do, he loved mommy and wanted her to be with him and not my daddy. But he did end up part of the family. Maybe not the way he wanted but he didn't end up there.
I could hear mommy trying to tell Jacob that he meant a lot to her and how she wanted him around. I could hear from the tone in his voice that he loved her still but the pain of her being with my daddy was more then he could bear.
I started to hear daddy saying the name Charlie, he was mommy's daddy. I wondered if I would ever get to meet him, he would probably hate me more than anyone for killing his daughter. I tried to stay still but I was so cramped I had to move; this time I did it more gently. Although it made mommy convulse and I heard granddaddy and daddy talking about it. Mommy said "He's just stretching, that's all" It irritated me a little bit that they still thought I was a boy. I so wished I could have told them I was a girl.
I started getting use to my daddy's voice, it scared me sometimes when he was angry but when he was sincere his voice was soothing. I loved when mommy would talk to me her voice was so magical, even though it was weak. I still loved it as I loved her.
I could hear Jacob and Aunt Rosalie arguing or fighting or something. Daddy was quiet and mommy didn't say much, just a few things to Jacob. I wanted to shout at them so bad. I wanted them to hear me like I could hear them. I kept shouting, "I love you mommy" every time she would say something I wanted her to talk more, I loved the sound of her voice it made me so happy. Then I felt a touch, it wasn't mommies touch that I have come to love. It was more hesitant, and a little cold. Was it daddy? Why was he touching mommy's belly?
Then I heard mommy say "Holy crow, you can hear him!" hear him? Hear who" I thought, were they talking about me? Could daddy hear me? I didn't know if he was listening to me or not but I started thinking about how happy I was to be alive. Then I heard daddy say "He's happy" I couldn't believe daddy could hear me, I was so excited I would be able to tell them how I wasn't hurting mommy on purpose and how I was happy they haven't killed me.
Then I could feel mommies touch and she said "Of course you're happy pretty baby, of course you are. How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ" EJ? I wondered that must be what she wants to name me because she thinks I am a boy. It didn't matter, mommy knew I loved her and she loved me. She would find out soon enough I was a girl. I told them how much I loved their voices and daddy told mommy what I said. I was so excited that they could hear me now.
Then I heard Aunt Rosalie say "What if he's a she?" I started to think that maybe they knew I was a girl. Mommy replied to her and said she wanted to name me "Renesmee, if I was a girl" I liked that, it sounded different and interesting. Daddy was able to tell mommy how much I loved and adored her. I could hear the love in daddy's voice now, could it be that he was accepting me? I started to feel as though my perfect family was all coming together. Maybe mommy was right and this would all work out.
Daddy told mommy that he was so sorry for trying to make her get rid of me. That she was right to want to keep me and how much I loved her and how he now realizes that she knew from the beginning that I loved her. He is trying to plead for forgiveness from mommy for trying to kill me. And of course mommy forgives him how could she not. I was so happy that daddy loved me now, and that he stopped blaming himself and even me for what is happening. I was so happy that it was a possibility that I will have a happy family, granted I don't kill mommy in the process.
I finally got to hear the voice of Leah, although she was yelling and screaming at my mommy about how badly she has been treating Jacob. I didn't understand all of this. She was yelling so much I couldn't focus on what she was saying. I wanted to get out and tell her to quit. I could feel her upsetting mommy. But then it was over and Leah left. I nudged mommy gently to let her know I loved her. She rubbed her belly and said "I love you to baby"
I overheard daddy telling Jacob that he wants granddaddy to deliver me tomorrow. Before I try to come out myself. He thinks by doing this that mommy will have a better chance. I was excited I would be meeting mommy and daddy soon.
Well Jacob and mommy had their normal conversation about different things. I tried to sit still I was so cramped I could barely breath. I heard mommy asked Aunt Rosalie if she could walk to the bathroom this time, usually Aunt Rosalie carried her but she decided to let her walk. Mommy stood up and I could feel the weight of myself against mommy's body. I felt as if she was going to fall over, I tried to hold still but for some reason mommy suddenly leaned forward. When she did this it cramped me so bad that I had to move. Unfortunately when I did mommy started to fall after I cracked something and then she screamed. Then I knew something was wrong, I felt sick which in return made mommy throw up all the blood she just drank. I was so scared, what she alright? Did I finally break something that couldn't be fixed? All I could think was mommy I love you very much. I had hoped daddy would hear and tell her.