You think back to that night often. What if the cops hadn't found you in time? what if you had actually died?
You're sitting on the deck in your new home that overlooks the Panamanian beach. Your feet hang down from the side, tangled in another pair. A hand covers yours that is rested beside you and your head is on a muscular, tattooed shoulder.
"What are you thinking about?" the figure besides you asks. You can feel his lips forming the words as his cheek rests on the top of your head.
"How far we've come," you reply, squeezing his fingers. He lifts his head to look at you with those piercing blue eyes, his lips forming into a smile.
"We really have come a long way. It's been two weeks since you've woken up from a nightmare so we're definitely making progress." he says, encouragingly.
You smile back at him. "I feel safer now than I did before. In fact, I feel better in general now than I have in a long time."
"I'm glad," he replies, resting a hand on your rounded belly. You're still amazed that you've had a life growing inside of you for the past six and a half months. You can't help but think about the fact that, not even a year ago, you were trying to take your own life, and now you're creating a new life.
You realize now that life is a gift and you should cherish it, whether it is your own or anyone else's. You should love yourself and care about your own life just as much as you would for your children. It was a hard lesson to learn but you're glad you lived long enough to learn it and you know that you'll never take life for granted again. In fact, sitting here, watching the waves and feeling the cool breeze on your hair with the warmth of the man sitting next to you, you realize that, just like all those cliched fairy tales state, there is indeed a happily ever after. You just have to be patient and strong until you get there.
This story is for anyone that's ever suicidal. Just know, you're not alone and there are people that care about you. You may not realize it right now, but so many people will miss you and would hate for you to harm yourself in any way. Don't be afraid to reach out if you need to. And for every single one of my readers, whether or not you're dealing with something, always try to be there for others. A small kindness can go a long way so try to spread the kindness and positivity around. You never know who might need a pick me up.
If any of you guys ever need anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to PM me. I mean it.